Daily Morning Awesomeness (20 Photos)

  • Semper

    #4 I want one!!

    • D.C

      Chive, for the love of god, and all things funny,sexy and chive worthy please stop doing this to us

      • Moob

        Whatever, I thought it was fucking hilarious.

    • Lauren Gentile

      Imagine waking up to that thing looking directly at you…with those…eyes.

      Would you REALLY want that?!

      • Stevo

        well, id need a more effective way to drag myself out of bed. High-octane nightmare fuel should do it.

      • Boom

        If you're talking about yourself, then the answer is a resounding "YES PLEASE!"

        • Marv

          *sigh* can you incessant ass-kissers please show yourselves out?

          • Boom

            Dude, if you are not interested in kissing Lauren's ass, please… TheBerry is waiting for you.

    • financial aids

      it looks kind of gross. http://www.oneadayporno.com

      • http://www.facebook.com/people/Dawn-DuBois/507725936 Dawn DuBois

        First off. that cat….whoa. Secondly, I hope everyone is reporting this spamming douchebag every time they leave a comment 🙂

  • Alec_Is_Epic

    #22 I starve because of this.

    • jaynecobb

      you do know that you are supposed to push there and pull the top off ot open.

      • just sayin'

        Ya ever heard of a fuckin knife.

        • Rune-Zo

          I always just pull out a knife as well

        • isawoj

          I'm not allowed to use knives.

        • old school

          you have never heard of a fuchen joke?

    • Guest

      I can hear the sound effect

  • Catence

    So reading #18 is possibly one of the worst things to see as I am getting ready for bed.

    • DCMOFO

      I took a quick look around me after that one.

    • Randomthings

      I keep some around as natural pest control anyway.

    • Jim

      don't worry, most of the facts that appear on the chive are full of shit anyway. this one is no exception

      • haterade

        You are correct sir! Actually, this came from a post on Reddit. True story. And the post was titled something like, "Gee, that sounds like a scientific fact." The chive apparently missed the sarcasm and took it as fact.

    • nywolf

      Don't worry guys, it's not true. People always claim that scientists find new things about spiders (that you eat x amount while you sleep and that daddy long legs are very poisonous) and none have been true and NONE have actually come from scientists. Sleep in comfort, because spiders don't like to live in your houses in most places because they can't get food, so they are nowhere near you.

    • Arachnophobia


      • Sick

        they cant kill us all. they will keep the fat ones for food

        • Zing


    • jjj

      how is it a "fact" that scientist "think"
      That should interesting opinion.

    • bumblefish1985

      I wouldnt worry about this fact because its bullshit.

      • Stats

        I think it's meant as an average, encompassing all humans. If you take that into account, and assume that 90% of the world doesn't live and work in hermetically sealed spaces like Americans do, there is actually a very large chance that, indeed, many people are surrounded by multiple spiders withing relatively close proximity, so statistically I can believe this fact. It doesn't mean that there is a spider 3ft from you right now, obviously.

  • Alec_Is_Epic

    Oh, and totally doing #11 tomorrow at the library.

    • D.C.

      What is number 11#

      • Michael Knaak

        troll face

      • haterade

        See, this is an inside joke on reddit. the chive likes to steal their stuff and not explain it. true story.

    • OhSomeEvil

      Just did that in my office, cant wait….


      • haterade

        not forever alone.

        • OhSomeEvil

          i know it's trolled, but saying FOREVER ALONE, makes me tinkle.

    • financial aids
      • haterade

        i like this oneadayporno guy cause he, like the chive, seeks to rely on others work to make a profit. if the chive is gonna troll reddit with no credit given, then this guy should be able to troll the chive.

  • Joe

    #18 YEAH I should sleep well tonight

    • Sick

      they wont bug you. they bug the bugs that do bug you istead

    • financial aids

      i like spiders. idk why people hate them so much. http://www.oneadayporno.com

      • haterade

        you go porno dude!

    • bartman

      I know that for sure. One night, just before I went to bed, I found a black widow hiding beneath my pillow!

  • Lower

    #1 GET SOME!!!!

    • 1/2 of Wonder Twins

      Jesus cat loves yous this much

      • Odd

        I happen to be Russian, and my cat's name is – strangely – Boris. This ad was meant specifically for me.

