Contest: If theCHIVE had a mascot, what would it look like? (2 Photos)

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Today at the office, we all got drunk earlier than usual and a debate began: If theCHIVE had a mascot, what would it look like? We took to the dry-erase board and drunkenly sketched out some ideas. I can't draw, Leo is usually pretty good but he's off his game today, and Bob... well Bob just threw up.
We got to thinking, who better to help us out with this than our users? So, Chivers, we put it to you to design the mascot. It can be anything you want, you can use elements of our logo but it's not a requirement at all. Just create whatever you like and upload the image using our handy-dandy upload page.

The Winner: We just ordered 'Chiver of the Month' plaques for the office. The winner will have his face (and his mascot) enshrined on the Chive office wall forever, basically you'd become immortal. We look forward to what you come up with. If we receive enough submissions, we'll put the mascots to a vote this Thursday and let the Chivers decide the immortal champion.

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  • Tommy Guns

    Bulleit Bourbon ftw!

    • Diggler

      Bulleit is one of my favorite bourbons. Woodford -> Bulleit -> Basil Haydens -> Maker's… yada yada yada, I'm really tired today.

      • Alex McGlone

        No Kentucky Gentleman?


        • HellHath NoFury

          There are no gentlemen in Kentucky.

  • thomas

    A buddy of mine is friends with the chive dudes. He describes them as 'unreasonably funny drunks'

    • john

      Yep, I'm Bob and Rick's brother, and a cousin to everybody but Liam (who is also a funny as hell) and I can tell you from experiance that they are gooffy ass drunks, seems to run in the family.

  • dorian

    i see the Facebook wall is going up

  • The Real D. Nozzle


  • jenny

    I'm in and i'm going to win. Do we get to choose the photo? (sorry dumb question). Mine will be just a hand bra

  • zym

    I don't think Pedobear is copyrighted. Use that.

    • TheHolyToast

      lol, i was gonna say pedobear, but have him with a green halo to resemble a chive

  • HellHath NoFury

    *yay for worst ideas ever*
    It needs to be a chive with Kim Kardashian's curves. The bulb on the bottom can be the hips and rumpus, and the tube will he hourglass-shaped. Sexy and Chivey. Never said it was a good plan, did I?

    • Broadbem

      Sorry but i have to agree with you… WORST IDEA EVER!

      • HellHath NoFury

        And yours is better?

  • Anonymous

    I would say it's The Most Interesting Man in The World meets Chuck Norris meets Pedo Bear meets Miracle Bra meets Captain Morgan with a twist of Tony The Tiger.

    • Anonymous

      Or… actually, strike Pedobear from the last post, that was uncalled for. It should be the Old Spice Guy on a horse, made out of bacon, slaying duckface with a light-saber like spear, while the The Most Interesting Man in The World looks on from the skies, with a god-like glance, and Crown Royal pours from the sky, amid a hailstorm of breasts.

      • jamie

        epic !

        • alberto

          that is grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreat!!

      • ryan white

        hahahah yes…. yes

  • Dakota

    somebody draw a russian mail order bride with shit exploding in the background

    • giggidy goo

      dumbest idea ever

      • Dakota

        sums up the chive ;)

      • Diana Santos

        at least she had an idea..and you don't :p

        • giggidy goo

          haters gonna hate

          • Dakota

            daters gonna date

  • stafferty

    C"mon people, lets be creative and not run off a list of memes. Let's at least try to come up with something original.

    • Anonymous

      … says the guy with the most unoriginal comment.

    • stafferty

      I'm actually thinking a superhero. Chive Symbol on chest with a green TMNT style bandanna for the nostalgia posts. The utility belt full of beer cans and has the Zelda style Mater Sword on his back (Changed slighty to avoid lawsuit.)

      His Love interest is a Russian Mail order brideKnown as Svetlana, who obviously has "Lower Back Problems" and arch nemisis is known simply as "Duck-Face"

      I'll try sketching somethin up tonight

      • stafferty

        Sorry guys, wanted to sketch it up but then remembered I'm not really a reat artist when after I follow Bob's lead with the Bulleit. Someone with a lower B.A.C. or more artistic talent is free to take my idea and run with it. I'm getting a burrito.

        Also, freinds don't let freinds post drunk.

        • Anonymous

          No one cares.

  • equalizermax

    What a crappy price you're giving for the winner.

    I'm going to browse at Kuvat .com for a while.

  • Mcardle

    Leslie nielsen

    • Anonymous

      Too soon.

      • DaddyD

        Only if you're gay.

      • Mcardle

        NO this site should become a shrine to the great man.

  • Broadbem

    I would say your logo is fine….. Don't try to be Reddit…. Everyone knows your logo and the faces of theChive…

  • Kenneth McAbee

    The Pokemon Farfetch'd. It's a duck (duckface reference). Holding a chive. Win. Google it.

  • Ben

    Thats a hell of a plaque you got there

  • mattythegooch

    Can I just sit here and sniff the green Sharpie???

  • St.Christopher


  • Anonymous

    I remembered that chives were a type of onion. Too bad they have the magazine called the onion. I like boobs though. So two onions resembling boobs.

  • t-rex

    I thought that green circle was the mascot, like a chive on a baked potato.

  • SweetAwesomeness

    draw a sweet badass flying panther with lasers for eyes and nunchucks for arms…and if possible add him wearing a velvet hugh hefner robe and smoking a pipe…..


  • Boscoe

    I think it should be a little green dude with a question mark for a head.

    Did I win?

  • drbeene

    I humbly submit the following:

    Admit it.

    • SweetAwesomeness

      dude…your gay…sucking up to another site…….yet your here…..looking at what you can supposedly find somewhere else…no one cares so fuck off

  • emily

    I dont think the website needs one but i hope its nothing dumb or show off like

  • BloodScrubber

    A shot of my chihuahua with a theChive logo hanging from her collar would suffice I think.

  • beretta


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