Daily Morning Awesomeness (20 Photos)

  • Chase

    #7 I whip my hair back and forth

    • embry_joe

      i am so happy that i think of the Jimmy Fallon as Neil Young and Bruce Springsteen parody when I see "whip my hair back and forth…."

    • Bingo!

      Try to only eat organic, locally -grown chicken.

    • http://www.thechive.com DistractedIndividual


      • Binog!

        I was only trying to look out for your health "distractedindividual" – if you ate more locally grown food you would be surprised how much differnt you'd feel – perhaps you would even consider changing your name to "Concentratedlady" or something to reflect this new outlook on life.

        Oh screw it, I am just going to go off myself and leave the chive community be.

        Chive on!

        • http://www.thechive.com DistractedIndividual

          Did not reply to your comment, I replied to the one talking about whipping hair to and fro in a fast paced manner(not to be confused with the popular 'head banging' found at rock metal concerts).

          BTW- I've worked and shopped the local farmers market for over a decade now.
          Oh yeah and STFU please.

          • McBeastie

            It was still better than a firstie. So……………………………………..whatever.

        • gimletmike

          How do you know that those are not locally grown chickens? They are a breed called the Yokohama by some, though that is not their correct Japanese name. They are available through many hatcheries throughout the United States. In order to get the tails that long you have to raise them on perches, I never did that. I let mine run, so I rarely got tail feathers longer than about 4 feet. Yes, I used to raise that breed, among others, when I was in 4H, in Indiana. Depending on where you live there may be many "local" fanciers who raise this breed. It is a smallish breed that is raised almost exclusively for show, rarely, if ever, for meat.
          It is so amusing when city people try to discuss agriculture. I seriously doubt that you will find this breed available for table use anywhere.

    • Drea619

      Fuck them you made me LOL

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=786440649 Chris Arabian

        Chickens from the "hood". Them's a WEAVE BITCHES! BITCHES LOVE WEAVES!

  • http://www.facebook.com/mnoe.gonzalez Melvin J Noe Gonzalez

    #13 that is….awesome! altough I dont like the idea of leaning towards the table, somehow I find it uncomfortable and pepsi? wtf

    • Alphanumeric

      also, I don't know about everyone else but my ass falls asleep after 15 minutes…

    • Tony

      leaning forward helps with bowel movement.

  • Elbie

    #12 Lenny Kravitz is way too cool to use a regular iPhone – retro!

    • bab

      how the quote can say #12 is Not Awesome, but some fatass instinctively claims #13 (above) is Awesome…is beyond me….Welcome to America, where FATASS's rule the dominion

      • JFrost

        My thoughts exactly!

      • Monk

        I'm fairly certain they weren't the same person. We have fatass's and non fatass's. This is America, we something for everyone. Keep your hate to yourself. Chive on.

    • houtini

      Lenny Kravitz is a fuckin' faggot.

      • Bingo!

        Actually Lenny Kravitz is as well known for his love making to females as he is for his fun, upbeat music.

        Chive up!

        • BeccaB86

          Best retort I've read in quite a while!

        • Broseph Stalin

          If by "fun, upbeat music" you mean unoriginal bull shit then ya guy, spot on!

          • http://www.thechive.com DistractedIndividual

            Hey, I'd hit it if given the opportunity…

    • reggie

      it gets hot on your face and sounds like shit , seems like a great idea . #12 eat a ass haters .

    • ETHTEG

      that phone looks fuckin' retarded.

      • The Real D.Nozzle

        why the hell are people thumbing this down? the phone is stupid as hell. it's like getting glasses, poking out the lenses, and wearing the frames. or wearing a baseball cap backwards then shielding your eyes from the sun with your hand. retarded. no it doesn't make it cool 'cause you slap the word "retro" on it.

        • Shawn

          sure it does

      • Zach

        Agreed. Does he put that fvcking thing in his pocket after? Stupid.

        • Zach

          On second thought. Maybe he is trying to prevent brain cancer from cell phones. Even still, use a regular earpiece.

          • DrROBOTO

            his music sucks and he is clearly trying to be cool as much as i agree the iphone sucks walking around w/ a huge retro phone to use with your iphone is just as lame.buy a different phone

        • McBeastie

          No, he gives it to his assistant and then he goes about his day spending tons of cash and getting tons of trim. Not a fan, but I don't see what all the fuss is about what kind of receiver he uses. Who really gives a shit?

          • DrROBOTO

            you commentated on it so obviously you

    • http://www.thechive.com DistractedIndividual

      I think this is awesome, way to be out of the box and original…I kinda want one now 🙂

      • deafdalmatian

        I have one! it's from ThinkGeek.com. It's bluetooth. I love using it in the car, it totally freaks people outl

    • Smokey

      It'd be even better if he had a whole rotary phone hooked into his iphone.

      • TittisMcgosh

        next he'll be carrying a whole damn phone-booth, 'cause you know, it's just sooo retro!

  • sarcasm

    #17 People would still steal the ball -____-
    #16 "Oh no!"

    • xXbeermonkeyXx

      why would anyone steal a pee soaked ball from an urinal?? why?!

      • Jham

        because its yummy 😀

    • snoobs89

      steal it from a urinal…. really? where the hell do you live?

      • sarcasm

        'Merica. duh.

    • lovehaight88

      oh no? OHH YEAAAAH

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=786440649 Chris Arabian

        Ooooohhhhhhh Yeeeaaaaahhhhh!!! "Kool Aid Wipes out thirst for YOU! Ohhhhhhh Yeeeaaahaaaaaa crasha banga booma, with a big bright smile and a fun taste too …"

        That picture brought back a ton of memories, including the Kool Aid song from when I was a kid. I can't remember my own name half the time, but irrelevant useless stuff can pop into my head INSTANTLY!

