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Daily Afternoon Randomness (45 Photos)

May 26, 2011 | In: DAR, Random

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Question

If God can do anything, can He make a mountain which is too heavy for Him to lift?

Brother Maynard

Only on Tuesday.
bryanbarbeau

Freshman philosophy, anyone?
http://www.myspace.com/theamericanmaniacs BentWrenches

if god is omnipotant,can he microwave a burrito so hot even he cannot eat it?
Where DARRRRRRR

wtf does that even mean?
Anon

That's stupid. Of course not, because it would be so huge it would no longer be a mountain, it would be a planet, which would then be a star, which would then go supernova and become a black hole, and in any event, once it's a planet or bigger you can't "lift"… you can just move it around in space.
http://www.facebook.com/silaw89 Simon James Law

Read a similar one before. God would make the mountain then find the strength to lift it, the one I read was about making a sandwich to big to eat and then eating it.
it5ju5talx

If God were real, then he would be able to change the laws of physics. Probably just make the mountain lift itself. Mission accomplished.
http://twitter.com/StrongAsMeat @StrongAsMeat

If you ate yourself would you be twice as fat or disappear completely?
Vin

Been there, did that. – Chuck Norris
amrith777

What is the sound of one hand clapping?
Answer

I don't know, but if He can i hope he makes it right over your head…

Evan

#27 Any guesses here, Chivers?

Craig

I know what I want her to be saying…
monkeynuts

Make my piss or we're going to fall out?
Surgere

"My pencil will fall out." Hilarious episode
Mike

My breast will fall out when I do you Mike
Dood

My breasts want the fuck out.

disturbed

Haha – winner!

my5tika1cll

"My breast will fall out" ??
Enough stop it

She's saying something? I didn't notice.

Joel

This

Anon

"My breasts want to fall out!"

/end
snowbird

"taste the rainbow"
Stan2pp

" My breasts were falling out!! "

http://twitter.com/dalton_matt @dalton_matt

That's what I got too.

http://www.myspace.com/theamericanmaniacs BentWrenches

"my pants are going to fall off"
Darth Hater

Something something, we're gonna find out
Zack

"My breasts were falling out"
EnriqueTPenguin

"My pants will fall down," which I think is Aramaic for, "I'm hot. Look at my fantastic rack"
Eric

My breasts will just fall out
bigmikeskinsfan

my breasts were falling out.
Mookie

im hard of hearing and read lips… shes saying "my pens would fall out"

DanielB

Impressive mookie

Jason

My backs about to fall out!
Mike

#27 Here is the clip, episode "Cooperative Calligraphy" ::
jason in pc

my breasts just want the f$ck out
Hich

Something something "the fuck out"… Can't tell the first part.
whatsmyhouse

Doesn't matter
Paula_

"My body was just farting loud!" ?

Hugs,
Paula
- farting LOUDER
doublepants

Damn. My guess was "I'm going to punch you in the face, Howard."

I am not a lip reader I guess.
Wordski

She says "my breast are falling out". its from the tv show "community" and its in reference to her being a prude and always covering up her body.

Kool Aid

Wrong

erinnnbabeey

http://daftpunk.themaninblue.com/
paul

shes saying "my pen wouldnt fall out" the whole story was around her pen and how someone stole it
Alchy

My parents would freak out
Ryan

Why do we care what her lips are doing in this gif?
TitoRigatoni

Pretty sure she's saying "Wow, Tito, that thing is huge! I'm not sure I can take all of it, but I really wanna try!"
Tim

"My breasts were falling out"
WirelessCable

I am no good a reading lips in slow mo
I read- My brother would have f*cked you
What she said- My pen will fall out
adam

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NUO0jkq-4ak
chadbring

"My breasts are going to fall out"
adam

come on bitch, wanna fuck now
jcx

my breasts were fallin out
http://www.facebook.com/switchedon9 Brittany Shaffer

my pants will fall down

learned on TheChive

Ah, yeah. She is from this show in the 70's called Happy Days and ah, her name is Joannie and she loves this guy Chachi, but he always makes her wear a shirt, so she says, "This is women's lib and I'm gunna let it all hang out!" (god, there's some dummies up in the hissee).

