Things you should never see an Amish person do (17 Photos)

Via Buzzfeed

  • Homer

    Find her! #17

    • jason

      it's shopped

    • Steeb

      i refuse to believe this is real…cmon, look at #3, #6, and #7….i dont think amish girls could look that good. and if so…holy shit are they good at hiding it lol

    • Dr_StrangePants

      I would nominate Amish-Kickboxing-Girl
      as Chivette of the week
      but I don't think we have time to wait for a dozen hand-drawn sketches

  • Larry

    "We don't have a cow…… We have a bull…"

    • Mito

      "I'll go wash up."

    • Daith_Lee

      Kingpin…Still an awesome movie…

  • Lalo Teijeiro

    #16 kinda took the wrong turn to hipsterland there but I see what you did there


      There there. See what I did there?

    • gromtown

      definitely hipsters…

    • ANR

      Not Amish. Amish men do not have mustaches.

    • Spiderman

      Thats the Kings of Leon!

      • Alan

        I hate the Kings of Leon…

  • bull1123

    Yowza!!!! #17

  • chrisdg74

    Got one even better. Some Amish guy in Indiana just got busted for "sexting" with (what he thought was) a 12-year old girl. Where's Chris Hansen when you need him?

    • Brandonhern

      Well that's not very fair. She was of a good stock and is prime for birthing age. Besides he was willing to tride a bushel of wheat and 6 heads of cow for her!

    • Juan

      Actually, I read that news story… She was 12, but he thought she was 13!

      • james

        muuuuuuuuuuch better

    • drew

      Playing X-Box with his bro's while drinking a natty light.

    • bigdeal

      thats obviously why theres now an amish post . … idiot.

  • Sup

    Been spendin' most my life, livin' in an Amish paradise!

    • Carl R. Evans

      It was only a matter of time, really.

      • Justin Sargood

        you can't deny how awesome it is though

        • Chris Arabian

          I was going to ask if anyone else was humming that song while looking at the pictures. I guess this answers my question.

  • Tomas

    #10 one monitor has The Chive and another one has porn. 😡

    • Johnny Two Toes

      Looks like they're all gaming to me.

    • Affe

      Yeah, don't see the chive on there anywhere, nor do i see pron.

      -2 slytherin

    • Tomas

      It was a JOKE, people. *sheesh*

  • top dog

    I like #4, she look like she's enjoying herself.

    • Anonamau5

      I have one of those boards. Pretty cool. They only have 2 wheels and they rotate in the center.

    • Randy Gallegos

      i want to see the shot 30 seconds after this one when she realized half way down the hill that those boards dont have brakes.

      • Matt

        She looks like she knows what she's doing. Chive on, amish babe!

  • disturbed

    #3 Still want one.

    • larry

      they work pretty well too actually…

    • VedHead77

      An Amish person?

    • Affe

      No idea why this would be on the "things you should never see an amish person do", because all they do is make fancy woodwork and sell it to us…

  • sheoncebelieved

    #8 is that the pervert pedophile's wagon? nice of the Chive to have a tribute to these guys after what's name made news for trying to screw a 12 year old….but NO TRIBUTE TO MS. CALIFORNIA??????

    • McBeastie

      Sure, because good ole "what's name" ( which is a head scratcher of a moniker you gave him) should really represent the entire Amish community.

    • GRyde

      I would like to pay tribute to your profile pic. MOAR!!!

      • DistractedIndividual

        It's a dude….Sorry to break it to ya'

        • GRyde

          Ack! Sunovhabeech! Somethings need to be said.

        • Randy Gallegos

          no its not, she had her face as her avatar for awhile. she switches it up.

          • McBeastie

            Yes, it would be impossible for a dude to put a woman's face on his avatar. IMPOSSIBLE!!!

          • DistractedIndividual

            I've heard it from several others as well…..Also, I have yet to ever hear a contradiction from sheoncebelieved when someone mentions it on one of their posts…..

  • Niitsitapi13

    1 Absolutely, their blocking technique is awful

    • Booyakasha

      Not to mention she's rotating her body when hitting and clearly did not follow through. The back row players are not covering their zones.

      • Niitsitapi13


  • michaeledmondsjr

    I suspect #16 to be hipsters rather than Amish.

  • james

    Amish or hipster?

    • GrantOJ

      i've definitely seen this in threads along the lines of "boy, i sure hate hipsters, they look stupid" plenty of times.

    • DistractedIndividual


    • ANR

      Hipster. See mustache.

