• Al_Buck

    Hey, s'up, I have a 12 inch tongue and can breathe through my ears…need a place to sit??

  • oldtofu

    Hi there, I like to buy you & your friends a couple of drinks in exchange for your number because I'm not lame enough to use pickup lines.

  • stewardofyorkock

    you must be an angel because I want to fuck your ass

  • Lee

    Does this rag smell like chloroform?

  • Lights0ff

    I'm really into recycling…now if you don't mind, I'm going to grab those cans of yours.

  • CharmdImSure

    saddle up to the bar, order your drink, make the bartender laugh (about the crazy crowd, lame night, needing a heavy pour, anything really), catch eyes with the girl you're attracted to, smile quickly and immediately down to your wallet, phone, or shoes to show you're a little reserved. stay in the area. if you catch eyes/smiles 2 more times, open up conversation with one of her friends that you're the least attracted to as to get conversation, introduce yourself. use eyes and smile after you've officially met your girl. buy her a drink and be honest, funny and charming. this really works unless you're a dim wit, douche, horrific looking, shallow, or speak with too much bullshit slang.

  • drew

    did it hurt?

    what? when i feel from heaven? oh, that's cu..

    NO! when u fell out of the whore tree and banged every dude on the way down..wanna fuck?

  • Mizzat

    Does my chloroform smell napkin to you?

  • Bash Theband

    :hey im invisiable, can you see me?
    :cool how about tomorrow night?

  • Harrison

    Get in the van

  • kyle

    Ya know…I may not be the best lookin guy in here, but I'm the only one talkin to you.

  • Gradus Potatus

    Me: Wanna play the rape game?

    Her: No

    Me: That's the spirit!!


  • Issac

    Awww… Im not Feeling so Good…I Think I Need To Go See a Veterinarian.

    Girl: What? Why?

    Cuz These Puppies Are Siiiiiiiiick!. (while flexing)

  • tarancara

    oh GAG, I bet all you guys are single. The WORST are any of you who use a "Is that a/ because I" lines. I would immediately spit out my drink and head to the bathroom. Why don't you ask the CHIVE LADIES(well, some of us are ladies- me not so much) what the best way is to get in our pants…Remember, all you have to do is ask 😉

  • Sarah Cassens

    Would you like to do some math with me? We can add a bed subtract our clothes, divide your legs and multiply.

  • Munt

    Do you taste as good as you look?

  • Frank

    Who pooped on your shoes?

  • Jen

    yea, id think you were a creeper

  • Jen


  • ChristophersonofGray

    I'm gonna punch you in the baby-maker.

  • Khaqan

    take out my camera take a pic of her & tell her she's going to be famous on The Chive. incase i don't get a good reply… still post on The Chive!! 😀

  • @padraig

    There's two girls here I want to fuck and you're both of them.

  • John Ahlberg

    Hey baby, want to see my Pride Rock?

  • sandwiches1123

    I don't have any good pick up lines. Women usually approach me because they always love the sandwich. It's probably the only thing they are comfortable with at the bar since it is made in the kitchen.

  • Metzger

    Hey look, you're number one on my to do list.

blog comments powered by Disqus
Back to the top