The Onion purchases The Chive (April Fools)

chive sold The Onion purchases The Chive (April Fools)
Dear Chive readers,

Sold! We are proud to announce the sale of to The Onion. We cannot disclose how much the Onion Inc.-owned company purchased The Chive for, but we can say it was enough to quit our day jobs and hire an in-house masseuse. Full story here. Don’t worry, we are not “going corporate” and nothing will change for you, our loyal users. John and I will continue to oversee the day-to-day postings and will remain in complete control of all creative content. The only difference is that John and I will be working from all over the world instead of being confined to broom closets and peep-show booths. You will notice a faster user experience with less-annoying advertising -aka disgusting Teeth Whitening google ads. You will also notice an increase in postings because we won’t be splitting time with our 9-5 careers.
The President and CEO of The Onion, Steve Hannah, had this to say about the acquisition,

“We couldn’t be happier to be associated with The site is addicting and is a perfect fit with The Onion’s humor and demographic. Our fanbase here at The Onion has more or less plateaued and we are hoping The Chive will inject a whole new element of added value to our users’ experience.”

Just to clarify, will continue to live separately from The Onion and also within their site at (link not live yet). will also link to via their navigation bar and a homepage widget. The integration should be complete within the month. So now you have the best of both worlds with The World’s Largest Photo Blog with America’s Finest News Source -what more could you ask for?

Thank you all so much for your support and loyalty -we could not have done it without you!

Note: All advertising inquiries for can now be directed to Click Here for more information.

See you at the top and Happy April Fools Day suckas!

Leo and John

  • LOL

    Does this mean we get free chive & onion potato chips? ๐Ÿ˜€ Please? ๐Ÿ˜‰ God I hope y’all get to come out of the closet more often now…even if this is a farcicality. ๐Ÿ˜€

  • JB


    yes u will be shipped some potato chips very soon. wait for the delivery. ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Anonymous

    The Onion and the Chive. A match made in heaven.

  • Amanda

    To LOL: My new favorite word is “farcicality.” Awesome.

  • Justin

    You had me! Its always seemed like such a perfect fit.

    oh well, viva la chive!

  • Andrew

    When the onion made their offer, did you happen to look at a calendar?

  • Rembrandt

    Hello, I found your blog in a new directory of blogs. I dont know how your blog came up, must have been a typo, Your blog looks good. Have a nice day.

  • Zach

    3.9 MILLION!?!

  • xclusive02

    yeah, this isn’t funny after the fact, but it is a comment for my numbers… ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Connie Carter

    This reminds me of something that my mom always said…
    Then it is definitely not appropriate just now…

  • Cheryl Young

    This brings to mind something that my uncle used to say…
    However its probably inappropriate at this time…

  • Albert Moore

    This brings to mind something my father always said…
    Of course it’s most likely not appropriate right this moment…

  • TheRaddish

    Congrats, you copycat glom artists. You have succeeded in failing at failure. YOU SUCK!

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