The perfect cure for idiot hipsters (2 Photos)

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  • Furthy

    Why would you "run like fuck"? What is some little skinny, pussy hipster gonna do about it? I guess the advice to flee is intended to avoid legal hassles?

    • Flicka

      Yea… those trust fund kids have lethal council.

  • josh

    so now a hipster is anyone that does something that's not main stream?

    • C

      Uh yeah that’s kinda the definition.

      • Dadaboi

        at C: Are you saying that those who don’t go mainstream deserve to be shot? “Ooohh, I am a normal person; Oooohh, I am an office employee. Ooohh, I part my hair at the side. Oooohh, I wear polo shirts and khakis. Ooohhh, I follow everything society says.” Very lame, man.

        • Nateb123

          Dadaboi: You’re so one dimensional that paper Mario looks at you and thinks “Those are some shitty graphics”.

          • albatross

            Thumbs down, but only because Paper Mario… he’s 2-D.

            • cmn

              I don't think it is a main stream isssue. I mean, it sucks when people have to talk fake to each other i the business world, and tell non offensive corny jokes because someone might get offended. adults that pretend that they have to be offended by certain words and ideas are offensive. but so is looking like a clown. to advertise that you are "not mainstream" with crazy tats and stretched ear lobes is barely better than a nascar driver's coveralls. i mean, that person is promoting their indivdualality by looking like many other versions of others. in a sense they are conforming to another belief and wearing their version of a uniform. and just like the polo/kahki guys, there are some thinkers amd some followers. me? i wear button up shirts or polos and running pants and keep my hair short cuz i dont like spending a lot of time feathering or mohawking it. i am not trying to buy a personality, nor advertising one.

  • C

    I agree with Furthy, why run? The tight pants the losers wear would keep them from running at any speed. Plus they weigh like 8 lbs what's to be scared of?

    • donavansmith

      i wear skinny jeans,i weigh 150,and i got out the army in april.i was a sniper,i served in iraq. dont judge the skinny jeans brother,cause there may be a killer in them.

    • Flicka

      Because trust fund kids have good lawyers.

  • huh?

    What's the matter? Daddy didn't pay attention to you? You really think that makes you different? wearing all that stupid shit in your face and getting way too many tattoos…'re tough!! You guys/gals are shitheads..face the fact..and then grow the fuck up!

    • NoUse4aName

      So how do you really feel about this subject?

    • albatross

      whoa there, bro-dog! i don’t advocate hipsterism in any way shape or form, but really now? having tattoos means you’re an attention whore and you need to grow up? for some people, it’s just expression. and some of ’em can be really cool. there’s a fine line between expressing yourself and doing shit for hipster-aligned reasons.

    • Insert Name Here

      Seriously guy you need to shut the fuck up, youre just making yourself look like an ignorant fool.

    • Brittany

      “huh?” While it’s true that some people are idiots and get tattoos to be apart of some “scene”, a lot of others (including myself) Get them for simple purpose of having a piece of beautiful art with you for the rest of your life. Gain some knowledge before you speak. Your the one coming across as an ignorant fool with daddy issues.

    • Sam

      Hahaha so my friend and I made the chive! We're both tattoo'd and pierced to the nines and my ears are stretched to 5/8 of an inch people weren't calling us shitheads or telling us to grow up when we were on here! Get your head out of your ass and join the douchbag section! Late post but well deserved!

  • steven C.

    I lol’d, then I lol’d some more

  • paul

    The smile on my face has not yet been invented

    • Mustafa_Beer

      I think my smile was so big, I swallowed my ears!

  • franklin temple

    I have a couple friends who have these. Now every time I look at them I’ll be thinking about this.

  • Sizzle

    This is now at the top of my bucket list…

  • ken

    If you are going to do that, then at least padlock the ear to a chain connected to a mailbox, fire hydrant or truck bumper. Kinda like an “Animal House” type of deal.

    • albatross

      It’s a fuckin’ day-ruiner either way, bro. daaaamn. I’d laugh my ass off to see that happen.

  • damien

    this made my day

  • youself posed

    if i was the doctor on call when one of those walked in the ER, I’d have to leave the room to lol

  • SaintxXxAsh

    I like the guys with the small (maybe 8 gauge) piercings. It just gets weird the bigger they go.

  • Dadaboi

    haters gonna hate.

  • The Dude

    This would work great as they are sleeping. If you want to do something similar to your friends who do not have one of these things in their ears you can put a bike lock around their head when they are asleep. (has to be one of those u loop locks)

  • stafferty

    I already do something like this during the holidays with Christmas ornaments.

  • aosux

    I thought the perfect cure to a hipster was a good ol’ fashion ass woopin. Maybe just where I come from.

  • Anon

    The Game

  • zahatsee

    im so excited for a friend to pass out now !

  • Anonymous

    as if. they’d probably just like it and leave it there…

    • Dumbass

      Did you really say “as if.”?

      • Ryan White

        someone's stuck in the 90's

  • Bruno420

    I’ve got a ear stretcher (14mm) on the left ear (That’s not hipsters exclusivity, for Jebus sake).
    And i’ve been wearing my solid stretcher since the ocassion I got wasted and woke up “locked” to a coffee table.
    That sucks! Don’t do it.
    Unless the target is actually a hipster with the same “I deserve it” stupid look from the guy in the first pic. =D

    • SaintxXxAsh

      Or unless they’re wearing neoncolored skinny jeans, a scarf and Ray ban sunglasses. Then we just stab their face off.

      • Bruno420

        That’s an option.
        No more citric colored clothes.

  • ydw505

    and I thought they were holding dicks in there

  • How to deal with Hipsters « Silence As Sound

    […] How to deal with Hipsters put a padlock on hipsters ears theCHIVE. […]

  • KP

    I actually used to wear padlocks in my ears as weights when stretching them. It’s not uncommon for people who are trying to go up a few gauges to wear padlocks or other heavy items in their ears before they gauge to stretch out the tissue, so from my experience, they probably wouldn’t care….assuming they could find the key or had bolt cutters at home. Can’t tell you how many times I’ve had to use bolt cutters on friends that lost the key to their ear weights.

    • NoUse4aName

      So what happens when you get tired of wearing this? :S

      • Till

        I took mine out 3 years ago when I had a 7/8″ hole it is now about the size of a cigarette. I also knew a guy with 2″ holes that cut his earlobes off.

    • SaintxXxAsh

      That last sentence was just ridiculous.

    • HellHathNoFury

      Please stop breathing my air. This is why I hate going into shitty parts of Puyallup, Tacoma and Seattle. There is no reason for your gauges to look like Jenna Jameson’s vagina. If you have to put weights on them, it’s time to stop. You’re as awesome and individual as the other 5,000 guys in your city with a pill habit and gauges and 90’s Nirvana shirts. I have met only a handful of men and women with giant gauges that have good, honest jobs and don’t stand around talking about nothing but their ‘underground’ band and the drugs they used to do but still will if ya got some on ya. And the smell of the constantly stretching skin trying to heal can make me just about herf from 50 feet off.
      Funny that when people see photos in National Geographic of the East Indians and African villagers that gauge their lips and ears, it’s ‘sick’, but when you do it, it’s awesome.

  • Dexstar

    Ok so i am off to glastonbury festival on wedsday, taking 5 padlocks with me and im gonna be praying i can hide in a crowd

  • Insert Name Here

    Could have told everyone that you stole this from digg

    • ME

      they only say on the bottom of every fuckin page:
      theCHIVE uses photos that were found floating around the internet and are covered under Fair Use and are believed to belong in the public domain.

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