• owne

    dude, that was awesome

    • travis aube

      chive on

  • Anonymous


    • ChrisDG74


    • Waspo

      Do you go from site to site waiting for new posts so you can attempt and fail at being first? Do you fap off to the idea that you could possibly, on a chance, be first? Do you go to bed at night thinking to yourself “wow, people must love me because I am first. Tomorrow when I go to Wal-mart/Tesco/Asda etc etc hot girls will come up to me and start licking my ear lobes. Being first has that Lynx affect”.

      The answer to the above is probably “no” but I must say that you and your sorts give me a vast amount of pleasure providing such responses like this one.

      Why not start looking in the dictionary for a new word. Try the ‘F’ section first.

      • TheGuy

        do you know how to freak out over pointless things. I think so.

  • donnyrkj

    as a high priced ticket payer…that is full of WIN!!! and THIRDS :p

  • northerner


  • jeff in Australia

    Gotta love a pissed off Aussie male…
    We have unmarked speed camera cars that take pics of speeders # plates, you then get a fine sent through the post, along with a copy of the pic..
    A few years back, a speed camera car was parked up waiting for law breakers, a bunch of bored teens, parked nearby, one got out and walked to the cc, and asked the driver what he was doing there. Meanwhile his mates sneaked up to the cc and removed the rear # plate. Teens drove off.
    Round the corner they affixed the cc s # plate to their own car and drove at speed, several times pass the cc, which automatically took a picture of it’s own # plate….

    • HellHathNoFury

      Mad genius. We have magical boxes next to intersections that take pics of ‘red-lighters’. That’s great, save for when you’ve stopped in waiting for a free right-turn, put your car in park, read ‘War and Peace’, taken a nap, played a game of chess with the hobo on the corner, and then finally taken your free right turn seeing as your light hasn’t changed since before your work shift started, and the magic box takes a pic of you mid-turn, blinding you while picking your nose or whatever attractive thing you’re doing when they show the image to you in court.
      ‘But I stopped, it shows me at full-stop and mid-snore in the 6 second video.’
      ‘Don’t talk reason to authority, you’re crossing the line there, Miss.’
      I’ve had my pic taken in an intersection because a guy in a truck broadsided me when HE ran the red light. The vid showed the moment of impact and everything, and they still dragged me to court for not stopping when I saw him speeding towards the intersection. Yup, they are THAT ridiculous.

      • jeff in Australia

        We have red light camera’s too, only ours are just snaps…

        • HellHathNoFury

          Hey, look! A ‘reply’ button! Just like the one on the lower left-hand of your emails….
          sorry, had to spit that out, tasted bitter.

          • jeff in Australia

            Impatience is a curse from the gods…
            Is it possible you have 2 and have only checked one..?
            Sleep, contemplation, wording, humor, all need time to mix together, to make a tasty snack..
            Last attempt..

      • I ain't telling 'ya nuttin'

        If you drive through a red light camera and have your sun visor down, 99% of the time they will be unable to see your face. In order to issue the ticket, the driver’s face and license plate need to be clearly visible. Otherwise, you could say “That’s not me!” Now, I’m not saying this is legal or anything, nor do I advocate breaking the law. I’m just saying….

      • billthewelder

        The red light camera’s we have in Virginia Beach take a still frame, I’ve often seen one near my place of work take pic(s) of a car that stops suddenly at an intersection then take another shot 2 seconds later. There have been times where I’ve seen the camera’s shoot a pic when a leaf or a bird went past it and at other times where nothing was present at all that could have triggered it..

        BTW HHNF anymore beaver shots coming around on your next set of chive pics?

        • HellHathNoFury

          I’m not hot anymore *wasn’t traditionally ‘hot’ to begin with, you dunno what you’ve got til it’s gone and all that*
          Burned my face at work a few weeks back. I won’t inflict my face upon anyone undeserving.

      • ladyguitarstar

        LOL! I want to know if you write a blog, and then subscribe to it. Holla back at ya girl. 😛 seriously though, youre always entertaining. Ive been away from the chive for the past couple of weeks or so, due to hospitalization and all that comes with that. (back is whack, basically im an old lady atm, with the walker and all. Its bad)

        • HellHathNoFury

          Damn, girl, I’m sorry you’re hurting. I have no myface of spacebook or that, for personal reasons, but I have a strange account at All kinds of horrible thoughts and such. Get better or else, love.

          • ladyguitarstar

            Awesome! i shall see you there. and thank you for the get well, hopefully ill be back to melting faces and shredding axes.

  • NSW Supremacist

    Nothing you could not expect from Victoria!

    • tom

      i got a bullshit ticket in melbourne because i was at st kilda beach and went to the ticket machine, but then was told that ticket machine was for the swimming pool next door and got fined

  • Matt

    woah this guy IS my hero!!

  • pookie


  • ChrisDG74

    This letter is so full of win.

  • pinsl


  • Equalizer

    $58 for a parking ticket! No thanks, I’ll rather take the cab

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  • dino goposaur

    Not that I condone vandalism re: redlight cameras but….

  • DavidZ

    It was good to have the ticket canceled by the police. If it was me, I would not have stopped there. I would have filed perjury charges against the issuing officer. Governments, and police, think they can do practically anything in the name of law and public safety. Indeed, they can do so until people revolt against the bullshit and hold them accountable. Obviously, in this case, the officer’s charge was completely fabricated. Being arrested and charged for perjury should be the penalty for lying about innocent civilians. Filing false criminal complaints should land police in jail!

  • C1

    Ticket Offense date: 11/03/2010
    Time Traveling Melbourne Man?

    • jeff in Australia

      We use … day – month – year.. not month – day – year as you lot do…
      Today is … 06. 04 10

      • Seawolf

        Agreed Jeff, we do it the right way, got to admit the yanks wouldn’t find 119 as emotive as 911 (their emergency number).

        • jeff in Australia

          Not meaning to be rude here.. But, I think they would/should/are, be emotive about the event rather than the date..
          You know what happens here when Bali is mentioned… 200…? their 9.11, (or 11.9)… 3000.?
          It’s also how many lives since that date, that keeps me awake at night..

      • P-90

        A do we in Britain, it seems like the logical way to go dosen’t it.

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  • tw

    One question? HOW can they issue a ticket in THE FUTURE?????

    This thing is dated 11/03/ 2010 !!

    • jeff in Australia

      Look up ^ about 5 comments ago.. same answer except the date here is now 07.04.2010

    • photoshopped

      And you have to pay the ticket two months before the ticket is issued. The due date is 9-04-10.

    • Rebecca

      Because in Australia, England, and many other places, the day of the month is listed before the month number so 11/03 is March 3, or 03/11 as we would list it in the U.S.

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  • buffet0

    All pigs are cowardly faggots!

  • Brandon

    This happens in Toronto too. My dad parked and got out of his car to pay and get the stub, and came back to find he had a parking ticket. Pretty fucking retarded. I can’t imagine being a meter maid and having a job where every single person in the world hates you and your very existence.

  • Alex

    Melbourne Council have a rather grotesque logo.

  • Daniel

    Um, AUSTRALIAN date stamp. And it's the COUNCIL that writes the tickets here.
    Well done on the sarcasm in the letter!

  • Always Last


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