Daily Afternoon Randomness (48 Photos)

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  • lars

    #10, #20, #48

    here's to smiling chivettes… and dylan

    • Fuck You

      Man, you are so fucking creative with your comment. It must have taken you a long time to come up with something as witty and original as what you just shared with us. Thank you for your waste-of-space comment.

      • Billy

        Angry much?

      • BelowHeavens

        Cus everything has to be so witty all the time. And Man, you are so fucking creative with your tagline. It must have taken you a long time to come up with something as witty and original as your enlightening tagline. I have no learned what 42 means. I thank you.

        • Fuck You

          Hi. Welcome to The Chive, a website focused on humor and wit. You must be new, I shall be your guide.

          • BelowHeavens

            In case you missed it my comment was full of sarcasm, and maybe you kinda of missed how it was mocking you. But that's ok. I didn't know trolling like you was funny and witty; now I do.

            • Fuck You

              No. I got it. Just wasn't funny.

              • BelowHeavens

                cus insulting someone for no apparent reason other than you seem annoyed is? Then you wouldn't be taking your own advice. Especially because you don't seem to have much humor (guess you wouldn't be a very good guide than). I'll just keep on Chiving, oh an enjoying those that show love to Chivers and Chivettes….but oh well, shucks, at least I got a good laugh out of my comment than…hope you enjoy your tolling, being so angry must bring much enjoyment to your life. Well I'm off to another adventure.

                Peace Fuck You and may The Chive bring more smiles to your trolling face

                p.s. far from my first time here, thanks for the offer to be my guide though, but I'll pass.

                • Robert Plant

                  lol, butthurt.

    • Jason

      #10 looks to be hot, but why are all the pics MySpace angles?

      • Josh

        Reptar shirt. That is all.

    • Andrew

      were the pictures placed in that order on purpose or was that a complete accident?

      • http://www.myspace.com/theamericanmaniacs BentWrenches

        There are no accidental pic placements on The Chive

    • drewscriver

      And three cheers to you for posting something relevant rather than being the typical d-bag that posts "First!" here.

    • Bdrizzle

      I think we need more belly dancing chivettes – and thanks to Dylan for yet another awesome post

  • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

    Hi bait, just wanted to give you a sneak preview of the new Bill Murray movie poster: http://bit.ly/o7Szsa
    Yes it's actually BM and SFW 'n all ya cowards.
    BTW FIRRRRST!!!1!

    Hugs,
    Paula
    – the one you love to hate

    • Shawn

      I love you Paula. Marry me.

      • Shawn

        you're not the real Shawn!

    • Kant

      You are such a lovable cunt.

    • Stanji

      btw first fail

    • Coldzilla

      To quote someone responding to a "first" earlier today…….

      "You misspelled: "I'm a lonely douchebag".

      You can add hypocrite to that yourself πŸ˜‰

      • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

        Owww… you've really been paying attention! Not enough to notice I added the 'first' part later, but still… You must have a crush on me ❀

        Hugs,
        Paula
        – care for a free drink?

        • Coldzilla

          Well I saw the BTW but its hard to tell if its been added after the fact or not

          As for the drink – no thanks. Im still recovering from that Rhubarb pie roofie you gave me at ThanksGiving

          BTW either you wrong-numbered me or you actually DO live with Charlie Sheen xD

    • jas

      paulas a fat girl name

      • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

        Yeah I get that a lot these days. Exclusively from you though. Come hug the lovehandles… ❀

        Hugs,
        Paula
        – the one you lovehandle to hate

  • Doofenshmirtz

    #16…Keenan Cahill?

    • SweetAwesomeness

      i was thinking smeagol….

      • sampson

        i was thinking beetlejuice

    • Fuck You

      Find it.

    • Leeks

      A young Emperor Palpatine

    • Oolon Colluphid

      Looks like a morlock from the 1960 Time Machine.

