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The 2009 Redneck Awards

December 15, 2009 | In: Funny

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Redneck Harley

Redneck Bass Boat

Redneck Grill

Redneck Horseshoes

Redneck Lawnmower

Redneck Weatherstation

Redneck Pet Carrier

Redneck Gingerbread House

Redneck Palm Pilot

Redneck Powerball Winner

The Above Powerball Winner on Vacation

…and you might be a redneck if…

A little rain doesn’t spoil your fishing..

You need fashion tips from your husband..

You wear a shirt like this for your engagement picture..

And your wedding cake looked like this..

Your doghouse looks like this..

Your pickup looks like this..

You don’t need a lake to do a little skiing..

Or if your wife is quoted in the local paper saying…

shockresistant

Fantastic! especially like the newspaper clippings… “Family and friends are encouraged to attend” and “I don’t have to get dressed up like I’m going to Wal-Mart or something” pretty much sum up redneckism…lol
henri

the last is the best of dem all
sticks

The bikini woman either needs to lose some weight or put more clothes on Jeez!
Jordo

I grew up with red necks. And I promise you no one on this earth hates red necks more then me! My blood presure just went through the fuck’en roof just looking at these. In all reality, red neck are the scum of the earth. I would rather live with gang bangers then these single brain cell cum stains. And I’m as much as a white guy as the next. When you talk to one, you will be dumber just hearing them talk.

StudleyPendejos

Jordo you’re mad because the rednecks are smarter than you…. I guess that’s why you’d rather hang with gang bangers… Yea those guys are top notch smart fuckers huh? They couldn’t build 1/3 of what the rednecks do and definitely cannot support themselves, they have to rely on their “family”…..Losers like you!
D

You wouldn’t even be alive today had you grown up with gang bangers, you dipshit……..
Joe Budgie

Don’t hold back. Let it all out. Tell us what you really think cause I think you R one.
Jonbon

Mmmm… do you have a mirror?

asdasd

pretty sweet doghouse i must say
Drover1861

Man…The engaged couple is from my home state…and a few towns over. I think these were more “white trash”

Redneck-those who know there is a different life, but choose to live a simple life

White Trash-just plain mean, lazy ,ig’nant (yes i did that on purpose) people, who do not want or think there is a better life.

Trust me…i grew up near both type of people. The
Anonymous

Hey! I’m a redneck jerkhead!

Anonymous

aw don’t be so hard on yourself, you’re not a jerkhead

Jordo

Then I guess I wish you were dead! Fuck you, eat shit and kill your self!

Drover1861

From the North i take it???
D

Jordo, you truly are a retard. It’s a shame for the rest of us that somebody taught a monkey like yourself how to type on a keyboard. Unfortunately, we are all now forced to read your failed attempt at recreating the English language.

sock puppet

Obviously, judging from every, single one of his posts, he’s a 16 year old with a shit-ton of hate in him. Ten bucks says he’s a suburban gangsta. And shit.

Anonymous

Is the first pics a doorbell or a bottle opener.
Sassy

Sooooo, I am guessing # 2 and 3 were made my Florida fans?? ROLL TIDE!

Sassy

*by*

http://shechive.com/2009/12/15/she-chives-friends-with-benefits-17/ SheChive.com » Blog Archive She Chive’s friends with benefits «

[...] 2009 Redneck Awards [...]
HellHathNoFury

Wow, you guys didn’t even need me here to make this a sophomoric idiot-fest. My work here is done.

D

Please leave being clever to the professionals.

HellHathNoFury

I graduated Chic Cum Laude with a BS and an Ass. in Cleverness l0l.

Anonymous

wow….just wow Hell, what a fucking idiot. it’s like you must wake up saying: “you know what world, i’m not going to be funny today either.”

