Daily Afternoon Randomness (49 Photos)

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  • Brother Maynard

    #3 Yes you are.

    • kikiklas

      Amazingly beautiful eyes! 😀

    • Office Manager

      I sit in my office stroking my cock while looking at the DAR, then wipe the fresh jizm all on my chest. Just thought you'd all like to know. Chive on.

      • The Antichrist

        The fuck's wrong with you?

    • Banksy

      I'D MAKE FUCK TO #3

    • Trez

      Dunno why, but Im thinking this is a painting / CG. Just looks a bit too unreal in places. Those aren't real hands

      • ranD

        either you are correct, and im pretty sure you are, or there is an obscene amount of 'shoppin done here.

    • Anisats

      Who is this girl!?

    • Fabio

      O.M.F.G. find her PLEASE!

  • franco

    #49 not what i was expecting as a closer … but made my day

  • RufioRufioRuFi

    #12 BILL FUCKING MURRAY!!!

    • DirtyGray

      Good Guy Greg, actually.

    • Anon

      Forced attempt at a new meme. It will crash and burn.

    • Blumpkin

      No. "Cool Friend Carl" Shows up with a truck, weed and food! He's invited

    • Bill Murray Fan

      Had more ass than anyone you know or will ever meet.

    • Angry Kid

      TYPE OVERUSED MEME IN ALL CAPS, GET THUMBS UP.

      • AngryKidGoKillUrself

        When have you seen this collage of Bill Murray before on theChive? How is it overused? At least TRY and make sense. Grow up.

        • Angry Kid

          Your name says I should kill myself, but your message says "Grow up." Make up your fucking mind, asshole.

      • RufioRufioRuFi

        Angry Kid, when you turn 17… go watch Zombieland. The scene with Woody Harrelson and Bill Muray is hilarious.

        • Angry Kid

          Rufio, when you come up with something other to than age as a point of satire, I still won't give a shit. P.S. Your avatar is still awful.

          • http://www.facebook.com/people/Dayna-Vaughan/1319192166 Dayna Vaughan

            Youre just full of hate, aren't you Kid. What, did mommy not breastfeed you? Did Daddy diddle you at night? Jesus Christ, every thread has comment after comment of you being an asshole.

  • Random

    #46 that look…..

    • http://www.facebook.com/codealpha Terry Burke

      it's almost like she's inviting you to come with her

      • SweetAwesomeness

        THAT ASS…!!

    • denleendeko

      Name please?

    • V.A.

      Name, anyone?

    • ITR

      her name is Irina Sheik (also known as Irina Shayk)

    • YupYupYup

      Is not for you!!! Get your hand out of your lap and get a friggin' life!!!

  • Paula_

    This part of the comment section is mine. Fuck off and stay out of it. Check this out for more info: http://j.mp/fTtVEr

    Hugs,
    Paula
    – the one you used to date

    • Greg

      Go to the street, wait for a semi-truck, jump in front of it

      • Paula_

        Only blind drivers would dare to run me down, and blind drivers don't drive. So I'm safe there.

        Hugs,
        Paula
        – scaring the bricks right out of the road

    • Trollicide.

      I shall now challenge thee, Thine power is great by i promise thee my annoyances shall over rule.

      Trolls,
      Trollicide
      – the one to challenge even the best of annoyances

      • Paula_

        Bring it. Start here: http://j.mp/iGYnPx

        Hugs,
        Paula
        – still pissed off by the duckfaces of today

    • Backpacks Got Jets

      Paula,

      Eat Poop

      Sincerley,
      EVERYONE

      • Paula_

        Eat shit and die.

        Hugs,
        Paula
        – …is the correct form

        • Angry Kid

          Stop trying to act hard, bitch, you are no Angry Kid.

          • Paula_

            Bow and arrow against the lightning…

            Hugs,
            Paula
            http://j.mp/iGYnPx

          • Trollicide.

            @Paula Doseth thee like the feeling of boners on thine hands? For thats all thy foe got from that little pic there.

