• petedgr8

    On a scale of 1-10, how handsome am I? And you can't say 11.

  • Tim

    I've never used a pickup line…always been something witty/funny about that particular moment like making fun of someone else at the bar or what's on the tv or something. A lot of times "hey, how's it going?" works just fine. Those 100+ pickup lines that you read about and are truly funny…they never work and they show that your not original.

    • anon

      No shit smartass. This is a place to post funny and stupid pick up lines, not to discuss your "exceptional" knowledge on the art of picking up ladies

      • Tim

        Funny non-working pickup lines have been listed on the web since 1995 and there are probably millions of web pages (literally) devoted to them. If this is all Chive wanted then a)Chive could be more specific and b)Chive is lame…what's next?…a post asking for Neiman Marcus cookie recipes?

        Sounds anon needs to get laid given his/her angry reply.

    • MattFoley


    • Not_Jim

      You're a dork, aren't you…..

    • jared

      Look TIM – your 'magic' worked on my mother ONCE but if you''' recall my slutty Aunt Jan would have nothing to do with you and your, "So on Jersey Shore last night…."

    • Some Guy

      Hey Tim, lets never hang out.

    • Phil


    • Bud Ugly

      Tim, here's a line for ya: shut the fuck up.

  • leighton

    Fuck me if I'm wrong, but isn't your name Laura?

    • BobSugar

      She looks like a Laura.

  • oh harro

    Dont make this rape turn into a murder

    • HeavyD

      nice. just spilled some drink all over the keyboard thanks to u

    • BeccaB86

      This is the first one I thought was actually original and funny enough… assuming you're not serious.

    • Scoops

      hahahaha f'ing EPIC

    • Bud Ugly

      Lmao. Cute line, in a creepy and deadly sort of way.

  • D-O-Double-G

    Is the answer to this question the same as if I asked you to have sex with me?

    • Julie

      damn that's smart

  • shawn

    damn, your dad must be retarded, bc girl your special

  • Bong

    "Is heaven missing an angel? Cause you've got nice cans!"

    • JstevensF

      I see what you did there

  • Philo

    you remind me of my sister…

    • Alex Cameron


  • wolfenstein

    Could you please step away from the bar? You're melting all the ice..

    • emilie

      lol awesome. this line would most likely work on me.

  • Dave

    If you didn't have adult onset Diabetes, I wouldn't mind giving you some sugar.

  • Senor Rock

    Does this rag smell like chloroform?

  • gatto

    Have you seen my congressional medal of honor?

    • Jason

      Blast from the past…..classic

  • Josh

    Step 1. Make eye contact for a lengthy time.
    Step 2. Walk up to her.
    Step 3. "I'm sorry, I just got lost in your eyes."
    Step 4. Profit!

    • DoDah

      She will think you are a stalker Josh

    • michaeler

      gay gay gay. you're gay

  • jessie

    Just remember, to you, I am a virgin.

  • Aroneous

    DAMN your pussy stinks

  • goooooz

    "Dose this rag smell like chloroform to you?"

    • Giroooux

      It might have been funnier if you were the 20th guy to post that type of pickup, but unfortunately you're just the 3rd.

  • xXbeermonkeyXx

    hi, im the beermonkey. i see you are drinking a coloured fruitty drink. those are lame. i cant have a hot girl like you drink something like that. garçon, hand me the card with your finest brews. have you tried beer with a shot of vodka? dare ya to do it with me!

  • ken

    Here, let me clear you a seat (then wipe your mouth with your forearm)


    Hi, my name is (your name) remember it, because you'll be screaming it all night long.

  • tcberic

    "Can I buy you a fish sandwich and some Courvoisier?"

  • apple

    ill lick you all over

  • paulo

    Did you just fart? cause you blow me away


    Is that a Keg in your pants because I want to tap that ass!

  • Sir Dragoncock

    Hello, I have a penis that is above average size.

  • force kin

    'can i refil ya glass'
    'pardon' [shes posh]
    'can i stick it in ya ass'
    or is that the other way round

  • paulo

    if you were a bugger, id pick u first

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