Meet the idiot college freshman (26 Photos)

  • thom

    Second year: grows a goatee and wears turtle-necks. Turns into intellectual wanna-be liberal douche bag.

    • douche

      Some how still better then being conservative redneck Pussy.

      • Apollos

        you have a fitting username, douche

      • Ryan


      • quintus

        One thinks that everything he has to say is the shit and everyone should think like he does.

        The other thinks that everything other people say ain't shit if it's not the same as what he thinks.

        Both need to get their collective heads out of their asses.

      • Chim Richels

        Cmon man. I think it's safe to say that the ultra liberal kids you see on college campuses have the market cornered on being pussies.

        • Vlad

          the real pussies are the ones who are so insecure that they have to walk around with a sidearm everywhere. Really, who needs a gun at a movie theater? a pussy, that's who.

          • Mike

            Or someone who lives in a black neighborhood.

            What? You all thought it.

            • Meagan Ann Laninga

              Touche sir, touche…….

          • Steamboat Willie

            "Be polite, be professional, but have a plan to kill everybody you meet." – Gen. James Mattis

          • Rusty_Dreams

            The constitutions of most of our States assert that all power is inherent in the people; that… it is their right and duty to be at all times armed. – Thomas Jefferson

            Americans have the right and advantage of being armed – unlike the citizens of other countries whose governments are afraid to trust the people with arms. – James Madison

            • Vlad

              I don't think they had envisioned impotent douche-bags walking around grocery stores with a Glock 18 with a hair trigger and a 33 round magazine. I think they were talking about a single shot, muzzle loader that took more than 30 seconds to reload. 😀

            • Fish

              Quotes by great men, but over 200 fucking years ago!!! FFS!!!

      • u4ricblues

        I apologize, I accidentally hit the thumbs up instead of the thumbs down button. Just remember to subtract one more from your already negative comment rating.

  • JROC

    #13 sick movie

    • All Saints Day

      HORRIBLE MOVIE!!!!… JROC must be a freshman

      • JROC

        All Saints day must be a cunt. The original movie is great

        • john

          This comment makes me feel like river dancing

      • Wade Wilson

        Fucking terrible movie…Catholic vigilantes…give me a fucking break.

    • upo

      Fuck everyone, i love the Saints

    • Chris

      My favorite one. Couldn't have picked a more deserving movie.

    • commodoresixtyfour

      ha both boondock movies are goofy as hell! Isnt that one guy who is trying to convince us he's a hardass roughneck actually the guy who played POWDER?!

      • Wade Wilson

        IDK but that one scene where he accidentally shoots the cat is hilarious, but the film in general is dumb as shit. My asshole friends made me watch it so many times…I wanted to kill them.

      • Fish

        Yes, he played Powder. Boondocks' Director only WISHES he was Tarantino.

  • thom

    Great new meme.

    • equalizermax

      Brags about new meme…. Copy from other sites….

  • absolutcarcrazy


    • yoselahonda

      Indicative of douchebags in general, not just the freshman.

      • junk

        just Three chords? that sounds like green day.

        • JoJo

          Ahh yes, the frat kid with an acoustic and a fist full of John Mayer cover songs. To all future douches: stop while you're ahead, if you could only see yourself from here. =/

    • MacNCheesePro

      Reminds me of that movie "Role Models" when Paul Rudd describes camps. "There's always one guy with an acoustic guitar that can't quite play it"

      *playing guitar* "Kumbaya…wait a sec kumbaya, my…wait wait.."

    • black27696

      Eh, I can deal with three chords. I hate the 10 person group of his douchebag friends that all hang around him because they've seen it in coming of age movies and block the FUCKING ENTRANCE TO PEARCE HALL EVERY DAY!

  • Jesse

    #14 Not familiar at all…

  • arne


    • Jared

      not clever.

    • Mister H.


  • Choad

    #5 Reminds me of soooo many people I knew in college.

    • Randy Marsh

      I was one of them, although not communications… business administration

      • tcuchiver

        my degree reads B.S. Communication Studies….declared as a sophomore

  • Stone

    #23 sounds like everyone I know

    • beenthere

      Yeah, same here. Any bad grades I got I took responsibility for slacking off. Had a couple awesome teachers, who (for some crazy reason) wouldn't pass you unless you knew the material.

