Sadly, some people die as virgins (19 photos)

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  • shockresistant

    my moneys on all of em dying virgins. or possibly interbreeding.

  • uberbrie

    I’m sorry but the Mario sweater vest is the exact reason that kid would be getting laid

    • Brandon

      And i’m pretty sure the hipster with the Gameboy bling would probably roofie a girl (or guy). So date rape counts, no?

    • Jonno

      Yeah, I’m with you on this one. If I was gay or a woman, I’d fuck anyone wearing a Mario sweater.

  • pheref

    not sure if he can pull it off… but that Mario sweater is awesome

  • P-90

    You don’t wan’t to mess with Toolverine.

  • chrisdg74

    Actually, there is NOTHING sad about these people not getting laid. That way they can not reproduce.

  • Anonymous

    What’s really sad is that one of these people is my boss. :( I tried pleading “Extreme Sexual Exhaustion” last Monday. She threw the BULLSHIT flag. :P Fuuuuuuuckkkkk.

  • Anonymous

    What’s really sad is that one of these people is my boss. :( I tried pleading extreme sexual exhaustion last Monday. She threw the “BULLSHIT I don’t give a fuck” (literally) flag. :P Fuuuuuuuckkkkk.

    And what’s sadder. I had to delete my actual name up there because I was stupid enough to introduce her to thechive…so now she cruises here too. DAMMMIT

    • Columbo

      I call bullshit ‘anonymous’.

      If it was the truth then I think you kinda blew your cover by stating that your boss is in one of those and you introduced her to theCHIVE…1 + 1 = You being her employee.

      Nice story though

      • HellHathNoFury

        Not necessarily. I told several friends about this site and now they e-stalk me when we can’t see each-other *cough, hack, Michael cough*

        • LOL

          I send all sorts of people links to this site. Various pictures that I think they’ll like. But do I tell one of them my screen name here?!? Hell no. As far as they know, I’m a lurker. :) And I like it that way.

          Anon…good job on the extreme sexual exhaustion. Your boss was just jealous. Glad ya have a hobby. :P

        • Michaellovesmissy

          um…i don’t know what you are talking about….can we discuss the TRO…i think 100 yards is excessive…dont you?…call me…okay?

  • Big Bob

    These might not all be virgins:

    Looks like the guitar guy is on his way to charming at least one girl. Super hero duo…they *might* be a couple? The computer setup – I don’t see WoW or Everquest on those screens – probably a guy that puts in some serious work hours so it’s possible he has a family.

    Everyone else in the series…you might want to piss off Andrew and order yourself a mail order bride if you want a chance at poon.

  • Regina

    LOL……BIG BOB is right…….there are the other feaks who are attracted to things like those…

    Yes…I have not made a name for them yet

  • Nick

    Some people will die as virgins… others will die as rapists.

  • Mattythegooch

    As long as they die.

  • HellHathNoFury

    LIES!! That capybara has probably had a few litters.

    • Michaellovesmissy

      she shoots…she scores!!!!!!!!!…….seriously….call me???

      • mook

        ……………seriously. fuck. you.

  • Joey

    Toby Maguire’s lookin pretty sharp in that Mario Bros sweater vest..

  • Brzooza

    well, its better to die as a virgin then die as a douchebag

    • Big Bob

      I dunno, most douchebags don’t realize they are douchebags in the first place, thinking they’re hot shit most of the time. So they have this “I’m cool” attitude and do get the chicks (not ladies or real women but “chicks”). So really, would it be better to die as a virgin or as a guy who, in his own mind, has the perfect life?

  • ladyguitarstar

    i want that sweater.

  • nate

    It does not matter how you look, as long as you can sing and play guitar, you WILL get laid. Despite the bad hair, no way #3 dies a virgin. I am assuming, of course, that he knows more chords than Am.

  • Gonz

    Big Bob FTW especially with the andrew comment lol

  • Ken

    Why do I imagine the guitar kid singing, “Fly away lesbian seagull…” ? (Lame “Beavis and Butthead Do America” reference)

  • dino goposaur

    #6 – a couple of Orly Taitz’ satisfied customers

  • garp

    …if Jose pulls off that bottle riding trick he is totally getting laid by someone

  • HellHathAHairyBum

    The guy with the guitar is so getting laid after that.
    The woman wants him so bad

  • Paul Tingle

    dat is well mint man

  • Joe

    Aidetic Tobey Maguire now is toolverine?

  • TraderDan

    The one with the computer screen has to be a stock trader. That’s what I do, and I have 4 monitors hooked up to 2 computers, could use more…. But just bought a new Subaru WRX, and I have money, and get laid….
    Of course, it all depends on how he looks…. we don’t see him in the pic…could be scary ugly

  • RiderFan

    Are you under the impression that being a virgin is bad and that having sex automatically makes one an adult? If so then you are full of more shit than a Beijing sewer. Losing your virginity does not make you any more of a human being than before. It certainly does not make one an adult since there are people who have sex and are extremely childish.

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