    • Chris

      I could actually imagine a really drunk guy taking the ball… And throwing it at their 'friends'.

      Atleast, I know some people who would.

      I don't hang out with them so much =/

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=17815425 Adam Purcell

    #6 Oh shiiiiit.

    • ROK247

      he broke his coccyx

  • James

    #10 is genius. i keep imagining his koala friend farting in his face just off camera!

    • equalizermax

      I want her to do that to me too

  • Dan

    #8 If that's real, she's crazy skilled.
    #21 is just awesome.

    • Dr_StrangePants

      I wish #8 was in higher definition
      I want it as a wallpaper

    • http://www.thechive.com DistractedIndividual

      I ♥ #21

    • http://www.myspace.com/theamericanmaniacs BentWrenches

      Toes on the Nose FTW #8

      • http://thechive.com/ mattythegooch

        "hanging 10"

  • MigraineBoy

    #13 Now he has plans for the weekend!

    • BigPoker

      Needs a 12 pack and some bud on that table. Then he's got plans.

  • Green 1210

    Douchebags make me laugh.. then they piss me off

  • Dan

    #12 I didn't know Lenny Kravitz was a poser, but this doesn't look good.

    • JPC

      Considering he started his career as a wannabe Jimi Hendrix (except one who couldn't play the solos in his songs), he's pretty much always been a poser.

      • b-ry

        this. a thousand times, this.

      • The_Dood

        You forgot the part where he sings the same lines over and over again…

    • TittisMcgosh

      you didn't know he was a poser? you must not be very familiar with him then…….

      • Wade Wilson

        Seriously I'm with this guy, you clearly have never heard of him nor his music.

    • wino

      His first stage name was "Romeo Blue". Just saying.

  • dash

    #6 why the fuck didn't someone let me know to watch for ice?

    • Chiveinator

      #6 is just silly everyone knows bears can't readB)

    • http://renounceapprehension.blogspot.com/ MrRushing

      "I'm so drunk!"

  • Patrick

    #18 Not Pass You Shall

    • asdf

      Pass you shall not

    • Netoward

      To coment this, I wanted. Faster you were, indeed.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001072561309 Garen DiBernardo

    #18 one cannot simply jetpack into morodor

    • Rwj

      Nerd ,and a virgin probably.

      • http://renounceapprehension.blogspot.com/ MrRushing

        …and Rwj doesn't know how to have fun with pictures… COME AT ME BRO!

    • Indifferent Man

      You're forgetting the inevitable "Pass, you shall not."

    • http://www.poseidonius.blogspot.com Roirien

      Let's take it to the next level :
      Sauron VS Voldemort

  • hotdog

    #16 oh no you better fix that wall before my dad comes home and beats me with a belt, he's not gonna believe a giant talking bowl of punch came through the wall

    • RamRod

      Done Cook sucks people.

  • xXbeermonkeyXx

    #20 i bring you the summer festival recycled sombrero hat made from bottles and cans of beer! might be heavier, but it tasted great!

    • snoobs89

      i look at this and think 'i bet lady gaga is weeping with envy'

    • Dr_StrangePants

      That's a pinched neck nerve just weighting to happen

  • BigPoker

    #13 No Beer?

  • pud3000

    #9 is hilarious. Mr Bean is awesome!

    #3 I love the conveniences of the modern age with live in!

  • sarcasm

    #6 poor polar bears can't read.. they're too cool for school

    • pablo_v

      animal testing is cruel, they might get nervous and answer questions wrong

  • snoobs89

    #12 Yo Dawg, we heard you like phones!

    • Link

      I laughed way harder at this than I thought I would XD

      • snoobs89

        Chive on good sir, Chive on.

    • http://www.thechive.com DistractedIndividual


  • Joe

    #17 I'm more of a goalie.

    • JPC

      Are you saying you like to get pissed on? Because that's what it sounds like.

    • Firewalker

      So you'd rather block the pee?

    • RamRod


    • superpooper


    • JAFitC

      How's that working out for you?

  • adam

    #4 cat going in a cat…Catception?

    • Darth Neegro

      it doesn't work if you just throw "ception" on the back of everything, moron. the fact you missed "kittinception" makes you an even bigger idiot.

    • Raunchy The 1st

      Wow, really? "tception" isn't even a word………

  • Pwndu232

    #15 I like Ironman's new car!

    • Brother M.

      if chivers take the bait on this one, they're even bigger idiots than i thought they were(which until now i didn't think was possible).

      • http://www.youtube.com/user/ADHDavenger13?feature=mhsn Firefighter23

        You're a chiver too buddy.

    • KeyserSoze

      That's Aquaman's car, retard. Didn't you see the dorsal fin?

    • Super Nerd


    • kenny5505

      Trolling is a art.

  • Chiveinator

    … stumble out of bed…
    …morning ? check
    Awesomeness ? #18 fucking checkxD

    • http://renounceapprehension.blogspot.com/ MrRushing

      even through blurry eyes it still makes perfect sense….

    • CheckTheTech

      I agree this is incredible..

  • toby

    #11 Puff Puff pass

  • urDad

    Not awesome enough.

    • Netoward

      you are

    • ROK247

      thats what mom says about you, dad. go back to bed.

      • urrealdad

        Oh ignore her ramblings son ,she has been depressed ever since she gave birth to you. Go back to the basement now.

        • ETHTEG


    • http://renounceapprehension.blogspot.com/ MrRushing

      YOU'RE NOT MY DAD! ….my dad would have said something racist

    • Guest Commenter

      Please allow me to retort:


      The defense rests.

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