Daily Morning Awesomeness (20 Photos)

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  • derpy

    first..you love me.

    • derpy again

      I HACKED this comment, you can like it 3 times.

    • MacTheKnife

      Second… I kill you ❤

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Benton-McGrath/587208531 Benton McGrath

      #23 Poor One out for One's Homies.

    • Durka

      Rock on Nick. RIP.

    • DefendDallas

      DIE YOU S.O.B.!!!!!

      • DefendDallas

        Oops, that was aupposed to go under the "First"comment. My bad!!

        • DistractedIndividual

          Wow, possibly one of the most fucked up fails Iv'e seen in quite a while…..

    • financial aids

      nope, i hate you. http://www.oneadayporno.com

  • http://twitter.com/Tarragonist @Tarragonist

    #22 WTF?

    • jkn

      Like a boss!

    • Birdhaus32

      HELL YEAH LIKE A BOSS!

  • missjenkins11

    #7 really is super

    • TT250

      I think 6"s comment needs to go on 7's picture

      • DaddyD

        Hmmm … maybe that's why Bob put them in that order?

    • Jack Burton

      Who is she?

      • Rahul

        Amber Heard

    • Bob

      we need this one in HQ

      • Old Man

        No. We need this one in x-ray.

    • equalizermax

      FIND HER

    • dub

      totes fake.

    • yuri

      shes a lesbian

  • Its me

    #3 and #9. Labs and Retrievers are the two best domesticated pets around. Screw you cat owners

    • http://www.facebook.com/KaylaSmith43 Kayla Smith

      You forgot #15, and I have 2 cats a lab. They all make me laugh daily with the stupid things they do…. 😀

    • Ken

      I've had a lab and a cat. I think they're both kewl. If you prefer labs and retrievers then fine. Not sure why you would give a shit that other people have different preferences than yourself. Seems a waste of hostility to me, but whatever floats your boat.

  • starin1

    #11 hilarious…..sorry chivers I wasnt quicker than this doucher

  • Meep

    #15 Oh shiaaat he looks like Chucky!!

  • hater

    #2. WANT.

  • Nobody

    #3 Jabba the Mutt?

  • Joel

    #1

    I might only have one balloon, but it's better than all yours combined.

  • bbqboobs

    #20 Alright, I'm gonna need you to keep still for about 20 minutes. Haha j/k about 5 minutes.

    • Pietro

      thats the perfect woman right there !

  • Alec_Is_Epic

    #16 I'm guessing a good chunk of the $200 went into buying the kush.

    • AnyoneForCoffee

      Way to teach your four year-old child such gestures.

      Good parenting. Well done.

      • Its-a me, Mario

        because the kid is scarred for life now? please…..

        • Ejigantor

          Not because the kid is scarred, but because people should try to impress a better standard of behaviour upon their progeny.

          • Mercules

            Future Scumbag Steve.

      • The Parent

        It's just a finger. Who gives a fuck.

    • fibonacci5150

      somehow his is not satisfied 😛

    • Zooropa

      I can just imagine what this douchebag parent is like. Don't teach your kid to give the finger at age 4, you stupid pile of crap.

      • The Parent

        Go fuck yourself. That is what this parent is like.

    • Hmmmm

      Somehow I think you could have made better use of those 2 weeks.

      • Menace

        yeah, like not smoking pot when you're supposed to be parenting

        • The Parent

          Yeah Menace, it really speaks volumes about me as a person that I can possibly juggle a crippling pot addiction and fathering a few kids at the same time.
          You're fucking lame dude.

      • The Parent

        Yeah. At least it was a fun and productive activity to do with my kid. Go back to watching reality TV and eating cheeseburgers with all that free time

    • financial aids

      looks pretty good.

    • Big Will

      people on here are way to sensitive. This is the Chive people and this pic is AWESOME!