    • Mauribell

      I was actually on this ride with these people, and that little girl was actually mentally challenged and in a wheelchair. So…this isn't funny.

      • The Chivery

        It's okay. We're Chivers. We're all extremely retarded ourselves. Chive on!

      • tyler

        we're online. it's even funnier now!

    • LeTour

      A almost feel like we shouldnt be laughing at this…

  • JAPIV

    #47 Ah the wonders of nature…

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=58203030 Andrew Tarr

      It's beautiful

    • BelowHeavens

      I must say that is a lovely sunset

    • DCBizzle

      nothin like some doggy style sex on the beach

    • Catch

      It's so romantic.

  • Tim

    #8….Tebow's off season routine

    • http://twitter.com/soy_LG @soy_LG

      True story, went to school with him and know him personally… he does this every day, on the hour, every hour. Car insurance was high in Gainesville.

      • Monk

        So did I. Actually one of the nicest guys ever, so his whole family. Also they all smash their heads into cars… perhaps there is a correlation… (Not to self slam head into things.. become successful.)

        • http://twitter.com/soy_LG @soy_LG

          You went to UF also?! What year?! I actually have been friends with Peter (Tim's older brother) since I started school and they all really are awesome people.

          • Monk

            Nice! Yea, graduated in '08 and went to highscool with him at Nease, in Jax. Peter is a great guy too, the entire family is so down to earth. Never have known anyone to meet them and have anything but good things to say. I shoulda known you were a Gator Girl. πŸ™‚

            • http://twitter.com/soy_LG @soy_LG

              I graduated in '09! Wonder if we ever ran into each other?! Did you hang out with any of the athletes by chance? I dated (am dating) Tobias Work, a swimmer from UF, and consequently hung out a lot more with the athletes than the 'normies' (I hate that term, but it works for descriptive purposes). So cool that you're a Gator Chiver!

              • Monk

                That's awesome. Yea, I did run in circles with some of the guys on the football and basketball team, (Swanson, Beemer, Cooper, etc.) no swimmers I can think of although all the FL athletes pretty much hung out together. I've always pretty much been a social floater, so mostly 'normies' I guess. Haha. My names Jake btw. I think I would remember you, but I don't doubt we probably ran into each other at some point. There's def a few Gator Chivers out there. Ran into some when I went back there in April to see Daniel Tosh at the O'Connell center. Small world! πŸ˜‰ Chive On!

      • Koopa

        Prove it….

        • http://twitter.com/soy_LG @soy_LG

          Prove what?! That I went to UF and know Tebow and his family (and the rest of the UF football team)? I was a manager for the University Athletic Association at UF and dated/am currently dating a college athlete and professional swimmer (all athletes know/hang out as a whole at UF), so not sure exactly how you propose I prove this. No need to lie…not like knowing Tebow makes me any better of a person! Brandon Spikes is really the one football player from his year that I'm still close with anyway.

          • Protip

            Protip: Anytime someone asks you to prove something, on the internet, you can pretty much immediately write it off a s a troll.

            • http://twitter.com/soy_LG @soy_LG

              Gotcha'! Was ready to started uploading pictures!

              • Proof In The Pudding

                I figured a thesis for a persuasive paper was right around the corner.

              • Graham

                You are more than welcome to upload pictures anyway πŸ™‚

      • 123

        Finding out your a gator is pretty much the adulthood equivalent to finding out there was no Santa Claus. I'm pretty devastated right now.

    • Denver

      Also, he's awesome… as soon as he gets to play.

      • Mile High

        I hope him or Orton figure it out. 4-12 was bad enough.

    • Mr San Diego

      More like Te-BLOW……

      • the other OTHER Jen

        id like to pop that man's cherry. mmmm

  • yourmom

    BOOBS!

  • Robi5150

    #11
    Gary Coleman?

    • Namejoke

      More like Gary Patrolman.

