A low down dirty good time (30 Photos)

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  • crazydog

    #28 looks like an extra from a marilyn manson video, and WTF is up with her navel area?

  • http://machiavellichronicles.com MaxPC

    #18 Epic meal time!!!

    • ROK247

      (would have been fine with just rice crispies treats but didnt mention that til after)

    • craigarlen

      best girlfriend ever?

      • 03_SE_XTERRA

        certified best girlfriend ever

        • http://machiavellichronicles.com MaxPC

          She would have been the best girlfriend ever if she had made the same offer WITHOUT first busting his lip wit hthe x-box controller.

          Now she qualifies as amazing but not best ever.

          • Guse

            My wife (who says she loves me very much) would have just laughed like hell about the busted lip.

            I *might* have gotten some sex out of it. Probably no Krispies Treats, though.

        • plop

          best girlfriend???
          she goes psycho on you… and then gets you back with a bj
          that, my friends is (as eddie murphy so eloquently put it) a pussy trap!!

    • nnn

      If she was really sorry those would have been homemade

    • Walter Sobchak

      Meh…. back in '96 my girl gave me a BJ while I smoked a blunt and played Mortal Kombat 3 on the Super Nintendo. Had to put the controller down after about 13 seconds. Not the blunt, though.

      • plop

        and the controller had a cord
        et voila.. no busted lip

    • the MAN

      This should also be included in the "Before Marriage" pic with the lions.

    • niglar

      If the controller to the face was accidental, then krispies and a blow-job seems fine…if she's a fucking lunatic and threw the thing at his face ala the red bearded guy at the end of braveheart, with that huge sword, then a medium rare t-bone and some anal would be the way to go…

    • + blitzkrieg

      apology accepted

  • 1st

    #29 No friends?

  • Jimbo_Slice

    #25 Im doing the BP ms150 this weekend… God I hope we dont get some asshole like this out there.

    • Dan

      Any time some bicyclist on a road is killed by a car, it's a win! Seriously.

  • Dan

    #24 — My brain just died.

    • HankT

      No shit…I was all SWEET @ #23…
      then NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO to that….thing in 24

    • ImpressMe

      I need eye bleach…..and I think I just threw up a little in my mouth….geezus.

    • BobSugar

      I don't wanna live on this planet anymore…

    • ** PAULA HATER **

      That looks like Paula

    • RichXTC

      Should have a Chive censor bar here, covering the whole image!

    • http://echogeo.wordpress.com/ echogeo

      I gotta go back & look at Liz from Miami some more.

    • Claude M.

      This guy used to be attractive, had a good job. Then one day he laughed at a joke about the Challenger explosion, and soon he cracked up at 9/11 jokes and lol'd at pictures of dead children, run over bicyclists, and so on.

      Now look at him.

    • Serg
  • Basement Cat

    #18

    I would get him a chz steak instead

  • EZEE

    #5

    I actually prefer it the other way around…

    • DistractedIndividual

      We have Kum N' Go Gas stations here… I think it's hiarious:)

  • theragingmonk

    #8 = douche

    • http://twitter.com/whitsouth11 whitneysouth

      Kanye should stick to music and not to media.

      He's kind of the Heidi Montag of the "rap game"…
      Any publicity is good publicity, right?
      He intentionally acts like a douche because it makes his name a topic.
      We get it Kanye. Your'e suuuch a hard ass.

    • Tone

      State obvious, get thumbs up.

  • rdh014

    #4 motorboating…yer doing it right!

    • Allen

      Please find #4 blond

  • http://twitter.com/Calibad @Calibad

    #27 The shark shown here is not a joke. Several people were killed, and many injured severely. This picture has no place in anything trying to be funny. It should be removed.

    -Jabberjaw

    • Djenz

      BWAHAAHA!! Well played sir.

    • dasuperfan

      i agree not only was a person killed there were two stubbed toes, five skinned knees, a paper cut and did i mention some one farted… there is absolutely no place for this any where I'm appalled totally totally appalled right now

      p.s. bitches do love sharks

    • shaka khan

      yo yo Chive Trolls, I'mma let you finish, but that was the best comment of all time….

