The 10 Dumbest Reviews of Classic Movies (10 Photos)

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  • BigDingo

    Who knows, maybe Avatar: the Last Airbender will retrospectively be remembered as a masterpiece…

    • Your Mom's Dog

      Wait…Avatar or The Last Airbender? Because, you know, they are two different movies that coincidentally, sucked balls.

      (Yes, I know that the cartoon is called Avatar: The Last Airbender. It's called sarcasm)

  • llama beans

    No one has ever erected a statue to a critic

  • top dog

    #4 and #5, Classics, real classics. I have Casablanca by the way, in black and white, on DVD, unopened.

  • Kendall Scarberry

    this is just more proof that critics really dont know what they are talking about half the time. So many movies that we now consider classics or great were dumped on by them.

    • fejjj

      yeah……or most people just have shitty taste………

  • Darius ThePos

    Bottom line is that 90% of movies suck. End of story. There are some serious classics out there, not going to name them becasue someone on the internets might think "back to the future 3" should be on the imaginary list , it won't be though. anyways, a movie critic is simply an a$$hole who for whatever reason is unable to create, therefore spends time destroying or riding on anothers coat tails. Some may be correct in their reviews of movies, like Pluto Nash, however, at the end of the day, when you see a movie it because someone showed you nothing but awesome in the trailer and when you get the whole picture, you may end up being dissapointed. Much like marriage, but if you ask for a refund you will be paying for it the rest of your life.

    • nemesis

      Wow. You are one bitter mother-fucker. Get over yourself.

  • Ronin

    I love Shawshank, it's my favorite movie. Although the critic maybe right about the ending. I never thought much about the ending perhaps it was a bit weak. The parts i enjoyed were the "adventures" throughout prison. Perhaps the movie should have ended when Red found the money by the tree.

    • nemesis

      I thought the ending was what set it apart. It could've easily bowed to the common theme of directors or producers or writers to leave a story open-ended with so-called "mystery" or have a bittersweet ending where someone dies valiantly but frankly, fuck that. The fact that it is a happy ending is what brings the whole movie to a satisfying close. Anything else would've made it a lesser movie.

  • drea

    well that was a waste of reading….i was waiting for a laugh but…

  • drea

    but if you dont like shawshank or the shinning, GTFO!

  • Morgan Freeman

    #10 And that was the longest night of Andy's life.

  • Locode

    Shawshank is one of the most overrated movies of all time.

    All these reviews are good reviews. Show me a movie that every single reviewer agrees on and I guarantee you it's not a good movie.

    • The Real D. Nozzle

      Agreed(ignore the 'thumbs down', they're just a bunch of overly self-important critics who don't even get paid for it, so they're opinion is literally worthless).

  • Paul Musselman

    Once again this proves that critics are paid for opinions… and sometimes their opinions are just plain wrong.

  • ridude

    How you gonna hate on the Shank?????

  • gremblin

    vincent canby had two of these. solid work.

  • Parrish

    #6 My favorite Christmas movie!

  • evazen

    #2 and it's predecessor are the best movies I've ever seen. Period. Godfather Part 2 added to the plot, fleshed out an amazing character, and both showed what a real gangster is like.
    I guess we can hope these critics got offers they couldn't refuse….

  • gimletmike

    Here is the secret to reading reviews – movie, book, music, etc – find a reviewer whose taste is similar to yours, one with whom you usually agree and view his/her review as coming from a friend. You will still disagree with him/her sometimes, but it may help you to avoid wasting money on movies, books, music, etc. that you can't stand. Ignore all other reviews. You will never agree, nor disagree, with all critics.

  • Dan

    #6 is the only one I agree with . I don't see why that movie is so well liked. All the other reviews are incredibly wrong.

  • Taylor Blissett

    Dear Chive

    Please do a feature on Armond White. Most movie critics consider him a troll.

    Here are some juicy Armond White quotes:

    " Christopher Nolan doesn’t have a born filmmaker’s natural gift for detail, composition and movement, he’s definitely a born con artist. Inception should have been called Self-Deception. Michael Bay understands pop culture plenitude better than anyone. He’s a real visionary "

    " Jonah Hex is the best movie to open this week, easily overshadowing Toy Story 3. The Neveldine & Taylor screenplay is easier better than Toy Story 3 "

    "The Social Network is no Soul Man"

    "District 9 represents the sloppiest and dopiest pop cinema—the kind that comes from a second-rate film culture. No surprise, this South African fantasia from director Neill Blomkamp was produced by the intellectually juvenile New Zealander Peter Jackson."

  • The Spicy Italian

    have any of these critics been able to find jobs since then?

  • Greg

    The Shining and Shawshank are both Stephen King adaptations.
    One horrible…one great…

  • Dan Hewett

    and then critics wonder why the general populace couldn't care less about their opinions…

  • Rhino

    Back in the good 'ol days, blasphemy would get you publicly burned.

  • Keith Stanley


  • greedotalkstomuch

    Just because a movie is crappy doesn't mean you can't enjoy it. Also, just because you like a movie doesn't mean it's good. Shawshank Redemption is alright, but the critic pretty much nailed it on the head. He didn't say the movie was a piece of shit, he just pointed out the flaws which is what a critic does. He's not doing a book report, he's telling what he thinks about it. I agree, the sentimentality of it is why I can barely watch it anymore. The story is entertaining, but the presentation is too shmaltzy for my tastes. One of those "there's nothing else on" movies.

    • Average Chiver


  • Spocker

    One nitpick – "Big" came out in 1988, not 1985. I'll assume this is a typo by the Chive submitter. Great movie, BTW.

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