HellHathNoFury

sure as you wake up every morning saying, ‘I don’t have enough balls to be myself, so I’ll troll the web looking for people to harsss whilst hiding behind a false avatar, with no unique name since i’m a big passive-aggressive pansy.’ When you become hilarious, please, inform us.

siyatsoo

No offense, HHNF, but I can’t help but notice…do you really go back to each page you’ve commented on to possibly retaliate to what anybody has to type to you? It just seems really….sad.
Anonymous

true dat, talk about trolling she seems like the worst

http://swiftor.com/forums/f2/its-been-great-year-rednecks-11588/#post146723 Its Been a Great Year For Rednecks – GameOn Forums – Friendly Gamers

[...] Been a Great Year For Rednecks You know your a redneck if… The Chive Blog Archive The 2009 Redneck Awards __________________ sig thanks to xhappyfreakx non-shown sig thanks to DeltronZero000 PSN: [...]
aaron

sweet mower.
papasmurf

DAMN ! Yall say stuff………and shit
robin yates

I learnt something today,,,,,,,,,,,,,, rednecks are totally different to poor white trash ???,,, can someone please explain the difference for me,,,,,,,,,,thank you
jojo

i guess im a redneck because all i need to go skiing is a mountain and some snow…

also am i the only one that thinks the chick in the wedding announcement pic looks like shes about 12 years old?

Hassen bin Sober

Jojo, I was thinking the same thing. I also think she looks a little like the banjo playing kid in Deliverance. She could be his sister, cousin, or both

Max

I’d say shes about 16, and kind of cute too.
SouthernBell

So I totally have to say that the comments made by that Jordo guy is just out of spite. I would also like to point out that as a Southern Girl myself, i have seen many of the technics(s/p) at work. Its very clever and for hard times like this, saving money by making your own improvents is the best way to go. But if your going off of looks go by yourself thousands of dollars worth of bullshit.
I was born and raised in the south and my family is redneck. They do everything for themselves by hunting and growing food in the gardens. The raise hogs and chickens and cattle as well. The only thing they need is clothes bread and milk. Other then that their good on their own.

blueberryvoodoo

i’m a southern girl too, and “i totally have to say that” your grammar just set us back about 35 years.
your family, redneck? I’M SHOOOOOCKED ‘their (they’re) good on their own, they don’t need anyone else’s hogs or book learnin’ or antibiotics’

http://www.uncoached.com/2009/12/16/the-sexiest-movie-christmas-babes-online-collections-of-wtf-and-rachel-uchitel/ Uncoached – The Sexiest Movie Christmas Babes, Online Collections of WTF, and Rachel Uchitel |

[...] Give it up for the 2009 redneck awards – [The Chive] [...]
ZZ-top

Sirs and ma’ams
Red-necks rock. The real red-necks aren’t these inbreeding yahoos and troglodytes.
They’re just simple, innovative, resourceful people. Simple living and re-purposing items is now marketed as “green”.
Heck, red-necks should be called green-necks!
Google Red-neck mods or red-neck spider on you-tube- it’s amazing what some of these people can accomplish with self-taught skills and a substandard education (by virtue of geographic location and low economic resources).
Some of these people would be brilliant engineers if only they had the scholarships.
You put some red-necks up at Boeing or Nasa- there’ll be a a Mars Base and moonshine still up there on Mars before y’all know it.
Y’all drop by some time for some rye whiskey, organic salad, organic cider aplenty and mesquite grilled carp Cajun-style, I catch me from carp-noodlin’, you hear?
Yankees are most welcome. Snooty attitudes can be placed by the door, mind.
hmm

Why is the “2009″ redneck awards when all of these pictures have been around for years?
http://unrealitymag.com/index.php/2009/12/16/nic-cage-kick-ass-big-daddy-2009-geek-screenplays-and-spike-game-award-babes/ Unreality – Nic Cage Kick-Ass Big Daddy, 2009 Geek Screenplays, and Spike Game Award Babes |

[...] Give it up for the 2009 redneck awards – [The Chive] [...]
Captain Obvious

What Hmm said
DanZ

Proving once again, with all your stolen pictures, that “rednecks” are among the smartest, most innovative and ingenious, people on Earth.

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