    • Monk

      That's fucked up. He's dead., let him rest in peace. Different strokes for different folks I guess….

      • DWD

        I saw what you did there.

    • tralfaz

      What you talkin bout Robi5150?

  • Monk

    #40 That's not shallow at all…..

    • idunno

      no, that's beautiful

    • Bradolf Pittler

      Pitception

    • http://www.myspace.com/theamericanmaniacs BentWrenches

      Pretty deep actually

      • Glizz

        You dawg, we heard you like chick's armpits, so we….

    • j22

      judgmental ass

      • KentT

        Irony?

    • J.T.

      Ink-ception

    • DWD

      Whhhat? What's shallow about getting a tattoo of yourself … on yourself?

    • Tanz

      Kinda looks like Rachel McAdams

  • http://thechive.com ontherun1989

    #27 HONKS for Bill Fucking Murray

    • Not Again

      Old. Lame. Overrated.

      • Fiorello

        Agreed.

    • wuzzman16

      and go tigers!

    • TYR

      I love the Chive….but, sorry, Bill Murry just isn’t all that funny. And, while I’m at it, Emma Watson is just not very attractive.

      Let the thumbs down begin, but I really think I’m in the majority on this.

  • Dan

    #13 I hate when I do that.

    Also, lots of reposts the last couple days, even from posts earlier in the same day. What's up?

    • TheBiffer

      I noticed the same thing, not sure what's going on in Chiveland….

    • Chive Staff

      Laziness.

    • http://www.myspace.com/theamericanmaniacs BentWrenches

      I do that every time.my fridge at work contains mustard only

      • its_forge

        …and the funny thing about that is, you don't have to refrigerate mustard…

        • http://www.myspace.com/theamericanmaniacs BentWrenches

          Yeah,but,I work in Auto Repair.The fridge is the only clean place in the shop

          • its_forge

            Oh squeezable packaging is SO much more fun when it's coated in axle grease though!

            • http://www.myspace.com/theamericanmaniacs BentWrenches

              like that gif with the chick with the suntan lotion and the big bazongas

    • dan

      plenty of new stuff too. there's a lot of people who only look at the DAR everyday so the chive reposts. i'm one of those people.

    • http://twitter.com/irlNick @irlNick

      If you lived in So Cal near the beach like they do this week, trust me you'd be lazy and enjoying it. Its been pretty damn nice here lately.

    • JPC

      Welcome. You must not have visited the Chive in the last year or so. Reposting their own pictures is sort of their thing now.

  • http://www.thechive.com DistractedIndividual

    #13 All the time 😦

    • http://www.youtube.com/user/ADHDavenger13?feature=mhsn Firefighter23

      If I do I just kill the closest wild animal and warm it up in the microwave

      • David Milinovic

        And that is why, you sir, are awesome.

      • http://www.thechive.com DistractedIndividual

        Sounds like a good idea…to bad the nearest animal would be the 300lb accountant in the cubicle down the hall…..I don't think that would taste very good at all :S

        • Accounting Cookbook

          You'd be surprised.

    • Gutterville

      My dad through and through

    • Fuck You

      Women. Always forgetting important things, but remembering that I left the toilet seat up five fucking years ago.

      • http://www.thechive.com DistractedIndividual

        We have now gotten to the point where there is not even a decent comment, just bitching and moaning again and again. Fuck you! It pisses me off when people just waste space. If you're a fucking moron who can't come up with anything interesting to add, fucking do me a favor and don't fucking comment.
        πŸ˜€

        • Fuck You

          I see what you did there, and it wasn't funny.

          • http://www.thechive.com DistractedIndividual

            By golly you're right!
            It did however make me smile to mock you, in the end that's all that matters πŸ˜€

            • Fuck You

              Was it as good for you as it was for me?

              • http://www.thechive.com DistractedIndividual

                So much better than you know πŸ˜€

                • Fiorello

                  Shut up. Cunt

        • Bluto

          Oh! The irony!