            Trolls,
            Trollicide
            – The troll who likes to challenge trolls. :3

            • Paula_

              I used an online translating site to try to turn your drunk crap into proper english. Didn't work; the site complained: "Please do not sit on the keyboard"

              Hugs,
              Paula
              – Next time use english

              • Trollicide.

                Thy foe doesth not know thine meaning of the words "Drunk crap" but i do assure thee that this is "proper" as you would say; it is Shakespearean writing, but if thou canst not understand i shall use thine form of writing; Ur a dumass.

                Trolls,
                Trollicide
                – Just finding out that my foe lacks a high school education.

                • Paula_

                  "Ur a dumass". Wow, 3 errors in such a small sentence. U=You, r=are, dumass=dumbass.
                  Yet somehow you were the fastest sperm once, very, very hard to believe.

                  Hugs,
                  Paula
                  – Error: keyboard not found. Press F1 to continue.

    • Ryan Smith

      now this is more like it Paula! keep up…err down..the thumbs

    • Catalystika

      I understand what you're going through Paula. You're having an identity crisis. Lately you've been getting thumbs up all over the place, so to define yourself you had to go back to what you're comfortable with… thumbs down en masse. You've shown that you can be a nice poster, so why the thirst for everyone's venom? I'm just kidding, of course.

      Either way you're funny as all hell, so you keep posting and I'll keep reading it.

      • Paula_

        Nah I don't care about the thumbs, but everyone: feel free to keep thinking that they're really really important to me… for whatever reason. Yes, they mean everything to me. That's it. I pay my bills with them. Order hookers for + thumbs. Decorate the cave with them.
        BTW I'm borrowing something of you for my tagline.

        Hugs,
        Paula
        – funny as all hell but we do not have identity crisisses nor split personalities

        • Catalystika

          Oh, I know. You've mentioned that a few times, hence the "just kidding" near the end of my post. You know, if negative thumbs were a currency though… you could be the Suze Orman of negative commenting and teach people how to make a lucrative career out of it.

          PS — I wonder what a good hooker would cost in up thumbs?

  • a chiver

    #44 Tell you mom awesome job, also, your the cutest audio challenged chivette I've met in a while

    • Matt

      you never met her, you read something she wrote online.

    • Flyer

      Very cute indeed

    • dzine

      also, find her!

    • Edge

      Should have been submitted to Daily Morning Awesomeness – because she is a truly awesome person with awesome daughters.

      I hope people see how that works – parents setting examples of what it is to be awesome usually get awesome children.

    • Paula_

      WHAT?

      Hugs,
      Paula
      – the one that didn't hear you

      • Freaked-out chiver.

        Wait, wait, wait am i the only one who realized that she married her twin sister?

        • LAZYN8R

          Uhhhh… what?

    • Chive_On

      Fuck all the haters. I think she's awesome for submitting this. Happy belated Mother's Day.

    • funkyf

      I think she deserves to be chivette of the week. Who's with me? 🙂

  • aosux

    #3 Love the green eyes

    • RAS

      Has my vote.

    • Wantedsoul

      Yeah, they would look real good in a jar.

  • JAPIV

    #16 I will play you the song of my people…You will not be pleased.

    • blacksun919

      where are the black shirts?????

      • hMMMM

        apparently you must turn to the black market *no pun intended

    • asdf

      and then expect you to write me the poem of your people… in the form of a cease and desist letter and a law suit for copyright infringement

      • iloveQuatchi

        Well he's in Kenya…

    • bennyboy

      bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

    • http://twitter.com/Scandalus @Scandalus

      I think it's fucking awesome that the Chive not only doesn't get pissed that he recreated their shirt, they posted it here for all to see. Thanks for being the anti-douche, Chive!

      • trollface.jpg

        scumbag kenya … goes out and starts selling them online.

        lolol jk, I'm tired of waiting – I would seriously make one too.
        chive on.!

  • Robi5150

    #29
    I totally would!

    • Arros777

      WHO IS SHE!!

    • Adam

      I could go for moar of her

    • RamRod

      Why would anyone not?

    • Jason

      Brazilian, you can tell by her bikini bottoms…. im actually talking about the style of the bottoms not the gardening that may or may not be performed below.

    • Ugh

      Fat thighs and hairy arms? No thanks. Stop this fat shit, Chive, it's not funny any more.

