Daily Afternoon Randomness (35 Photos)

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  • tony

    For 31, I have to take the mom on the right. I think the girl on the left might be monster.

    • Randy

      The way I see it, that's a win-win-situation, you're pretty much guaranteed to get more than a goodnight kiss from either one 🙂

  • strapped4cash

    normally the chive ends posts with some hot chick. I like the changeup today b/c that story was kinda fucking awesome 🙂

    • Randy

      Agreed, that story was great! When I read it, I got this strange feeling in my tummy…

      Also, I peed a little.

      • Homesteader

        You do that when you get excited too don't you?

    • Matt

      It would be more awesome if he wasn't getting married at 22.

      • Player5150

        hahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

    • ericvdm

      dude, fuck that story. A: it's fake, shit like that doesn't happen, i know this because B: it's from a website called "My life is Average" (hence the MLIA at the end). People make stuff up on that site all the time just to get a post on there.
      Why put an outrageous story on a site that is made for average things when this is clearly not average.

      • http://www.facebook.com/MacheteJack Carl R. Evans

        Fuck off. It's cute. Being true isn't important, being cool is. And just because you're a jaded douche doesn't mean the rest of us are. That shit can totally happen.

  • yanush

    I'm just packing my pedobear costume and moving to Tybee Island. I'll be under arrest if anybody needs me.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=617461769 Kjell King

    #5 Grimace?

    • topher

      i thought grimace's sister

    • http://thechive.wordpress.com/ unfairrobot

      I did.

    • cheezebits

      Now that's a gunt!

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001225731219 HellHath NoFury

    7 doesn't help if you're doggy-stylin it.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001225731219 HellHath NoFury

      Disregard last.

      • admiralevident

        No….no disregard. I like creative problem solving.

      • Dave

        Naughty, HHNF! You bad girl! (I like your imagination!)

      • Furthy

        That comment really creeped me out….I scrolled back up to see which pic you were referring to. I mistook #6 for #7.

    • Ballzonya

      I was thinking the same…you beat me to it!

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1158588450 Jason Brinton

      Spoken like someone with experience…

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001225731219 HellHath NoFury

        *weegly eyebrows*

    • http://www.facebook.com/beau87 Beau Young

      *had the same thought, and is not ashamed*

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001225731219 HellHath NoFury

        You really need to stop letting me influence you.

        • http://www.facebook.com/beau87 Beau Young

          If you thought of it, I had already thought of it, too – before I ever got down to the comment section, lol.

    • d7fge6gf

      why don't shut up already?

      • Homesteader

        Why don't fragment you?

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001225731219 HellHath NoFury

        Why don't you stop screwing your best friend's roommate while your man pays you to feed your face and then anonymously hating on me on a website like a passive-aggressive little bitch?
        Act like you don't know what I'm talking about. These posts coincide perfectly with every whiny email you send me and only started when I told your man that you're a whore. Own up, grow up. If you don't like the truth about yourself, change.

        • http://www.facebook.com/beau87 Beau Young

          LMAO, the term epic pwnage has never been more appropriate.

          • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001225731219 HellHath NoFury

            Sorry bout that, Beau. I told you, and you listened too late.

    • P-90

      Bad girl, go to my room.

    • Daemian

      Damn… I'm pretty new to theCHIVE and I'm pretty sure that I love you… a beautiful mind and can shut down an asshole hater like nobody's business!

      • http://www.facebook.com/beau87 Beau Young

        Yeah, I'd say that's a fair assumption. Given the chance, she'll prove you right.

  • BigDingo

    35 makes me feel better about life

    actually so does 34

    • Luce

      2 little kids, swinging, makes you feel better about life?

      are you pedobear?

      • BigDingo

        Pure joy makes me feel better about life… people like you make me feel worse

  • nemesis

    #35 is directly out of the AWESOME sitcom SPACED.

  • Prince of tides

    fuck you, chivers, these photos are terrible fisting and all that you people should be all ashamed of yourselves. go to church

    • thomas

      but fisting is awesome?

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001225731219 HellHath NoFury

      I went to church, but was met by some hypocrite named Prince who cussed at me and visited websites where fisting was made fun of.

      • ronin

        "I went to church, but was met by some hypocrite named Prince who cussed at me and visited websites where fisting was made fun of. "

        Prince as in Purple Rain? HHNF= ex-JW?

        • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001225731219 HellHath NoFury

          Username of poster, bro.

    • hamster huey

      get an education

    • Ballzonya

      In all my years growing up in catholic school, I don't think anyone ever said fisting was a sin…

    • chrisdg74

      Get fisted against your will last night?

    • MiPo_TheGoaT

      I fist in church….And i have hands like lunchboxes

    • RiHugh

      "Fuck you" and "go to church" thats called juxtaposed.

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001225731219 HellHath NoFury

        Especially if you're in a Catholic church.

    • McBeastie

      Yeah, go to church…because you're completely safe from being fisted there. Unless you're an alter boy.

