Daily Morning Awesomeness (20 Photos)

  • believeinJHA

    aaaaaannd first

    • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

      YOU'VE STOLEN MY RESERVED SPOT ASSHOLIO! I'm soooo gonna key your shit!
      Damn, answer 1 phone call after submitting and some jerk just beats you to it.

      – the one you love to hate

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=587208531 Benton McGrath

        I can only see the great Paula experiment ending in one of two ways. She turns out to be a dude or she turns out to be a hot girl.

        • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

          At FIRST I misread your post for "Paula experiment ending in two days". What would Freud have to say about that…?

          ANYWAYSSSSS: why can't I turn out to be a hot guy, hmm? HMM!!?

          – the one you love to hate

          • believeinJHA

            definitely a guy

            • snowbird

              or a 13 year old boy…. maybe Paula has like 8 egos… like the movie Catfish (which sucked).

              – Piss off Paula

              • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

                Ah I've seen that movie recently, and the quote "the last 45 minutes will blow your mind" should have read "If you make it trough the last 45 minutes you'll still blow out your brain".

                – the one you love to hate

            • Coldzilla

              Yeah the other day "she" told me to blow her


          • Spoiler Alert

            Spoiler alert: it's Bob….

            • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

              Bob thinks John knows Patty is on to the fact that LEO is in fact Paula!

              – the one you love to hate

    • DragonFart


  • n1ghtstalker

    #1 Both these guys have a big cock!

    • believeinJHA

      *are sharing a big cock

    • 2theblackhole

      damn it someone beat me to the cock…

      • bob

        don't worry, looks like there's plenty of cock to go around…

    • Squiggy

      Tee hee… shuttlecock.

      • Monk

        Explaining jokes makes them SO much better. Thanks.

        • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1618490651 Matthew James Belt

          "Monk said sarcastically

  • lobassra

    anyone else just get back from harry potter?

    • http://twitter.com/DriftwoodProse @DriftwoodProse


    • bigdeal

      yesand it fucking kicked ass.. i was not disappoint like i usually am after the movies

    • Chiverchiver

      loved it more than I love the idea of Paula falling into a bucket of lava!

      Well almost…..

    • ughhh

      Yes it was horrible tho. a bunch of nerds running around

    • Dick

      NERDS!!! NERDS!!! NERDS!!! NERDS!!!

    • BOCO Kid

      Didn't just get back, but it was great. Not the same as the book, but it told a great story.

      • ThereWasShrinkage

        thank god it isn't the same, the 7th book sucked balls

        • Henrik

          You can't read, huh?

  • Brad

    #18 2 cats one cup?

    • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

      Things Paula would like to see: 2 cats 1 blender.

      – the one you love to hate

      • DaddyD

        Q. What's red, green, and yellow and goes 200 mph?
        A. A Girl Scout in a blender.

        • physicsnazi

          wouldnt that be RPM?

    • equalizermax

      How many of you guys check that site catmatch.com if it's legit?

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=587208531 Benton McGrath

    This one was kinda… eh

    • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

      Choose your words carefully…. Do not insult my DMA…

      – the one you love to hate

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=587208531 Benton McGrath

        It just seemed like a pedestrian effort. Everyone was probably rushing out of the office to get in line for the midnight showing of Harry Potter.

  • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

    Hell, so soon? Are you trying to piss me off Bob? Making sure I can't post FIRST?
    Anyway can't wait till DARRRRR!!!!!

    – the one you love to hate

    • believeinJHA

      Yeah, FIRST was mine bitch

    • https://www.facebook.com/craigweiss.sd Craig Weiss

      Forget the DAR – bring on the Chivettes!

      • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

        No, if I'm correct there will be a great photo in todays DARRRRR…. <3

        – AND you'll get your wish

  • dash

    i got $20 on the bear in #17

    • thtech2

      my twenties on the big cat ,,,ever see a big cat in a big fight scary as shit bear got nothing on him he's fast strong and fights with all four bites on tears the shit out of enemy with all four paws like throwin that bear in a blender

      • Jen

        your punctuation is AMAZING!

        • j22

          i loled

        • ilovethechive

          as did I

      • Bewn

        Now way man the bear has got it, back in the days, they used to make bears fight lions and the bears just crushed the loins skull in one shot, granted its a tiger and they're bigger and stronger, but I'd still back the bear.

    • quintus

      I'll take that bet. That tiger ain't backing down!!

    • Maximus

      Fuck Yeah! BEAR VS TIGER!!!!