      • Flyer

        Fat?? I'd go with sexy as hell

      • http://www.facebook.com/people/Kyle-Shubert/100000681927439 Kyle Shubert

        Let's just go with: "Very good child bearing hips."

        They don't look bad at all though.

        • its_forge

          It's not the hips, it's the thighs. Those are epic thighs. Not that there's anything wrong with epic thighs.

      • Djma

        I can see if she's not your type, but what's wrong with some normal-looking hair on the arms? Who the fuck shaves their arms unless they've got gorilla hair?

      • http://www.facebook.com/heberc Heber A. Coll

        "Ugh, a woman who doesn't look like a Barbie doll, do not want" *forever alone*

        • Angry Kid

          She not only doesn't look like a Barbie doll, but more like a mythical half elephant half woman beast.

      • http://www.facebook.com/people/Roberto-Barreiro/100000002013938 Roberto Barreiro

        chive postedm #34 for you! have fun with the bones

        • JANDRO

          F'n EAT!!!

      • its_forge

        The door, let me show you it.

    • pdiddily420

      Smallest…..Gap…..Ever.

    • dave

      yuck

    • b-ry

      meh, i'd fuck her face.

      • Dee

        i'd hit it two times

        • Nate

          You'd have to hit it least twice to cover that much ground.

          Kidding. She's sexy as all hell, but I couldn't resist.

    • lfsg

      and yet I think I love those huge legs….

    • moose_nutz

      Fuck yeah I would too!

    • ChrisJ5285

      YEP JUST SEXED HER DOWN IN MY MIND…..

    • allanb

      FIND HER PLEASE?

    • rich

      she has thunder thighs.

      • Flava

        Bring on the lightning.

    • tag

      Weird build…clearly big, but in a strangely proportional way….but still no

    • Kapow

      Funny thing is, she probably wouldn't.

    • Brad

      this is the kind of woman that should get breast implants (imho) to even out her proportions…

      • tralfaz

        So she won't fall over backwards.

    • Surf and Snow

      Hell no! I wouldnt even screw that with your dick. Beached whale.

      • Anonymous

        That comment barely meets the minimum requirements for making sense.

        • MacNCheesePro

          It barely meets the minimum requirements to be an excuse for being in the closet.

      • http://www.facebook.com/people/Roberto-Barreiro/100000002013938 Roberto Barreiro

        #34 for your enjoyment

    • Jay

      MOAR!!!!

    • thatguy

      Ela é como anaconda: só tem rabo.

      • http://www.facebook.com/people/Roberto-Barreiro/100000002013938 Roberto Barreiro

        em inglês é melhor para todos perceberem! He said "she´s like and Anaconda, all tail"

        • its_forge

          That would figure that Brazilians have a catchphrase for someone with a big butt.

      • tralfaz

        Speak Merican.

    • danno

      yeh, i'm not even sure why you had to point out that you would.

    • diggity doc

      twice! God, I LOVE that shape!

    • zanno

      find heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeer

    • amrith777

      Thunder thighs RAWK!!

    • Tre

      MUST …HAVE…MORE OF THIS! !

  • BARTMAN

    I want to photoshop #11

    • S&S

      Wand-to-Mouth

    • Jak

      Go for it

    • #387

      Could you close your mouth just a bit………..your making me feel inadequate.

    • Motte

      With what? Like a penis or something?

    • Heywoodjablowme

      she can hufflepuff on my slytherin anytime.

    • Biggus Diccus

      Just print it out and cut a hole in it

    • Admiral Ackbar

      1 Invisible Penis.

    • Stupid_Donkey

      That is a fine looking dickholster.

  • FlyingSpagMonst

    #29
    Fatty

    • Mr_Rob

      Yet prettier than your mother or your sister, or your imaginary girlfriend, or whoever you know, shithead.

      Girl in the picture, you are awesome.

      • Angry Kid

        LMAO. I hope you were being sarcastic. Compared to a grenade, this thing is like a WMD. Do not want.

        • Kapow

          I feel fairly certain you want Haterade's "grenades" dropped in your fucking mouth.