    • jonny

      zippers are too mainstream for them, but macbooks aren't

    • Budjie Garcia

      Well, the way i see it, they're pretty much well inclined with the runway fashion these days… Without the beard of course. o.0

  • Firefighter23

    Since I live in Lancaster County Pa I've seen most of this stuff. Scooters, skates, skateboards are all pretty much normal Amish things. Also some of these people aren't "Amish" per se. Well at least not "Plain Sect" Amish.

    • bsitz

      Mennonites i believe

  • SadSnoopy

    #17 — Kickin' ass and churnin' butter.

  • Jay

    #16 screw amish or hipster….alien….look at his damn foot, that thing is HUGE

    • Dunny_

      I think there is a possibility he may be a Hobbit.

      • E.V.L.

        That thought came to my mind too … except they're too damned tall to be hobbits and that gigantic foot isn't hairy either. However, on a side note, feet that size would be really good for simply walking into Mordor!

  • ryan

    your shit gets more lame and repetitive everyday, chive

    • OwnerOfYou

      so does your face!

    • Casual Observer

      Yet you take the time and effort to come here every day AND comment..keep up the good work, chief!

      • McBeastie

        So you can only comment when you like shit? Damn, you better alert the internet because there are some serious infractions going on.

        • Sarcynical


  • Firefighter23

    Chive, you don't understand the difference between Amish and Mennonite. I live around them. All this is normal. And the Amish are damn good firefighters.

    • hMMMM

      It's getting to the fire that's the problem, I'd imagine. What good is a good firefighter if it takes him anywhere from 2 – 5 hours to get to the fire via horse and carriage?

      • themasecar

        who calls a fireman that lives 2-5 hours away?

        • hMMMM

          are you retarded

      • V4Vendetta14

        They probably have similar pumps that we had in the early 1900's. My department had a horse drawn pumper when they started in 1911.

        The Amish build houses with huge wood beams that could withstand fire far better than our lightweight construction. The average townhouse's roof will collapse after only 5 minutes of burn.

        • Firefighter23

          Dude not everyone is Amish down in the Southern end of the county. Bird-In-Hand FC has a 2009 Engine with a 2250 GPM pump. That's an asskicker rig. If you wanna see what they have check out Witmer FC, Bart TWP FC, Quarryville FC. You'll be surpised.

      • Rett

        Many of the Mennonite groups (same religion as Amish, but customs vary group to group) are allowed the use of modern technologies for business purposes. Naturally, this leads to some abuse.

        Good call on the firefighter's aspect. They're outstanding carpenters also. Those boys know how to work.

    • Rett

      Amish youth take part in "rumspringa" around the age of 16, in which they are allowed to engage in modern societal norms in order to choose whether to remain a part of the community or leave the Amish lifestyle. Interestingly, most choose to return. Fun fact: The literal translation of "rumspringa" is a rough approximation of the phrase "jumping around".

      (excuse me while a rock out to some old school House Of Pain …)

  • charlie brown

    I live in ohio. So far the holy grail of odd amish are the midget amish at wal-mart

    • DistractedIndividual

      Pics please!

    • bigdeal

      i worked at meijer once and one comes in wanting some out of stock item.. i looked everywhere, cant find it so i write the phone number down on a blazing neon pink post it and advise him to call back later…. moral of the story? im a fucking idiot. lol

  • not really

    Not all Mennonites are Amish

    • Cate

      Except NO Mennonites are Amish…they're completely different.

      • not really

        Except they're a subgroup of the Mennonite church therefore… not really.

  • Guillermin

    #3 #10 and #17 would be the only fake ones

    • McBeastie

      Um…no….not really. None are "fake." Not sure if # 10 and # 17 are actually Amish, but # 3 is definitely not fake. I've seen the late night infomercials for those.

    • Coldzilla
    • Underhill

      Nope. #3 is from an ad for this super-duper stoves. Not sure about the
      stoves but the picture is legit.
      When I had my hobby shop I had many Amish customers. They mostly bought
      rc airplanes from me but an occasional electric train set which they ran off batteries
      with inverters. They were horse n buggy Amish but they rode Amtrac, shopped in
      Walmart, rode in cars and recharged their batteries from the lighter socket.
      They tended to use the neighbors telephone and inter-net connection.

  • wymer100

    Probably mostly Mennonite instead of Amish.

    • Screwdriver

      I used to work with some Mennonites…I used to call them Amish with electricity.

    • Underhill

      Nope — Amish

  • Setzmachine22

    #7 Does that say Viagra or Niagra???

  • Bigdog-77

    Best Post Ever!!!!!!

  • Dishwater

    #16 they be hipsters not Amish. they have a full beard with a mustache plus it looks like at least one of them is wearing a belt. they are bloody English and not Pennsylvania Dutch.

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