It’s Monday, you could use some motivation (33 Photos)

If you like these, check out the great Very Demotivational.

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  • Tit

    suck my ass 1st!

    • http://TheChive.com Drewcifer

      Suck on some Fail, Stop trying to be first, and instead have something interesting to say. When will people learn….?

    • Lleamen

      Well, at least your Name portrays you well enough.

      • Lleamen

        By the way, 11th.

  • 1122

    Banana Hammock!!

  • yomamma

    #33 yes, yes they do

  • Wolfram

    Could have used the motivation about 4hrs ago…

    #28 Pretty sure that could get you out of a DUI, let alone a speeding ticket.

    • iAm1-NAMI

      If she can do that w/o leaning on the car – she passes field sobriety test!

    • BobSugar

      And how you get pink eye.

      • Signal_Lost

        More like brown eye.

        • BobSugar

          Zing!!!

  • Cal

    #4 Oh, So Saturday and THEN Sunday. I was getting confused, but you settled it for me. Thanks Becca!

    • BeccaB86

      Her parents couldn't have named her Susie? Fuck!

    • Creed Braton

      front seat… back seat… SO MANY CHOICES!!!!

      • Anonymous

        Indeed. Which one to take?

  • superman

    Great post – laughed out loud several times but

    #10 sent shivers up my spine 😮

  • Ken

    #28… HOLY HELL!!

    • DistractedIndividual

      That's stripper quality there.

  • DistractedIndividual

    #21
    I KNEW IT!

  • WinningChiver

    #27 62 years ago…..Murdering Rebecca Black's grandparents?

  • EastSidePaul

    #32 Female dog by any chance??!

    • Haterade

      no, asian.

      • IronEagle119

        no, female Asain

  • thejames

    #25 Subtlety. You're spelling it wrong.

    • john

      u should make a box around that box and say that, paul rudd rules.

      • http://www.bentduckcafe.com Bruce

        Damn I was just about to do that. Let you since you beat me to the idea.

  • Joben

    3rd!

  • gudjon

    #26 I honestly can't tell

    • jny

      I do with the dude sucking on the the rifle.

      • jny

        * meant I go with

        • alysinwunderland

          are you a dude?

        • GK-4

          too late

    • Blake

      They all look pretty gay…even the one with tits

  • Bryan

    #28 #33

  • ashley_e_love

    #31 does it move?

    • http://loccus.deviantart.com/ Loccus

      Love your profile icon 🙂

    • Dirty Dingus

      No, you stay still and Japan moves up and down. Hey-O.

      Too soon?

      • alysinwunderland

        that was laugh out loud.

      • ashley_e_love

        sadly, i let out a laugh

      • Anonymous

        Holy shit that was sadly hilarious.

      • WolfP

        Yeah, to soon, but very good 🙂

    • TylerV

      Needs to be smaller (just from what i've heard…and seen)

      • BloodScrubber

        Obviously not the GI Joe kung-fu grip version.

  • Seannerz

    #13 And the Chive will be there to document the whole progression.

  • http://thechive.com/ mattythegooch

    I use #31 to hold my fleshlight……….just sayin'.

  • McBeastie

    #2. Amen.

  • Christian Lander

    #8 Stuff White People Like # 14, Having Black Friends.

    Since we have elected our first half-black president, it seems important to explain why white people want black friends. Every white person wants a black friend like Barack: good-looking, well-spoken, and non-violent. Obviously, whites want black friends so as not to appear racist. However, if we dig deeper what we notice about white people is not if they have black friends but in fact, how many black friends they have. White people like numbers. They like to count things like stars in the sky and the death toll at Mt. Everest and the number of times they’ve seen Tori Amos and/or Phish in concert. Counting the number of black friends is then clearly a divine imperative. The number of black friends white people possess also illustrates their comfort with black culture. Here’s a handy guide to the number system:

    1—The white novice. This black friend is the gateway to helping white people understand gang signs and Vietnamese beauty supply stores. This black friend is probably the only black friend for many white people and when they all hang out (because white people hang out) they bring their “mutual” black friend with them.

    2—The white black club-goer. Two black friends serve as bodyguards when white people go to black clubs to see how exactly one “pops, drops and locks” it.

    3 -4—The white BET-er. See Justin Timberlake/ Robin Thicke/ Jon B for more information. For old school reference, see Michael McDonald.

    5 and up—Impossible.

    • Wolfram

      Shut the fuck up, Christian.

      • Billy

        Yeah you fucking racist………….

    • Saul

      We have no black people where I live, but to make us feel more diverse we paint all thieves black as punishment.

    • NOUU

      i don't have any black friends and i don't want any.

    • Ulisses

      …….tl;dr.

    • joe

      ur fucking funny…and all of yu are dumbasses 4 not getting it

  • iAm1-NAMI

    #13 oh yeah? what if fashion goes in cycles? Be afraid.. (yada yada)

  • iAm1-NAMI

    #20. So, the goose is a furry and the dog is an ornithophile. It's not a lifestyle choice – they were born that way.

  • Dirty Dingus

    I FUCKING LOVE THIS WOOD!

    • drksdr

      Wood. Chivers love it…

  • WoogyMonster

    #33 I wonder if the girl on the left can do what the girl on the right can? #28

  • BabyMistakes

    #25 Sublety? You're spelling it wrong. If you're going to try to be clever in a public forum, don't make it as obvious that you are an idiot.

    • Kilroy

      thank you i was worried i was going to have to make my own post

  • http://www.pencilhead.webs.com Slaine

    #31 I want one :$

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