    • Mistabishi

      Are you fucking serious grow a sense of humor, or pray for one in your situation

    • ace

      well trolled, sir

      • https://www.facebook.com/scotty.mcdowell.9 Scotty McDowell

        indeed. i love being a spectator in a trolling situation.

    • Grey

      I don't go to Church any more b/c the holy water burns!.
      Actually, I lie, the only reason I go to church any more is to burn it down. So, there is that.

      Still…fuck holy water.

    • Kev C

      Can I go to your church and tell your people to fuck and go to the chive?

    • huskerzfan4life

      Fuck You princeoftides, you dont sound like a christian to me

  • P-90

    #23 It's for Scotsmen.

    • tommybhoy

      Protestant Scots done that….want everyone to accept marching in there wee bands but when its our day they want to moan…..wankers!

      • fasterthanu

        orange walk don't wear kilts

    • fasterthanu

      how many balloons you sell today?

      ya fuckin' clown

  • Ralk

    34 – Hello!!!! Now make me a sandwich….

  • H^S

    #2 No wonder I always wanted to ride Victoria Beckham. /cheeky

  • pufffdragon

    #35 must be some nerds fantasy.

    • yourmom@myhouse

      35 is totally some fat geek slob with greasy nasty hair wishing he met a girl that was even a 1.

  • Son of Dad

    Is #29 scared or REALLY hungry?

  • bob in accounting

    I need me some 33's

  • http://www.twitter.com/justin_speedo NTFW

    awesome story dude, congrats 🙂

    sounds like a story similar to UP lol.. dunno, too cute

    • biz

      Too bad it ends in a tragedy… getting married at 22.

  • chrisdg74

    31 – I choose C: none of the above.

  • Winston Sanders

    31 has totally got the same eyes as that egyptian dude from Stargate (the original with Kurt Russel – not the Macgyver one)

    • its_forge

      HA!! It's totally a Goa'uld, you nailed it.

  • Yourfreakindaddy

    What face?

  • http://asshole.com ASShole

    LOL @ 21 – looks like the ginger on the right got knocked up by a darker gentleman. She doesn't have a ring. Good luck to her being a single mom forever.

    as for 35 – I call bullshit. That is seriously bullshit.

    • ericvdm

      yes it is bullshit. its from mylifeisaverage.com
      dude, go to it. that site is full of bullshit

  • http://www.facebook.com/beau87 Beau Young

    #35 Sounds wonderful. It's too bad most people will never put themselves out there like that and get the response they're looking for.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001225731219 HellHath NoFury

      Stop answering your phone while you're robbing banks.

  • its_forge

    19) Also, nothing says FRICKIN' OOF!!! quite like fisting
    21) Three pencils, some pizza dough and a midget.
    22) K'reck me if I am wrong but isn't that called paella? It looks yummy as hell.
    32) I wanna build a temple on that boardwalk and bring devotees who will worship the work of art that is that tiny divine little bottom
    34) Badass or just y'know, on his way home from school = )

    • Homesteader

      ….what woman says "OOF" when fisted???

      ooooh…. Person?

  • Randy

    Stargate – Budget + MacGuyver = SG1

    • its_forge

      + MacGyver = + awesomeness

      To say nothing of Amanda Tapping ::sigh::

      • HeartUnderTheRose

        SG-1 was awesome (until they brought on the new cast)! Only scifi show I actually watched. Sucks RDA had to leave, because after that, the show went down hill.

        • its_forge

          Yeah, you could tell he was tired of it though, and he turned 60 this year so that's probably enough of that acting thing for him. Dude looks WAY too good for sixty dammit. I still enjoyed the show rather a lot right up to the end; I definitely thought Browder and Black were great additions. And naturally the Moron Sci Fi Channel canceled the show halfway through the second to last season; they had already planned to have a nice long arc wrapping up everything and putting away all the characters with happy endings but nope, can't have that now can we. Assholes.

          • P-90

            He also badly injured his one of his knees (I think) so he couldn't do all the running about needed.

        • P-90

          SG-1 and Atlantis were two of my favourites, I was really annoyed when they ended.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001225207844 Cristi Palincas

    #35 – this story is old. I don't know if it's fake or not, but it's been almost a year since it showed up on the net. So… they're already divorced? 😉

    Joking aside, that's a great way to meet, and I truly hope that they've had, and will have, a wonderful time together.

    Story on MLIA, along with a gazillion comments that I didn't bother to read: http://mylifeisaverage.com/s/409321

  • petwookiee

    #7 – I'm pretty sure I can still make it work if her knees are touching… just sayin'

  • bubblerider86

    8- I knew i loved winnie the pooh! Major childhood FAIL…..o.0
    30- James Franco owned in Pineapple Express!
    33- Amazeballs, must get one!
    34- Mowgli?? Is that you :p
    35- Majorly cool…..I would love that!!!! ❤

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