        • Hater_Aid

          That chick is sexy. You don't know what you're talking about little kid.

          • Angry Kid

            I'm not all that "little" if you know what I mean… and if you don't… go ask your mom.

            • KeyserSoze

              Haha, go back to your room in your mom's basement and play some nintendo… Your dick is like a stack of dimes…. Hater_Aid's mom said so, right after she pointed and laughed at it. I think her quote was "OH MY GOD!!! It's just like a penis, only smaller!"

              • What

                Worst. Insult. Ever.

              • b-ry

                wow. i hate Angry Kid, but after that, i just feel downright sorry for you…..

            • JohnnyDoGood

              HAHA, let's analyze he's name.

              Angry: probably because his mom forgot to pack his Lunchables this morning.

              Kid: because seriously who refers to themselves as a kid after 16 or 17. Also, from his previous post, located above, he uses the lingo "grenade" and "WMD", certainly a 14 year old KID, would definitely quote the Jersey Shore, especially quotes from "the Situation."

              • Douche

                Kid Cudi

              • Douche

                Kevin Garnett aka The Kid

              • Douche

                Ken Griffey Jr.

              • Douche

                Kid 'n Play

              • Douche

                Johnny didn't do so good on his troll attempt.

        • JPC

          Using the term "grenade." I could always tell you were a douchebag from your comments. Now I know you're a Jersey Shore douchebag.

          • Angry Kid

            You got me.

      • joe

        bo bo phet is cool. are you a virgin?

        • Mr_Rob

          No. Do you mister no-face-or-picture-at-all-douche-bag?

    • theRealRealist

      so…I'm pretty sure I'd hit it…I'm pretty sure you're also gay if you wouldnt.

    • James

      Angry Kid is trolling obviously. If this girl is a "WMD" or whatever bullshit Jersey Shore guinea talk you are using, I'd hate to see the girls you find attractive.

      • Angry Kid

        You see them all the time, in the Sexy Chivers posts. None of them are even remotely as fat as this girl or the other fatties they've been posting lately. I don't think you know what "trolling" means, but based on your comment, I don't expect much from you.

        • James

          Angry Kid is trolling obviously. If this girl is a "WMD" or whatever bullshit Jersey Shore guinea talk you are using, I'd hate to see the girls you find attractive.

          Ya got me there….

    • Kodos

      like peanut butter… CHUNKY-STYLE

    • aosux

      The arm hair is a turn off, not the thighs

    • Knuckledonkey

      I'll spend 3 days in a little hut on the beach with her and then * poof *, I'm gone.

      • tralfaz

        Ah yeah I forgot the Rapture.

    • bumblefish1985

      she wouldn't be my number 1 choice, I like my women fit, but thats just my preference. This girl is sexy none the less and I would absolutely have sex with her.

    • JEBUS

      I REALLY HOP THIS ISNT ANOTHER PHOTOSHOP JOB!

    • Rick

      /MOAR! =D I prefer my women w/ a lil meat on their bones ^_~

    • Capitalsfan74

      You'd fuck her. Don't even act like you wouldn't.

    • RustyNailz

      Gross! What is wrong with you people? I would not let a junk-yard dog hump her.

    • Daaaa

      She's not fat, you're too small.

  • Johnny Tsunami

    #22 zombie proof?

    • Jason

      no. flood proof.

      • Blumpkin

        What? You build on a hill to be flood proof. Not in a hole

        • Flava

          I'm pretty sure it wasn't a hole to start out with…plus, im pretty sure that dike is just a hill surrounding the house.

      • Master Chief

        Flood are Zombies

    • Gibby

      Man, a lot of hard work went into that, must have been tired cause he slept in and forgot to put any of his cars inside not to mention the tractor he used to make it……..

    • oasis

      Nope, I think zombies can get to ya.

    • HUH?

      lets see, 100grand worth of work to save a 10grand house. must have been the government.

      • Hemi

        no just 'merica

      • IronEagle119

        It's not 100K of work if you own the damn tractor/bulldozer.

    • yuri

      unless they can swim

    • Moby

      Not even remotely

  • Sack

    Chivers are dumb.

    • b-ry

      yeah, they really are.