  • jesus

    #1 if you ever see that in public. you turn and run

    • McBeastie

      Why run from Kitty Jesus? Embrace your feline God.

      • McBeastie

        They changed pics around, didn't they? Well…now I feel stupid. Where's my Cat God now!?

        • jesus

          i guess #21 wasnt worth of the one spot

  • peter


    • financial aids

      this is just insulting. women are terrible leaders. why would someone put this on their bumper? http://www.oneadayporno.com

  • Anonymous

    #7 Vader cakes!

  • Mmm_Ciao

    I always feel bad when I accidentally step on a snail. 😦 #20

    • http://twitter.com/Tarragonist @Tarragonist

      Oh well, if this makes you feel better: I've actually seen my neighbor killing one with salt. So…like, at least you're doing it accidentally… There are worse people on this earth than you.

      • douche


    • yup

      I hate them, they eating my salad and my gf's flowers.

    • Gary the Snail

      Don't feel bad, we know where you live and we got you in our list, so we know who to kill first when the revolution comes

      • Mmm_Ciao

        I hope that's the "Do not kill" list… :S

    • DistractedIvdividual

      Ditto….Stepped on one barefoot once….scarred me for life. I can still hear the crunch:(

  • Dustmiretheturd


  • Luda

    #17 Let me touch it, let me feel it, let me grab it…. fat rabbit, fat rabbit

    • Ryno

      Let me see it again cause I already saw it yesterday. Will probably see it a few more times.

    • quintus

      Old school ludacris. I love that song.

    • OhSomeEvil

      hahaha only the people who reply know thats from LUDA!

      love that album

  • http://twitter.com/Calibad @Calibad


    Pedobear in its natural habitat.

    • Rune-Zo

      You sir, have Today's most awesome comment on the entire Internet

    • caleb

      Definitely the strongest comment that I have read yet, well done sir.

    • Alejandro Loret

      sir You've officially won the internet.

  • Ben


    • http://echogeo.wordpress.com/ echogeo

      I bet Samurai Belushi would get it open.
      I still miss that guy.

  • Shazamm

    #9 has now been on the chive multiple times and i cant find what it means by giraffe.

    • F-oo

      ..I hope you're joking. LOOK AT THU SHAYP

    • newt

      giraffe silhouette between the two. facing towards the chick

    • ILuvBoobs

      the sun between them kinda looks like a giraffe. Kinda

    • Giraffetator

      The sun peeking through is in the shape of a giraffe.

    • dixie normous

      file yourself under FAIL

    • financial aids

      it looks like a giraffe. it took me a while too. http://www.oneadayporno.com

    • zach

      it all makes sense now…i thought it was talking about his elbow and i was confused as hell.

  • Iron Lung

    #20 He didn't just mind the gap, he made that gap his bitch.

    • opiateofthemasses073

      Possibly one of the greatest comments in a long time. Nice. 🙂

  • Kringle


    vagina eyes.

    • Mangina

      Obviously, you have never seen a vagina.

  • bbqboobs

    #1 You think things are bad in your hood? In my neighborhood, we gotta deal with super soakers. And it's cold out. And you can get really sick.

    • bbqboobs

      It was #21, they changed the picture!

  • xXbeermonkeyXx

    #22 happens to me every single time.
    #10 invasion has begun, get to the armory!

  • Joe

    #14 Damn corporate fat cats

    • MikeyMate

      I see what you did there.

    • OhSomeEvil

      & I liked it.

    • financial aids

      why would you get your cat so fat then sprinkle money all over it? http://www.oneadayporno.com

    • Ken

      Clever that.

  • JMikeH

    #21 "You bout to get nerfed fool!"

  • 46EastLawn


    After some quick research this statement proves to be plausible at best….

  • Jim

    #18 i call bull shit on this one

  • rocknroll

    #9 hard to see at first but the sunshine between them is shaped like a giraffe. Oh…more life wasted away.

  • :))

    #6 oh yeah, that's the spot. keep rubbin' it

    • P90

      Insurance agent: 'So, how did your husband drown?'

      • stonyjoe

        mind the gap

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