      They should add "Turns in every homework for every class".

  • Dakota

    #1 my 21 year old Orange County boyfriend UGH

    • Anthony

      Lol@US Drinking age…you should move to Canada, where, by 21 booze isn't just becoming discovered. 18 year old drinking age ftw!

      • Necause

        Yeah, welcome to Holland, where we drink at 16 and buy weed in stores.

        • jamiebooks

          haha indeed and we got some legal prostitutes on the side plate 🙂

      • ACobb

        To Bad The only thin your country is good for is Bacon, terrible doctors( So our take your residents money ) and snowboarding…. Congrats on that

    • Martin Prince

      Sounds like time for a new BF

    • Çreep

      show me your tits. please

    • Christian

      I live in Orange County too. That's kind of the status quo around here for the early-twenties set.

    • laxcat36

      Your bf is 21, a freshman, and says things like that? All while you have sweet tits? I can't feel sorry for you, but I know how to make you feel better. I'm in scottsdale btw 😉

      • Dakota

        he's not even in college and we transplanted in florida, lo siento my friend

    • ACobb


  • Blah

    Posts a dumbass meme on The Chive.

    • Tyler Mars

      found that this related a little?

      • Paulie

        Ha ha, Sounds like Blah was going through each one thinkin "Whats wrong with that?"

    • reality

      You win this one Blah.

    • Red

      agreed. this probably exemplifies the average chiver.

  • First Time Caller

    Sometimes I wish I could go back there though….sigh…..easier times

  • wolf

    what's so wrong with being religious at college?

    • awesomesauce

      nothing wrong with being religious at college, there is something wrong with being religious though…

      • quintus

        …because of all the persecution, right?

    • Gloos

      When you get to college, you're an adult, so you probably don't believe in Santa, the Easter Bunny or God. It just makes sense, you know?

      • WillyP

        Yes, Gloos. There really is no difference.

    • Jacob

      Douchebag Steve: Decides to be an atheist, tries to drag everyone else down with him.

      • vlad

        douchebag dave, forces his religion upon others.

        • Jacob

          An atheist can be just as forceful about their views on the world as any religious person, except atheists are worse because of their incessant need to pretend that they are so cool, smart, and forward-thinking for being an atheist. Overly religious people forcing their faith upon you is only annoying if they don't know when to give up. Believe whatever the fuck you want to, just keep it out of everyone else's lives. In the future, maybe you should refrain from posting about religion, Chive.

          • ThatGuy

            The difference being that Atheism is right.

            • Jacob

              Yeah, no one cares.

          • jamiebooks

            the thing is we don''t f*cking wake you up in the morning at 8am to tell you, you should not worry because there's no one that shall judge you.

            • vlad

              I don't wake up at 8 because I like to sleep in..its not like anyone cares

    • reluctant catholic

      Ironically enough
      my college was in one of those smalltowns where if not for the school, the only thing to do in town was go to church. Half my friends my first 2 years were involved one-way-or-another with a christian student group.
      …YES there a fair share of Jesus Freaks who didn't know when to shut-up and would flinch if I blurted "shit" in front of them.
      but 7/8 of them were friendly people at the cafeteria to sit with, play halo and give you rides to the store.

      • 7/8ths?

        7/8ths? Man there really was nothing other to do than school or church groups.

        • PDUBBS

          I think he mean 7/8ths of the Christians he/she knows.

      • 6655321

        Not ironic.

    • Bella

      It's being preachy that's the wrong thing.

      • proud catholic

        preach to someone if they're open to hearing it…just don't force it on the people who aren't…pisses me off when people say all religious people are preachy.

        • vlad

          it pisses me off when preachy people get pissed off about being labeled preachy 😛

          • Jacob

            Way to be the antagonistic one.

    • Turduckenn


      • myeaglescantwin

        you are awesome.