        • Observant

          In all fairness, "all the time" isn't really an interesting comment either…

  • Dan

    #20 Mission accomplished!!!!

    • db3300

      She's beautiful but it kind of ruins the fantasy knowing she has a boyfriend. You can tell because a girl like this would never have a bedroom that looks that hideous.

    • Chesty Laroo

      πŸ˜€

  • BRYAN

    #6 #20 #34

    • Fuck You

      We have now gotten to the point where there is not even a comment, just pictures posted again. Fuck you! It pisses me off when people just waste space. If you're a fucking moron who can't come up with anything interesting to add, fucking do me a favor and don't fucking comment.

      • Fuck You

        And yes, I mad bro.

        • Jabroni

          look

          • Jabroni

            i'm

            • Jabroni

              wasting

              • Jabroni

                space

                • Jabroni

                  deal

                  • Jabroni

                    with

                    • Jabroni

                      it

                    • Jabroni

                      bitch

                    • Obviously.

                      Obviously.

                    • http://www.thechive.com DistractedIndividual

                      πŸ˜€

                  • Ian

                    Combo breaker.

                    • Ian

                      …Shit. Messed that one up.

  • Vagina Jones

    #47 someone's a romantic.

    • vagina jones jr.

      ^ only thumbed this up because of the name

      • tralfaz

        You must be new here.

  • oX_Animal_Xo

    #34 is how an early DAR makes me feel πŸ™‚

    • Fuck You

      No one gives a shit. Think of something entertaining to say next time.

      • its_forge

        Dude or dudette, please just shut the fuck up.

        • Fuck You

          Clever.

        • Fiorello

          coming from you? the irony is killing me.

  • Rahm Emanuel

    #12 no you get your ass in the kitchen and make me a sandwich bitch!

    • disturbed

      She's armed and has great arms. MOAR!

    • will

      Great arms, yes. Can aim for shit? Not so much. Maybe do a better job of looking down the barrel of a frying pan.

      • William

        It's a shotgun from point blank range, aiming isn't really an issue. Oh and it's just a pose for a picture

    • Tommy2X4

      She's not dangerous when she's sleeping.

    • http://twitter.com/#!/gfeinberg86 GreyGhost9

      #12 i would like to Discuss guns with your friends and maybe show her mine? hmmm hmmm

      • hMMMM

        you called?

        • http://twitter.com/#!/gfeinberg86 GreyGhost9

          Why hello there…ummm i was wondering your feelings on the debate about accuracy of the Over-under versus the side by side style shotgun?

  • 123

    Said it before and I'll say it again, Ema Watson is NOT hot. Doesn't seem to matter how drunk I am even.

    • Matt

      I thought she was ok with the long hair, but I don't think shes attractive at all with the short.

    • Spank the Monkey

      Gay much?

    • Monk

      What about for a Klondike bar? (be honest)

      • Bluto

        What WOULDN'T I do for a Klondike bar? Especially if its a Heath Klondike bar…

        • Fucking Steve.

          Willingly give your self A.I.D.S.?

          • Bluto

            I'm not sure if he got a Klondike bar out of the deal, but it seems to have worked out okay for Magic Johnson.

    • Fiorello

      66 Most Overrated Women of 2011, 31 Emma Watson

      Remember how we asked if you took pics of the bodies of Keira Knightley’s body and compared it to pictures of Elisabetta Canalis’ body there would be no contest? Okay, let’s do the same with Emma (ranked #17 by Askmen, #69 by Maxim, and #23 by FHM) and compare her to Sports Illustrated swimsuit model Brooklyn Decker, Stacy Keibler, and Elle Liberachi (all ranked behind her on various lists). End of story.

      • phideauxe

        Who the fuck is we? Like anyone remembers who you are and some retarded post you vomited in the past. Guys who sit around and think of reasons why beautiful women aren't hot are gay. Sorry for the bad news.

