Daily Morning Awesomeness (20 Photos)

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  • hueyrocks

    #8 – "This week on 'Man vs. Food'"

    • umpalumpa

      Heart attack 1 men 0

    • downfall616

      challenge accepted.

    • http://www.gfys.org/ youtube

      Epic Meal Time.

      • Billy

        What is that $300 worth of bacon.

    • NW_Islander

      "This morning, In my Kitchen"

    • bizron

      "Bring me all the bacon and eggs you have. Hold on i don't think you understood what i said, ALL the bacon and eggs you have"

    • Darkside

      YES LAWD!!!!
      -faints-

  • Simon

    #15 Reminded me of Trainspotting… Freaky

  • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

    Goooood Mooooorning <3Bob<3 and <3Chivettes<3! Oh, hi Chivers too.
    WOOOHOOO! I won a Miss contest!!
    I'm now officially: Miss Understood 2011!

    Hugs,
    Paula
    – "Paula is to Chivettes as DAR man is to awesome…"
    — LG – twitpic.com/5q3g21

    • I HAT PAULA!

      I WILL RAPE YOU!

      • I HAT PAULA

        yes and I meant hat too, she's not worth the full word.

      • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

        I'd lov that! By 'hat' you simply mean you want me on top, right?
        Be sur to bring some barb wire and sharp sticks dear.

        Hugs,
        Paula
        – the on you lov to hat

        • I HAT PAULA

          Rusty barbed wire? and KY intense?

    • LaLakers2408

      ur pathetic…get a life

    • BGP

      Paula, when are you going to submit to sexy Chivers. i dare you. This could be fuuuuuunnnnnn!!!!

      • Guest

        Seconded!

    • BAMFinater

      Way to go LG, you gave Paula more fuel.
      Don't feed the trolls!!

    • http://www.facebook.com/jonathan.prack Jonathan Prack

      You are really milking that LG quote huh

      • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

        Of course! Gonna use that for a year or till she (<3) makes another one.

        Hugs,
        Paula
        – milking the good quotes

  • Simon

    ^ Paula sucks..

    • Paula's BF

      Like yo momma

    • http://www.gfys.org/ thehonestone

      Like a vacuum.

  • Chase

    We need to find this girl in #13

    • http://www.gfys.org/ truth teller

      and then what ? You will still be alone. There is better fap material on the internet which is also easier to find loser.

      • LuvH8fulChix

        And truth teller's heart grew Three sizes that day…

      • BelowHeavens

        True story bro…

        but because this is The Chive we must find her. It's the law in these parts of the internets

        • PilotDad

          This was submitted to reddit but the OP removed it…probably because of all the responses about how hot she is. And maybe because of the 'shopping being done. Maybe the kids' parents complained, I don't know… Here is an example: http://i.imgur.com/QNQkW.jpg

      • xdb

        must be your daughter

      • Chase

        Who's this Fucking Guy?

  • http://www.facebook.com/a.d.lahey Andrew Lahey

    I want #8 right now! and all the stomach pain that comes with it…

    • matt

      Go to Cardiology. Go directly to Cardiology, do not pass 40, do not collect old age.

  • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

    BTW!! This is the FIRST TIME EVER that DMA actually contains the 20 photos it's supposed to contain (we're not counting the 2 GIFs of course). Wow… the planets must really be aligned well today…

    Hugs,
    Paula
    – the one you love to hate

    • Elvis1721

      Paula,

      Go eat a bag of dicks.

      • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

        I just ate a pile! Cut them lengthwise into thin slices and baked them. See #8.

        Hugs,
        Paula
        – the one you love to hate

  • https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1064188593 Josh Gorter

    #6 brb going to Jupiter.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1281144676 Alec Ansusinha

    #9 Mind = BLOWN

    • Gigeaky

      Delicious

      • Sam

        stupidly, it's actually grape and vanilla flavored.

    • Dr_StrangePants

      Is the skin made out of wax?
      Or is it edible?

  • http://bella-d.tumblr.com Bella

    #3 couldn't be any more true.
    I'm sleeping in the basement now because I'm kind and am letting my parents use the fan I bought today before the A/C broke. Truth is, I'm more comfortable down here than that are up there.

    • sarcasm

      cool story bro

    • Blumpkin

      We already knew you were in your parents basement

      • http://bella-d.tumblr.com Bella

        Well, I'm a 17 year old girl, so…

        • Gutterville

          Well then, hello
          Can I join you in the basement
          PS im 17 so no pedobear here!!!!!

          • http://bella-d.tumblr.com Bella

            Sure thing. There are two twin beds in the room I'm in. Bring a movie.

          • http://bella-d.tumblr.com Bella

            Oh, and bring some blankets for making a fort. I'll provide snacks.

    • equalizermax

      They should also add: Taking a shower during Summer & Winter

  • umpalumpa

    #3 # 3

    So ture! I sleep way better in the cold!

    • snowboardstud911

      Everything is better in winter. I miss it. 😦

      • sdafg

        especially the beaches sprinkled with


        … oh wait

        • hMMMM

          there are still plenty of warm beaches you can fly to within a couple hours during the winter. Not so the case in the summer time…

    • Gutterville

      But the only downside is that I can't get out of the bed becuase its so warm in winter

      • http://bella-d.tumblr.com Bella

        True dat.

        Minnesota is too cold in winter, and it's so hot in summer.

  • http://www.facebook.com/mdinh013 Minh Dinh

    #10 shoulda seen it coming

    • http://www.gfys.org/ phuk yu

      Thats right nerds ,this is how you find out who your father is.

    • BelowHeavens

      To true. If you grow up a whiny bitch then your kid must be one to

    • Darth Vader

      Earlier: "I am 100% sure that's not my baby! I don't make Jedi babies Maury!

