Yeah…. we need to talk (29 Photos)

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  • Trez

    #5 Makes me ashamed to be British

    • Bob

      Me too, the girl is skanky coke snorting z lister

    • Brad

      looks russian to me, just a guess…

      • nobody

        but she is hot

        • Kellen

          and I bet she's not worth it, her poor husband had to pay for all that shit.

          • Seriously, I Agree

            Yea women can't make their own money.

    • FlyingSpagMonst

      So many more reasons to be ashamed for being British. GO AMERICA!

      • Jake

        You make me ashamed to be American… well ok actually I don't really care that much, but you are douche.

      • Trez

        I have to agree. There are many greater reasons to be ashamed to be British. Unfortunately Chive hasn't posted pictures of any of them so making reference to them wouldn't really work so well. But overall being British suits me nicely. And I even had the good manners not to just write "First" or something equally as unoriginal.

      • P90

        Fuck off spunk-dustbin.

        • lol

          I actually laughed out loud.

          • Trez

            So did I. But then I had to put down another reason to be ashamed to be British

    • ROK247

      these kinds of people make me afraid to leave the house in the morning!

    • Ctr

      Except it's all Burberry, so this one doesn't bug me all that much

      • Sir Snobbery

        I think that's the point. The only people who wear Burberry in Britain are the kind of people who go to the football to stab a 17 year old fan from the opposition team. Its not a good look.

    • ClassAct

      So does she have a different stroller/outfit for everyday of the week?
      Or does she just take the baby out on the nanny's day off?
      Either way you Brits should be ashamed…

    • pingpongpineapple

      daniella westbrook, a shit soap actress from london. famous for half her nose missing from showbiz sherbert. A classic chav.

  • Rado

    Haha replace the MBPro with an 07 MacBook and the Mouse with a track pad and eliminate all the charging stands in #6 and I could have taken that picture.

    • Anakrusix

      do it. 🙂

    • 123

      well, apparently to Mac the Intern you're on the same level as the chick who carved Biebers name in her arm and the guy in a cork jacket. I think the message is "if you buy Apple products, you're a freak", but I'm not sure.

      • Ed209

        No, it's more along the lines of "You just spent 4x the money of a comparable product, that would have had more functionality."

        • ed209=dumbsas

          Oh, that's the message? Ok then. Funny stuff. Seem like it's in the right place too. Tell me again about that comparable product to the iPad that costs a quarter of the price? Need to get one of those. I'm not even going to bother defending the iPhone. It's staggering success and the fact that every company in the world is still rushing to get out a me-too phone modeled after it speaks for itself. </pwnage>

          • Any

            See any non-Apple product.

            • 123

              just name one then, dumbass

              • DevilsReject97

                HP Slate, BB Playbook, just about any Android powered phone (minus the difference in screen size)

                You are also talking about something that basically ripped off the tablet portion of a PC tablet and made it touchscreen only. Gee…those have been out forever…

                And as for the iPhone, the only thing about it that was revolutionary was that it crossed the business/personal world. Nothing about the phone itself was actually revolutionary. It was the mere fact that it took the best of things like Blackberry, Windows Mobile (not much there), mp3 players, and the Sidekick, and combined it. It made it possible to make an iPod into a phone….and that's why it did so well.

                Still, it's no longer relevant in the world of cell phones…as the Android powered phones are doing it cheaper, better, and in about half of the phones, better hardware…

                I'm not convinced that Apple was really a game changer, it just had a better jingle/better technology available when it sold the iPhone. Other companies had tried similar ideas, but fell short…

                • 123

                  You're right, I totally forgot about the awesome HP Slate and the BB Playbook. I mean, just about anybody you ask wouldn't know the difference between those and an iPad. I bet you could convince anyone to trade their ipad in for one of those two excellent devices. lmao. As far as the Android thing goes, its a poor imitation at best and you know it. You keep your android phone and you BB playbook. I won't say Apple is perfect, but don't sit here and make comparisons to inferior products (and more expensive in the case of the Slate) like if validates your argument that they're better. Specs don't make a great device. Apple has an ecosystem that's gerat. The overall apple experience trounces the Android experience. YOU KNOW THIS ALREADY. I don't even know why I engage in these rants with people who are just flat out lying. And if you're not lying then you're just stupid and either way the whole exercise is pointless.

