False advertising alert, Subway is full of shit.

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subway sucks1 False advertising alert, Subway is full of shit.
Against my better judgment I dined at Subway today and it backfired. Click here for full story.

I eat at Subway about 3 times per year for the same reason my friend Ed likes Hootie and the Blowfish…I have no idea. Anyway, I was hungry and the sign out front said, $5 ALL FOOTLONGS. Not just the 4 standard, boring subs on sale, but ALL their subs were only $5. An event like this comes around as often as Hailey’s Comet, so I said, f#@*k it, I’m goin’ in. I ordered the Philly Cheese Steak because only royalty, astronauts, and Burt Reynolds eat Philly Cheese Steaks and since its only $5 I figured I can swing it, even in this economy. I get to the obviously illegal-alien cashier and she rings me up. “$9.89” she says. I didn’t get a drink, chips, or pop so I think she simply mixed up her English numbers. I point to the giant sign that says, “$5 ALL FOOTLONGS.” To which she says, “$9.89” and explains that ALL footlong subs are $5, EXCEPT the Philly Cheese Steak and the Pastrami -pointing to the small print on the sign’

“Excludes Double-Stacked and all Premium Sandwiches”

Last time I checked, “all” meant “everything” as in: “ALL the king’s horses and ALL the kings men could not put Humpty Dumpty back together again.” Nursery rhymes don’t lie. Or in court when they say, “ALL rise for the honorable Judge Harry T Stone.” I pretty sure you go to jail if you don’t rise. Or as in “Ashes, ashes, we ALL fall down.” If you don’t fall down, you are a dubbed a loser at a very young age. I digress…back to my great story,
So after she pointed out my mistake, I simply shook my head in confusion and the guy next to me says, “That’s a buncha bullshit.” He was correct. Out of protest, I didn’t argue, nor pay for the “Premium Sub”, I just got back in line, ordered a “Chipotle Steak” (the exact same sandwich with a different name), paid my $5 plus tax and peaced out with my sub-par sub.
On my way home I got to thinking… those poor Subway employees, legal or not, are going to have to explain to every person who orders the Philly or the Pastrami that those subs do not fall under the “ALL” category and that the corporate marketing team at Subway doesn’t own a f@*#king dictionary. Something must be done. Join me in my protest by going to your neighborhood Subway and ordering a Philly or Pastrami sub. After the artist completes his/her masterpiece, don’t pay for it, just leave and go to Wendys because Dave Thomas never told a lie. But do order a cookie because those things have crack in them. That is all. Back to the photos.
subway sucks2 False advertising alert, Subway is full of shit.

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  • Looney

    Even bigger bullshit is where it says “PILED HIGH!” Um, yeah, I guess. If you consider 2 slices of meat “piled high”. BULLSHIT.

    Subway sucks. For the prices they charge, you should get a decent sammich. You don’t.

  • Hammy

    Dave Thomas lied plenty…was an ex-con.

  • Yours says "Doug"

    Calmer than you are.

  • ROb

    Subway sucks. Eat Pita Pit instead. More meat. better toppings. Delicious

  • LOL

    You really want to see an illegal (or native born) “artist” get confused…hell even managers any more don’t know how to do it…ask them to cut your sandwich the old way. Their eyes glaze over. Even after I explained that cutting it the old way makes a really good trough for meatball sandwiches, they still don’t get it. I have physically taken the bread, the knife, and started the cut…just to have them take over and screw it up.

    But what do you want? I mean hell…it’s just a freakin’ sandwich. Still…it’s about as frustrating as trying to pick your nose with casts on both arms. LOL :P

  • Amanda

    When I read “it’s about as frustrating as trying to pick your nose with casts on both arms” in LOL’s comment, I misread it as “cats” instead of “casts.” And then I spent the next 30 seconds picturing someone trying to pick their nose with these fuzzy cats hanging on for dear life, yowling and digging their claws into the person’s forearm…

    You’ll have to excuse me. I’m easily amused. Still, the picture in my head was pretty funny.

  • Paul in EC

    Their tuna IS good, all else not.

  • RimA

    Well it is not the employee’s fault.

  • gardenia28

    Quit being such a baby. The employees just do what they are told. Like 9 dollars is such a big deal…

    • Jada

      it is a big deal in this economy right now, times are hard people want value for their hard earned money! even if it's just 9 dollars.