        • phideauxe

          And i know gay. Anyone who doesn't like what I like, is gay. Anyone who doesn't love the thought of Bill Murray's saggy, sweaty, hairy, stinky, dirty testicals being dragged across their upper lip, is gay. Sorry.

      • you suck too

        So…your basis for judging a woman's hotness is purely physical? I don't know about the majority of Chivers here, but I find intelligence to be sexy as hell.

        • 123

          Yes, hotness is 100% based on physical appearance. You can't see intelligence from across the room. Once you get to know a girl, maybe she becomes hotter to you, but that doesn't affect what she looks like in a photograph. Sorry.

        • ORROE

          yeah, cause' god knows the reason the chive posts pics of these chicks is because they look so intelligent.

  • Jabroni

    #10 #12 #20 #23 #46 #48

    Damn I love Chivettes!!!

    • Fuck You

      No fucking way man…. you love Chivettes? You are truly the only fucking person in the world who does. Thanks for sharing that so now we can all know that we can love them too, because of your fucking genius contribution.

      • its_forge

        Okay the door is that way >>>> and we all strongly suggest you use it. Nobody likes a poster who doesn't have anything to contribute but the same stupid fucking shit over and over. Get the fuck out now.

        • Fuck off

          Hey fuck you get an original comment

        • Fuck You

          Thank you fucking douchebag for speaking on behalf of The Chive for some reason (who the fuck are you again?) and telling me to go somewhere else. You may have just won the prize for most novel suggestion ever. You're always on here, being a douchebag, but you don't see me coming over to your house and slapping the cock out of your ass. So, do me a favor, and be less of a douchebag.

          • Jabroni

            While you are being a condescending asshole, I'll be loving the Chivettes.

            • Fuck You

              Who said I am not doing both at once? Multi-tasking, it's the new Bill Murray.

              • Red

                that's not true. multi-tasking was never an overrated hack.

          • its_forge

            I remember when my Mom let *me* on the computer the first time.

            • Fuck You

              I remember when I first saw your mom on Craigslist the first time. It was last night. Tell her I said "So long and thanks for all the 'fish.'" errr… crabs.

              • its_forge

                Hurr hurr poopy fart hurr your mother fuck fuck fuck hurr hurr poopy fart. What're you, like, seven? My granddaughter's eight and she's more mature than this online.

                • Lowrent75

                  Feeding Trolls is bad for the ecology. If you feed them they continue to hang around lookig for shit to feed on…If you let them waste away it is better..More humane really.

                • Give n Take

                  You want to dish out insults? Learn how to take them. You're old, you've been around – you should know by now.

                  • b-ry

                    *sorry, meant to thumb you up.* agreed. funny forge is a grandfather. he yammers on like a doped up grandmother, to me.

                • Jimmy Page

                  shut the fuck up. you whiny old cunt.

              • Just Sayin'

                Apologies for one of the most overused sayings on the internet, but still;

                Haters gonna Hate.

              • tralfaz

                Schools out for Summer

                • its_forge

                  Yeah really, holy crap.

        • Fiorello

          "Nobody likes a poster who doesn't have anything to contribute but the same stupid fucking shit over and over."

          once again, the irony is proving hazardous to my health. (i have literally seen you make references to the door being somewhere, someway, over a dozen times).

          • its_forge

            I feel so sad for you that your life is so unbelievably empty that you can track how many times I've told someone criticizing TheCHIVE that they don't need to y'know, come to TheCHIVE if they don't want to. That's just so… so incredibly… sad.

            • Fiorello

              whatever you say, poe. but i can only aspire to the crushing depths of loneliness of one who has nothing better to do than than heckle people on the internet to get off his lawn.

            • Fuck You

              "For how highly Chivers, especially ones with IntenseDebate profile, think of themselves – you are a bunch of butt-hurt little nerds who get defensive at anything that sounds anything remotely like critique, because you are perfect – hence your positive rating, obviously – and everyone else needs to either go somewhere else or shut up. You can't take a fucking joke and instead of rolling with the punches, you whine like a little child."

