Daily Afternoon Randomness (49 Photos)

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  • dr. emory

    #16, #17

    Hey! My wife is 33 with kids too! She… doesn't look like that 😦

    • Lowrent75

      Really exceptional. Nice work dear!

    • Ugly Monkey

      One of the hottest 33 year old MILF i've seen!

    • asdasd

      Respect has too frew letters to express your awesomness m'lady.
      If you it helps you look like this, keep having children!!

      • DrROBOTO

        sorry?

    • Curt

      Bring back the weekend MILF post.

      • Anacott Steel

        YEA NO DOUBT!

      • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

        Yeah, bring back MILF Sunday!

        Hugs,
        Paula
        – the one you love to hate

        • Sigh

          Now that there's a chance that you might be LG, I can't reply as rudely to this comment as I normally would.

          • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

            By reacting the way you do, you might be missing the whole point.

            Hugs,
            Paula
            – the one you love to hate

    • Hand of Fate

      Nice #16 and #17. You're a woman after my wife's own heart! 31 and 3 kids and still modeling too.

      If only more women followed your examples.

      • blah

        I still say it's a dude 😀

    • Tom

      Get a new wife son.

    • Waylon

      My wife is 33 with no kids and doesn't look like that 😦

    • http://mybadparent.com/ Reality

      Guess if I want my wife to look like that, I need to make even more money and spend more time away from my family to pay for daycare while my wife can spend all day at the gym…and then post pictures of herself online. Get real.

      • buba

        Or you can work less so that you spend less on food.

        • Ryan

          Nice pussy tattoo……very classy.

    • dr. emory's wife

      Perhaps if you didn't look like #46 I'd feel compelled to take better care of myself.

      -Your Wife.

  • mark

    #26

    The Chive is strong with this one

    • Categorical

      Fuck yeah! Cat time bitches. I knew the Chive would come through.

    • asdasd

      Epic, although obvious, name!!!
      I hope it has good genes and that it's not retarted…

      • William

        It's a cat, they're all retarded.

    • HAHSO

      SHOULD HAVE NAMED HIM "KOREAN DELICACY"

      • Kim Jong Il

        We eat dog, not cat you pussy. What is your address so I can send a nuke to your backyard?

        • HAHSO

          YOU EAT THE DOG BUT NOT THE PUSSY, I GOT NEWS FOR YOU.

    • CapnMFingPlanet

      quick someone shop it with an axe and dead bodies around him!

    • theonehodge

      You have to get him a little viking hat!

    • Kodos

      well done, Chive

  • endlesssummerkid

    #13 OMG…remember pumps!

    • Rocks Off

      I thought singers were supposed to stuff with socks, not chapstick.

      • Kevin Love

        HAHAHAHAAHAHHHHHHAAAAAAAAA good 1

    • HUH?

      DUDE!!! I can totally see his nipples!!!

    • Waylon

      Poor guy

  • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

    This message is for Peter F., you know who you are! I also know you're banging your head against the wall right meow!
    My dear colleague Peter and I were talking about the Chive the other day and I subtly started about 'this Paula character'. I then told him _I_ was Paula on the Chive.
    He refused to believe me ("Impossible!") so we made a bet; if I'd write him a (this) personal message in todays DAR he'll give me 75 bucks tomorrow. If not, I'd of course lose that amount to him.
    Soooo obviously Peter, YOU NOW OWE ME 75 bucks!! HA! Told ya!!
    I'll pay for the movie friday to ease your pain dear! You can stop banging your head against the wall meow.

    Hugs,
    Paula
    – "Paula is to Chivettes as DAR man is to awesome…"
    — LG – twitpic.com/5q3g21

    • hMMMM

      Dear Peter F. – I will gladly pay you not only the $75 bucks to cover your loss, but pay you an additional $75 to send me information/pictures of this guy!

      Paula…you are about to get it, bitch!!!

      • Peter F

        Well, here is a photo she sent me (no face though) http://bit.ly/qQ35VW
        Don't know how to make a hyperlink of it but this should work.

        • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

          Nice one, but not from the real Peter.

          Hugs,
          Paula
          – the one up 75 bucks

    • BOCO Kid

      Peter F,
      Please do us a favor and duct tape Paula to her chair (hands included) and play horrible videos repeatedly on her computer while she can't do anything about it. Then give her the $75 since you did lose.
      Thanks
      ALL THE OTHER CHIVERS!