      • The Parent

        Big Will- Your'e Awesome

        • http://www.facebook.com/people/Dayna-Vaughan/1319192166 Dayna Vaughan

          Lots of closet repub's im assuming, Mr. Parent, that are jumping on you for partaking and being a parent. I also smoke occasionally, but feel guilty that I do. Its society's way of letting you know that we're assholes for enjoying the good green god gave us. Dont beat yourself up for it.
          I do however, find a 4 year old brandishing a middle finger to be distatseful, but who the hell cares what we think? To each his own. Awesome work on the suit.

          • Bin Dun

            "Its society's way of letting you know that we're assholes for enjoying the good green god gave us"

            bullshit, it's probably people's way of telling you to stop being an attention whoring, self-aggrandizing wannabe-maverick . i myself smoke pot, and i can't of anything more boring, more lackluster,and more uninteresting than hearing someone talking about themselves smoking weed. "ooooh, you smoke pot in the year 2011? you're about as rebellious as my 70 year old grandmother. and in both instances, i don't give a shit".

          • Christian Lander

            Stuff White People Like # 33, Marijuana

            People from many cultures like marijuana (South East Asian, Jamaica, India, Morrocco, Mexico, etc), but white people take it to an entirely new level.

            To simply purchase, roll and smoke marijuana is not enough for white people. They need to make sure they know all the different strains, cultivation technique, and methods for smoking it. They even have an entire magazine devoted those where they actually have centerfolds of plants that people have grown.

            White people are also willing to spend over $500 on smoking devices just to find new and more expensive ways to smoke weed.

            It is worth noting that at every white person, at some point, has written a high school or college paper about the history of how the DuPont industry helped make weed illegal. This paper also teaches them about how hemp can be used to fuel cars, make clothing, create food, cure cancer, and solve every single problem on earth.
            While you would assume that most white people smoke weed between 14-28 (and act as though they are the first generation to do so), the reality is that white people smoke weed well into old age. They also smoke weed with their kids! This is not a joke. White people love weed so much that they consider it a ‘gift’ to share with their kids. Leading to a generation that was not allowed to watch Power Rangers, but was allowed to toke up.

            All white people believe marijuana should be legalized, and they consider the Netherlands to a pinnacle of enlightenment. Also, every white person has had their most profound weed smoking experience in Amsterdam, so it’s a good idea to fabricate a story about your own experience there so you can quickly forge a bond. Traditional tales uses the following words: hostel, brownie, girl/guy from Hungary, crazy, locked out, chill dudes from Ireland.

            Under NO CIRCUMSTANCES should ever imply that people just smoke weed to get high, they do it for medical/spiritual/social reasons, etc, or that there are any negative consequences. This will likely alienate you from white people.

            On the plus side, white people are always looking for higher quality, more potent, more organic marijuana. If you promise to hook them up with a special selection from your home country, they will likely pay a high premium.

            • Big Will

              wow

              • Ryno

                If white people (as you say) wanted marajuana to be legal, then it would be.

  • Josh Gorter

    One of the better DAMs in awhile. Also hope I get a gift half as cool as #6 on b-day

    • AeroMace

      DMAs?

      • Josh Gorter

        D is for Dslyesica

        • DaddyD

          That's the name of this organization I'm in … D.A.M. … Mothers Against Dyslexia.

    • Shawn

      Wow. You must have had some really shitty birthdays.

    • dixie normous

      I'd rather have #7 for my birthday than that bs

  • Mmm_Ciao

    #22 I must say, that is fairly impressive.

  • Cavall

    #13 Numbers 1-49…? look like her.

    (50 is touch his penis)

    • Marios145

      One way….BOOBS

    • captainobvious

      making 13, #13 – I see what you did there.

    • ROK247

      1: show up
      2-50: see number one.

      (sidenote: i always hated house and never watched the show. but olivia wilde was on it last nite so i watched it. i watch house now.)

    • http://www.youtube.com/user/MrScaryMuffin MrScaryMuffin

    • AtomManhattan

      Dear women of the world,
      Do you ever wonder why men don't take you seriously, or have no respect for you? Perhaps it has a little something to do with getting info/life lessons from this bullshit. Of course, I say this completely forgetting that you are incapable of thinking for yourself.
      Justified mysoginist,
      A-Bomb

      • DukeNukem

        that and bitching about wanting to be treated equally, but then bitching about not being "treated like a lady".

