Daily Morning Awesomeness (20 Photos)

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  • Qwerty

    First, suckas!

    • Evan

      I highly doubt you were the first sucker out there…!

    • Wantedsoul

      Is it weird that i want to smash your face with a rock, while masturbating?

      • mojomojo444

        Errrrrr yes it is. Very

    • idgaf

      get a fucking life

      • Mr. Mean

        OH YES! The one you have seems to be fucking awsome….Interwebs angry guy.

        • Chiefs420

          OH SNAP!!!! Another gem from Mr. Queef!!!!! He got you good!!!!!!!!!

          You seem to like calling other people internet angry guy when all you do is troll. Poorly too I might add.

          Insert dumb fucking comment here ↓

          • Mr. Mean

            Look here ugly lady. I only reply to jackass's such as yourself. Your annonimity makes you bold. I would hazzard to guess that in person you take it in the ass. Why? You cant do anything about it. You appear here thusly spouting hatred you would other wise get your ass caved in for. You say I troll badly, I still have you on the line….

            • Chiefs420

              Couldn't help yourself.:)

              • Mr. Mean

                I see what u did there, and no I couldn't. For you, I will never resist an oppertunity for a rebuttal. 😉

                • Chiefs420

                  Well then. We seem to have come to an understanding. I also will not resist an oppOrtunity.

                  btw: I don't think "rebuttal" means what you think it does

                  • Mr. Mean

                    Rebuttal – A reply intended to show fault in an opponent's argument.

                    All we do is argue, therefore I believe I utilized the word in proper context.

                    As for the spelling of oppOrtunity, well…..kiss my ass. Till we meet agian hippie.

                    • Chiefs420

                      You see there. I figured it was what you called the vigorous bouts of anal sex you and your cellie engage in. You never cease to amaze me Mean. agAIn and agAIn

  • Digory doo

    That sloth is pretty damn ugly

    • mojomojo444

      How dare you Sir, how very dare you. Patty's losing pounds by the day

    • Blumpkin

      Sloths are AWESOME!

  • 2theblackhole

    #12 thats her laughing at your small dick

    • VB March

      he is punch above his weight

    • failrater

      See! people do take their hot cousins to their prom to show off.

      … and i may be a little jelly. 😦

    • Ryan

      Are you factoring in for adjusted penis size, or T.M.I.?

    • Oshkosh

      Haters be hating

    • ebits21

      Probably the opposite, she's clearly better looking than him!

    • YourJealousisShowing

      Hahaha see this is proof that even nerds (typically well-hung) get hot girls and assholes are frequently jealous.
      I speak from the experience of being a well-hung nerd who's banged some hotties in my day.

  • bubbakush

    i get new chive before bed? its gonna be a good night!

  • plop

    i wouldn't mind if the girl in #12 was found…

    • bull1123

      couldn't agree more!

    • spaaaaaarkit

      find her yet?

    • Molteninjabob

      Just to reiterate…..please find her!

      • Patches

        Pedobear approves.

  • Stephan Hahn

    #21 made me happy somehow

    • Fawx

      It creeps me out. Kind of reminds of the baby off, The Grudge

    • JstevensF

      Altruism always makes me smile

    • Airwalktdk

      it was the sloth's spread out pose that did it for me while he was being carried…

      • McBeastie

        my favorite part too. almost like he thought he was flying.

        • And the sloth says..

          Wheeee!!!!!

        • #387

          Slow the Fu** down!

      • DistractedIndividual

        Yeah, looks like he thouroughly enjoyed going that fast:) I lol'd

    • Kaiwatha

      sloths are slow but have a mean grip….

    • KyleRetrato

      He must've been like 'HOLY SHIT SO FUCKING FAST!!!!'

      • Smitty

        Pretty much my thoughts too:

        Doo doo doo, imma sloth crossing the road. Gonna take a while…
        Wait… WTF is going on?
        OH MY GOD, THE SPEED! WHEEEEEEE!.
        Awww, crap. it's over.

        Doo doo doo, imma sloth that crossed the road with magic, suckas.

    • http://www.facebook.com/whitney.southworth whitneysouth

      I want a sloth so bad. I would love one as a house pet.
      Orrr would I?

      I'll be honest.
      I know nothing about sloths.
      But, that doesn't make me want one any less.

      • turdfergusson

        Why aren't you naked yet?

        PATTY!!!! GET TO WORK!

      • Jr.

        they move so slow moss grows on them.

    • Jr.

      agreed. although me thinks the sloth was a bit freaked out by the sudden acceleration…
      sloths are awesome!

  • mojomojo444

    #12

    HOW!!??!!

    • That Guy

      or WHY!!??!!

    • PhunkasaurusRex

      Genius. N'uff said.

  • MigraineBoy

    #1 Morning wood… 😀

    • Johnnygolately

      SIR!! Queen Latifah's dildo be ready

    • RamRod

      …you might need some help peeing in the toilet

    • Julien

      All appropriate responses to Chuck Norris' penis

  • caleb

    #16 eff i'd like to see it bite off the Mel Gibson lookalike's hand

    • mojomojo444

      It is Mel Gibson, He's shouting at isn't he.

    • http://echogeo.wordpress.com/ echogeo

      "Oh, I saw the whole thing, dude! First, you were like, whoa! And then we were like, WHOA! And then you were like, whoa. You've got serious thrill issues dude… awesome!…."