YOU"RE WELCOME. Tell your friends (both of em).

http://www.facebook.com/people/Dan-Hewett/1136641496 Dan Hewett

jiggling. she's jiggling. next?
ska

"bang me motherfucker"
Rusty

"my bad, you wanna fuck now"
Er0cK85

"im Upset"……bubbles from trailer park boys
Heather

Kinda looks like she's saying "My breasts will fall out!"
Biggus Diccus

I just want to fill it out

Biggus Diccus

My breasts will fill it out

Allie Cheese

My penis was falling out…
johkur

"My breasts will fall down." She's predicting her own future.
anon

My breasts will fall out!
Jessica

She's saying… " My Breasts Will Fall Out"
amrith777

Who cares?It's sexaay as Hell!!
Harold

My pants will fall down
randy

my penis might fall out
psilo911

"my breasts will fall out"
Aaron

My bad! do you want to fuck now?
dcw

i want it to be "my breasts will fall out" or "my pants will fall down"
skiffen

i think she is saying my breast will fall out, or is that just me?

Brother Maynard

#10 Sorry dude, you lose. Lauren trumps any high school senior.

equalizermax

Is that Patty again?
erinnnbabeey

http://daftpunk.themaninblue.com/
Bud Ugly

I'm not a high school senior, but Lauren can trump me any day.
Surf and Snow

I disagree. There were much hotter girls in my senior class. Lauren is a 7. Mayyyybe an 8. Shes not a 9 or 10. You guys dont get out much, huh.

The Real D. Nozzle

THIS! a thousand times, this.
Lotus

Seconded, the chive needs more good ol' randomness less lauren

brian

#10, #11

(i think the chive is trying to tell you something)
muahahaha

not first!
Average Chiver

GET. HER. A. SAMMIIIIIIIIIIIIIICH!

#45

EZP

pffff please, you still would …
Anon

Yeah, a sammich called my cock.
Captnjack

Shouldn't that be the other way around?

ISWYDT

I see what you did there.

guest

SHE'S PERFECT

El numero uno

#45 ME GUSTA MUCHO!!

BARTMAN

a mi tambien (",)

DAZ is a FAG!

#45

wow…

k-9

ya…
Kurosan

Perfection

God

Thank me.

Satan

Hell no, you suck.

God

Fuck you, Satan. I made you! Your mom says "hi" by the way. I heard you still have AOL down there, SUCKA!

Lucifer

You also made Snooki. And you're supposed to be the 'good' guy…

goddam it

#19

Chive, you bastards, i just sat there waiting for an awesome video to play

jeffrey dahmer

i hate who made this.
ale

worst, I clicked…

Adi

yeh me too kept clicking lol they got us this time
aBg_rOnGak

Dang! I clicked too…luckily my officemate din notice
Catbra

I clicked too. I didn't want to click. I though, nah, it should have loaded, but Internet access in Australia sucks and drops out a lot. So I clicked……. Damn you!

OhSomeEvil

A cruel prank, chive wins.
The Frock Says

Yeah I clicked too lol. Bastards!!
Bhodi

Run time is 6:66, coincidence?
thing

Well played Chive
sureman123

you Tube… so true .. so true
KCJake

Fun fact: If you select a real YouTube video, use your arrow keys while the circle is spinning and you can play snake.

Trollface

The Chive steals from Reddit.

Justin O'Brien

*takes deep breath*

You'll notice that, right now, the top story in reddit/r/pics is of the photobomber the chive posted two days ago. Even reddit has widely acknowledged that they take stuff from the chive. know why? because the road goes both ways.

But what really bothers me about that mentality is this: why would a redditor get mad if they uploaded a photo to share with other redditors – of which there are millions – and it ends up somewhere else. It's an absurd notion, and moreover, it's inclusive. The chivers could care less if reddit steals from us b/c those photos make people smile. so get off your 'steal' high horse and lemme welcome you to the internet.

- a redditor
bryanbarbeau

trollface steals from Paula

Trollface

Paula is my bitch. Always has been, always will be.

craigarlen

you ever stop to think maybe, just maybe, people send things to both the chive and reddit?
Dustin Diamond

I poop in the toilet of someone else. Same thing.
zoomum3

OMG who cares if it was on Reddit or anywhere else for that matter?? If it really bothers you that much…. GTFO!!! Jesus wept…. the Chive is a damn fine site that is here for our amusement and entertainment… if you can't handle it.. sod off!!!
Observation

Pretty sure not a single person above me realized they were trolled…. even the poster's name is Trollface….

