Daily Morning Awesomeness (20 Photos)

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  • Ryan

    #6
    What a pimp.

    • Bingo!

      The accordion is a difficult instrument to learn, but with practice is attainable.

    • steve

      Now that's gangsta.

  • Bingo!

    alright, chive, faggots, thumbs up everything because whatever Chive takes off Reddit is SO FUCKING COOL!! Don't think… just do it! Ugly Chick? Thumbs Up! Yesterdays joke? Thumbs up! Chive on!

    • Tsk tsk

      You seem angry. Must need some sleep…

      • Bingo!

        ooop… chive defender! Alert! Alert! Quick heads up… as soon as you say something negative they ban you… so… good work. the only nay-sayer they allow is Paula, because it's one of them. These guys aren't clever, they're rip-off artists… just like taking the Banksy graffiti off the streets and putting it in their offices. Banksy is a public nuisance. Paint on your own walls, on your own buildings. Lame-asses think it's art. ALSO… CHECK YOUR SECURITY… NOTICE THAT EVERY THIRD OR FOURTH HIT ON CHIVE POPS UP A VIRUS? STEALING FROM REDDIT DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN REALLY RUN A WEBSITE…. GET IT TOGETHER.

        • Malkintosh22

          Yes, because the Chive produces ABSOLUTELY NO original content. All those hot chicks with "Chive On" written on all different orifices of their bodies was all posted on reddit. You clearly have an excellent knowledge of how the internet works. If one website posts a picture, then it would be thievery if another website were to use said picture.

          Do everyone a favor and just go back to reddit, asshole.

          • http://www.facebook.com/a.d.lahey Andrew Lahey

            no no everyone.. give him a break… I'm sure he's being forced to browse the Chive late at night. It's not his fault he's so angry…

            on a serious note… ditto on the "we have hot girls" point. It's been a while since i've seen a hot girl with "Reddette" scribbled on her ass…

            • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

              Actually, do a google image search of the word "Reddette". You'll see what they're made of 🙂

              Hugs,
              Paula
              – the whatever of whatever

              • http://www.thechive.com DistractedIndividual

                I did a comparison Google search of Reddettes vs. Chivettes….Reddit has no game.

          • Bingo!

            is that what you need to get your jollies off? lol. At some point you'll see that these wannabes are real losers. Maybe it's a year from now, but you'll realize it… and then you'll think… "you know what Bingo! is right" Maybe you'll realize it in the morning when this post is deleted and you'll see what insecure babies they are.

            • Malkintosh22

              Sure, let's just say for a moment that the men behind the Chive are a bunch of 'wannabes'. Now explain to me who exactly are they wannabes of? Reddit may have a mastermind administrating their website making sure everything runs smoothly, but it certainly isn't a public face. John, Leo and company are so public – so secure – that they have been posting pictures of themselves on the internet for all to see. I don't know of any other major website admins that do that.

              Wannabes, you say?

              • dizzard

                #20 combo break for everybody's enjoyment

                • tralfaz

                  Thank You.

        • Whatashame

          Or you could just not go on The Chive anymore. Freedom. God Bless America and what-not.

        • LMC

          you do realize that you don't have to visit the website right? It is still optional.

        • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

          Chive hardly ever deletes comments, trust me, I could know. They're even letting me piss on them all the time. And if they do delete something I'd say they have a good reason for it. Happened to me too. And to porn site spam etc..
          They might delete your comment for lying about the virus pop-up but I don't even think they will.
          And this reddit thing is really getting old and boring now. Don't hate the Chive simply because they rule.

          Hugs,
          Paula
          – really not part of the Chive crew

          • amrith777

            While I agree with everything you said–I have to report that I personally had a virus invade my system twice in the past 4-8 weeks.There was a video posted here a while back and when I clicked it,one of those fucking "OH NOES–YOU HAVE A VIRUS SO YOU BETTER DOWNLOAD OUR SOLUTION!" Windows defender thingies reared its ugly head and it took me at least a couple hours to rid myself of it and I have Kaspersky and it's pretty good at not letting shit through.
            But as for everything else–I concur with everyone else here who defended TheChive because it's an awesome site and I am more than willing to overlook things I deem minor.

        • Trollobvious

          This literally made me burst out laughing, and the laughter only got louder as I read all of the follow up comments. Probably the best troll in the last month. LMAO!

        • Paul

          #22

    • Captnjack

      Just shut the fuck up. Probably half of the people here don't even use reddit (me included) and if you don't like it, NO ONE IS FORCING YOU TO BE HERE. GET THAT THROUGH YOUR THICK SKULL.

    • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

      You see kids, Bingo!s post shows you exactly why smuggling drugs is a very bad idea.
      They wrap the drugs in a condom before they shove it up your ass, and sometimes that condom breaks! Then the drugs get into your body and THIS is what happens.
      Chive on!

      BTW I'm off to see the FLBP gallery they stole from Reddit. Anyone got the link of todays FLBP gallery on Reddit? Anyone?

      Hugs,
      Paula
      – wondering where reddit get all its content from

      • lahdel

        you know, I can't hate you, paula…. I usually spend too much time laughing at your posts =) more than half of 'em make good sense and they're all usually just too funny

        • amrith777

          I agree–I'm always a bit bummed when I don't get my daily dose of Paula. 😀

          • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

            You don't 'get' me. You wanna piece of me? Okay. Say hello to my little friend!

            Hugs,
            Paula
            – no scars

            • amrith777

              *evil grin* I'm awake now!! LMAO–Good one!!

      • Netoward

        Marry me.

        • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

          Get in line. ❤

          Hugs,
          Paula
          – the one you want to marry

    • Capitalsfan74

      All I see on Reddit are people bitching about reposts and those stupid rage comics.

    • HollarPeenYo

      BINGO! Y U HAVE NO LIFE!?! Y U NO UNDERSTAND THAT SOME PEOPLE LIKE THE CHIVE BECAUSE THEY DON'T HAVE TIME TO SURF REDDIT ALL DAY LIKE YOU APPARENTLY DO…

      $100 bucks says you have a nice set of man tits….

      • http://www.thechive.com DistractedIndividual

        Moobs…Hahahaha, gets me every time:)

        • HollarPeenYo

          I believe "Moobs" is the proper medical vocabulary for said disorder…

          Side effects include swimming with your shirt on and wearing a sweatshirt when it is completely unnecessary…

    • Bingo's boytoy

      damn boy – why you so angry? Cuz I jizzed in your mouth and told you it was gonna be a glass a koolaid? or was it because you wanted to cuddle onto me after i done u up the butt but i said I hadda take a dump and just left? come back to bed and we talk okay? wear that muzzle I got you though, cuz yo breath smells like poo.

      • tralfaz

        OK everyone I think we've made some real progress this week. We'll see you all at the next session.

        • MXI

          I love bingo, he makes me laugh. Hey Chive, FIND BINGO!!!!!!!!!. LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

          Challenge accepted?

          • iloveQuatchi

            No

    • Bollyver

      I think the Chive community is what makes it so popular. Does anyone really care to read rants? That being said watch out for the XP security virus on some of the links.

    • McBeastie

      You use too many commas.

    • Broseph Stalin

      LOLumad?

    • LOL

      Easily the best troll this month. Bravo, I got a pretty good laugh out of it.

    • Brother Maynard

      I disagree w/ everything everyone said.

      • TitoRigatoni

        Oh, I completely disagree with this.

    • konaehukai

      Thumbs down, just so ya know.

    • duh

      and Bingo was his name-o…

      • Aeternus

        Best comment yet.

    • chris rap

      love the chive…BUT, you got to admit Bingo has a point. they never credit ANY of the web pages that originally post this material. So chive, why don't you ever credit your sources? i assume that it is one of two reasons…either A) it is sent to them b/c they really don't have time to google where this stuff comes from or B) they don't care. i assume that it is the later.

      again, love the site…just wish they would give credit where credit is due.

      • iloveQuatchi

        And would you actually be able to find the original source of the pics? There is a lot of stealing on the internet, so who cares.

      • http://www.thechive.com DistractedIndividual

        1st- Randy^ is correct, most of these pics are sent in by Chivers and Chivettes.
        2nd- For the most part the Chive will include a link [SOURCE] at the bottom of the post….Guess what! It links to the source!
        3rd- If they don't post the source…Then who really fuckin' cares, the best pics were probably posted here anyway.

    • its_forge

      The commenting system at Reddit sucks beyond any possible universal definition of the word "suck." It sucks like the giant black hole at the center of the Universe. It sucks so hard it pulls you through to an entirely different plane of existence where everything sucks so much you'll want to shoot yourself in the face with a flamethrower. The commenting system at Reddit sucks so much it makes Jersey Shore look like Firefly. It makes a bowl of pig shit look like a plate of fresh toll house cookies. It sucks like an armada of hookers at a car salesman convention in Vegas. It sucks like a brand-new Yugo. It sucks like a used iPhone. It really, really, really FUCKING SUCKS.

