Daily Afternoon Randomness (49 Photos)

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  • http://thechive.com ontherun1989

    Early DAR is early. And #49 ftw,

    • funkyf

      Do want the shirt!

    • ThumbWhoring

      Obvious comment is obvious.

      • https://www.facebook.com/GoDukes Christopher McGowan

        Seriously…you just said the comment was early…saying it's early again does not make it funny.

    • Jeb

      I love the comments you get after people hear you. "Sooo what did you do last night?" but you have to have a witty comment because "had sex you dumb shit" is too easy.

  • TheBiffer

    Second!

    • http://www.youtube.com/user/ADHDavenger13?feature=mhsn Firefighter23

      Douchebag!

      • TheBiffer

        your Mother

        • Tom Salcido

          WHERE?!

  • Trololool

    1st

    • Kaars

      fail

    • equalizermax

      #6 alanis morissette?

  • bdrizzle

    2nd!

    • TheBiffer

      No you were not, but nice try!

      • VedHead77

        Someone claiming "Second" at the wrong time? That's a first.

  • walkingtheriver
  • melkin

    #36, #37
    seems about right

    • Catch

      #37 was the shining moment of an amazing season.

    • Jim

      I like that she looks like she is aiming, but could only see her thumb if she did.

      • Tom Salcido

        ^^^Thank you!!

  • Mr_Rob

    The Chive: covering your childhood fantasy since 2009 (#33)

    • therealguy

      that's ruby rocket. a known cosplayer

  • FlyingSpagMonst

    #44
    God… I love this girl.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Kyle-White/589047656 Kyle White

      Keeley Hazell ftw. Sad part is, she lives in the UK(unless you also do, in which case you are a lucky bastard :P).

      • TheBiffer

        Er, dude, that is Emma Stone in "Easy A".

        • ????

          you saw the movie? i have news about your man card

          • greg

            worth it.

            • TheBiffer

              Exactly. A funny ass movie, with a couple of scoops of hotness, and so far from being a man-card revocable movie.

          • ranD

            i got laid after taking a date to that movie while you sat at home with your "man card" watching rambo reruns.

            • dOOb

              whoa… Rambo is badass… no need to throw him under the bus…

              That said, Easy A was a massively fappable movie, to suggest otherwise makes you GAY!

    • bubblerider86

      i have such a girl crush on her…… ❤ her

      • FlyingSpagMonst

        Tell us more.

      • ssstoopid

        When in rome…
        Yes… Please continue.

      • jenny

        ewww. lesbian 😡

        • NJF

          Haters gunna hate.

        • Big Bad Al

          Be careful not to offend the gays!!! They might plaster their immoral ideals all over the world…errr wait…

  • Samantha

    #49

    sent this to my boyfriend. I live by these words. him, not so much

    • Revelation

      Wait what? You know, I'm available.

    • Larry

      Sure thing creepy old man pretending to be a girl.

      • #387

        On the internets nobody knows your a 300 lb truck driver.

    • Guest Commenter

      Hmmm, then perhaps you're not doing it right. Or he just sucks.

    • blues

      I can help you teach him a lesson! 😛

      • GayJared

        I'll have him screaming in no time honeybunches. By the way, our safe word is going to be "rape!" so if you hear him screaming it – not to worry.

    • Ispeakchive

      He seems like an ungrateful c nt.

  • Sharky

    #6 That's not Guinness!

    • Tim

      I think she can be forgiven

    • Gern Blansten

      I'd like to black her tan…..

    • Petey

      probably Magners hard cider. made by Guinness. brilliant!

  • UnunbiunScott

    #46, Seriously? I love her already.

    • priceiwrong

      …. searched for robin williams daughter zelda in google

    • Anon

      Robin Williams also named her after the game, which makes her awesomer.

      • its_forge

        Wow that is an extremely sexy voice she has.

      • Jacksansjill

        awesome beard is awesome.

      • Luxor

        Robin Williams is the most interesting man in the world.

      • Just Sayin'

        I knew we'd be "linked" forever.