    • NebraskaGuy

      Hmmm something tells me 'Paula' is about to be unmasked???

    • Peter F

      Wow… didn't see that coming. I'm screwed. You never cease to amaze me.
      Will live up to my end of the deal of course. See you tomorrow.

      Puzzled stare,
      Peter

      • Johnny Two Toes

        Paula is Peter

        • oscar l

          Finkle is Eignhorn!

      • Whatevs

        Paula is Barack Obama

        • hMMMM

          imagine…so THIS is what you've been doing all this time

      • Whatevs

        Paula is Snookie

      • Whatevs

        Paula is Justin Bieber

      • Whatevs

        Paula is Agent Smith

      • Whatevs

        Paula is a paradox

      • Whatevs

        Paula is

        • Tate

          The Little Tortilla Boy.

          • Whatevs

            Pablo Francisco WIN

            • Whatevs

              Fuck yeah, baby pigeons.

              • Harry Balzack

                Fuck Yeah, Green Apples.

                • PFrancisco

                  It's gonna happen!

                  • https://www.facebook.com/Archer424 Marc Herzog

                    Enrico Polazzo!

        • fgg

          shes obviously a freaky monkey creature thing, i don't see what the big mystery is here..

      • Whatevs

        Paula is Osama Bin Laden

      • Whatevs

        Paula is a coworker of one Peter F

      • Whatevs

        Paula is like God, but real

      • Whatevs

        Paula is Waldo

      • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

        I'm so enjoying this right meow 🙂

        Hug though!
        Paula
        – the one you love to read even if it costs ya!

        • walkingtheriver

          Ya know, I just paid Peter 75 bucks to photograph you in your sleep. Oh yes, the world WILL be mine!

          Okay not the world, the Chive…

        • Whatevs

          I am now starting to seriously suspect that Paula is, in fact, LG as some have speculated.

          • CapnMFingPlanet

            hot and an evil master mind?

          • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

            What, that cute, witty, gorgeous, intelligent, subtle, classy woman? Me? Noooo…… ❤

            Hugs,
            Paula
            – the one up 75 bucks

            • Whatevs

              You're right, from what I've seen LG is more modest than that, about herself. Then I stick to my original thought you are either Mac or Barack Obama.

              • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

                But then again… Peter thought it was impossible I was Paula too… Would SO have loved to see his face when he read it…would have been totally worth the 75 bucks.

                Hugs,
                Paula
                – the one up 75 bucks

                • Whatevs

                  Not sure if subtle hints or attempt to mislead.

                  • the rock

                    Paula is Bernie Mac

    • Jeremy

      I'm sorry, I thought you said meow.

      • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

        Come play later kitty, I just ate already.

        Hugs,
        Paula
        – the one up 75 bucks

    • Seldi84

      Paula can just go back to his troll cave and wait till Sauron needs him.

      • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

        Btw Chicago huh? Doable… doable…

        Hugs,
        Paula
        One Chive to rule them all,
        one DAR to find them.
        One FLBP to bring them all,
        and in Paulas basement bind them

    • Spt

      Paulaception

    • hug me paula!

      Paula is awesome!

    • Narf

      I am the walrus.

    • Fred

      Paula is Anders Behring Breivik

    • colin

      40 replies i'll get the popcorn

  • SweetAwesomeness

    #6 serious risk of a stroke!!! you better take that top off immediately and resubmit the same pic!!!!

    • Verbal_Kint

      If she does, there's a serious risk of you strokin' it….

      • SweetAwesomeness

        challenge accepted!

    • KyleGamgee

      Sweaty chest is sweaty.

    • Eric

      Mountain Dew anyone?

      • Chesty Laroo

        That is one smart taxi driver.

    • R2G Fan

      I would like to personally thank the taxi driver for the "broken a/c" and to this lovely Chivette for being so kind as to share her plight.

    • That guy

      Thanks Local Cabbie!!! You're the man!

  • sheoncebelieved

    #36 15 will get you 20….or longer in California

    • thepikeypio

      20 what?

      • sheoncebelieved

        years in Prison dufus.

        • thepikeypio

          i could be wrong which in that case your obviously right, but that girls at least 20

          • its_forge

            Yup, note the lack of babyfat around the collarbones and fingers

            • LukasS

              ^ Pedobear's lawyer

              • thepikeypio

                Look all im saying is that if girls under the age of 18 start looking like this, then the only thing im trusting from here on out is a valid birth certificate.