                  • Raymon

                    Groupie

          • Fasteddy14

            Aside from the Ipad/Iphone, which are truly exceptional C.E. devices. There is nothing unique about the apple hardware except that you pay 3-4 times more than for exactly the same processor/memory/hdd. Don't get me wrong…their build quality and designs are excellent, but you are paying 3-4 times more for that build quality…it better be great.

            As for the security of the OS, there hasn't been much of a user base for hackers to go after. Now that Apple's market-share has increased dramatically, hackers are working diligently to pwn the OS/Safari, if only to wipe the smug look off your faces… Safari was hacked in 5 seconds at the last PWN2Own conference, despite Apple having sneaked a patched version of Safari out just prior to the contest closing 62 previously identified vulnerabilities…

            • Ctr

              How is it sneaking out a version, when the point of the conference is to find new exploits not known ones?

        • gene

          3-4x the price of what exactly? a parts-bin special that you built yourself in your basement maybe… i could go to a junkyard and find a turbo dodge from the 80s, put $2,000 in parts into it and blow the doors off a $125k porsche too, guess which one would be my choice at the end of the day?

          compared to other reputable computer manufacturers out there (sony, dell, hp, etc) apple's prices are right in line (http://i.imgur.com/318fO.png).

          go find me a PC of similar built quality and features that will out benchmark the new SSD i7 imacs for less money (including the beautiful 27" display).

          i know it's cool to hate apple still, so go you, but you all need to come up with a better argument than apple overcharging for their products (hint: there are plenty).

          • Ctr

            You forget it needs to have a resolution of 2560 by 1440 pixels, which at a minimum will cost $900 alone for the monitor (http://accessories.us.dell.com/sna/productdetail.aspx?c=us&cs=04&l=en&sku=224-8284). I was once a hater of Macs, purchased one for the OS and have never turned back (except I still have to work on a PC).

            • Matt

              'Zactly. I don't get caught up in the whole "Apple fanboy" thing, but come ON–they're just better. Do they cost more? Of course! But somehow, people still bitch about it as if that's the only issue worth considering. The fact is, we pay it because it WORKS BETTER. How can I explain it more clearly? Yeah, you could assemble a PC for less money and have awesome hardware. No question. But could it run Mac OS? iLife? iPhoto? Logic Pro? Final Cut? Garage Band? And could it do it without crashing all the time? And with less than 1% the virus infection rate? On a 27" screen?

              I run all the Microsoft Office suite, all the Adobe CS5 suite, and can't recall them ever crashing. I used to run them on Windows, and had problem after problem. So please stop bitching about hardware price and whether the products are "innovative game changers." Because sometimes you aren't paying so you can "change the game" or other bullshit, you're paying because you want the stuff to work right. It's not that Macs cost MORE, it's that Macs do what they should, and options that cost less are lower quality too. Yeah, Taco Bell costs less than Cantina Laredo, but don't try to tell me that means Cantina Laredo sucks 'cause I could have had a burrito for 99 cents instead.

              • Matt

                Which reminds me, it's supper time. I'm heading to Cantina Laredo now.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=717771106 Scott McGill

      Apple…it just works

      • Christian Lander

        Stuff White People Like # 40, Apple Products

        It is surprising that it took all the way to #40 to call out Apple products. Initially, we were planning for an entire week on Apple products, but that would just be over kill.

        Plain and simple, white people don’t just like Apple, they love and need Apple to operate.

        On the surface, you would ask yourself, how is that white people love a multi-billion dollar company with manufacturing plants in China, mass production, and that contributes to global pollution through the manufacture of consumer electronic devices?

        Simple answer: Apple products tell the world you are creative and unique. They are an exclusive product line only used by every white college student, designer, writer, English teacher, and hipster on the planet.

        You see, a long time ago Apple’s were super popular among layout artists and graphic designers. Then Apple released Final Cut Pro and became the standard for film editors. As a result, lots of creative industries used Apple computers instead of PCs. Eventually, people started making the connection, and all of a sudden all white people need to have a Mac.

