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21 things The Chive would buy if we won the Mega Millions lottery

new lotto lead 21 things The Chive would buy if we won the Mega Millions lottery
In no particular order…

1. The infamous Virgin Mary Grilled Cheese

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I would eat it and be all knowing.

2. Solid gold Kate Moss statue

kate moss fun 21 things The Chive would buy if we won the Mega Millions lottery
This would go great with my all gold statue of the late, great Robert Goulet.

3. The Wonder Wheel from the movie ‘The Toy’ with Richard Pryor

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If you’ve never seen the movie, get the hell off my site.

4. This bubble

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Sans little Asian girl.

5. A real life unicorn

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This creature exists -believe it!

6. Tiny Tim’s crutch

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He’s dead now and doesn’t need it. I do.

7. The Onion

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Who’s laughing now bitches!?

8. Slip-n-Slide

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Zero explanation needed. See box cover photo.

9. Private island with ferris wheel

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That’s not photoshopped.

10. Pluto

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Because I I love him for the planet he wants to be. And I love him for the planet he almost is. -Jerry McGuire

11. Mr Belvedere

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Think about it, if you came over to my mansion and Mr f#@*king Belvedere answered the door, your head might explode.

12. Mexico

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I will then claim Mexico for the United States and single handedly stop our illegal immigration problem because all the Mexicans who want to come to the US will instantly be in the US without leaving their shanty living room. Boom. Done.

13. Koala Bear cubs

koala lead 21 things The Chive would buy if we won the Mega Millions lottery
A baby koala bear is 10 times more effective for picking up chicks than a cute dog. It’s science.

14. McDonald’s Monopoly

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I would finally get both Boardwalk and Parkplace.

15. The original muppets from Fraggle Rock

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I will need an entourage for my new millionaire fame

16. The original Delorean from back to the future

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That way I can go back in time and watch myself winning the lottery again and again

18. The oversized piano from the movie Big

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I need a place to put my slip-n-slide

19. Tina Turner’s legs

mega millions lottery winnings 2 21 things The Chive would buy if we won the Mega Millions lottery
Her legs are insured for 3.2 million, so I consider this a sound investment

20. The Smurf house in the Venice, CA canals

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Halle Berry can simply ride her jet ski right up to my back door.

21. Cindy Taylor

mega millions lottery winnings 1 21 things The Chive would buy if we won the Mega Millions lottery
Who else is gonna clean my Smurf house in a French maid uniform??
.

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