    • Jfrost

      I laughed harder at this than I did any of the pictures up there!

      • http://echogeo.wordpress.com/ echogeo

        Oh man, tears are coming outta my eyes now. Hysterical.

    • garnil

      dude just took this comment thread to a whole new level…impressive

    • Riyker

      Did the shark break into there house and rob them?

    • Chivette

      God i love the chive

    • SKEWED

      You, my friend, are winning. Laughed at my desk.. Now there's a crowd!

  • Seannerz

    #18 I'd gladly take an Xbox controller to the lip for an apology like that.

    • dasuperfan

      he's about to kill a million babies in her mouth

    • Boris

      Get him a PS3.

    • Shorttotry

      I'm sure you would. Sorry you need shit to be thrown at you to get head as an apology

  • HankT

    #26 Good lord Chive PLEASE find that brunette…

    • ROK247

      find the ninja – oh wait you cant cuz if you did you'd already be dead.

      • http://www.facebook.com/timothy.parrish3 Timothy Parrish

        Ninja? That's the chick from Venture Brothers… Natasha? I forgot some stereotypical Russian name for a girl

        • DukeNukem

          you know of russian chicks actually named "Molotov Cocktease"? damn.

    • Frank

      MOAR of the brunette !!!!!!!!

    • http://twitter.com/ngalarneau @ngalarneau

      Find both IMOBBQ

    • disturbed

      I'll 4th that if I can. Wow. FTW!

    • http://twitter.com/p_oneill @p_oneill

      Agreed – the brunette could be the all-around cutest woman I have seen on The Chive in a long time.

  • JLC

    Agree, that's not too classy.

    • CLJ

      Really? I disagree. I personally found it highly fap-worthy….

  • IMHO

    #24
    Sometimes I'm convinced that I'd be better-off blind.

    • peteyroberto

      well then ud miss #26

    • hMMMM

      Don't be stupid. Better off blind…

  • Djenz

    Ya know… Lots of bad sh*t happens in the world … people die… New ones are born… if ya don't have humor about things even if they are tragic… then you are a douche. Toughen up. Chive on Chive … Chive on.

    • EZEE

      Although I agree with everything you say, people being killed really is not cool for humor. Especially when it wasn't some dumbass stunt, but, people just on bikes.

      • Ryno

        They should not have been in the middle of the road.

    • Jak

      Oh, wow. I was gunna ask to see the gif. Well, it's a good thing I didn't

  • bud

    #26 femal version of captain underpants? right on

  • xXbeermonkeyXx

    #6 will ferrell is the truly winning the interwebz
    i wonder what he has to say about the innuendo on #16

  • Fagley Dork

    #24 FIND HER!

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Shannon-Coverdale/606371253 Shannon Coverdale

      bahahaha

      • Netoward

        No need, he WILL find you!

  • ImpressMe

    Thats not a staged pic…and the Chive is better than that….c'mon guys…take it down.

    • snowbird

      Im offended by rick moranis calling me an asshole. chive on.

      • raglin

        winner ^

  • ROK247

    #14 DOOD ALERT!!!! SHIELDS UP!

  • hueyrocks

    #30 – LUDICROUS SPEED!!!

    • GTO

      they overshot us by a week and a half!

    • jimbo

      We've gone plaid!!

  • http://blog.tomsforeign.com Yeahbeer

    #18 nom nom nom nom

  • Sanman

    #18 Honestly, this looks fabricated for net attention.

    • AuSome

      Regardless of attention or not. Best girlfriend EVER lol

      • Sanman

        Exactly… for an apology 'gift' like that… who wouldn't want to fight with her??

    • mrjimmyos

      Definitely, one does not simply just give away rice crispie treats, they're too tasty

    • ArrestingTerry

      I'm guessing the letter and rice crispy treats told you that?

  • https://www.facebook.com/jason.ciotti Jason Ciotti

    #14…well it is Burn Your Bra Tuesday…looks like they started off right in here.

  • thursdaymofo

    #26 looks to be of good proportion. No pancakes or pepperonis. I appreciate a girl like that.

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