  • Malkintosh22

    #2 Ye I know buzz, all dem cats be hatin'!

    • Bingo!

      Dog's shouldn't be allowed on furniture – it gives them "Alpha" dog issues.

  • DeRaNgEd

    #19 hate doing that especially when its your last smoke

    • DanielB

      I knew i couldnt posibly be the only person to ever do that

    • Bingo!

      You guys shouldn't smoke – it's not healthy.

      • GK-4

        ah…NOW I see it
        I was wondering what the hell the big deal was about.

    • anon

      That can't be right, she's not blonde. Maybe she dyed her hair brunette = blonde artificial intelligence! 🙂

      • http://www.thechive.com DistractedIndividual

        Nah…Probably just drunk.

        • http://www.facebook.com/ranDgallegos Randy Gallegos

          my buddy did this drunk, but it was already lit…. didnt remember doing it till he woke up with the giant blister on his lips. bahahahaa booze.- 1 drunk friend – 0

    • its_forge

      Pff. Filters are meshugeh. Smoke regulars. It's been proven that filters don't filter out anything harmful anyway, so why bother? Get the full flavor and the full nicotine and you'll smoke fewer cigarettes per day. Except when you're drinking.

    • https://www.facebook.com/donovan.colbert Donovan Colbert

      Only a non-smoker would think this is something somehow unique or unusual. EVERYONE who smokes for any length of time eventually lights the filter-end of a cigarette. It is like looking around for your glasses when they're on your head.

  • MigraineBoy

    #20 I am your father? Really?

    • Bingo!

      Darth Vader is a man, not a woman. This photo must have been shopped.

    • thegoogguy

      I really shouldn't find this photo attractive. It's the GOD DAMN force I tell ya!

    • Joeyk

      I would be turned to the darkside for sure.

    • That Guy

      she's using the force to make penis go rigamortis .

      • Stevo

        your penis is dead? ah godhelpus!

    • Tomas

      To go to the dark side, she must bend over first. 😡

  • hueyrocks

    #22 – "Why can't we pick our own colors?"

    • .......

      "You know what this is? It's the worlds smallest violin playing just for the waitresses"

      • Bingo!

        No, it's called a "gif" – a constant video loop.

    • Mike

      MR. PINK FTW, Steve Buscemi is great as Knucky Thompson in the HBO series Boardwalk Empire.

  • Jack Bauer

    First!!! Fuck you all!!

  • 2857

    up up down down left right left right b a select start
    #15

    • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

      Disappoint. This should have been presented on a Chivette.

      Hugs,
      Paula
      – one can never have too much Chivettes

      • Gee

        Agreed, I believe that this needs to be filled for me to understand how the controller operates. 🙂

    • Bingo!

      You're referring to Contra – and you shouldn't provide codes. Players need to learn to win on their own, not through short-cuts.

      • bob

        the konami code worked on many games more then contra and even on some websites, google it for more information…

        • http://www.facebook.com/ranDgallegos Randy Gallegos

          true story bob. and NOW it works on several WEBSITES as well… check it out… http://konamicodesites.com/

    • Jay Cue

      My thoughts exactly! LOL

  • tommybhoy

    #11 So…when I finish my pint I get a shot, then once my shot is finished I get another pint?
    I like it!!!!

    • Bingo!

      Alcohol should be enjoyed responsibly. Here's a tip: for every drink you have, also have a glass of water.

      • SkyVader

        Water should be enjoyed responsibly. Here's a tip: for every drink you have, also have a glass of alcohol.

      • amrith777

        I hate to admit it–but this IS sound advice if you want to lessen your chances of being hung-over.

        • plop

          or just take an aspirin before sleeping… saves water

      • Stevo

        I worry about dihydrogen monoxide poisoning. That's why I drink.

    • Umpty Scrunch

      How dumb. I really want to drink a shot from a glass that has been sitting on a table or bar top.

      • quintus

        ??? why? The alcohol in the shot will more than likely reduce all the bacteria that would be on those surfaces anyways? Also, those who are taking shots aren't employing such rationale, they're getting drunk bitch. So in rebuttal, it's not dumb. You're just grumpy. I think you need one of these the most. #11.

        • plop

          so, how do i get the shot IN the beer?

          • TitoRigatoni

            ^^This. Exactly what I was thinking.