              Couldn't resist. It just fits you too perfectly.

              • its_forge

                ???

                … this is a website that posts pictures of 20-ish women in panties. It ain't the fuckin' Wall Street Journal, dude. It is what it is. If you have the right to come in here and criticize a site I happen to like, then I have every right to tell you you're a worthless pathetic fuckhead. 'Kay? At this point it's probably best if we just say HTH, HAND and stop this stupid charade; if you *can't* stop at this point then I'll be convinced that you are a sad moron with utterly no life whatsoever.

                • Bingo

                  So what is a creepy old grandfather doing on a website looking at 20ish year-old girls in panties? Isn't there a bingo game you're missing somewhere?

                  • its_forge

                    I'm only 48; I'm a grownup, I'm not dead.

              • Fuck You

                God damn it, choose your own fucking name you cunts and stop trying to be me.

      • WillyP

        I support you.

        • Niggher Beater

          seconded.

  • Tis True

    #48 beats #45 in hotness and you know it to be true

  • Kodos

    #12 #23
    Girls with guns FTW!

  • mojo2975

    #20 Hello, and thank you for the smile.
    #23 HOT!! and she can shoot, thats sexy.

  • TheBiffer

    #11

    I see you driving round town with the girl I love, and I'm like F**k You!

  • workitgirl

    #17 This hurts me to watch.

    • Monk

      I just like how the other girl doesn't help at all, and just kinda stares at her.

    • creatorofbs

      i laughed my ass off. but if it was a guy it would hurt me to watch it

    • byron

      and u don't even have a penis, lol

    • red

      Won't that leave a gash?

    • StuckIt

      From the movie "Stick It"

    • NitroKa

      Oh she still has the ole tomahawk wound… box shots still hurt…

  • Dick

    #48 is hotter than #45 and you know it is true

    • Dick

      and #30 is hotter also. Admit it chive boys

    • Guest Commenter

      Agreed, for sure. But that ain't a hard bar to get over.

    • RedheadJAG

      #48 FTW

      • switch_24

        that's a nice "bag"

    • http://www.myspace.com/theamericanmaniacs BentWrenches

      true..

    • Guest Commenter

      Agreed, for sure. Though that ain't exactly a tough bar to hurdle.

      • DWD

        What are fucking high?

        • DWD

          are you* (damn-it, I kinda I am)

          • Guest Commenter

            Ha!

            Sorry for the double post, the chive and my job's service provider are not getting along today.

            Not high, just prefer my women to look like women, not young boys. Dylan is all woman, EW looked like a boy (and the haircut only exacerbates that)

            • Ilop

              Emma Watson look more like woman than Dylan. She is more classy.
              My choice is done.
              IMHO

              • Robert Plant

                both are really goddamn overrated. but i will admit emma watson is much classier than that horse-faced skank Dylan.

    • Anonamau5

      #20 is hotter than both

    • Chaos

      I've always had a thing for Emma Watson, so I'd have to disagree. To each their own I suppose.

      • Lou

        I agree there is something about her. Definitely digging the short hair thing she has going on.

  • Friday Friday

    #45
    Dave is not that funny.

    • Dick

      And she is NOT hot

      • perfect name for you

        its hair, itll grow back

        • DWD

          She's cute and all, but not really hot. (even with her hair back)

      • Chaos

        She is hot. Get over it.

        • Foosbah

          she is not. you get over it.

        • b-ry

          bullshit. she's overrated as fuck.

          • orlylol

            this.

    • panama99

      Maybe he's naked behind the desk……..

      • Ilop

        She is not hot ? Where are you putted your eyes ?
        She is classy girl. And that's hot.

        • Red

          Where did you putt your eyes ? That's what you have to say.

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