• Sonny

    How you doin'

    • Me3

      Hey, I only got one line, but I think I had enough cocaine for today so you can have it.

  • Shasterbower

    Your t-shirt is 10 digits too high!

    • Nick

      Hi, i'll pleasure your meat!… i mean… pleasure to meet you!

      • Danimal

        79? How about you blow me and I owe you 10.

  • jason

    The word of the day is "legs". Let's go back to my place and spread the word.

    • IronEagle119

      Holy fuck thats terrible. Only about 25 years late on using that line. Go change your name, you don't deserve to be a Jason.

  • Gordon


  • Rob

    tickle your ass with a feather? WHAT!!! I said Typical Nasty Weather

    • Randy

      Did you really just use a line from the movie "Up the Academy"?

      • DaddyD

        Actually, that joke was old when I first heard it in the early 1960s.

      • Rob

        You know I can't remember where I got that from ….

        • Spocker

          It was quoted by Harvey Korman in a Mel Brooks movie called "High Anxiety".

          At least that's where I heard the "tickle your ass with a feather" part.

  • tommy

    My magic watch says you're not wearing any underwear.

    (she says she is)

    Damn! It must be 15 minutes fast

    • blue


    • mrluke

      Hi, what are you doing later??

      (she says "I don't know")

      I do.

    • musetv

      epic win! 😀

  • sk8ter-80

    i lost my number, can i have yours?

  • Admiral Ackbar

    "Strippers here!"

    • fed

      it's a trap!

  • Tittensuppe

    Move bitch, get out the way. Get out the way bitch, get out the way.

    • big meech

      i dont think that line even works for ludacris.

  • Dood

    your giving me a giant boner right now, would you mind if i explode it on your chest?

    • blue

      you've never actually seen a vagina, have you dood?

      • shaka khan


    • Lee Malikibob Malone


    • Maynard B.

      Um…a little forward are you?

  • MikeofLA

    This halls kind of crowded, why don't we duck into one of these rooms real quick?

  • Paul

    Does this smell like Chloroform?

    • Nalchad


    • blue

      thx 4 the laugh Paul…there's some creative bastards on this site alright…

    • liam

      already posted last week man

  • Miami Beach

    Hi. your Pleasure to meet me

  • dasuperfan

    I'd love to kill a million babies in your mouth later tonight

    • DUZCO

      It is actually 20,000,000

      • Brother Maynard

        For me it's closer to 100 million.

    • dasuperfan

      yeah i wasn't asking how many babies get killed in your moms mouth at the annual bukkake and BBQ free for all i was just making a joke thanks for the stupid comments though… fuck wads wish your mothers would have swallowed you

    • Nick

      and you should include 'potential' in your line

  • Charles

    "either real life of fantasy it's your choice, all i know is i'm going to be screwing you one way or another soon"

    • Charles

      "either real life OR fantasy it's your choice, all i know is i'm going to be screwing you one way or another soon"

    • Charles

      "either real life of fantasy it's your choice, all i know is i'm going to be screwing you one way or another soon" #$^e^#%^&%$&

      • BeccaB86

        It's okay. Just get a little fresh air & try again.

  • sleepinggiant

    Hey you want to go out for a pizza and a fuck? What you don't like pizza?

  • Randamn

    Want to get some nachos and screw.
    She screams no
    what you don't like nachos?


    I will fuck the taste out of your mouth!

  • NeedBeer

    Your teeth seem kind of yellow, shall I whiten them for you?

  • Ty Webb

    I was born to love you
    I was born to lick your face
    I was born to rub you
    but you were born to rub me first

    • Cold In Washington

      You can never go wrong with a Caddyshack quote!

  • I'dBangHer

    Hey girl, wanna be the chip, and I'll be the battery. I'm Eveready and you're Fritolay.

    • b-ry


  • Cael Spackler

    Bark like a dog

    • bull1123

      Apparently nobody on here likes Bill Murray…

      • DefendDallas

        Or Coming to America

  • J.Garibaldi

    Damn girl, MOVE I have to shit.

  • JayRomey420

    Could you help me get the wrinkles outta my penis???

  • Bill

    Put the fucking lotion in the basket……

    • stress_fetish


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