        WOW robin. just wow.

    • GK-4

      shit, she is cute

    • JPC

      Hopefully she didn't inherit her father's genes when it comes to hair.

      Otherwise, she probably has to shave 5 times a day.

  • pablo_v

    #5
    snooki?

    • Ryan Smith

      same thought here

    • http://www.myspace.com/theamericanmaniacs BentWrenches

      FDAU

    • Nathan Hart

      If it is, then that's the most she's ever contributed to society. If not, well…she can always dream.

    • Bryan

      Ha beat me to it

  • FlyingSpagMonst

    #5
    Have you ever been so drunk… You became a table?

    • ssstoopid

      yes actually… An end table, covered in sharpy.

      Remember kids, always take your shoes off before you pass out!

    • Deez

      now that's what I call table topping a bitch

    • Jay

      If it were my table, it'd have a glass top.

    • cinto

      look up allen jones

  • the Guy

    Flip Her! #1

    • E.V.L.

      I see what u did there … funny!

    • ROK247

      "hey larry – watch me give this kayaking bitch a heart attack!"

    • bettingonthecubs

      I thought to be fair they should have had a bad dolphin, Zipper. Big scar across his head. Out moving buoys around. Deal with this Flipper

    • GK-4

      her name is Miko
      she resides in the Indian Ocean

  • FlyingSpagMonst

    #4
    Your bag of Awwhhh is here.

    • ssstoopid

      They were all out of cabrito… We'll just have to use these puppies.

    • Just Wrong

      I'm glad they use these reusable grocery bags now, because when they came in the plastic, sometimes a few would already be dead when I got them home for dinner.

      • ssstoopid

        Just like lobster and crawfish. If they aren't alive when they go in the cooker, you throw them away.

  • isoreit

    #27

    nailed that one

    • bettingonthecubs

      He didn't

      • You Betcha

        Why is it always Houston. That's 3 now. Dude let's the ball hit his girlfriend. Woman steals ball from little girl, now this.

    • ROK247

      excellent boobage. top notch.

  • joocifer

    #32 awesome

    • lfsg

      scary

    • tsk

      and gross

    • Bob

      I probably sound like an idiot here but… Is that real?

      • realdeal

        Sorry dude, but yes and yes.

    • http://theanisette.com Daris

      Just made the "Misc Images" folder. Super badass.

    • tbone

      spooky

      • GK-4

        it's…so….black

      • colin

        creepy i think

    • Morgan Freeman

      All the black holes in the universe are actually eye pupils. MINDFUCK.

    • Misty Bowers Rosenbaum

      I'd actually like to see what my eye would look like. It's blue, green, and yellow. I think it'd be pretty sweet to see magnified.

    • JMa

      I find this strangely disturbing.

    • hugoi

      shit looks disgusting, and creepy, blech

    • Hoenheim
  • http://www.facebook.com/lalo.spain Lalo Teijeiro

    #44 all day everyday

  • bettingonthecubs

    #5 FDAU?

    • ssstoopid

      Face down, table up! That's the place we set our cup!

  • Mr_Rob

    #46 hotness vs. standing your new father in law jokes and faces… though call.

    • bettingonthecubs

      Here's my idea for a fucking sport. I knock a ball in a gopher hole. "Like pool" Fuck off pool, not with a straight stick, with a little fucked up stick. I whack a ball its goes in a gopher hole. "Oh you mean like croquet?" "Fuck croquet. I put the hole hundreds of yards away. Oh fuck of ya, "Oh like a bowling thing?" "Fuck no, Not straight I put shit in the way. Like trees and bushes and high grass. So you can lose you fucking ball. And go whacking away with a fucking tire iron. Whacking away, and each time you miss you feel like you'll have a stroke. Fuck that's what we'll call it, a stroke, cause each time you miss you feel like you're gonna fuckin die. Oh great, oh and here's the better part oh fuck this is brilliant. Right near the end I'll put a little flat piece with a little flag to give you fucking hope. But then I'll put a little pool and a sand box to fuck with your ball again. Ay, you'll be there cracking you ass, jacking away in the sand, "oh and you do this one time?" "Fuck no. 18 fucking times

      • ssstoopid

        Turn that DVD into a drinking game. Every time he says f*ck or takes a sip of water, you take a sip of your beer. It works out to about 3 beers every 10 minutes, but you can always up the ante if you want to see some projectile vomiting. Just make sure you aren't at YOUR house.