        When you ask white people about Mac’s they will say “oh, it’s so much better than Windows,” “it’s just easier to use,” “they are so cutting edge,” and so forth. What’s amazing is that white people NEED to meet people who use Windows to justify themselves spending an extra $500 for a pretty looking machine.

        It is also important that white people are reminded of their creativity, and remember you need a Mac to creatively check email, creatively check websites, and creatively watch DVDs on planes.

        White people also need iPods, iPhones, Apple TV, AirPort Express stations, and anything else that Apple will produce. Because you need to express your uniqueness by purchasing everything that a publicly traded company produces.

        Apple products also come with stickers. Some people put them on their computer, some people put them on windows, but to take it to the pinnacle of whiteness, you need to put the Apple sticker in the rear window of your Prius, Jetta, BMW, Subaru 4WD Station Wagon or Audi. You then need to drive to a local coffee shop (Starbucks will do in a pinch) and set up your apple for the world to see. Thankfully, the Apple logo on the back will light up! So even in a dark place, people can see how unique and creative you (and the five other people doing the exact same thing) truly are!

        Knowledge of Apple products can be useful in a number of social situations. If you see a white person with a Mac, an easy way to approach them is to say “Is that a Powerbook? What OS do you have?” They will happily start talking to you, after the requisite five minutes, you can invite them to an 80s night.

        • 123

          Kudos to you, fine sir. That is one of the funniest things I've seen in a long time. Making the whole pc v/s mac thing a racial issue. BRILLIANT! Pointing out how they set the standard for creative types and then leaping to "and now white people need a mac". Absolutely love it. I read it back in a Buckwheat voice and its even funnier. "When you axe da white folk 'bout a mac". You may be a genius.

          • Scott Evil

            you're an idiot.

    • Mark Roberts

      http://articles.cnn.com/2011-05-19/tech/apple.rel

      You'll probably never beat the level of entertainment that a redicuouls rant from a religous fanatic can provide, but you people and your brand loyalty are still pretty funny.

      • Felicia

        NERDS

  • DCMOFO

    #12
    For his sake, I hope he lost a really big bet.

    • arTee

      Still not gayer than #1

      • b-ry

        neither one of those two is as gay as the chivers.

      • ONRGFHOFR

        Maybe it's my knee-jerk tendency to recoil from mob behavior, but it seems to me that when hating something has become such a cliche that people catcall it without watching it – well, that's not a taste judgment anymore. It's just neuro-twitches working their way through lemming brains. If there was ever a time when hating Twilight was cutting-edge and cool, it was when the series was just a crypto-Mormon set of books about a mopey princess and her sparkly, obsessive prince whose penis has the power to blacken her womb.

        Only the discerning hated those novels. There were interesting reasons to do it, like the fact that the books taught women that men were supposed to take care of them. And that it was OK to promise your infant daughter in marriage to a creepy adult guy who is in love with you.

        But hating the movies? Anybody who has ever sneered at Hot Topic can do that. Hell, you can probably buy anti-Twilight gear at Hot Topic, right next to the pro-Twilight belt buckles. My point is that people are hating on the movies so vocally not because they have actually watched them, evaluated them in the context of other paranormal romance narratives, and deemed them aesthetically inferior. They hate them because it's what everybody else is doing. Especially men.

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001019719478 Drew Bolden

        yeah…the tattoo is ALOT gayer

    • bernard

      He got it for shits and giggles. no bet involved…. He plays in a band called I am Casettes.

      • clegg

        sounds like a dumbass band

    • http://myllymae.tumblr.com/ mylismo

      Maybe he tought that world was coming to it's end at May 21 2011.

    • h00rnz

      isn't that the guy from Hoobastank?

    • hapa_nerd

      I went to high school with him!

    • DeathByCherio

      Well maybe he was getting it amputated and this was a big "Fuck You!" to say goodbye to it…

    • Zoey

      I sure hope it's either 'shopped or temporary, or he's into young girls.
      Otherwise, I've got some bad news for this guy.

    • jack

      #12 and # 21 must love anal sex

  • Anakrusix

    #4 – Lol. That kid is surprisingly thin.

    • saltygary

      Having a high metabolism doesn't stop the diabetes.

    • Just Sayin'

      I was going to post exactly the same thing…

  • Catence

    So much is wrong with the people in this post. WTF.

