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133 Comments and counting. I have to say I did this Facebook post for fun, but after seeing the hilarious quotes I thought your work deserved the spotlight. Thanks again.
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This made my day BTW.
"Groovy"
I'm too old for this shit!
"Can I buy any of you cunts a drink?"
-shaun of the dead
We see you've been missing a lot of work lately…
Well, I can't say I've been 'missing' it, Bob.
The Fight Club line, "I haven't been fucked like that since grade school" always makes me laugh!!! But I would have added, "If I had a tumor, I'd name it Marla…"
"Take em outta my sky!"
The Final Countdown
All train compartments smell vaguely of shit. It gets so you don't mind it. That's the worst thing that I can confess. You know how long it took me to get there? A long time. When you die you're going to regret the things you don't do. You think you're queer? I'm going to tell you something: we're all queer. You think you're a thief? So what? You get befuddled by a middle-class morality? Get shut of it. Shut it out. You cheat on your wife? You did it, live with it. You fuck little girls, so be it. There's an absolute morality? Maybe. And then what? If you think there is, go ahead, be that thing. Bad people go to hell? I don't think so. If you think that, act that way. A hell exists on earth? Yes. I won't live in it. That's me.
[pause]
You ever take a dump made you feel like you'd just slept for twelve hours?
Glengarry Glen Ross
Why can't I find The Chive on Facebook anymore?
Raging Bull adn SNL combo.
Jake La Motta: Did you Chive my wife?
Joey LaMotta: What?
Jake La Motta: Did you Chive my wife?
Joey LaMotta: How do you ask me that? I'm your brother and you ask me that? Where do you get you're Chive’s big enough to ask me that?
Jake La Motta: I'm gonna ask you again, did you or didn't you? Just answer the question.
Joey LaMotta: I'm not gonna answer that. It's stupid. It's a sick question and you're a sick Chive and I'm not that sick that I'm gonna answer it. I'm leaving, If Nora calls tell her I went home. You know what you should do? Do a little more Chiving and a little less eating, so you don't have to blame it all on me and everybody else, you understand me? You're cracking up! Ya' Chiving screw ball ya'!
Welcome to the World of Entertainment! ChiveWorld…that is…
'the dude abides'
or
Mr. French: What are you drinkin'?
Billy Costigan: A cranberry juice.
Mr. French: What is it, your period?
Nothing at all from Army of Darkness? I'm more than a little dissapointed.
TLDNR
Ok, DAYM! Thats was a great friggin post guys. There were so many BUT the animal house one ( to me ) is the best!
We came. We saw. We kicked its ass. – Bill Murray as Peter Venkman in Ghostbusters
"Are you ready to get shitfaced and grab some titties?!"
or
"I got drunk and ended the night sprinting across the hotel lobby, uncontrollably shitting my pants. Ha-ha. No, really, I crapped all over the lobby."
- Tucker Max, I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell
I feel very confident in saying the aristocrats one pretty much sums it all up XD
"He who controls the Chive, controls the Universe."
!S!WCRTESTTEXTAREA000003!E!
OMG, I believe #11 is a girl named Olga, she autaclly owns one of the dating agencies in Odessa Oblast. I may have dated a few Ukranian girls over the last few years
Last!!!
I'm just now seein this so I don't know how old it is…but I can't believe I didn't see this one up there…It's a BFM classic…"IT'S IN THE HOLE!!!!"
i still think it should be "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good."