      • http://www.facebook.com/silaw89 Simon James Law

        I've read the new story about this picture the Bear is defending it cubs so there is no way that Bear is going to lose. Oh and I've watched documentaries about tigers before and encounters like these are pretty even.

        • Bossman123

          Mother Bear defending cubs…Tigers gonna be running.

    • PRT

      I'm thinkin surprise tree attack.

    • hMMMM

      Even though that's a sloth bear, I'm pretty sure it still holds an advantage over a tiger.

      • hMMMM

        *Correction* I don't think this sloth bear is protecting its cubs (which should make a difference), but it's not even a match…

        • lonin

          Pretty much summed it up when they said the Tiger's diet includes bear.

  • J_Henry

    Less #21 (whatever the fuck this is) and more nurse's showing their best ass stances #19. Please and thank you.

    • j22

      #21 brownbag it!

    • Average Chiver

      Still would!

  • Ghilo

    Number 9. Lolz had to look at it twice

    • Just Sayin'

      #9 …..for those who can't be bothered to scroll up.

  • http://www.gfys.org/ hahaha

    #4 Chivettes ?

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=587208531 Benton McGrath

      2,3,1 In that order

  • Mike


    • CapnMFingPlanet

      also, gandalf dies

      • Juan

        also, Bruce Willis was dead the whole time

        • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=587208531 Benton McGrath

          He was Tyler Durden the whole time.

          • Simon

            also, he leaves the island but Wilson falls from the raft and is lost forever.

            • Fur reels

              …right…and next thing you'll tell me is Mr. Orange was a cop the whole time.

              • Simon


                • tralfaz

                  That was fuck'n awesome, well done chivers

                  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=761074582 Jessica Condrey

                    C-C-C-C-C-Combo Breaker!

                    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=512437252 Seth Michaels

                      Condrey Wins!

                    • Zach

                      Awesome thread. Of course, the movie destroyed the amazing ending from the book but I suppose I shouldn't have expected anything less. Also, it turns out Westly was the Dread Pirate Roberts!

                    • Jason

                      But I thought that Paul Giamotti's character ended up being the healer…not the protector

                    • Catch

                      It ends with Harry bowing, saying "And if I don't see ya, good afternoon, good evening, and goodnight." then walking off the set. It made me cry.

                    • blabla

                      harry opens the box… it's hermione's head
                      no ron! don't shoot voldemort, he'll win!!
                      bang bang!!
                      voldemort won, man… voldemort won

                    • Bryan_W

                      It was all a dream

                    • rex

                      and that dream was inside of a dream

                    • Troy McClure

                      Oh my God, I was wrong. It was earth, all along.

                    • Patricio

                      You finally made a monkey…

                    • Juan

                      "Yes, they finally made a monkey…"

                    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1599679820 Robert Smith

                      You Maniacs! You blew it up! Ah, damn you! God damn you all to hell!

                    • Patricio

                      I feel like tralfaz was the true combo breaker here. But, nevertheless — well played.

    • Guibombe

      Damn all these movies and books for only this… So Star Wars!

  • http://www.gfys.org/ Human

    #17 NOT awesome ,the chive gets its jollies up when animals get hurt it seems. Just keep posting sluts.

    • James

      mama bear was protecting her 2 cubs actually. and the tiger ran away with it's tail between his legs. like you should, douche

    • bob

      YEA, cos animals dont get hurt in the wild… fagget.

      • http://www.gfys.org/ concerned

        Yeah but why glorify it ,why in a post saying this is awesome ? Don't make fun of something you don't understand faggot.

        • Annoyed

          Its nature!!, i.e. natural animal behaviour. Im sure both these animals don't care what you think, they are living life as they see fit and we happened to catch a glimps of it.

          It's awesome becuase its strange to see these animals interact and therfore interesting, its probably not even a fight just a bit of posturing.

          Now go and eat your tofu while i use my canine teeth to tear apart this chicken leg, as nature intended.

        • Just Sayin'

          EXACTLY! We need to raise awareness of animals causing cruelty to each other so we can stop this sort of thing happening!

          LOL joking, enjoy your vegetables…i'm off to fry some bacon!

        • RayBoogs

          They're not glorifying it you prick, and it is awesome as it's interesting, fact is everything in nature is in a struggle to survive so has to fight, so stop being a faggot and trying to humanize animals, because both of those animals would tear your ass apart and wouldn't give a shit, plus they would think it was awesome because they'd be getting their eat on! So why don't you stop talking shit about something you don't know.

          • Faggot

            I resent some of the implications contained in this otherwise intelligent discussion. I happen to like meat.