    • ThatGuy

      And I'm sure you life and mind are just perfect.

      • Redbirds

        Her chest is

        • b-ry

          no it's not, it's fake.

      • luke

        shit happens, like you not being able to use grammar correctly

        • Christian Lander

          Stuff White People Like # 99, Grammar

          White people love rules. It explains why so they get upset when people cut in line, why they tip so religiously and why they become lawyers. But without a doubt, the rule system that white people love the most is grammar. It is in their blood not only to use perfect grammar but also to spend significant portions of time pointing out the errors of others.

          When asking someone about their biggest annoyances in life, you might expect responses like “hunger,” “being poor,” or “getting shot.” If you ask a white person, the most common response will likely be “people who use ‘their’ when they mean ‘there.’ Maybe comma splices, I’m not sure but it’s definitely one of the two.”

          If you wish to gain the respect of a white person, it’s probably a good idea that you find an obscure and debated grammar rule such as the “Oxford Comma” and take a firm stance on what you believe is correct. This is seen as more productive and forward thinking than simply stating your anger at the improper use of “it’s.

          Another important thing to know is that when white people read magazines and books they are always looking for grammar and spelling mistakes. In fact, one of the greatest joys a white person can experience is to catch a grammar mistake in a major publication. Finding one allows a white person to believe that they are better than the writer and the publication since they would have caught the mistake. The more respected the publication, the greater the thrill. If a white person were to catch a mistake in The New Yorker, it would be a sufficient reason for a large party.

          Though they reserve the harshest judgment for professional, do not assume that white people will cast a blind eye to your grammar mistakes in email and official documents. They will judge you and make a general assessment about your intelligence after the first infraction. Fortunately, this situation can be improved if you ask a white person to proof read your work before you send it out. “Hey Jill, I’m sorry to do this, but I have a business degree and I’m a terrible writer. Can you look this over for me?” This deft maneuver will allow the white person to feel as though their liberal arts degree has a purpose and allow you to do something more interesting.

          Don’t worry, it is impossible for a white person to turn down the opportunity to proofread.

          • Madmartigan

            "I'm not a racist, I'm a separatist!"

  • BSS

    #15 is actually pretty cool. Wouldn't mind that.

    • http://twitter.com/#!/gfeinberg86 GreyGhost9

      agreed that i think is the only acceptable one in the group. i would play for hours.

    • Zoey

      If you had all that, wouldn't you at least have a cooler track than the shape that came with the original set??

  • Kcruz09

    #1 BURN IT! Burn it all!!!!!

    • https://www.facebook.com/jason.ciotti Jason Ciotti

      and then toss in some grenades for good measure

    • Nick_FTW

      I couldn't have said it better myself

    • b-ry

      shut the fuck up. just 'cause it's "cool" to hate it doesn't mean you have to. like all the faggots on this site say when someone directs an insult to one of the skanky-ass chivettes: "if you don't like it, ignore it".

    • IHBREW

      Maybe it's my knee-jerk tendency to recoil from mob behavior, but it seems to me that when hating something has become such a cliche that people catcall it without watching it – well, that's not a taste judgment anymore. It's just neuro-twitches working their way through lemming brains. If there was ever a time when hating Twilight was cutting-edge and cool, it was when the series was just a crypto-Mormon set of books about a mopey princess and her sparkly, obsessive prince whose penis has the power to blacken her womb.

      Only the discerning hated those novels. There were interesting reasons to do it, like the fact that the books taught women that men were supposed to take care of them. And that it was OK to promise your infant daughter in marriage to a creepy adult guy who is in love with you.

      But hating the movies? Anybody who has ever sneered at Hot Topic can do that. Hell, you can probably buy anti-Twilight gear at Hot Topic, right next to the pro-Twilight belt buckles. My point is that people are hating on the movies so vocally not because they have actually watched them, evaluated them in the context of other paranormal romance narratives, and deemed them aesthetically inferior. They hate them because it's what everybody else is doing. Especially men.

      • Robert Plant

        Twilight hate is something people do to fit in with the cool kids. It’s like hating Justin Beiber when you’ve barely listened to any of his music. They feel it puts them in a social group directly opposite to the ‘populist masses’ that consume the ‘crap’ that they think ‘unworthy of their refined taste’.