  • bbqboobs

    #5 Stop with this, planking needs to be banned.

    • Catbra

      She died for the cause of planking

    • Mokuseitora

      it has.. geat ready for the great "owling" which is what they say is next…. going to be some weird pics. Wonder of they will try "batting" (hanging from their toes)

    • kane

      But . . . Fry

  • Galletto3

    #6 If Jupiter was made of bacon we sure as hell wouldn't have cut funding for NASA

    • jpp407

      One small step for man, One giant waistline for mankind.

    • jimmy

      because we're fat

  • http://www.facebook.com/codealpha Terry Burke

    #18, awesome drawing dude. and Paula is the best troll ever!

    • http://www.gfys.org/ duke

      Puhhhlls ,she/he aint even clever ,most of her/his jokes are repetitive and rather childish.

      • http://www.facebook.com/codealpha Terry Burke

        but yet people say something like "Paula sucks" before Paula even comments on a post. and Paula always gets people to respond to comments. so Paula is a very good troll and hilarious

        • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

          The "Paula sucks" etc. before I even post is my Batman call signal lighting up the sky… They want me…. they NEED me… THEY'RE ADDICTED!

          Hugs,
          Paula
          – "Paula is to Chivettes as DAR man is to awesome…"
          — LG – twitpic.com/5q3g21
          Damn right I'm gonna milk that quote dry!

          • http://www.facebook.com/codealpha Terry Burke

            they love to hate you

            • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

              Exactly! Why didn't I think of that.
              Hey, that might work well as my signature, gonna try that out sometime.

              Hugs,
              Paula
              – the one you love to hate

      • slut

        agree. she tries way too hard.

        • http://www.facebook.com/codealpha Terry Burke

          dude, most people that comment on this site try to hard. or they say totally un-original things like "MOAR", "first", "like a boss" and "not a single fuck was given".

    • equalizermax

      You should know that you can access the Internet in your laptop

      • http://www.facebook.com/codealpha Terry Burke

        Really!? I had NOOOoo idea!

  • news

    #1 second recorded planking fatality

    • Fox News

      This is legit.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=514615429 Pat Overton

      "Spiking"? "Poling"? Anything would be better.B)

  • Yates

    Damn it Chive. Stop posting the planking pictures. All you're doing is encouraging these Gene-pool rejects.

    • Mokuseitora

      Sorry, what are you doing on the Chive then?

  • https://www.facebook.com/CUtigers530 Matthew Rose

    #17 this was so cool to do as a kid. once i figured out how my mom kept yelling at me to clean the walls of footprints

    • http://www.gfys.org/ toby

      Scary

    • BeccaB86

      If you climb up above the door outside the room someone playing hide & seek is counting to 50 in, they'll run right by every time & you can climb back down to safety… until they catch on and look up when they come out. So much fun.

    • Chris_Mason

      My son is five, broke his leg in the spring(jumping on bed), and now has started doing this.

    • dfgdfs

      this pic is creepy as fuck though, lol, looks like a ghost in a horror movie up there

  • xXbeermonkeyXx

    #1 let me guess… after planking and owling, is this darting?
    #21 the ever-twirling gymnast needs to become a meme fast

  • Mmm_Ciao

    I don't know, I find the heat in the day time to be much worse than the heat at night. It gets cooler at night, plus I sleep naked too so I don't have pesky clothes keeping me hot at night. #3

    • DrROBOTO

      not sure if woman and hot or daddy issues and desperately needs attention…

      • Mmm_Ciao

        If I desperately needed attention I would be one of the numerous girls on the chive who submit mostly naked photographs to the chive to be posted for the world to see and/or have half naked avatars of them showing off their boobs or ass.

    • dfgdfs

      if ur naked and it's hot, ur still hot, if ur cold you can always layer up, can later down past ur skin ya know.

  • Z_b

    #21 Lmao

    • Raaandy

      samus

  • christopher

    #16 brilliant…until you wake up with a big belt mark on your forehead

    • ensergio

      It doesn't matter.

    • Mokuseitora

      Ya have to admit its a better idea than waking up with the neck pain from falling over all the time.

      • Dr_StrangePants

        and that's exactly why I can't sleep siting up, even with sleeping pills.
        I don't care if i get a few stares my next flight.

    • absolutcarcrazy

      So…….THATS how autoerotic affixation works?

    • Poonchinello

      It may drastically reduce your chances of survival if the plane should land a bit hard.

    • snocone90

      sacrifices my friend… sacrifices….

  • The Truth

    I just wanted to say that CHIVE ON is probably the douchiest, stupidest catchphrase ever. Thank you.

    • steve

      spice off…er wait

    • http://www.gfys.org/ urDad

      +100000000 ,also wearing a tshirt with a friggin website logo/name on it is just plain retarded !

      • MiketheDyke

        At least I can wear a t-shirt.

      • Robert Plant

        100% agree.

    • Bingo!

      Actually, to tell you "The Truth" the phrase is Chive Up douchehead.

    • BelowHeavens

      It's not The Chive's fault that you woke up with a sore ass, so don't take it out on us. So Chive On

    • BAMFinater

      And yet, you keep coming here and giving them page views, ad dollars so they can keep posting. Way to go.

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=514615429 Pat Overton

        Win B)

    • the elusive

      so, do you think 'fuck off' is a better catch phrase?

      • DrROBOTO

        I say "chive > work" is better

  • saucypants

    #13 lol kid on the far left is doing the shocker.

    • dklemme

      That is what I thought we were first looking at. Damn kids.

  • sarcasm

    #2 very random… I dont get it, am I missing some new meme?

    • caleb

      You're missing the point all right. Raptor, babysitting a child, you can't explain that.

    • HUH?

      pedobear wont mess with any kid that has a v-raptor as a babysitter.

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