Daily Morning Awesomeness (20 Photos)

  • VIP


    • Quatchi


    • Cosmic

      pity you had nothing interesting to say!

    • KeyserSoze

      Even if you come in first at the special Olympics, you're still retarded. I have a hug waiting for you at the finish line.

    • brent

      Hey Everyone, Dell University has Dell Members. Dell has a one week special coupon, good through 4/29. Use this coupon code R5C9KZXKP06PLD to save $150 off select systems $999 and above You can also save $100 off select systems $799 and above by using coupon code TJTR9D050DK9WS. Go to http://www.Delluniversity.com to enter codes.

  • Sean

    This was awesome. Damn I'm up late to read this before bed.

  • Quatchi


    Hey Blinkin!

    • jp34

      Did you say Abe Lincoln?

      • chiver79

        thank you for the Men in Tights reference.

      • Nathan Hart

        A Jew? Here?

    • Lauren Gentile

      Both you and him win the internet today. 🙂

    • Milo

      a black sheriff?!

      • DrROBOTO

        it worked in blazing saddles

  • Ashley


    I'd have an effin heart attack. Thanks for the nightmare because the weather is bad here.

    • GK-4

      damn, i would not be on foot any where near it

    • xxx

      looks like it's barfing

      • Country Boy

        It is, its barfing your neighbor's house… and car… and…

    • Charlie

      sooooooooooooooooo why arent you in the basement instead of taking a picture of this?

    • Bignuts3000

      this is fucking awesome

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Benton-McGrath/587208531 Benton McGrath

    #16 Pussy chasing cock? If only…

    • Bryan

      well it is a gigantic, orange pussy… i'd probably run away too. The cock may also be self conscious, because it is pretty small.

    • Blumpkin

      Thats how a date with snooki would end

    • Ceasar

      Commentary victorious.

    • Dick LeGrande

      Thats no pussy my friend. I wouldn't stick my cock in it.

  • lolnonomous

    #21 dog is chillin' like a boss.

  • http://www.facebook.com/longzr Long Tan

    day complete

  • Wavien

    #18 Ikea ftw

  • http://ilovebender.com B.B. Rodriguez

    #4 So… what happens to your Kindle?

    • https://www.facebook.com/schizoronialfredo Nathaniel Patrick-Bateman Fancypants

      It has an orange screen of death.

  • Lars from Norway

    Disgusting but true #15

    • Mr Nick

      Theoatmeal ftw.

    • whirrrrr


    • https://www.facebook.com/fawenzel Franz A. Wenzel

      Matthew Inman – author of The Oatmeal, ftw!! http://www.theoatmeal.com

    • http://www.last.fm/user/mutiilator Brand_n

      Especially the whole using the hair dryer to dry off their testicles… *shudder*

      • remerules

        actually, that's a recommended way to help avoid jock itch- not to get your jollies, perv.

        • http://www.last.fm/user/mutiilator Brand_n

          Ever heard of a towel?

  • biddy

    #22 were off to kill the teens, all of the teens in the world

  • nightmareblade

    #19 is not real it was photoshop

    • AtomManhattan


    • Daniel

      Agreed. I was wondering where all the debris was.

  • Trevor



    • name


  • Maverician

    What is #10 from?

  • xXbeermonkeyXx

    #5 scarecrow: the original zombie? i knew oz was no place to visit
    #17 $1? yup, forever alone…

    • jonathan penton

      I believe Jesus was the original Zombie, Isn't that why we celebrate easter? The day Jesus rose from the dead to feast on the brains of the living.

  • Joe

    #15 At last, thechive and theoatmeal come together!

    • Jules

      YAY! Go Oatmeal 😀

    • Charlie

      Chive flavored Oatmeal?

  • http://twitter.com/ScottCO09 @ScottCO09

    #19 HOLY FUCK

  • dasuperfan

    four score and seven years ago i used to pimp alot of bitches but you've probably never heard of them #9 so say'is the hipster abe lincolon

    • dasuperfan

      #1 i was like so there for awhile…… but now it like so totally mainstream

      • dasuperfan

        #6 you can come hang with me broe i'm like so totally secluded right now and for surely not mainstream broe…

        p.s. although i did just totally jack off with some agave root and i can't feel my penis any more is that totally spiritual or what

        • dasuperfan

          #10 wtf broe i've been lookin for some agave for like three days you got some extra my man ????????

          • dasuperfan

            fuck you i ate it all NOM NOM NOM

            • dasuperfan


              • dasuperfan

                #17 don't do it its super filling…. and chuncky

                • lol

                  COMBO BREAKER!!!!!
                  (Forever alone guy, having a good time replying to yourself buddy)

    • Honest Abe

      four score and seven years ago gas was 3 cents a gallon. FML

  • this guy

    #6 – fuckin shadow of the colossus!

    • Catch

      Not what hit me when I first saw it, but that's all I can see now…

  • bricedenice


    • DistractedIndividual

      -ouche :]

  • http://toprice.ie/ TOPRICE.IE

    #15 and #20 are my favs.

    • Jak

      #20 They should have taken the seats, then took the pic

  • pleasestop

    #11 – these things were quite boring when they began. This one takes them to a new level of excruciating dullness. Who the fk keeps making them and why? 1 in 50 of them is actually engaging.

    • zzzzzzzzz

      the rest just make the page take longer to load

    • Catch

      Go back to your Michael Bay movies and don't mess with shit you and your fruit -fly attention span can't appreciate. Philistine.

      • marge

        then why do you look at them? other people like them stop complaining

    • name

      why does it say "Summer is in the air" if there are dead leaves all over the ground? looks like Fall to me…

  • ely whitley

    #7 can't make it out, it looks like 'No Fe-entry' and I don't get that. (add something funny here)

    • Ely Whitley

      Oh it's 'Re- enrty' … as in space centre, shuttles etc. Oh yeah. right. Killer.

      • Country Boy


  • engine911

    #15 So true, the only one they did not capture is the guy trimming his pubes, no shame.

  • engine911

    #18 That about sums up our society. If your selling something you better make it as lawsuit proof as you can, because someone is just waiting for an opportunity to use the courts to get your money.

    • justsaying

      The sign was just trying to be funny. Sheesh.

    • McBeastie

      Yeah, it's just Ikea trying to be funny. But thanks for giving us a taste of your manifesto.

    • engine911

      Your right I should relax and enjoy…….Manifesto now that is going a bit far don't you think?

    • lol

      Easy there Mr. Kazinski…

    • Oblivious Bob

      Maybe someone was just really hungry

    • HUH?

      i totally agree. (this agreement does not reflect the opinions of the chive, its employees or sponsors. "agreement" does not infer an endorsement of aforementioned post. any injuries caused by this "agreement" are not the responsibliity of the poster. see website for further details.)

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