      • name's Crush

        awesome man ;))))

    • hmmm

      Dudes name is Nigel Marven. Did the series Prehistoric Park. Look him up.

  • farz

    #22 mmm rabbit…

    • :^)

      Hasenpfeffer

    • RGH

      Thanks Chive! Hilarious!

    • equalizermax

      Nheeeeeee….. What's Up Doc?……

    • http://www.facebook.com/i.am.jason.bell Jason Bell

      I LOL'd so hard at this for some reason

    • bugs bunny

      Laughed at it for like 5mins tnx chive made my day 😀

  • Paula_

    Must…. Have…. #19…!
    Looks great for family dinners.

    Hugs,
    Paula
    – the one zombies are afraid of

    • Vj Tony

      Paula, it has come to my attention lately that your comments are becoming increasingly funny and lack their usual trollness. Are you feeling ill? Everything okay at home?

      Feel better soon.

      • Paula_

        Of fuck off, can't a troll have up-days? I just ate some live spring lambs, that's why.
        Take a look here: http://j.mp/fTtVEr

        Hugs,
        Paula
        – what goes up must come down

        • DistractedIndividual

          Love that site….Fall for it every time:)

          • Paula_

            1,715 views so far, that's how many people I sent there xD

            Hugs,
            Paula
            – knowing exactly who thumbs it up and down too

  • Cabron Hernandez

    #22 OMG! The bunny made me lol so hard!

    • http://echogeo.wordpress.com/ echogeo

      It caught me off guard.

  • Justin Hall

    #15

    He looks like he's asking himself the same question we all do when theChive posts hot Asian "women."

    • DCMOFO

      "Ok, what's bigger, her Adams Apple or her penis"?

    • http://echogeo.wordpress.com/ echogeo

      hahaha

    • Paula_

      Whenever Chive posts exotic women I first scroll down to the end to avoid awkward fapping accidents.

      Hugs,
      Paula
      – The It

      • hMMMM

        This comment is a little too normal for you.

        • Paula_

          I have to be mild today; will be talking to John later to see if they'll let me back in to the office.

          Hugs,
          Paula
          – the creature under the stairs

  • Josh Gorter

    #12 wtf I can not figure out why that girl is with that guy. It has nothing to do with his look but the douche baggier of doing the superman thing.

    • Mr. Loaf

      If you ever get a girlfriend, you might understand.

    • jimbee

      it's because he's Superman

    • graysauce

      Well Josh, if you can't see the humor in it its probably why you don't have a hot chick on your arm. Funny guys get hot girls.

      • http://www.facebook.com/MacheteJack Carl R. Evans

        We call this "The Jessica Rabbit Syndrome." And it works.

        And it's AWESOME.

    • cmonstur

      how does this make him a douchebag? look at his face. he's awesome.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Diego-Aguillon/525002363 Diego Aguillon

      She is with him because he can probably spell "douche baggery", unless you meant to say his douche bag is baggier than yours, which I apologize if that's the case. Now if you are thirsty there is haterade in the fridge.

  • The Biscuit

    How can you get a picture as big as #22 but not a wallpaper that doesn't fill my screen without pixelising?

    • This Is Me

      I was just looking at the "big wallpapers" post and wondering the same thing. I do not think the word means what they think it means. (There's an easy joke there.)

    • GK-4

      you get the same picture and stack 13 times next to eachother

    • Anon

      Go to a wallpaper site then.

      Let chive stick to the lulz

    • Scurvydawg

      Width is limited to what the layout of the site will allow. Height doesn't need to follow such a hard limit because the layout will adjust vertically with no problems.

  • tommybhoy

    #13 Would have been more epic if you actually went like that

    • Badfish

      Yeah but I still thought it was funny.

    • RiHugh

      Awesome

  • zach

    i lol'd too much at #17….

    • schralehond

      And that's not even the whole strip!

    • LineHog

      I'm still laughing, thats was funnnnnney.

  • Rip Vanwinkle

    #21 E.T. Crawl home?

  • MORAN

    # 12 FIND HER!!!

  • Pufffdragon

    #12 Find Her!!

    • Dapper Dave

      agreed.

      • Some Dude

        Her name is stephanie morgan of deer creek Ohio. youre welcome.

        • Molteninjabob

          You oughta do one better and send the Chive her contact info.

  • 2857

    oh. werr, werr, werr. herro.
    #15

  • El_Capitano_Boz

    #16 " I Iike turtles"

    • V4Vendetta14

      Ha Ha, but that one would bite you in half…

  • Badfish

    #10 It would be pretty classic if that person got a job as a result of having that photo posted on the chive. Will somebody give that RPG programmer a job?

    Also, they better be talking about rocket propelled grenades, and not some nerdy games.

    • tim

      They're probably talking about the RPG programming language, so none of the above.

    • Blumpkin

      She should probably try submitting resume's. I heard that can get you a job. But then again programmers are a dime a dozen now

  • xXbeermonkeyXx

    #15 i dunno girl, show me how far are you willing to go to become a real model?

  • nkb

    #22 made me LOL at 2am

    • http://www.facebook.com/swhelden Scott Whelden

      made me LOL at 12:14 AM

    • DistractedIndividual

      Made me LoL at 9:30am

    • RamRod

      I'm not really sure what the time has to do with it

      • hMMMM

        Team RamRod…HAHA! "I'm freaking outtttt, mannnnnnnn"

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