  • Dakota

    #2 #13 #25 also i can't catch a break

  • dorkfish

    ^^^^can you stop this dickhead from posting^^^^

    • Randy Marsh

      With boobs like that, Dakota can post whatever she wants.

    • Ryan Smith

      u mad bro?

  • Everyone

    CHIVE y u no block FAG Philip's IP ????

    • detective

      Mebbe the chive is behind this.

  • Flow

    #18 The worst. Always tryin to impress people by talking about how much time they spend in the library, too.

    • Cate

      Glad you're all GDIs and just assume that all of Greek life is like you see in movies…nice try. I'm actually hurt that the Chivers would talk so much shit.

      I happen to love my sorority and have a whole hell of a lot of sisters who you guys would love…

      • thomasPONIESreeves

        Do not pass GO, go straight to KITCHEN !

  • Justin

    What about one that says "Thinks he's cool" "Joins a Frat"

    • chiver4

      how about one that says " talks shit about fraternities…. never has enough girls with him to get into a party."

      • DoucheMcFuckstain

        'thinks he's popular….pays for friends'

      • jDong

        well I believe your -22 is a strong indication that most chivers are GDIs

    • hmmm

      Justin thinks he's cooler than guys who join fraternities

      Uses the word "Frat"

      • DoucheMcFuckstain

        'has touched a guys dick on multiple occasions……..won't embarrass himself by using the word frat'

        • hallo

          ^hangs out with all ugly girls

      • Bill Clinton

        "its fraternity. you wouldn't call your country a cunt, would you?"

        –guy who was actually way too serious

        • Garfield

          No, but I call my veterinarian a vet.

        • DoucheMcFuckstain

          I call my bathroom the shitter…….what the fuck is your point?

    • Big_Curt

      haha I like this one….not every one in frats or fraternities whatever u wanna call em is a douche but….about 80 percent is a fair estimate

    • Nick Marty

      I've never met a guy who is a diehard fraternity member that I've liked. Must be the over consumption of alcohol, the shitty ass "Frat-house" and the caliber of people they spend their time around. Not to mention "Pledging". I shit you not, I've had so many frat boyz tell me that their pledging was harder than basic training. LOLED

  • JAMon

    hey Philip,


    -The rest of us

    p.s. you're a tool for spamming the chive

  • walkingtheriver

    #16 Haha I don't think he's the only one

    • hmmm

      Isn't that one about "Chivers"?

      • TRON


  • Verbal_Kint

    passes out drunk in girls room…
    next day: yeah, I totally hit that…

    • The_Dood

      That's better than half of these!

      • Verbal_Kint

        Thank you kind Dood.

    • Meagan Ann Laninga

      well played…

  • Capt. Obvious

    #6 Carries all of them to every class.

    • DJo

      Still doesn't know how to spell "Recommended"

  • Hand of Fate

    #1 I kinda of like this meme, lol.

    • bamf


      • tongystunter

        yeah through the computer!

  • ...

    I've seen all of the on Memebase…waaay before they got on TheChive.

    • ...


    • Mike

      cool story, bro

    • -_-

      "Yeah Memebase is way more obscure than the Chive, you've probably never heard of it before"

    • Paulie

      "Goes on theChive….tries to impress mentioning Memebase"

    • KNBfnfnf

      yep, also saw this several days earlier.

    • LFG

      Get the fuck out of here hipster

  • bamf

    #6 buys textbooks….learns how to spell Recommended

    • Graduate

      nothing wrong with once you learn to just loop it by your belt.
      but my entire 1st semester: i wore it underneath my shirt.
      whenever i would sweat i had a distinct V-mark on my shirt…can't beleive how retarded i was

      • HankVatican

        Graduates… Still can't post coherent thoughts in comments.

      • passing through..


  • Edgar Gaspar

    I still carry a damn lanyard..

    • jimbee

      I never lock my keys in my car thanks to my lanyard. Haters gunna hate

      • Namegoeswhere?

        I never lock my keys in my car thanks to not being a moron.

        • Spleenforsoul

          You've clearly never been drunk or high enough while getting either in or out of a vehicle…

    • Spleenforsoul

      Keep calm and lanyard on!

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