      • mostinterestingman

        I was thinking this is another way for the bar to short you on your draft beer pours. And I usually take a shot, then have a beer, so…this is pretty much worthless. Unless you're camping. Then its sweet.
        Oh, and #13 – of course is a bearded, porkpie hat wearing hipster. Maybe HE should go back to Reddit.

        • b.o.l

          say what you want about the kid, but that is pretty impressive

    • http://www.facebook.com/wthomas.kimberly W Thomas Kimberly

      where do i get these for my bar?

    • Vagina Jones

      It's going to be really difficult to take an Irish Car Bomb.

  • Justin Zavalaa

    #22 Mr.Pink doesnt like to Tip

    • Slomotje

      Or he is playing the world's smallest violin, and he's playing it just for you.

    • Bingo!

      His name is not Mr. Pink – it is actor/director Steve Buschemi.

      • tralfaz

        Surley your not serious.

        • amrith777

          Yes seriously…and stop calling me "Shirley" xD

          • mostinterestingman

            Have you ever seen a grown man naked, Billy?

            • amrith777

              LMFAO!! I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue!! xD

      • Chiveroni

        You could at least spell his name correctly. It's not like it's hard to google it. And if you don't know his name is Mr. Pink, please kill yourself.

        • Bingo!

          Suicide doesn't just end your own pain…….it begins many others.

  • Wheelbarrow Cat

    #3 any kid that wants to be robin while his horse is batman is bound to turn out gay

    • Bingo!

      One should only dress up on Halloween – here's a tip – at the end of a fun night of trick-or-treating – give away half of your candy to needy children. It will make you feel sweeter than any chocolate bar!

      • Thomas

        Heres a tip GTFO

        • http://www.facebook.com/ranDgallegos Randy Gallegos

          dont feed to troll.

    • Event Horizon

      I always thought batman rode robin…

  • notachiver

    #1 Average Chiver

    • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

      And he rules!

      Hugs,
      Paula
      – having Redditers for breakfast. No, not OVER for breakfast

    • Bingo!

      Super cute!

      • panama99

        Bingo must be Pedobear or his special friend!!!

  • tobuscus

    #20 The geeks will go crazy ,losers.

    • Malkintosh22

      That comment does NOT ammend your name. You are an imposterbuscus.

    • HollarPeenYo

      YOU HAVE NO FACE!

      • amrith777

        Slender Man? 😮

    • Bingo!

      That wasn't a nice thing to say tobuscus.

  • urDad

    #13 Forever Alone

    • ERIC

      forever a king ,truly amazing

      • duke

        get a life.

        • gefundigeliebe

          …by building one in LEGO!

        • amrith777

          Maybe he DOES have a life…We have no idea how long it took him to construct that.Maybe he has a very well-balanced life and building this tower was his hobby/relaxation activity.Just sayin'….

    • Bingo!

      Keep lego away from small children unless supervised.

    • everton

      HE needs to get laid.

  • BatmanFan

    #14 Dr. McNinja FTW!!

    • Bingo!

      Ninja's are are not real.

    • Dark Smoke Punch

      After fighting off the pirates with their shramrock ninja stars, the ninja began the first ever recorded "slow-clap." He then spoke….but no one could speak japanese so they had idea what the hell they were saying.

  • JPC

    Normally I don't make fun of nerds, as I am at least part-nerd, but #13……..dude, you really need to get laid. Seriously. How much time did you spend indoors, putting pieces together?

    • Wayne

      It's not illegal to have a hobby. I say good for him, and let the rest of us just admire his work instead of judging him from a picture on the internet.

      • gefundigeliebe

        I do however judge him a little bit from sloppily calling Sauron's tower Barad-Dûr for "LOTR Tower".
        When nerding, nerd properly, please.

        • TitoRigatoni

          ^^This. My thoughts exactly. LotR tower? That's not a valid description, there are at least three towers in LotR.

      • amrith777

        Thank you!! I said pretty much the same thing a few posts ^ way.

    • Anon

      his house looks in good shape, so he has money, he isn't ugly, and it is a hobby. Oh Noes! Dude likely has gotten laid at least as much as you.

      • luc

        99% chance it is his parents house, so his parents do have money and he is pretty sexy because of that…. the awkward pose, totally rad hat, and amish beard implies he probably has only talked to girls on WOW… so i am guessing when he does get mad tail they have to be gentle so that they do not ruin all of his other creations or amazing wastes of time….

        • Chiveroni

          No, it's not in a dark basement, it's in a living room, with pride of place. That is NOT his parent's house.

