21 things The Chive would buy if we won the Mega Millions lottery
In no particular order…
1. The infamous Virgin Mary Grilled Cheese
I would eat it and be all knowing.
2. Solid gold Kate Moss statue
This would go great with my all gold statue of the late, great Robert Goulet.
3. The Wonder Wheel from the movie ‘The Toy’ with Richard Pryor
If you’ve never seen the movie, get the hell off my site.
4. This bubble
Sans little Asian girl.
5. A real life unicorn
This creature exists -believe it!
6. Tiny Tim’s crutch
He’s dead now and doesn’t need it. I do.
7. The Onion
Who’s laughing now bitches!?
Zero explanation needed. See box cover photo.
9. Private island with ferris wheel
That’s not photoshopped.
Because I I love him for the planet he wants to be. And I love him for the planet he almost is. -Jerry McGuire
11. Mr Belvedere
Think about it, if you came over to my mansion and Mr f#@*king Belvedere answered the door, your head might explode.
I will then claim Mexico for the United States and single handedly stop our illegal immigration problem because all the Mexicans who want to come to the US will instantly be in the US without leaving their shanty living room. Boom. Done.
13. Koala Bear cubs
A baby koala bear is 10 times more effective for picking up chicks than a cute dog. It’s science.
14. McDonald’s Monopoly
I would finally get both Boardwalk and Parkplace.
15. The original muppets from Fraggle Rock
I will need an entourage for my new millionaire fame
16. The original Delorean from back to the future
That way I can go back in time and watch myself winning the lottery again and again
18. The oversized piano from the movie Big
I need a place to put my slip-n-slide
19. Tina Turner’s legs
Her legs are insured for 3.2 million, so I consider this a sound investment
20. The Smurf house in the Venice, CA canals
Halle Berry can simply ride her jet ski right up to my back door.
21. Cindy Taylor
Who else is gonna clean my Smurf house in a French maid uniform??