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German Children’s book, a real WTF life lesson for your 5 year-old (19 Photos)

May 9, 2011 | In: Funny, WTF

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1
german book 0 German Childrens book, a real WTF life lesson for your 5 year old (19 Photos)

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There were three of us

There were three of us


3
We were born in August

We were born in August


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Mom already had four kittens in May. There were too many of us

Mom already had four kittens in May. There were too many of us


5
That’s why fishermen put us in the bag and sailed in the open sea with us

That’s why fishermen put us in the bag and sailed in the open sea with us


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Then they threw us into the sea to drown us...

Then they threw us into the sea to drown us…


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german book 6 German Childrens book, a real WTF life lesson for your 5 year old (19 Photos)

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But a catshark smelled us and tore the bag apart with its teeth

But a catshark smelled us and tore the bag apart with its teeth


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It ate my brother, then my sister... As the shark was already full, it shoved me into a secluded place, where it could come back later to eat me.

It ate my brother, then my sister… As the shark was already full, it shoved me into a secluded place, where it could come back later to eat me.


10
From its push, all the water poured out of my stomach.Then I recovered and saw that I was still alive...

From its push, all the water poured out of my stomach.Then I recovered and saw that I was still alive…


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And I was the only living thing on a ship - a ghost ship.

And I was the only living thing on a ship – a ghost ship.


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I took the pants from the first skeleton, from the second one I took his shirt and from the third – his gun. When the catshark came back, I shot it and ate it

I took the pants from the first skeleton, from the second one I took his shirt and from the third – his gun. When the catshark came back, I shot it and ate it


13
The shark was delicious and I became strong.

The shark was delicious and I became strong.


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With a stomach full of shark and one lung full of air, I rushed to the sunlight ... It wasn’t too far from the beach.

With a stomach full of shark and one lung full of air, I rushed to the sunlight … It wasn’t too far from the beach.


15
I walked past the tourists towards the train station

I walked past the tourists towards the train station


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I bought a ticket for three ducats which were valid for the whole Germany ...

I bought a ticket for three ducats which were valid for the whole Germany …


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I have been travelling for three days in that train. Then got off the train, wandered the streets and got to one house.

I have been travelling for three days in that train. Then got off the train, wandered the streets and got to one house.


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I pushed the right button. You open the door. How wonderful. Here I am

I pushed the right button. You open the door. How wonderful. Here I am


19
german book 18 German Childrens book, a real WTF life lesson for your 5 year old (19 Photos)

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  • Piston Dave

    The story of my life

  • JohnDoGood

    the story sounds legit.

  • Matthias

    I was born and raised in Germany and my mother had some strange books…but this is the biggest WTF I have ever seen in childrens books.
    For all Americans : Nearly NO one in Germany knows who Dr. Seuss is ;)

  • Wade Wilson

    That's like implying that since we eat cows, we're vegetarians…because cows are vegitarians.

  • Matt

    There is a penis drawn in the beach scene. Yeah, let’s show that to kids.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Eric-Lopez/749834706 Eric Lopez

    Somehow i'm not surprised its German.

  • tobi

    As a German: whats most confusing here is that Matt notices the penis before the tits in the beach scene…

  • fabster

    The famous german children's book author FK Waechter… ;-)
    More bad news, the Onion is not really a newspaper… and wait till you here about santa…

    For all german chivers a quick refresh of your general education. FK Waechter is one of Germany's most prominent satirists and cartoonists. He drew for magazines like pardon and Titanic…

  • lance_b

    WtF…..is your problem with nudity….i mean seriously everybody has genitals….even kids know that

  • Neil Kay

    that was ace! gonna but that book for my little german niece. good find chive!

    • Neil Kay

      i meant buy that book!

  • Khaqan Javaid

    Very crazy story! It had me blinking & wondering… then it struck me, how blessed I am that I never had to read such a story back in the day :D

  • KnowsGerman

    Um yeah. Translations were all wrong but it was at least amusing.

  • kablooey

    There's a Chinese version, wherein the cat's siblings wind up in the Chicken Lo Mein.
    The Germans truly are friggin' freaks.

  • Susanna

    Yeah I didn't grow up with this one but German children's books definitely aren't as soft and cuddly as American ones are. Just look up Struwwelpeter. That shit haunts my dreams.

  • Cheech24

    Haha I looked it up on Amazon from BennyBoys link, lol the reviews are all "My little kids loves it!, a sweet story" I just don't understand.. remind me not to mess with people from Germany! lol

  • Deb

    As a German teacher, this book is new to me, but there's an interesting bio on wikipedia on the author who apparently was a well-known cartoonist & children's book author. The story is weird but also thought-provoking. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/F._K._Waechter

  • Insane2U

    Where is that beach at?

  • mimi

    Great story! The moral of this storyl, is that cats always find their way back home..ha ha ha.

  • :`(

    That's sad…

  • http://stylishblog.net/2013/03/02/here-am-i/ სამი პაწია, კუდფუმფულა კნუტი | Stylish Blog

    [...] Da Bin Ich [...]

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