      • actually b-ry

        fuck you whoever keeps using my name. think of your own. douche.

    • aosux

      That was a well stated, obviously thought out, insult. How DID you come up with it?

      • Sack

        Mostly by reading Chivers' comments. It wasn't difficult.

  • brazzers

    #10 Chive Wins

    • KyleRetrato

      That just about tops every damn Oreo photo on the internet.

      • GK-4

        unless……
        Beyonce
        Emma Watson
        Halle Berri

    • nnn

      LOL I hope that's the brazzers I'm thinking of

    • navyadam

      Brought a tear to my eye… but not over the spilled milk!

    • me!

      Hands down! Chive is victorious!

    • amrith777

      And it's CHIVE for the WIN!! 'UMMY!!

  • http://twitter.com/winfields @winfields

    #10 officially still a virgin

    • steve

      who is she? and it looks like she lactated all over

      • dariuss

        bryci

  • https://www.facebook.com/people/Linda-Faigao-Hall/100000157046845 Linda Faigao-Hall

    #10

    She clearly wins but … where exactly did she put the stuffed Oreo?

    • Lleamen

      Take a wild guess, friend…

    • TRXDOUT GRAND V

      I have her stuffed oreo right he…hey what am I saying, she's swimming in my milk!

    • HUH?

      dont worry, i will make sure something gets stuffed.

      • Dr_StrangePants

        Cream Her Cookie, shall you?

    • Pwndu232

      In her mouth, of course. Where esle would she put it?

  • RunDummyRun

    Scawy!
    #34

    • Jim

      Very disturbing

      • G-Mo

        Anorexic? Eh. . . Rich Bitch Don't Wanna Eat? Fuck Her!
        Late Great George Carlin.

        That is All

    • ROK247

      what happened? somebody call the sandwich patrol STAT

      adriana is looking damn healthy though ROWR

    • pdiddily420

      Ironic that she replaced Megan Fox in Transformers because supposedly Megan was "too skinny".
      Looks like this chic has "transformed" into a girl that desperately needs a sammich!

    • tom a

      get her some sandwiches…

    • sexoffender

      she looks great…

      • Jak

        I'm not entirely sure why but this made me crack up

        • Bryan

          Probably because his name is sexoffender

      • min

        creepy weirdo!

    • Hater_Aid

      I pray to God (and Jesus) that this is 'shopped.

      What a sad, sad shame if it isn't…

      • D.I.

        It isn't I saw this pic in TMZ news not too long ago, they were concerned because she got really skinny really fast.

    • Brian

      Scurvy!

    • the_junglist

      If she sneezes, she's going to snap her back.

    • shwan

      i saw a different pic of these 3 standing up from the same photoshoot and she looked fine. Its either shopped or its the angle of the shot.

      • bbcn22

        No it's not photoshop, people have been talking about her weight for a while now unfortunately

    • Nastee

      First off – name is Swanepoel, not Swanpeol.
      Second… not another one. How come these women feel this looks good? I know it's a disorder, but damn.

    • yuri

      i was gonna say nice gap but then i looked at the rest of her

    • amrith777

      Just my opinion but I am not attracted to women that are this skinny.She has the opposite of 'butter face'.

    • MealsonWheels

      Adriana Lima and Alessandra Ambrossio are both MUCH more attractive and naturally beautiful! The got curves in all the right places! If I were a man I'd be scared to break the one in the middle in half!

  • alejandra

    #7 John, you look sexy.

    • lauren

      i ❤ john

      is that abe lincoln jamming out on his shirt?

    • GWETE

      he looks like a dumbo-rat. google it and tell me he doesn't.

      • innuit

        .he does pretty well for a dumbo rat

      • pete

        GWETE is presumably talking about the still photos from John's recurring role as the deputy on True Blood. must be nice to have your 'other job' be a hit television show. i guess some people get paid a lot of $ to look like dumbo rats 🙂 haters gonna hate

        • Elbie

          you mean #27

          • GWETE

            still haven't told me "he doesn't".