  • codey

    #19 well they are better than crocs

    • Pat

      nah, uggs and flip flops are the only things worse.

  • Anakrusix

    #10 sounds like a great idea. I have 3 neighbors with leash-less, bomb-dropping dogs. Oh Chive. An arsenal of awesome ideas.

    • GK-4

      i live in an apartment complex near campus. Down the stairs next to grass are no less then 10 dog turds. Walking around the the grass here is suicide.

    • hot carl

      my 88 year old grandma did this. only with no note, and she flung it into their open garage.

    • Jfrost

      I've wanted to do this for so long, but I've no idea whose dogs keep shitting in our common area. Seems like every other person has a dog and I've never caught anyone leaving their shit out. It's a fucking minefield.

    • http://echogeo.wordpress.com/ echogeo

      My next door neighbor used to do the same thing. Then I grabbed a shovel and catapulted the loads back over the fence. It ended shortly after that.

  • Wilson

    #15 What Dexters baby should look like.

  • jjungill

    Well that was a waste of $200.00 #16

    • captainobvious

      I'm assuming prompting him to flip you the bird went over quite well in daycare.

      • jjungill

        ..whatever that means

      • The Parent

        Nope, but his advanced vocabulary and mannerisms certainly did.

        • hMMMM

          You made yet another spelling error.

    • random white guy

      Im going to have to stick up for "The Parent" here. I dont agree with the bird, but thats his choice as a parent. You dont know, he could also do a good job of teaching his child what is not appropreate in public settings. The thought that he spent two weeks working on a project with his son, is pretty damn cool. A large percent of parents spend time acting like they dont have children (going out drinking or partying) or they act like children them selves.

      • The Parent

        Random white guy- Thank you for the positive and kind words of encouragement. And you're very accurate about the whole "Teaching what's appropriate in public" thing. Normally I wouldn't have encouraged him flipping the bird, but he was really just goofing around in his costume and I rolled with it. My mistake I guess.
        I take great enjoyment from raising my children and would be greatly ashamed if they grew up to be anything like these no-talent, hate-filled, internet trolls who feel the need to shit on a 4 year old little boy.

        • Elton John

          Yeah. They're the biggest congregation of faggotry since my last orgy.

  • Joe

    #21 At the 2011 International Slinky Semi-Finals

    • Dan

      This was a real stretch to pitch this for the 2014 Winter Olympics

    • GK-4

      or the X-Games Endurance Rail-Grinding Event

  • tits_mcgee_

    #18 mystery tee

    • that_guy

      Mr. E…T? haha I pity the carbon based life forms!

    • Gonzo

      I pity the fool who doesn't PHONE HOME!

  • McCrappy

    19th u stupid motherfuckers, come at me now and eat my shit!!!! :@

  • RustyxTrombone

    #16 that's world class parenting right there.

    • sandi

      Yeah, i don't get the reason for the "bird" in this costume. 4 year olds! sheesh

      • Drea619

        This is the CHIVE stfu

  • Honest Joe

    I saw #15 and heard Tenacious D.

    This kid looks like a crazy Jack Black.

    "How's it going? That's the first thing I say to you…."

    • DCBizzle

      "…how's it goin? are you flowin?"

      But seriously….. this made you think of Double Team by Tenacious D? lol

      • Honest Joe

        Lol! If it went down like that it would be hella messed up. It was more like stages, Kid-Jack Black-Inward singing-Double team-Chive post.

  • nightmare

    Ok who is #7 and why can't we have a full shot of her

    • captainobvious

      I'd like a shot AT her

    • Rahul

      Amber Heard..

      • IMHO

        What an oddly attractive name, or is it? Well, it's good for about two million cheesy punchlines, in any case.

      • darz

        na not her, but pretty close. amber heard def needs her own thread on here

  • http://theyachtclublife.blogspot.com Detroit Artist

    #8 and #9 Made me Double AWWW…

    • JohnQ

      Real men are kind to animals.

    • GK-4

      These 2 made my morning

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