Lets pop the cork on this week with some “Awesome” (31 Photos)

  • http://www.clockbog.com/ denzino

    #31 idk, it might be shopped

    • subeeJ

      Yeah, by the look of him I doubt that dude has even heard of Subway let alone like it enough to get a tattoo of it. It must be shopped.

    • RGH

      They're sponsors. You can't buy a body like that without sponsors and years of training.

    • http://www.facebook.com/can.oktem Can Öktem

      It is shopped. I've seen the original.

      • http://www.facebook.com/JustinVincentHall Justin Hall

        Get outta town. Shopped? If I haven't seen the original I don't think I can believe that.

    • eroon

      You know it's shopped cos you know this guy hasn't ever set foot in a subway…

    • The Real D. Nozzle


    • DoctorOctavius

      Subway should not be on there, it contradicts jared logic.

    • andy d.

      It is shopped. I saw this pic in the documentary Zeitgeist. Zero tattoos!!!

  • allan

    #26 Burn baby Burn! hahaha
    #27 FTW

    • Jules

      On #26 I was half expecting it to say " You are doomed to burn for eternity for posting your picture on a site called after an onion!" Lol ;p

  • Chvr

    Anyone know what #26 is about?

    • That Guy

      Fuck Reading

    • Srw

      She's getting a divorce…..the church isn't happy

      • Poopslikelittlebunny

        is THAT what the hell they're talking about. Holy shit wonder what her husband told the church she'd been up to? whore

    • A BiPolar Guy

      regardless of the unnamed issues, though most churches don't do it it is quite consistent with he new testament teaching. It does not mean the same as "shunning" practiced by amish (i think) and not exactly the same as excommunication by the catholic church (but similar). S/he could possibly still attend the church and be treated as well and anyone else not a member. They appear genuinely concerned for her welfare, not wishing her any harm nor ill-will.

      • Jen

        i think its a letter to a dude, shunning him for taking it in the butt.

      • Mr. Wilson

        Thanks for clearing that up, "A BilPolar Guy"….

      • Red

        I guess we shouldn't be surprised at all of the thumbs down. But here's one person that agrees with you. It's a shame that so many people mock Christian values without actually listening to what's being said.

        • dur

          It's a shame so many people are a part of the Christian Church without listening to whats being said… or thinking in general for that matter.

      • jay22

        One thing I've realized on the net… ppl hate christians. This is a true statement yet gets thumbs down… I guarantee it's because of the "genuinely concerned" sentence. No one wants to believe christians can be nice or caring in anyway possible. We all hate gay's, want to criticize peoples lifestyle, etc etc when if u actually looked at the teachings, its the most tolerant religion on earth… I'm talking New Testament people. Everyone always quotes old… Isn't that the Jewish Torah?

        • Haezeus

          The internet is full of whatever is the 21st century version of that backwater hick they always interview on the news when something's happened.

          News: "What do you think of Obamacare?"
          "I do done think that he's a muslin, and needs to head back to africa where he'sa from."

          Internet: "He a handful of Christians did something cringeworthy."
          "Christians are dumb and stupid and there isn't any God because science says that Christians hate gays and music."

    • Lylah

      It's about premarital sex, in the end they say that she should be presenting herself to the church as a "pure bride"

      • Tyler

        The "pure bride" is referring to the Church itself. The Bible states that the Church is the bride of Christ. They are saying that unless he/she repents they would excommunicate him/her from the Church in order to keep it pure (a pure bride) for God.

    • Bibelthompar

      Funny the 1 Cor 5 bit is about sleeping with their father's wife….
      Gal 6:1 is about dealing with the sinner gently. I wonder if they even read what they were quoting or just counting on the person not looking up those verses.

      • Ryan

        Pretty sure that's a Mormon letter.

        • JBintheNC

          Obviously not since it says "Elders of the Village Church" at the bottom.