    • Gorgoroth13

      Well this picture of you being drunk doing the DAR explains a lot. You guys recycle so many pictures I've finally had to post about it. It used to be that you would wait a week to re-use a pic you already posted but recently, as evidenced by pic #1, you don't even wait a day and instead repost pictures from the morning randomness. I know it must be real hard to sit on membase and 4chan all day and rip stuff off their sites but the least you could is not constantly repost them.
      An increasingly less loyal Chiver

      • lando

        i don't go to 4chan. thank got somebody will wade through that mess to glean a few gems. as for the DAR, when it started it was 100% scraped. it has more and more original content every day.

        btw, 4chans log line, the first thing you see, is 'Everyday is a Repost'

      • walk away

        i see a lot of original stuff from the chive on 4chan. hell, last week might as well have been called 'reverse hoverhand week on 4chan'

        you can thank the chive for all those photos. point is, the chive, chans, and reddit sit atop of the online photo ecosystem. the main difference between the chive and the rest is that the chivers don't think entertainment should be inclusive. and it's not like i'm on 4chan at work. if you don't like a DAR like the one you just saw, which was pretty amazing imho, then maybe the chive isn't for you

        • hMMMM

          I personally only visit theChive (like many others), so I don't even know if this shit is original or a repost. Chive serves its purpose perfectly for me.

      • parlay

        *huff* 'You guys recycle so many pictures I've finally had to post about it'

        uh oh!!!

      • macy

        good luck finding a site with a vibe like the chive, gorgoroth.

        • amrith777

          ^ This.That is all.

      • TIZ

        TOo long did not read

        • #387

          agreed too many words! brevity is the heart of wit.

    • bsbetty

      agreed!!!!

    • Jayne

      Alejandra… I agree. Cheers!

  • Paula_

    #8 there's a difference between high key and overexposure. High key looks nice.

    Hugs,
    Paula
    – underexposed

    • UserName

      GTFO, Paula

    • GRyde

      There's a filter for that. It's called GTFO.

    • BULLDOG

      am i doing this right? FUCK OFF PAULA!!!

    • jeff

      paula is a meth head $2 hooker. lose 250 lbs and shut you cunt mouth.

      • Paula_

        The only reason I charge you only $2 is because you're so fucking ugly I know no other woman will have you. I just feel sorry for you, that's why.

        Hugs,
        Paula
        – no group discounts

  • Mr_Rob

    #10 fair enough. Think we have a winner!!

    • Adam

      GOOD LORD MILK DOES A BODY GOOD.

  • Pirate

    Darrrrrrrr matey

  • Stick 2 Stick

    #34 – Ok, just this once. Go ahead and make yourself a sandwich.

    • the_junglist

      Might want to make it a cheeseburger……. a double-double

    • Wantedsoul

      But on the other hand, she would be real easy to dismember and eat. I'm guessing there would be meat for about 2 weeks. (actually not a guess, more of a calculation based on previous meals)

      • Kapow

        Hey Wantedsoul, I'm going to find Haterade's, Paula's, Angry Kid's, and COCO's addresses for you. Do you have a fucking deep-freeze?

        • Kapow

          P.S. Maybe you should reconsider and change your ways. Haven't you heard that Judgment Day is May 21, 2011?

  • jimmy

    #13 Reason I do not like cats.

    • smallchinaman

      You only have one reason to not like cats?

      • jonathan

        One of many for me.

        • McBeastie

          Yeah, all those neighbors cats keeping you up at night barking all night long, the shit in the yard some asshole didn't bother to pick up, how they run at you and slobber all over you and smell horrible, cats waking you up in the middle of the night making you go outside so they can defecate, all those stories of illegal cat fights, cats getting loose and maiming toddlers, being deathly afraid of a stray cat walking towards me on the street….yeah…cat's are horrible.

          • duh

            Nailed it

          • MacNCheesePro

            You make a damn good point and I'm a dog person. Which is why I like a few select large dogs but mostly dogs that are not much bigger than cats, lol

    • Motte

      That's like reason #46 down on my list.

  • JohnsScarf

    #46
    Has that "F Me Now" look to her – wish I could

  • Edgar Gaspar

    Ahhh fuck yeah. Just what I needed for my day. Thank you chive. Thank you.

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