Funny divorce letter to ex-wife : theCHIVE

March 8, 2010 | In: Funny

Huh

Its pretty pathetic… its she that broke with him… he got the restraining order… and last – if he really banged all this women he wouldn't give a shit about her anymore but he took the time to write all this. Obviously he is mad for being left.

Dom

I’m really really really hoping this isn’t fake. This is priceless if it is not.
Dingo

A. full of win
B. i want to be that awesome one day
C. FIRST

Warped

I love it when you idiots call first and FAIL! Serves you right.
patton303

Ya… I quite enjoy the whole “I’m first” fail thing.
When people say, “first”, I picture them flipping back and forth between internet porn and Chive anticipating a new Chive post so they can be “first”. Ashtray full of cigarettes and some stale pizza rolls flanking the loser. When they’re not and think they are, it’s exquisite.

Dom

Sorry dingoberry. you’re not
Regina

HOLY SHIT!!!

is he serious?..I mean…really……….WTF!!!???
LOL

LMMMMMMMMMMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Yes…um…Connie…where is the remote?!?
ssss9999

Lame. Probably made up!
P-90

Legendary swordsman.
manolo

real or not this is a smart move asking for a divorce!
ChrisDG74

That has to be one of the most awesome things I have ever seen(even if it’s fake).
Eduardo

@Huh: No shit, Sherlock.
dt520

that just kept getting better and better
Alan

I thought it might be true until I read the part about her sister. I know stuff like that happens but in this case I don’t believe it. I want to believe it, just don’t
C4vemanlawyer

Older than the internet
Dreamy

Connie, give it another try!
And if you can’t get yourself to give him another chance, at least send an equally awesome letter!

awesome – 1 for being fake
Skeeziks

FLAWLESS VICTORY!
HellHathNoFury

*unbridled bitterness* Thanks for reinforcing my knowledge that every woman you thought you could trust is just waiting to fuck ‘your’* man behind your back, and that ‘your’* man doesn’;t give a shit about anything save for slutty ass.
*’your’ since no man belongs to you. any man that is, in fact, a man and not a guy will be honest and break it off before he fucks everything under the sun.

HellHathNoFury

BALETED
nelly02

I am now very confused. reckon it’s fake anyhoo.
bodombeats

Im not quite sure exactly what you just said but i must say you are quite hot miss HHNF

Socrates

@Skeeziks: LMAO!
ass party

Hmmm… cinnamon rings iced with throat yogurt. That beats a Portuguese breakfast.
Anonymous

this is pretty good. i wish i could get a copy of that and send it to my ex
CudiZonin

thats just plain fucking epic
ron

LOL…. yep, cinnamon rings and throat yogurt. Funny stuff right there.
DaddyD

Well, the Friendswood ZIP is real, but the zip on the return address is in California, not Houston. And both addresses are obviously typed or printed, so it sounds like a joke to me.
Matt

haha holy shit. Sucks for Connie.
jb

NO guys hand writing is as perfect as the adress on the envelope. there’s no way a guy wrote there. It looks too perfect to even be hand written??