    • Ken

      Sure, another example of people trying to speak for God and playing God instead of loving God.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=669440656 Steve Shaw

      Wow. Organized religion is stupid.

      • PabloD

        Yes, yes

      • FlyingSpaghetti

        Any religion that disrespects others/other religions for that matter.

    • John S

      Jesus Christ cant they just say it in Fucking English. Close your legs, stop fuckin other dudes or whatever the hell she did. Its pretty bad when you cant even understand what your getting shit for…. Wait I just got a letter from my church….. Oh shit Ive been kicked out for Fapping to The Chive sorry guy I have to run and repent……

    • Haezeus

      Matthew 18:15-18 is Jesus telling the church to treat unrepentant sinners like tax collectors, people with whom he regularly ate and had preached to. He even defended doing this on multiple occasions. So, the church that wrote this totally doesn't understand that it's not cool to shun. Church is for sinners, not saints. It says so in the by-laws.

      1 Corinthians 5 is about someone who was fucking his mom. Paul, the guy who wrote it, was pretty much saying, "Don't fuck you moms, guys. Geeze, it's against the law, anyway. Give him over to the police to take care of that shit."

      This church has no clue what it's talking about. You're never supposed to expel people from the church. You also don't write letters. If you've got a problem with someone, you go to their house and say it to their face. You don't puss around it like this.

      • jack

        1 Corinthians 5 said a man had his father's wife. Not necessarily his mom with polygamy being big back then it most likely means one of his dad's wives.

    • PantsOnTheFloor

      I think it's up there b/c someone spent time blacking out the name of the church throughout the letter…except for the very last part of the letter

  • PJ Fry

    I do like that.


  • Ben

    #26 is crazy funny.

    • -------


  • Penelope

    #26…That's just plain sad.

    Some people will never learn that its God's place to judge not there's. What assholes.

    • Cpt Obv.


    • grammar police


      • coocoocuchoo

        *Grammar Police

        • Debasteitor

          *cyber police.. concecuences will never be the same

          • Ravienne_Cullen


    • http://twitter.com/Pasha723 @Pasha723

      Some people will never learn that it's god's place to judge grammar….not theirs.

    • rubbercrutch

      Dude, if you'd actually flip in your bible to the scriptures in the letter, you'd realize that according to the bible, God asked for churches to do exactly that. 1 Cor. 9-13 sums it up perfectly.

      • jay22

        this is true

    • dur

      * the Gods'

      • Dumbshits

        Some people will never learn-There is no god.

  • Mr F

    #24 "You damn kids! Get off my yard!"

    • ron

      ahaha! Still laughing!

  • Dan

    #26 That church isn’t fucking around!

    • Tyler

      But maybe he/she is!!!

    • HankVatican

      I want to become a member of that church, just so I can get a letter like that.

    • dur

      All the press about priests ttouchin little boys contradicts your statement! They seem to be fuckin around quite a bit!

  • Yours Truly

    #13 now thats what I'm talken about. MOAR snow bunnies please

    • http://twitter.com/bromandude21 @bromandude21

      now thats my kind of bunny slope!

  • kitkat63376

    #8 is sooooo NOT funny!!!

    • AnyoneForCoffee

      Too soon?

    • PWNT

      Don't be a wuss. It's just a BIRD.

      • D.C

        Ok, I laughed, but for what it's worth I did feel bad about it after. I'm still a good person? right?

        • cousin eddie


          • http://www.facebook.com/dcturcotte Dillon Turcotte

            fuck you cousin eddie, why do you always have to be such a dick, you are my least favorite cousin

    • Phondo

      Oh, this is just the Chive's super-hilarious, cutting-edge "irreverence" again. Of course, they don't create this stuff, they just choose it to represent their sophisticated tastes.

    • Ken

      Total downer. Pointless suffering by the weak and stupid at the hands of the powerful and greedy. NEVER funny.

    • Special_K

      The bird was suffering man, this is not funny at all.