El numero uno

#42 nice butt babe
helper

#22

Face. Down. Ass. Up.

bumblefish1985

Thank you. I had no idea what that acronym meant.

Surf and Snow

I always thought in meant Fuck Dat Ass Up.

Bluto

Yes. More UP please.
TCUchiver

I appluad her efforts and hope that there was enough nice things said to encourage her to try one more time (or numerous times if you want) – this chivette is pretty dam hawt!

stl

AhahahAHAHAHahah this is a fake! i sent the original picture in and that is definitely not the same girl. Ahahahahah

kiyoshi

it is quite funny, i sent the bottom pic.. but besides me and you knowing theyre different girls.. the resemblance between the two is uncanny.. and no one else seems to be able to tell.. hahaha

Interesting

#41 This has got to stop…

Anon

you got planked.
wasd

why are aussie's so wierd

Kelly

you're *weird*

DaddyD

Since there was absolutely no reason to start, there is also no reason to stop.
flavireland

It does not have to stop. But probably a new take on it might be nice. It's been done more than jenna haze.

EZP

WOHOOOOO
RobbieBobbie

#39
in a heartbeat

for real

Dude who asked that question needs to be shot.

http://www.cynictease.com Justin

lol no kidding I was thinking that. Please..no ! NO INTERNET..wow…dont worry who ever posted that…you wouldn't know what to do with here with no WoW available.

http://www.cynictease.com Justin

*her

Ren

i dunno… shes a model so shes probably high maintenance n up tight. n if shes spoiled n bratty. n cant do jack shit survival wise, it might not be worth it.

jballs

You're and idiot

apple

agreed
EZP

I asked myself: what if it's a trap?
McSgwigga

yep without a shadow of a doubt
El numero uno

of course not! fuck her, i couldn't live without internet!! i prefer to fap
Greg

agreed!
Anon

Hahahahaha you losers. You'll get stuck on an island with her, and she'll go fuck bananas before you get a taste of her snatch, you fat fucks.

El numero uno

if she happened to be a total bitch, dumb or frigid they would be fucked!
stop thinking with your DICK morons!
Rubadubtub

LMAO
123456

"she'll go fuck bananas" hahahaha

Urban

Resistance is futile!
Turk

How big is the island?
tom a

that would be the best year and a half…..

be stuck on an island with her for a year
when I come back, continue to live with her
we can catch up on all we missed on the chive for the next 6 months
……
profit!!!!!!
https://www.facebook.com/people/Robert-Christopher-Shilling/1544397857 Robert Christopher Shilling

Imagine the binge-chiving to make up for that
rmq

Lets make sure she likes man first.
Chazz B

i can meet more girls on the internet… seriously guys don't center yourselves =P
Catch

Dumbest question ever. If you say no to this, either you're addicted to World of Warcraft or have debilitating case of the homos.
JPC

Ah, it's funny watching all these nerds and losers think that spending a year on an island with her would mean you would have ANY chance of fucking her.

This isn't a situation where you're the last man on Earth. It's only a year. I have a feeling she'd be able to resist the temptation of banging your pimply, over-weight, horny asses for more than a year.

Bluto

Aha. But what if SHE didn't know you were only going to be there for a year? Some people have a littole more confidence in their game when there is no competition. In that case, I think we have a winner.

JPC

Sorry to burst your little fantasy bubble, but the reality is that 99.8% of the people currently on the Chive would never be able to get this woman to have (consensual) sex with them. No, the fact that you can get her alone and show her that you've really got a "great sense of humor" does not change these odds.

Bluto

Guess that makes me a .2%er.

JPC

Yeah, and I'm sure you're a member of MENSA. And you can bench 400 pounds. And you have $200 million in the bank.

The wonders of the internet, where every loser can pretend that he could totally bang super models, if only he got a chance to talk to one.

Bluto

Well, three out of four ain't bad.

JPC

Sorry, I'm just mad because I think only gamer nerds are still on the internet and not everyone. One day I'll get laid by someone other than my late-night-sneaky-uncle and stop being such a whiney little bitch.
again, sorry I'm such a stupid cry baby.

