Russian mail order brides add theCHIVE to cart (29 Photos)

We all have our hobbies. Some people like to collect stamps. I prefer to spend my free time drinking bourbon and fantasy shopping for Ukrainian mail order brides. I've linked to some of my favorites in the past. One site in particular has noticed.

Browsing has turned to buying for a few Chivers (I'm told) and with some of the talent that's out there, I don't really blame them. Russian women are spectacular.

  • Kaars

    See, Chive, now THAT's advertising we can deal with.

    • Facts Soup

      See? This proves women are objects and these women will do whatever they can to be sold! I'm glad the Chive is letting us exploit them!

  • Comrade

    In #23 the sand storm was created right after she asked the guy to marry her.

    • @ADavis41

      Thought it was a Bulgarian qeef….

    • Elbie

      I wanna throw dirt ather too : /

    • JAFitC

      Her name is Sandy.

  • CarTuned

    I'll take one of each

    • Spoiler

      Spoiler alert: they are all either 1. golddiggers who will leave you the second they get their citizenship or 2. spies

  • Zoey

    Is Paula's true identity a Russian bride??

    • jimmy

      If by "bride" you mean "polar bear", yes.

      • max

        i thought she was a grizzly, the one who attacked the kids in Alaska

        • ROK247

          too soon

    • Fasteddy14

      You are assuming Paula isn't really Paul…and that anybody would want to marry it…

    • moeshere Foxdale

      LOL Zoey tooo funny girl LOL

  • Eddie

    Can #8 be overnighted?

    • CaptainInsano

      might be the best that any pair of legs has ever looked

      • Kevin Love

        who is thumbing this down? fuckin wankers, shes gorgeous!

        • truth

          people who think Chivettes are better looking than her. wankers indeed!!!

    • ROK247

      the sooner she gets here, the sooner she can take half your shit and be gone. but this one might be worth it…

    • Kevin Love

      the legs on that girl!

    • Awesome

      Yes they can be overnighted. Just don't forget to poke air holes in the crate. Trust me…

  • Loccus

    Wow, #1 and #12 are gorgeous! How much credit is left on my visa? 🙂

  • Jabroni

    does this mean chivers get a discount?

    • saltygary

      Enter "TheChive" into the Promo Code Box to receive free borscht with your purchase.

      • phuk yu

        I always knew that the only way the Chivers can get women is by Buying them. Epic Losers.

        • Lex

          You replied. That makes you a Chiver, I think?

          • ufailinlife

            Yeah coz u cant say sumthin on a website without being a lame ass self titled member of it.

            • NotAChiver

              Your insult would have more sting if your grammar weren't so poor.

    • theatreides

      My thoughts exactly.

  • Will Harding

    Any chance of a buy one get one free?

    • duke

      Ur Mom is free.

  • R2G Fan


    Anything ever happens to my wife, I'm getting one of these…maybe a matching set (there isn't a limit is there?)

    • Birdhaus32

      Definitely the best one of the group

    • nope

      Something's gonna happen to you, when you get home "honey"

  • theonehodge


    Please don't say the kid comes with…

    • disturbed

      #14 I support single mothers

      • Chivacy Please

        So do I, but giving them singles in their panties is different than actually bringing them home.

    • Single Dad

      Really? Hot, beautiful woman…but her kid is the deal-breaker? Just as well you don't have the cash/inclination/whatever your excuse would be.

    • hMMMM

      She's just trying to show off her maternal instincts, just in case WE have children who need to be watched

    • John Tomlinson

      those brides are 50% off. Kind of like a scratch and dent sale.

  • meh

    #29, Id put money that 75% of them have no clue what that sign says.

    • b-ry

      "here…take a picture in front of this sign. we'll get our own thread on theChive and maybe some of the viewers will buy one of us."

      • b-ry

        that's how i got here. because of my sugar-daddy. :*

    • ladyfrompic

      We no care, we take picture, mabe meet rich man. No hafta read, just look good.

    • Senor Cameltoe

      I'd disagree. I bet most of them speak decent English and a few of them speak it better than most Americans. The rest of the world is much more multi-lingual than we are in the States.

  • LarsfromNorway

    #20 I like that one

    • Cedric Schlosser

      Me too. Think she looks a bit like Summer Glau..

      • Its-a me, Mario

        look again.

        • Martin

          Mila Kunis? 😉

          • jeff

            Anna Paquin?

  • Yuppp

    #3 WOW! But it's all good I already got me a sexy Ukrainian girl 🙂 With FLBP I might add!

  • EdWood

    Gosh, so many dark haired beauties.
    Who knew.

    • Kodos

      That Tartar blood really comes through, huh?

    • Jack Mehoff

      That one will get you twenty years…she looks about twelve.

  • Demon_Cleaner

    #13 and #28 Yes please!

    • Chazz_B

      yes all the way

  • truth

    let me guess….Chivettes are hotter than these women too right?

    • iSexyDude

      Of course.

      • truth

        you need to get out more and see real women in person. you know…talk to them in a social setting. stop relying on your computer screen or the Chive.

        • iSexyDude

          Chivettes are real women! And i would meet them anytime.

          • truth

            all women are real women. and the problem with real women…is they don't want to meet you.

            or maybe that's YOUR problem. yea…that's it.

        • guest

          You seem to spend more time staring at women on this website than anyone else truth. Maybe you should take your own advice.

          • truth

            nah…only during work hours. 9-5 no weekends.

  • steve

    #19 We Love You Too

  • marc

    You have kid, for sure !

  • @pezatsea

    Off Topic but – Damn you Chive. Everytime I read comments on other sites I want to Thumb them down! Every site needs the up and down thumb.

    • Brewdy

      Hahaha, me too. I was just on CBC news site and I so wanted to thumbs down the comments, and then I realized that I could only do that on te Chive.

  • steve

    you would just end up hearing her nag in a different language

    • max

      yep, and THAT id definitely worst

    • boatdrinks4u2

      I have one and that is all they do…it is brutal sometimes.

  • SushiMutilator

    wow…just wow

    nice legs #7

    • Dirty Dingus

      #28 is so….so….just wow. …..just wow.

  • disturbed

    #2 or #8 Add either to cart. Ships in 3-5 days?

  • yo yo ma

    #19 "The Chive" is Russian for "short lines for toilet paper".

  • kjkj

    before you know it, a senator from your area is assassinated.

    • Fasteddy14

      You promise? I'll chip in.

  • gfhgf


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