        • JoJo Reyes

          I've watched Twilight AND listened to Beiber…I still hate them both…

  • http://man-lair.com Stafferty

    I'm glad I don't have any crazy obessions two three four. I mean it has be be really tough to be obsessed with anything to this degree two three four. I know that collecting can be a great therapy to some people but sometimes it goes too far if two three four. However, how many of us are "obsessed" with something and don't even know it two three four. We could all be a lot worse two three four.

    • Nate

      If your OCD and you know it, Wash your hands…….

    • Graham

      Ah…. I see what you did there

    • jason_in_pc

      o.0

    • Shorty

      actually.. 'two three four' is counting which is a consequence or action of a potential underlying 'obsession' so actually saying.. or typing.. 'two three four'.. is technically a 'compulsion'

      go ahead.. downvote me for nerdiness.. I deserve it

  • helpermonkey

    #21 Call…the…police

    • jason_in_pc

      i wonder if her parents even noticed? sad… really sad.

      • reqllowquuintwit

        Her parents should have an abortion…

        • ThatGuy

          Because she painted her arm to shock he internets? Not the craziest thing an adolescent girl has ever done.

          • helpermonkey

            No…that would have to be growing up to be Michele Bachmann. Also, that's not paint.

          • max

            YEP, THAT IS BLOOOOOD!!!…AND THOSE ARE CUTS. BY THE WAY, SHE HESITATED AT HTE END

    • E.V.L.

      Absolutely, this person needs counseling!!

    • http://www.myspace.com/theamericanmaniacs BentWrenches

      I Like how the carving started pretty deep and got lighter as the pain became more obvious #21

  • http://thechive.com ontherun1989

    #3 It's like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife.

    • Snizzle

      I was thinking "Spoonman" by Soundgarden

      • Thumpybass

        I was thinking The Tick.

    • jason_in_pc

      oh, i see what you did there.

    • FreakyBobo

      You could say, he enjoys 'Spooning'..

      What, no?..

      • E.V.L.

        Yeah, that works too 🙂

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=514615429 Pat Overton

      DAMN! Too late for the "Isn't it Ironic" comment. Well played 'ontherun'. Well played.

      • http://thechive.com ontherun1989

        It was the first thing that came to mind. I saw it and all I could think of was 'Ironic' by Alanis Morissette.

    • E.V.L.

      Haha nice!

    • crazydog

      He's the Blue Raja!! He should have brought his large pie server!!

    • Ken

      There is no spoon.

    • will

      Come together with your hands

  • Anakrusix

    #21 – Why do you do this to yourself? Quit being a pussy and just cut your arm off.

    • E.V.L.

      … and BEAT Justin Bieber with the bloody stump!!

      • b-ry

        Twilight hate is something you do to fit in with the cool kids. It’s like hating Justin Beiber when you’ve barely listened to any of his music. It puts you in a social group directly opposite to the ‘populist masses’ that consume the ‘crap’ that you think ‘unworthy of your refined taste’.

        • Anakrusix

          I was talking about cutting into his/her arm. It's pathetically stupid.

          I've been watching America's Got Talent and they play a lot of beiber. I find it incredibly annoying. And with Twilight. Come on. What kind of man enjoys movies directed for teenage girls? If i want to watch vampires, I'd rather watch Blade. You know. Where they don't sparkle.

          I'm not going to pretend to like or hate something because other people do. What's the point?

    • Mitch

      In the word of Samuel L. Jackson from the movie 187, "Don't be half ass stupid, be ALL THE WAY STUPID!"

    • loley

      remember: "it's DOWN THE ROAD, not ACROSS THE STREET"

  • mojo2975

    #13 now thats gangster
    #17 wow…….just wow

    • Mitch

      #17 is an actual sect of society in Japan called Ganguro….look it up, hilarity will ensue.

      • Fasteddy14

        Yeah…well we have hipsters and emo kids…I'll take the self tanning failure above over them any day…

      • Zoey

        oompa loompa, doompati doo…

        • mojo2975

          LOL!! i was kinda thinking the same.

  • BulletproofMonk

    #27 is actually kinda cool

    • arTee

      … unless you plan on ever getting laid.