      • http://www.facebook.com/ranDgallegos Randy Gallegos

        for the sad few that may not know this amazing skit. 😉

        • amrith777

          I have seen this before but thank you so much for posting it and elevating my mood!!

    • MacNCheesePro

      He'd be an awesome father in law! I'd get to say "Robin Williams, one of the most well known and respected comedians is my father in law, yours is just an asshole you can't stand. deal with it!" lol

    • Awesome

      Robin Williams is the shit, I'd love to have him as my father in law.

    • Taco Depot

      law's*
      tough*

      • G Man

        thank you… thank god someone did that.

      • Christian Lander

        Stuff White People Like # 99, Grammar

        White people love rules. It explains why so they get upset when people cut in line, why they tip so religiously and why they become lawyers. But without a doubt, the rule system that white people love the most is grammar. It is in their blood not only to use perfect grammar but also to spend significant portions of time pointing out the errors of others.

        When asking someone about their biggest annoyances in life, you might expect responses like “hunger,” “being poor,” or “getting shot.” If you ask a white person, the most common response will likely be “people who use ‘their’ when they mean ‘there.’ Maybe comma splices, I’m not sure but it’s definitely one of the two.”

        If you wish to gain the respect of a white person, it’s probably a good idea that you find an obscure and debated grammar rule such as the “Oxford Comma” and take a firm stance on what you believe is correct. This is seen as more productive and forward thinking than simply stating your anger at the improper use of “it’s.

        Another important thing to know is that when white people read magazines and books they are always looking for grammar and spelling mistakes. In fact, one of the greatest joys a white person can experience is to catch a grammar mistake in a major publication. Finding one allows a white person to believe that they are better than the writer and the publication since they would have caught the mistake. The more respected the publication, the greater the thrill. If a white person were to catch a mistake in The New Yorker, it would be a sufficient reason for a large party.

        Though they reserve the harshest judgment for professional, do not assume that white people will cast a blind eye to your grammar mistakes in email and official documents. They will judge you and make a general assessment about your intelligence after the first infraction. Fortunately, this situation can be improved if you ask a white person to proof read your work before you send it out. “Hey Jill, I’m sorry to do this, but I have a business degree and I’m a terrible writer. Can you look this over for me?” This deft maneuver will allow the white person to feel as though their liberal arts degree has a purpose and allow you to do something more interesting.

        Don’t worry, it is impossible for a white person to turn down the opportunity to proofread.

        • Just Sayin'

          tl;dr

        • Bryan

          I must admit I checked that for mistakes when you posted it!

      • Mr_Rob

        Thanks. I miss the spelling of "though". My bad.

        As for "law's", I think is not applicable since the indicative is not refered to the "law" itself, but to the passive subject of the sentence. So, the correct appellative should be "father in law" and not "father in law's".

  • Henrik

    #22 I'd still do her.

    • sheoncebelieved

      double bag her, for realz

    • http://twitter.com/Z_Triple_T @Z_Triple_T

      but what's her face look like? never mind, i'll make her keep the mask on anyway…

  • Mike

    #22 Worth it!

  • Urban

    #22 I'll take my chances

  • Mito

    #26 does not look like beer to me.

    • Zach

      Must drink my own piss.

  • Gwintro

    #33 been jerking off to betty boop since grade 6. thank you for bringing back old time 'batin files

    • TheBiffer

      Jessica Rabbit.

      Jeez, did the morons get onto the Chive early today?

      • Zach

        Apparently.

    • Mr_Rob

      Jessica Rabbit, dude. Seriously, what's wrong with you!

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