        • amrith777

          REALLY??You can tell this by just looking at a picture and stereo-typing?I don't know you–but I have found that people who respond to such things in the way you have tend to be quite insecure,so they have to tear others down in order to feel superior.In order to keep someone down–part of you has to be down there WITH them.
          You're certainly entitled to your opinion–but it amazes me how many people echo the attitude you have demonstrated in your comment.

      • fil

        *parents house

    • HollarPeenYo

      I'm going to build a giant hand out of lego's and then bitch slap you with it…

    • Jfrost

      Yeah, what a dorky hobby! His time would have been way better spent staring at a screen watching jocks fight over a ball and wagering on his imaginary team line-up with his coworkers…

  • gaz

    #1 nerf all up in this bitch B)

    • Just Sayin'

      Well then it's a shame they are supersoakers…

      • gaz

        Dang my hastiness to post a comment

  • PokePoke

    #12 no matter how many time i see him fall, its still funny

    • Bingo!

      Trust games are a great way to make friends.

    • BloodScrubber

      Off camera is Benny Hinn sayin.."you've been healed!"
      *now someone call 911

  • DanielB

    #7 and i tought MY coworkers where assholes

    • Bingo!

      Police work had to keep us safe – say thanks to your local law enforcement and Chive up!

  • keepontruckinit

    #5

    Get in my BELLY!!

    • Bingo!

      Kittens don't need to be put on leashes.

      • bunedoggle

        That's a snare not a leash.

  • JDubs

    #17 – Can't be any more true

    • Nick

      in don't get the clocks….??

      • http://www.facebook.com/people/Roberto-Barreiro/100000002013938 Roberto Barreiro

        they are never on time!

      • Chiveroni

        Woman time rounds down to the nearest hour. Thus 5 til 8 = 7.

        • TitoRigatoni

          No. If she says she's gonna be somewhere at 7, she's gonna be there a little before 8.

    • Bingo!

      Women don't find this kind of humour funny, and neither do I.

      • Blaine

        Good thing neither of your opinions matter.

      • http://www.thechive.com DistractedIndividual

        I actually find it very funny….Because admittedly it's pretty true. Except the shoe thing, those ones are hideous! Red strappy pumps with a peep toe are like a pot of gold:)

        • buckywheat

          I vote you down as soon as you started describing shoe types

          • http://www.thechive.com DistractedIndividual

            So I see the impact…Congratulations good sir.

        • Cecilia

          Couldn't agree more!

      • Larry

        So to paraphrase, you are saying that:

        "Women, nor Little Bitches find this kind of humor funny."

    • evelyn

      'cept that those shoes a uuuugly

    • http://bella-d.tumblr.com Bella

      The only one I find true is the compass. When I drive, I once said, "I don't know where I am, but I'm facing the mall. Where do I turn?"

    • Marie

      How dumb* women see the world around them
      I get it, women are idiots and it's why I can't stand most of them, but I resent the fact that I will forever be stuck in said category just because I wasn't born with a dick. I’m only 18 and I’m already sick of hearing it
      If I didn't know what a check engine light is my car would be MIA by now
      It’s pretty clear why women struggle to feel skinny or pretty enough. Hell, this site makes it clear
      I go to school in the city and I can parallel park left or right with my eyes closed
      The first time I drove after passing my road test was to drive myself to my mom’s, alone, across New York State. All you need is the common sense to go east and it’s nice to keep a road map around for alternate routes
      I was raised by a mechanic and know how to use a good tool
      Nah, I feed spiders to my cat
      The only time I'm making conversation in a bathroom is to curse about the amount of tampons left lying around. It's disgusting
      Fuck those shoes. Should be replaced by an Irishman, please

      But I guess I’d better get in the kitchen with all of the other chicks, since we're all the same, you know

      • Bingo!

        Shut up ho

  • Patrick

    #14 The most logical thing I've read in a while

    • COCO

      I might try that to see if that will work.

  • http://galletto.tumblr.com/ Galletto3

    #6
    I guess we found the reason people kept shooting him…

    • Mr. Milk

      You should look up Clifton Chenier my friend …it might change your tune.

    • http://galletto.tumblr.com/ Galletto3

      dam….i didnt think it was possible but this (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Am7d9Uj122M) changed my mind….damn you mr milk

  • xXbeermonkeyXx

    #12 the trust is broken until your arms bulk up. come back next summer camp

    • http://www.youtube.com/user/ADHDavenger13?feature=mhsn Firefighter23

      Moral to the story: never trust children.

  • nsoebleed

    #12 will never trust women again. Hope that isn't why he's theres in the first place. That'll teach him.

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