      • matt

        actually it could increase your chances, and if the girls a twilight fan it weeds out the crazies

    • jason_in_pc

      one day your going to see a vagina in real life; its gonna be a game changer i promise you. until then just be yourself and it will all work out. after it happens you will see why everyone giggled a little bit when you went by.

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001019719478 Drew Bolden

        hahahahahahahaha

    • Cake is a Lie

      In all honesty, if he just painted the back wall a solid, or two tone color – it would be a really nice room.

      • D_K

        And removed the really gay witch hat proudly displayed on his bed

    • reqllowquuintwit

      Just get rid of the "Harry Potter" script…the blue fade-to-black paint could be legit on its own…

    • bubblerider86

      yea, i liked it too….but i wouldn't ever do it

    • Cap

      Because its more subtle than the rest

  • randy mcbadger

    #12 looks like a fatter version of Mac from always sunny in philadelphia.

    • Sawyer5169
      • JPC

        Was about to reply….. Mac gained 50 pounds for the sole reason that he thought the character would be funnier if he suddenly got fat…..I have to agree, with Mac's misguided belief that he's in awesome shape and is a martial arts master, it probably will be funnier if he's a fat tub of lard now.

    • ChucklesTheClown

      Man Card…REJECTED!!!!

  • Brad

    #12 Wow, you're so ironic, you win…

    • GUS

      The fat version that is not cool enough to wear cut off sleeve shirts.

  • Flymolo

    I thought "Toaster Collection" was the caption for #17

    • Edge

      That would be "Toasted".

    • j22

      I'd hit it

      • ThatGuy

        So would I. But I also hump my mattress so…

      • Ken

        …with a club.

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001019719478 Drew Bolden

        with a tire iron

  • disturbed

    #5 I'll talk to her privately.

    • JAFitC

      Isn't that the tartan of clan MacNutz?

  • MacNCheesePro

    I see nothing wrong with #6 other than I could get more work done with that set up than what I have now. My gogo gadget feeling is going through the roof as well, lol

    • McBeastie

      more work done? more chivin' maybe.

      • MacNCheesePro

        My wife has a 27" iMac. I can have two remote desktop sessions open, my email and the Chive on one screen. I'll take a pic and post it for Chivin Everywhere gallery next week, lol!

    • yourmother

      the coffee mug is where they went overboard

  • Dr3xell

    #12 #21 Both of these people should be killed………period

    • Phlerm

      or maybe just get some help?

      • Dr3xell

        Help? Help can fix that cutter, but that tattoo is never coming off…………

        • Fasteddy14

          I've seen some tattoo artists ink over truly horrible tattoos and make them look amazing…While unfortunate, nothing is completely permanent… except those people that cut sections of skin out in a pattern. You're fucked there…

  • http://www.facebook.com/THIS.SPACE.4.RENT Tim Love

    Ancient man would be so disappointed

  • zym

    OK, I want #29. A garment fine enough to buried in a KISS coffin in.

    • loley

      so CORKY!

  • http://thechive.com/ mattythegooch

    I'd much rather be covered in Burberry #5 than living in Swap meet Louis!

    • jpk

      #2 Mary Pong's house?

      • http://thechive.com/ mattythegooch

        EXACTLY!!!!

  • poopie

    #14 herrrooo kitty

  • jim halpert

    the fuck is wrong with thes people?…

    • Pwndu232

      I think you mean: "What the fuck is wrong with these people?"

      And to answer your question: "It's really hard to tell. Maybe they misunderstood their mother's when she told them they were "special".

      • ThatGuy

        Or maybe they, I dunno, find something interesting and so choose to spend their own time and money on it.

      • bigdeal

        i fucking HATE people who try to get on here and correct peoples comments..with their own comment thats full of FUCKING ERRORS! shut the fuck UP! theres more to humor then being a little whiny bitch and correcting everyone.. there too much of that on here lately..

        apostrophe denotes POSSESSION!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

        fucking people….

        • littledeal

          actually, when it's "it's" the apostrophe works as a contraction for "it is" =o

  • Kodos

    #17
    still hotter than Snooki

    • Bob

      Agreed. I still wouldn't have sex with this though. Actually I would, but I wouldn't tell anyone about it.

    • Kamps414

      #13 McDonald's gangsta. Watch out for a Fry-by.

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