If it fits, it ships: the reckoning (29 HQ photos)

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Unless you live under a rock, you know the USPS claims that "If it fits, it ships" -aka jam as much shit as you can in a box and they will ship anywhere in the US for one flat rate depending on the size of box you use. We looked at the small print and it said "70 lb max weight limit". Which is A LOT if you think about it. So we sent 10,000 pennies to our sister, Emily who runs theBERRY in Nashville. The box weighed about 60 lbs and the USPS actually came through with their guarantee and delivered the package to Em. She could not lift it off the floor because she is a weak girl. Click HERE if you missed it.

We included a challenge to the Chivers to send us whatever they could fit into a USPS Flat Rate box. They answered by mailing some random ass, awesome shit. Thanks to everyone who participated. We planned on giving a shout to everyone who mailed us something but our intern, Mac, just loves cleaning up the office and trashed all the boxes. Dick.

We want to try this experiment again because we feel like Geraldo opening Al Capone’s safe except there’s cool shit inside. Whatever you send in, we will take a photo and post on theCHIVE with your name and location. Keep in mind, the potential awesomeness of this experiment relies on your creativity. If you own your own company or work for a cool company and you want to whore out your brand and be a hero at work, send us free stuff. If you send something pointless, like a pen with your real estate company name on it, we will attach it to helium balloon and send it to the Inland Empire.
Mailing address:

701 Ocean Front Walk, Sweet 6
Venice, CA 90291

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  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Billy-Schott/507335759 Billy Schott

    Ninja costume. Awesome

  • Dave

    This is AWESOME. #11 eggs and #24 ninja ftw

  • Joe

    #27 That dick.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Cristi-Palincas/100001225207844 Cristi Palincas

      Pet rocks are awesome! Hater :p

      Have a poem!

      You sit there,
      Grey and cold.
      I watched you from my bed and smile happily.
      Ahh, my pet rock.
      You are the most agreeable pet ever.
      I never have to walk you.
      You don't need a litter tray which I'd have to clean.
      Not a noise nor a whimper comes from your sturdy frame.
      Perfect pet.
      I don't have to feed you.
      Spend my hard earned dollar on suspicious meat products.
      I can recite Shakespeare to you and you don't leave the room in a hurry.
      Oh, my pet rock,
      You rock.

      (by Insouciance, over at http://allpoetry.com/poem/672125 )

      • CLP

        Back in the 70's, my dad designed the box for the original Pet Rock and for little vials of Lochness Lake water.

  • Chubby


  • KYLE!

    #18 Whoever sent those needs to produce more to sell to Chivers!

    • nemesis

      I know. Cunning.

    • Julian Flyn

      Absolutely. Or get them to link through theChivery.

    • Shep.

      I'd buy a bundle of the CAO's!

    • Todd from Indy

      I totally agree!!

  • Kyle Retrato

    #18 MOOOAAAAAARRR!!!!!!

    • Todd from Indy

      That's what I'm saying!!

  • http://gevaaalik.com Stix

    How are people from South Africa supposed to send you free shit? I can't even afford the shipping cost to send you guys a t-shirts from my blog.

    • Angry Kid

      If you can afford a blog t-shirt, you can afford to ship it.

    • SFGene

      nobody wants shit from africa!

      • SA Rocks

        Typical 'Merican, keep your lame small minded comments to yourself.

      • Stef

        Funny… a large part of the world digs our wine.

      • http://www.facebook.com/Shylagr Shyla Gordon-Russell

        Ill bet you think everyone from africa is black, wears a loincloth, and speaks in clicks. God damn racist.

  • Aubrey

    Why is #3 full of Alaskan stuff but it's from Canada?
    -Somebody from Alaska

    • Nardski

      And there's and Alaskan state flag.

    • Amanfromak

      I mean, it even says from Alaska. We don't take too kindly to be called Canadian…

      • Aubrey

        That's what I'm all aboot. I like Canadians don't get me wrong but they are definitely different than Alaskans

  • xXbeermonkeyXx

    #25 after that day, mac the office ninja stopped his loud key-banging while at the computer


    WARNING: that 'pornsite' installs AntiVirus Pro, a hard to remove FAKE anti-virus program that nags a lot ("pay to get non-existent viruses removed") on your computer. DO NOT OPEN THE LINK!!

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Cristi-Palincas/100001225207844 Cristi Palincas

      If someone actually clicks on that link… well, they deserve it.