JPC

Awww, poor Bluto had to give himself a thumbs up, then impersonate me because I called him out for his typical case of internet-based delusions of grandeur.

Sad.

JPC

Aww look at me back at it again. Im such a pussy I saw what I wrote and had to thumbs down my self twice. When that wasn't enough, I blamed Bluto. I never even thought that someone, or everyone else for that matter thinks what a dick I am for trying to argue in a comment section. Then I tried to cover up my apology…I guess I am just lonely and gay.
Taco

Because everyone knows what is cooler than someone arguing in a comment section – the guy who impersonates the guy arguing in an internet comment section, and whose only line is "Hey, I'm gay!!! This is totally me saying it, not someone else!!!! I'm gay and I love cock!!!."

You won that argument with your original humor and brilliant rhetoric. We haven't seen debating skills this mature since Billy in the 3rd grade, with his remarkable "No I'm not, you are!" strategy. Kudos to you, good sir.
George F

JPC takes this are to the heart…funniest shit ever. Replys as Taco-hahaha

I can't believe this guy, he's gonna lose sleep over this. I wish I knew this guy…I would be laughin at him every day!
JPC

Hmmm…..looks like you were up at 4 am eastern/1 pacific, typing this…..while I was asleep. Seems the delusional morons were the ones losing sleep over it.
Bluto

Except it wasn't me that trashed you below… sorry to disappoint you.

http://twitter.com/EricDLarson4278 @EricDLarson4278

I'll join that .2%er club. There are some of us out here who enjoy the chive who are not "pimply, over-weight, horny asses". Some of us are respectable people who work for a living and exercise on a daily basis. JPC just needs so get over his little dick syndrome and stop whining cause he has an inferiority complex.

JPC

According to his twitter, Mr. Larson loves emo music and pictures of motorcycles.

Yeah, I'm sure you're going to get with that chick this weekend. After you're done cutting yourself and revving that engine, that is.
JPC

Hell, I didn't even realize it was Bar Refaeli. Just ignore me, and continue believing that you have more than a 1/1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 chance of fucking Bar Refaeli. I'm sure she's just itching to rebound from Leonardo DiCaprio with a 22 year old, emo-loving ROTC guy.

Get back to me when those crazy drugs you are clearly on start wearing off.

http://twitter.com/EricDLarson4278 @EricDLarson4278

Thank you for further proving my point.

JPC

Alright buddy, remember to post the pictures of you and Bar mid-coitus. Then, you'll be on your way to a romantic getaway with Mila Kunis. And after that, you'll be in a three-way with Minka Kelly and Emma Watson.

Because you are the vaunted internet playboy, who can get any woman, no matter how improbable. That emo music works wonders. Girls love cutters.

http://www.facebook.com/people/Mark-Ellison/518959866 Mark Ellison

JPC, you seem to have forgotten that this is the internet. This is a place where people can live out their fantasies, which is exactly what this idea is, a fantasy. I don't think anyone has claimed to actually be able to go out and "pick-up" this girl. Let me know when you get out of high school and begin to see opinions and views other than your own.

JPC

Actually, both of the people I've been replying to claimed they could pick up this girl in real life. Notice how after I said "99.8% of the people here would have no chance of ever getting this woman to have (consensual) sex with them under any circumstances" both seriously replied along the lines of "well, I'm in the .2% group."

I get what you're saying about fantasy and what-if situations. But that's not what is going on here. These people really are delusional enough to think they'd be able to fuck Bar Refaeli if they could just meet her. And they got angry when I pointed out to them, no, you will not be able to bang the world's hottest women.

And I find that hilarious!
Bluto

Actually, you are the only one who seems to be angry about the situation.
JPC

Angry? I'm laughing this entire time. Easy way to find out who's angry here. Follow along with me:

One side is pointing out the rather obvious truth that no one here would have a snowball's chance in hell of fucking Bar Refaeli….

The other side gets defensive at that pretty obvious suggestion, and immediately reverts to douchebag defense mechanisms (a) and (b) – "You're gay" and "You have a small dick."

Which side is angry? Not me!