                • SteelCityChivette

                  Make sure to ask for the "long form version". Otherwise, not legit. 😉

                  • thepikeypio

                    very true, good lookin out. ha

                  • gocubsgo!

                    I want to see your long form version…Nice pic there Steel City. MOAR?

                    • MMBMBM

                      go get a girlfirend/laid. loser.

                    • SteelCityChivette

                      MMB, quasi-chivalry definitely appreciated but unnecessary. A little (well-played) flattery never hurt anyone.

                      Cubs, thanks for the compliment. Perhaps you have seen moar (but lets keep that a mystery) and perhaps you will see moar again (and lets keep that a surprise)

    • M J

      I'll take that deal

      • KKKKDKDK

        you're an idiot.

    • SeaBassEX

      Only if you get caught

    • ROK247

      looks kinda like the ceasars palace front desk chick in the hangover. cute as hell.

      • HAHSO

        DID "CEASAR" REALLY LIVE IN THAT PALACE

        • ROK247

          is this hotel pager-friendly?

      • aleXTC

        Nathalie Fay

    • DirtyArmySpecialist

      where in cali are you from?

    • sweet baby jesus

      pedobear and i are about to make a sexy sangwhich with this broad!

    • Ateka

      Hot and legal, move along.

    • Legal

      Shes def over 18, and if not well then FUCKKK

  • cubs suck, i know

    #27

    the only thing better than the chive coming to Chicago would be if they came to the bar a block from my house. This is probably the best news I've had this summer (yes, it's been a shit summer)

    • But the sox suck too

      I could not agree more. Can't wait to go…

      • DrROBOTO

        see you in chi-town…best city in the U.S but…Go colts!

        • TheBoris

          Not the best city, but yes, Go Colts! You get a B-

    • Hich

      August 8?! My wife and I are planning a trip to Chicago soon… I wonder if there's any way we could make it…

      • Simon

        Umm that would be August 4

    • theend81

      I have to say NYC is the greatest city in the world… but Chi town is a sweet shit place to party! My buddy is having his bachelor party that weekend … EPIC WIN!

  • JAPIV

    #37 You will be missed.

    • http://www.facebook.com/Irishdork Kevin O'Connell

      Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

    • RGH

      Death of books indeed. My favorite bookstore is gone. Shame.

  • sheoncebelieved

    #46 answer: me

    • ilovethechive

      Good Answer! Need pics for proof!

      • sheoncebelieved

        find your own porn online perv.

        • ilovethechive

          Damn, why you so angry?

          • Whatevs

            Because he is a dude living in the avatar of a chick which many dudes on the Chive probably fap to, so essentially they are fapping to a dude. Wouldn't that make you angry?

            • sheoncebelieved

              By your logic everybody else should be angry….not me, is this why you're angry?

              • CapnMFingPlanet

                So you dont deny the dude part? 😀

              • Justin Bieber

                I am sure they are angry too, but wouldn't you be mad if you knew that dudes were fapping to you? I know I am.

    • Major Rocker

      I need to get me that shirt!

  • pablo_v

    #34
    Perfect

    • josh

      yep…..everyone needs a girl with repressed daddy issues

      • menace

        and a dirty bong

        • its_forge

          Mebbe she's smoking through coffee?

    • aleXTC

      Clean your bong!! Nasty

      • UPSgrrrL88

        THANK YOU!! Can't enjoy a good smoke from a dirty bong.

        • thepikeypio

          Come on now, like you guys clean your bong after every smoke or something? Show me a person with a spotless bong or pipe, and ill show you a person who smokes very little or probably doesn't smoke at all.

          • Smokeweedeveryday

            Maybe I don't bust out the Formula 420 after every smoke, but I at least will change the fucking water. That shit is disgusting.

            • thepikeypio

              touche, but its prob clean water just resin build up man. its all good savor the flavor, who cares if that's how she smokes it then whatever to each there own.

              • Smokeweedeveryday

                Yeah…to each their own.

    • dan

      thats alsome gave me an idea for my dad thanks

  • Pete Mitchell

    #36 MOAR

    • ilovethechive

      #35 – #36…I like what you did there Chive

    • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

      Google Norma Stitz.