  • Julian Flyn

    #23 is awesome, also, with #15, you showed what was in the gold eggs, what about the blue? Did I miss something?

  • http://twitter.com/dalton_matt @dalton_matt

    Sorry guys. No Bin Laden photos this time.

  • The Biscuit

    #1 Please can we have a link or something to buy these? I need a chive mirror more than my next round of medication!

  • David Lvarado

    Grew up in the IE…. :/

    • David Alvarado

      Freakin autocorrect *Alvarado

    • DarTH SMITTY

      yeah me too… actually i still live here. and as a server i could always use some pens!!! float them on over, i'll put them to use…

      chive on.

  • its_forge

    No I really honestly do hope you are hit by a bus that crushes your major organs and causes you to have to be fed through a tube for a month until a hospital computer technician finds out who you are and "accidentally" unplugs you.

  • Going 2b called nerd

    Did you throw all those rocks away? That was kind of shitty to post after all the trouble that person did to send you it. Even if you did… to post a pic of it ( #29 )


    • nerd 2.0

      i agree

    • Jazzhammar

      Maybe it was something else, I also think it would be shitty to dump it, after all that effort.

      • Dominican

        i thought the last pic was hilarious

        who the fuck wants rocks?

    • http://www.thechive.com Leo

      Seriously. wtf am I gonna do with a box of rocks. Send me your address and I'll send you a box of rocks.

      • sarah

        You could'a sold em!…
        Or gave one free to the next XXX number of loyal chivers buying your gear!

        Your very own personalised Chive rock!… come on!!

        • sarah

          Plus – it could've been something to give your intern to do! lol

      • Carl Johnson

        You could have written Chive on them with the Sharpies, and scattered them around Los Santos for me to find.

        Grove Street 4 Life

  • mrjimmyos

    #23 hey here's where my order was accidently sent to

  • Emma Oliver

    someone please tell UK Royal Mail to start doing flat rate international post!!!

  • Dunny_

    btw #15 ….. *you're

    • Trevor

      I was going to say it was a good thing he wasn't helping out with her English homework!

  • BaJezzus

    just for the record. I extremely doubt that you had to "make" him wear the ninja outfit. #24
    What self-respecting guy wouldn't be in heaven with a full on ninja outfit WITH MOTHAFUCKIN' WEAPONS?!?!?

    • Bazinga

      I wear scrubs everyday, and I would imagine this is the same. It's like working in pajamas.

    • ** PAULA HATER **

      Hmmm no argument there.

    • Jimmy5923

      100% agree.

  • dOOb

    I wanna be a FUCKIN NINJA!!! :o

  • Bob

    Hi, we're the chive, we make shitloads of money from posting other peoples pictures several times over, please send us some free shit at your own expense……….fucking idiots.

    • man man

      Sounds like the American Dream to me. They take funny shit and hot girls, turn it into profit, all while working with their friends and family. Not sure that qualifies as 'idiot,' more like 'pretty awesome.'

      • aosux

        I think he meant the people that paid to send them shit

    • KyleHeier

      Jealousy… Not Awesome!

    • patov40

      Say hi to your friend Neil.

    • ArTay

      Thanks for the insightful comments Bob, now GTFO.

    • Unoriginal

      This dude couldn't be more right.

  • $1llyW1lly

    #9. I could use me one of those burnt end sammiches from Arthur Bryants right about now.

    • Ben

      Arthur Bryant's is the best barbeque on Earth brother. Conversation over.

    • KC BBQ


    • mith

      glad to see Kansas City represented…

      • Hero_ofthe_Day

        No shit, I almost feel special now. Almost

    • Golfnkc

      I've had Arthur Bryant's twice…hated it both times. They should've sent Oklahoma Joe's sauce. Even Rosedale's or Quick's on 7th is better than Bryant's.

      • Byron Noeth

        Yay for Rosedales, and for KC. represent!

    • 2co57

      Gates ftw!

      • Ryan

        Only thing missing is some Zarda's in there.

        • Mark

          I like Bryants, but nothing beats Haywards BBQ sauce. I get cases of that and hand it out as stocking stuffers at Christmas at work. People love it. I have introduced many cajuns to the greatness of KC BBQ.

  • Mr_Rob

    After #29, the pet rock comunity is sad and dissapointed. Too bad chive…

  • BeefFarmer

    The original post said don't send poop. First box: poop.

    • http://twitter.com/Scandalus @Scandalus

      Scumbag Steve sent that one.

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