        • Broseph Stalin

          LOL you're dumb

        • Blumpkin

          Um, because a tiger and bear going at it is one of the MOST awesome things EVER. Throw a shark in the mix and you got yourself a pay-per-view phenom.

        • RIpple

          OH GOD! Won't somebody think of the CHILDREN?!!

    • THEGAME!

      Damn Nature, You Scary!

    • PRT

      trolling? you decide….

  • Cliff

    wow, I'm actually near the front of the comments for once…..
    #12….so I married an axe murderer?

    • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

      I think she's hot with an axe! Let's fight girl!

      – the one you love to hate

      • Cliff

        She's hot with or without an axe. Though the axe could add to some interesting foreplay.

    • CapnMFingPlanet

      i would 😀

    • http://echogeo.wordpress.com/ echogeo

      If I didn't know better I'd swear that was one of the Olsen twins.

    • Rick

      #11 Do ye see the size of that boys head, it's like sputnik for gods sakes.

      • SkyVader

        It's like an orange on a toothpick!

    • Catch


    • JAFitC

      I'd axe her out. . . .

    • rishi_11_2002

      i thought this would animate.. but IT NEVER DID!

  • jpp407

    #19 At least there is a shit load of toilet paper for the 'Ass tance'

  • Tessa

    I'm playing Club Cant Handle Me on my iPod now and the Harry Potter GIF is moving to the beat!

    I am a big fan of Harry Potter but I got disappointed with the movie. Anyone else who didn't like it?

    • James

      is that gif a scene from the new one? if so, i'll watch it!

    • Chiverchiver

      No Tessa, you were the only one. I am disappointed in you.

  • Patrick

    #1 Thats the biggest cock I've ever seen. Shuttlecock that is.

    • RayBoogs

      *sigh* if you have to explain the joke, its not funny…

    • Pat's comedy coach

      You almost had it that time, but you didn't know when to shut up.

      • Jack Mehoff

        He was trying to not seem gay, but….TOO LATE!!!!!!

  • Logan

    it was meh

  • Joel


    Peter: What would you do if you had a million dollars?

    Lawrence: I'll tell you what I'd do. Two chicks at the same time.

    • LuvH8fulChix

      Classic line! And that deadpan stare afterwards…

    • MacNCheesePro

      That and this one:

      Peter: At your job has anyone ever said to you "sounds like someone has a case of the mondays?"

      Lawrence: No man……..NO Man! I think you'd get your ass kicked for saying somethin like that!

      That guy is awesome!

    • laxcat36

      "Hey peter!! Channel 9!! The breast exam is on again!"

    • KyleGamgee

      Okay, honestly? My wife's OB-GYN is totally this character from Office Space.

      And yeah, he's way cool.

  • Chris

    May I axe for your number?

  • http://www.gfys.org/ truth teller

    Real men like women with Curves ,skinny chics/gap/anorexia is for school nerds.

    • CapnMFingPlanet

      If your username is referring to your comments, those are called opinions usually. in this case your opinion is wrong. "Real Men" can like women of any body size. Good for you if you prefer curvy women, not everyone has to.

    • LuvH8fulChix

      Real men like Betty White.

    • jokes

      Your name makes me question your credibility

    • Byron

      agree 100%

  • bigdeal

    it was good! theyre never as good as the books but this is the closest one ever.

  • J.D.

    Just saw it! Them 19 years later was hilarious. Besides that though, the actions scenes were badass. Well done, good finale

    • CapnMFingPlanet

      Draco lmfao man it cracked me up seeing him aged.

      • J.D.

        I know man. He looked like the yellow guy from Sin City. Super rape-y

    • Event Horizon

      It was pretty wicked.

  • Simon

    #3 – Insert Inception-related joke here

    • SkyVader


    • chiver

      tired and over used. you fail

      • LuvH8fulChix

        The word "fail" is tired and overused.

    • really?


      • Just Sayin'

        That sir would be the correct answer!

  • cory

    HP7.5 was pretty good. a little short and I was disapointed how they ended a few arcs (compared to the books). It seemed right at two hrs so there was plenty of time. Over all though, a very worthy way to end a series. Like it or not, it is history in the making and opens the doors for other great projects now that there is a void in WB's stable. Along with Game of Thrones and the LoTR movies (hobbit included) it has shown that creative products can be successful. Awesome GIF is awesome btw

    • Harry

      "it has shown that creative products can be successful"

      Well, to me it has shown that works that immensely profitable in book form, can be made into immensely profitable movies.

      There is only tried and tested works coming out of Hollywood these days, it would be nice to see some actual creative, ORIGINAL work….

  • Grey Warden

    #8 – WTF!

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