JPC

Sorry, I'm an angry fag to the max. I love the cock.
to effin funny

I forwarded this to a bunch of friends…we're all laughing our asses off and the sad sack JPC

http://www.facebook.com/people/Chris-Arabian/786440649 Chris Arabian

Good point, if the person is a total pimply overweight loser who lives in his mom's basement. For those of us who aren't, a whole year with her on a deserted island with no contact with the outside world? I'd be in her panties in a month, TOPS … when she realizes she'd have no fish, no fresh water, no shelter and no company if she didn't added to the fact that I'm pretty darned cute she'd be less inclined to be a total bitch. Funny how hunger and cold can change a woman from frigid to fuckable.

http://www.goodadvice.co.za CalculatedRisk

Hang on, hang on, hang on… One more question… Does she have a year's worth of contraception?

Cos I've got better things to do once I get back to reality.

Kyle

Alright. All you people that said no, line up, single file. Bring the machine guns. We'll do this quick.
kotf

blowjobs and anal.

KnowledgeIsPower

Only if she is also *gasp* intelligent. Really hard to find intelligent AND beautiful girls though…
polkuba

Include #40 and I'm in 200%
Andres De la Cruz

F$%^ the internet

Bluto

No, I think the implication is that you are supposed to f$%^ Bar Rafaeli…

Dominator

I'd go. Can I bring my girlfriend too? That could be fun.
Also, FYI http://www.desktopangels.net/wallpapers/Refaeli_B…
http://www.facebook.com/people/Elliot-Atkinson/100000438350852 Elliot Atkinson

So I'm on a tropical island with a hot girl, I don't have to go to work or pay any bills. My days are filled with relaxing, fishing and having sex with the aforementioned hot girl, and I just have to give up the internet, which basically is just a distraction from work and stress anyway. Hmmm….I'm going to have to say that this is a stupid question.
Who wouldn't?

Bar Rafaeli? Absolutely.

douglas

This sentence should be you are stuck with this chink on a desert island with descent amount of food and clean water, reasonable shelter and hygiene products, cause i wouldn't bone a female version of tom hanks in that movie.
Also she is magically attracted to you and want's to go down and do everything you wish anytime.

Cause i wouldn't want to starve to death, be without the sex and have to sleep in the sand every day for a year.

Stephen

fuck the internet
Blake

Fuck the internet
special_k

Hell Yeah! Need to pack 500 condoms for this trip. Otherwise I'll probably spend the last month parenting.
Big Daddy Greg

Hmmm…problem is, I'm kinda fertile (already fathered 5 sons, and I'm only 28), so I assume she would get preggo. Not wild about delivering a baby in the sand. Having said that, can I bring a surfboard?
jarkoff

accepted with #40

El numero uno

#28 i wanna hug a baby elephant too :$

Darth Neegro

In the meantime you can caress my trunk

Michael

burn…ha ha, El Numero Uno is a fag

disturbed

#3 This is my Friday! 4 day weekend! Chive on!

Zach in a cubicle

I speak for most of us when I sit here and say. 'I hate you'
Frank

me too!!!! yey for ecuador!

goForth

#29

Her lips look like a pair of garden slugs

UPSgrrrL88

Garden slugs are cuter.
Bluto

Dumbest idea ever. But women will buy it thinking men will find it attractive….

TomTheCameraGuy

#39 Can geico save you 15 minutes or more on car insurance?

You

Fail
http://www.myspace.com/theamericanmaniacs BentWrenches

i loled

Craig

#41
Planking is dumb. Least funny thing the Chive has ever supported.

diesel9

agreed
working_donkey

Actually, the least funny thing the Chive ever supported was Craig's mother's breasts. That was downright disturbing. Second least funny thing is planking.
Phox

the two guys in the back not participating are Americans
Michael

I had to look up planking.

so glad Im not on facebook for all of the stupid shit that goes on there.
Ford

Not only is it fucking dumb, the arse in the middle ain't doing it right. He fails at being dumb, or is too dumb to fail.

AbedNadir

#26 Does anyone care what she's saying?

tom a

you were there abed, what did she say?
Roshambo

and why were u on Cougar Town last night?
http://twitter.com/ScottCO09 @ScottCO09

hell, I don't watch that show.

AbedNadir

#22 God Bless America.
Justin Hall

#38 Yep, the Wicker Man didn't help his career at all.

frenchgirl

second time this morning that I read about this movie…are you on Hfr^^?

El numero uno

#6 inter-species <3 is really awesome isnt it

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