    • http://www.facebook.com/scubasteve4 Steve Bradley

      You all need to lighten up. Seriously.

      • Mario

        Yeah, because the complete destruction of a habitat and the deaths of thousands of animals, not to mention the loss of jobs of thousands of coastal workers is just F'n hilarious.


        • Jawbone

          Shut the fuck up and go back to saving princesses, you whiny cunt.

    • Bob

      You people are fucking pussies. When it comes to comedy, EVERYTHING is game. That shit was fucking funny. Go change your tampons and keep your whiny shit to yourselves.

      • Ken

        If you've ever heard a joke that you didn't laugh at, it was because you were being a "fucking pussy?"

        So, if I laugh at you for being a retard, if you don't laugh too, you are just being a pussy. Gotcha.

        • Bob

          You miss the point. Yeah, I went on a bit of a rant there, but what I'm saying is that you have to be able to make fun of everything or nothing at all. All jokes are going to be offensive in some way, but that's what makes them jokes. You're not a pussy for not laughing, you're a FUCKING PUSSY for whining about it. …and for having a cat as your icon.

          • Ken

            So does your whining about my icon make you a pussy? When it comes to icons…everything is game.

            If you want to argue, you might want to remove your hypocrite chip first.

            • Bob

              I wasn't whining, dumbass. I was just emphasizing the fact that you're a fucking pussy. Although I will admit that when it comes to gay icons, yes, everything is game. Especially yours. Are you laughing yet, retard? …or are you just gonna whine some more?

              • Mike

                Making fun of each other on the internet…grow up

    • jay22

      Dear God! Quit being such pussies. Its. A. Bird. I've shot hundreds… damn oil spill was hyped anyways, its already gone. 10 years for cleanup lol.

  • http://twitter.com/Pasha723 @Pasha723

    #26, Sorry but unless you respond in a few days…you burn in hell for all eternity. God still loves you though!

  • hater

    #12. Bill. Fucking. Murray.

  • Locode

    Memo to chive staff. Stop stealing from each other's posts and reposting the same shit over and over and over and fucking over again. Some of this shit has been on 3 posts in one fucking day.

    • http://www.facebook.com/ryan.b.mcallister Ryan Blair McAllister

      if you have that much time on your hands that you can analyse each post in great enough detail that you actually become annoyed with the wonderful people that bring us funny/awesome/sexy 5 days a week, then maybe, just maybe, you need to, oh i don't know, get a F'ing job and get out of ur moms basement, unless ur american……poor america is screwed…….poor 'merica.

    • Jen

      shut your face, chode! or however the fuck you spell it…

    • jstave

      prove it

  • tommybhoy

    #25 Fuck playing in midfield on that

    • Zee


  • vicrom252

    #24 meanwhile in 'merica

  • PeterGun

    #28 Pass you shall not. Yeesssssss.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000148698258 Le Andre Raymundo Gandy

      more like "Pass you shall Not"

    • Logic76

      come at me bro

  • http://www.facebook.com/Gingergreek Pani Booyah

    #19 This is what happens if you people keep buying Disney products!! Mickey will rule the world one day, makr my words!!

  • Seen it already

    Is it just me or has Chive been recycling their photos recently between posts?

  • gaz

    #26 TL;DR

  • RGH


    and not a single fuck was given that day…until it was too late.

  • REg



    • Joe6Pack

      I don't get it. What am I missing here?

  • sirforsyth

    #26 is fucking insane.

    • Stevo

      Good threat though, 'We will hand you over to Satan'. Not very Christian, but fuck it, you gotta pay your church dues man.

      Also, anyone know what the sin was?

  • spencer

    Ticks me off when people try to play God…church isn't for the saved it is for the sinner….i hate when people decide to play God.

  • Rabbit

    #14 one reason you have to side with anti-monarchists; I vote for a Republic for that country and the countries that are part of its commonwealth

  • Rightclicksaveas

    #17 5 4 3 2 1…Penis

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