      Hugs,
      Paula
      – the one you love to hate

      • gulfcoast

        again or still?? old, lame yep moving on.

    • HAHSO

      IT'S "MINI MOUSE"

      • BigD

        Nothing mini about those. To quote Benny Hill: "Not too many of those to the pound"

  • sheoncebelieved

    #2 do you think you could stick your head in that vag?

    • thepikeypio

      if so that would put an entirely new meaning to – getting head-

    • That Guy

      it's worth a try

    • Dr_StrangePants

      so then instead of #3
      it would be a drowning during a freak pearl diving accident

    • Cocrates

      that's a huge bitch!

      • gocubsgo!

        LOL > Gotta say that line in your best Sandler voice!

    • TallFan

      Anybody know who the tall girl is? Is it a hoax?

    • Spt

      Now i could search the internets and find that video i saw… but i am too bored.

    • http://echogeo.wordpress.com/ echogeo

      Yeah, and wiggle my ears.

    • Master_Rahl

      Challenge Accepted

  • http://ilovethechive.wordpress.com ilovethechive

    #41….then you fertilized hers?

    • Dan

      She's a keeper!

    • its_forge

      Dressed like that I wouldn't care if I was only getting a Fluffernutter and a glass of apple juice.

      • Apollo

        I'd wager he'd already gotten a Fluffernutter.

    • bollyver

      But, can she fry bacon with her shirt off?

    • Tmack28

      fried or fertilized?!

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000214752111 Armando Navarro

    #49 :O my….

  • Ha.Ha.

    #17 – she looks like Jaime Lannister!?!?

    • Ispano

      Hah, I wasn't the only one!

    • Zooropa

      Probably the funniest comment I've ever read on here.

    • ROK247

      keep it in the family.

    • Topper

      Oh god. It IS Jaime Lannister….

    • TCUchiver

      would be nice to see this one submit in yoga pants as well.

  • thepikeypio

    #34 this is just awesome

    • Billy

      Hi daughter. Do your fucking laundry!

      • thepikeypio

        yeah cause it's not like her clothes are in a laundry basket or anything, so obviously its a big fucking mess?…

  • http://www.facebook.com/broadiefoot Eric Broadfoot

    #13 Is that a baby carrot or are you just happy to see me?

    • Urban

      LOL. This takes me back to the Vienna Sausage days.

    • arTee

      Pump the Reeboks, maybe it will inflate!!!!

    • northerner

      Gag. Double Gag. Did NOT need to see that…

  • early

    Early DAR is early!!!

  • http://twitter.com/danlundberg1 @danlundberg1

    #49 every day DAR's last pic seems to get better and better

    • http://www.facebook.com/codealpha Terry Burke

      rosie jones. i highly recommend a google search (NSFW)

      • ilovethechive

        Thank you kind sir and yes….very google worthy

      • jdb

        I appreciate that.

  • hater

    #41. get her a show on the food network.

    • its_forge

      Give her Rachel Ray's show, so tired of that nasally skankzilla

  • thepikeypio

    #3 and #33 had to be on the same shit which apparently is pixie dust..

    • llano2

      Car A hit a bear sending it flying into Car B.

      • thepikeypio

        a tank car? how fast were they going to send a bear flying?

      • Calder27

        Little More screwed up than that… Car A hit a bear into oncoming traffic and went THROUGH Car B (SUV), and hit Car C behind Car B… Baby Black Bear from what I remember seeing in the news

        • Dr_StrangePants

          "The bear's body hit the 25-year-old driver and a 40-year-old man sitting behind her and then shot out of the back window. —The bear also died.—"

          because otherwise this immortal, flying bear would be unstoppable and terrifying.

  • Rahm Emanuel

    #13 Seriously he has Reebok Pumps…he is cool

    • http://twitter.com/valorikx221 @valorikx221

      I still have my pumps (same as those) in the attic hah.
      Got them in 6th grade

  • Rick

    #3 Palin strikes again!

    • ........

      you know Alaska isn't in Canada right?

      • Anon

        she is throwing bears at us from up above… Alaska is clearly higher up then the rest of Canada… provides her ample opportunities to throw bears down at us.

    • Kodos

      wat?

    • hMMMM

      your jokes are unbearable.

  • SweetAwesomeness

    #41 she could of cooked me roasted coffe grounds and i would have been happy!

  • Trevor

    #13 Vienna Sausage Ad

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