  • Beefy

    I’m glad somebody pointed this out on a highly visited site. I stopped in a while back and my aunt went in to get a sub while I sat in the car and waited. She came out cursing and apparently gave them all hell inside for this very reason. And the sign hanging on the door… it didn’t have the small print at the bottom. The only print on it said ALL subs were $5. Shortly after this incident they replaced all of their signs with new signs that named all of the specific subs that were $5. Bullshit.

  • sib

    what get’s me is that the sub that the visually depict on the sign is the very sub that doesn’t fall under the deal. “Bullshit”

  • rudeboi


  • Jake

    Sorry but I have to agree with the person who said quit being a baby. I mean did you honestly believe they would give you a double stacked version of their most expensive sandwich for $5? If so you are truly naive. Did you believe the M & M slogan of melts in your mouth not in your hand? I normally love this site but this was just bull shit.

  • db3300

    Jake, you’re obviously 16 and don’t work for your money. The post was about a typical sandwich and not one “double stacked”. You’re playing fast and loose with the facts that you were given. There’s a big difference between ‘all’ and ‘some’ and if you don’t see the big deal, then you’ll have people taking advantage of you and your wallet the rest of your life. You’ve apparently never had an M&M either as chocolate most definitely melts in your mouth.

    Same goes for the Einstein that doesn’t see the big deal between an ad for $5 and being charged almost $10. It doesn’t matter that “it’s not the employees’ fault”. When you take that attitude, the people who make the decision never hear about it and will continue to try and pull the wool over your eyes.

    Standing on principle means something to most people. I would walk if they tried to charge me 5.01 before tax. Especially for the crap that they pass off as a sandwich.

  • Equalizer

    Calm down everybody. Let’s just order Chinese instead…

  • Tugboat

    You are an embarrassment to your self, your family and to America. Learn to read (even the fine print). People like you are why the rest of the world thinks we Americans are so stupid. Have some pride. It’s just a sandwich.

  • atfdrummer

    db3300 I think what jake was trying to say about the m + m's is that despite the claim, they will also melt in your hands. Which is true and physically possible.

    • john

      due to the candy shell, M&M's will NOT melt in your hand, that was the point when they designed it. it was a way for G.I.'s in WWII to get their ration of chocolate without it melting in their pocket. the colors of the shell will run but as long as the shell is intact, the chocolate will not.

  • wtf

    damn now i just wanna know what cutting it the “old” way is

  • moose

    I hate the smell in Subway. They all smell the same too.

  • Skip

    The old way was to cut a “V” shaped wedge out of the top the bread as opposed to slicing the bread length wise.

    Years ago Subway used to be good. But today they put such little on a sammich, it is not even worth walking through the door.

  • soaperz!

    ya subway charges a lot but i mean come on their still selling you pretty good food and ya what their doing is wrong but what ever happend to forgive and forget? I mean people dont start hating you and just stop talking to you because you lied or stole or did someting small yes you would have some one say something to you but they all wouldnt leave you!! so ya so subway made a mistake help them fix it but dont stop eating at subway!

    • Jeff

      Subway charges a lot? Ya think? They take frozen pre-cooked meat that’s basically the same quality and consistency of canned dog food, then microwave it for 20 seconds and then turn around and charge you $10 freaking dollars calling it a “Premium” sub!

      And Americans with no sense of taste or quality at this point because they’re so used to processed crap accept this as “Made Fresh” and “decent quality”.

  • Robert

    Subway simply sucks. The only people that enjoy it are people that make sucky sandwiches at home or are comparing it to Quizno’s.

    If you want a mean Philly CheeseSteak, go to Charley’s Grilled Subs. Their subs kick Subways @$$. They use real steak, cheese and don’t freaking microwave your steak/chicken. I still find it hard to believe Subway microwaves your meat right in front of you, lol! Real steak is thrown on a grill just like Chipotle, Charley’s Grilled Subs, Penn Station, etc.

  • anaition

    People, get a life. Don’t like subway? Don’t eat there. Think they’re lying about their prices? Make an official letter of complaint, don’t whine about it here. Thanks & chive on! :)

  • anaition

    Oh, and by the way, remember it’s NOT the “obviously illegal-alien cashier[‘s]” fault (“mixing up her English numbers” as u say), it’s WHITE CORPORATE americans eating your ass fresh.

    Chive on :)

  • Cheryl

    Is not like they can’t change it to $5 some subs…I love how they say in their commercial “ANY” and there’s so much focus on this but yet put in little tiny letter “excluding premium”, haha. That’s why I don’t go there.

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