Meet the idiot college freshman (26 Photos)

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  • DoucheMcFuckstain

    'brags about how much weed he smokes………..turns into a mute after 1 joint'

  • DoucheMcFuckstain

    'gets tattoo's to make college peers think he's cool………..was swirlied in high school'

  • Phil gets AIDS &Die

    get AIDS and die

  • Crushum

    Smokes weed. Graduates to coke. Drops out of school.

  • DaddyD

    What's really sad … I graduated from college 40 years ago, and nothing has changed!

    Except for Starbucks. The wanna-bees went to the local coffee-house instead … and ordered "espresso." Sad, Just sad.

    • DaddyD

      Damn autocorrect. That was supposed to be "eXpresso."

    • northerner

      Yep, was there did that, then, too. About 41 years ago. How time flies when you ain't lookin'…this culture we've built or allowed built is bad news. Doesn't bode well for this once-great country.

  • Jon

    Why are we shitting on UNH Im from NH not cool.

    • Tex

      Bro, I was thinking the same thing … Chive On from the Granite State.

  • Nick

    Introduced to Chive…Spends semester on computer

  • dr bamman

    takes first math class…. becomes english major.

  • unionjack

    I go to UNH, and everyone – not just freshmen – are like this. It's a shitty school; if you have the means, I highly recommend avoiding it.

    • northerner

      Jon above doesn't seem to agree…

  • Irishstephen

    #14 Pretty much upsets me in every possible way! That guy must be stopped!!

  • Candybabe_66

    Come on now guys, why does it have to be a guy in the meme? I know a LOT of girls that are worse.

    Virgin girl has sex with virgin guy.
    Brags about how good she is because of how fast she got him off.

    Claims she can drink a lot.
    Gets wasted off a shot and a beer.

    Claims she can get any senior she wants.
    Gets turned down by whole senior class.

    "My favorite alcohol is rum."
    Only knows Captain Morgan.

    "I'm so hot, I can get that guy."
    "He doesn't like me, he must be gay."

    • That Guy

      the last one sounds like the chivers' response for everyone who doesn't find the ugly chicks they find attractive hot.

  • Verbal_Kint

    Natty light, on sale…

  • Me!

    What's wrong with that?

    • Ezee

      Chive – I know you guys are from California, but the rest of us might not be as enlightened as you are. Besides, you are including non-Christian religions in that, which of course makes you intolerant towards other people's beliefs. Ruined the post. Go back to posts endorsing violent acts to Glenn Beck, while apologizing for showing a tree being chopped down.

    • Chester

      thought this was one of the best! here's my little take on religion….when we are kids, we believe in santa, the easter bunny, tooth fairy, and jesus. as we get older, we find out none of them are real…but some people are too brainwashed to drop the jesus part. but that's just my opinion….hail satan

      • Haezeus

        Here's my take on religion. There is no scientific basis to show that life can come from non-life, especially at the time when life formed on this planet. Combine that with the fact there has not been enough time yet in the universe to account for the naturalistic evolution of the simplest mechanisms in living organisms, especially intelligent organisms. Therefor, it seems reasonable that some intelligent force exists/existed that had a hand in the creation of life if not total control over the evolution of life. This is just the simplest form of the argument, of course, but it's arguments like this one why brilliant scientists like Francis Collins and Ken Miller still believe in God.

        • ebits21

          And here's my take on your argument.

          There IS scientific basis to assume that life originates from organic molecules and is a natural result of interactions of said organic molecules. Has this been definitively proven? No. Is it a much better theory than assuming that there must be some sentient being controlling the cosmos AND actually gives a shit about us? Yes. Many brilliant scientists believe this also, not that that matters at all.

          And when you claim there hasn't been enough time for evolution to occur, you're wrong. That's it. Just wrong. There has been plenty of time.

          In conclusion: fossils.

          • ebits21

            I wanted to further mention. Many scientists and intelligent people are religious yet still regard evolution as a scientific fact. They are not necessarily at odds unless you interpret the bible completely literally (and by that standard it has, in many regards, been scientifically disproved).

            You can never disprove that the universe was created by something with particular aims, but you can discover what those methods are. Evolution is certainly one of these methods.

            • Haezeus

              The chemicals that would have been needed to create a stable amino acid chain that would lead to the types of proteins that would be able to form together and develop into life were not present in abundance on early Earth. The Miller-Urey experiments were disproved long ago.

              And, no, I'm not "just wrong". There has not been enough time in the universe to account for the statistical improbability of simple mechanics to naturally form, much less complex life. When amino acids link up to form proteins, they must fold in very specific ways. The likelihood that one would form the correct sort of life creating protein is something like 1/10^56 or more (sorry, I don't have the tables right here). The likelihood that they would form over and over and over again in an atmosphere that would, as scientists say, "produce many diverse molecules" rather than just our amino acids is astronomical. It would be like rolling a 7 on a die with 10^56 sides multiple times a second since the beginning of time. So, no, there hasn't been enough time in the universe to explain life.

              I never said evolution didn't happen. I even promoted it in my first post. I'm still skeptical, of course.

              Lastly, the argument that you can never prove/disprove God exists is sophomoric and short-sighted. We may never be able to scientifically test God, but there are many arguments that support an intelligent creator. These arguments are generally elegant, which is why Einstein came to accept the possibility of a creator late in life. Naturalistic theories of the origin of life are not inherently better than those pointing to intelligence, and they are often weaker when discussing the existence of complex life.

  • Emilie

    What's wrong with #25 ?

    This meme is hilarious though

  • Anonymous

    hahaha love it

  • Munk85

    That was pretty bad

  • Austin

    I go to UNH and this describes half the frosh there. Funny shit.

    • northerner

      Seems Jon a ways back disagrees…

  • GodHelpMe

    Most of these are my school (Medaille College), and not just freshmen. Nearly everyone that goes there is a collar-popping prep who thinks the world revolves around them, and every night is a drinking night. Hey I can party with the best of them, but college is more than alcohol. You're actually supposed to learn and stuff.

  • Indeed

    Pledges for frat….Tells everybody about secret hazing

  • marcus

    haha nice, this is even more amusing since im going ro college at the end of the month

  • nojoke420

    Buys "Crew" t-shirt…doesn't know what Crew is

  • james

    Where can I get a blank of this guy?

  • WailingFungus

    “Shows off his new long board. . . Walks everywhere with it in hand.”

    “New back-pack and utilities. . . ‘Could I borrow a pen? And some paper?'”

    “‘Dude, college has the hottest chicks ever’. . . Only dates high school 17 year olds.”

    “‘Radiohead is the best band ever’. . . ‘Who the hell is Thom Yorke?'”

    “At a party; ‘I f-ing love college’. . . In class; ‘Dude college is so boring.'”

    “Studying Descartes. . . ‘Dude OMG that’s so true.”

    “Studying Samuel Beckett (doesn’t understand at all). . . ‘Dude OMG that’s so true.'”

    “Tries to grow facial hair.”

    “Wears sweats and sandals.”

    “‘Is this going to be in the exam?'”

    “Calls grad students, ‘Professor.'”

    “Friend walks into classroom. . . Yells, ‘Hey bro!
    I’m over here!'”

  • Jcop

    Watches Daily Show. Hates everyone on Fox

    • Katie

      I've done that since I was in middle school. Because Daily Show is boss, and Fox News is stupid.

      Note: Most people who don't like Fox News like Fox. There is a difference in programming.

  • Katie

    I'm a freshman this year. Thankfully, only one of these will apply to me… -sneaks keys off a lanyard- Better now? LOVE ME, LOVE ME!

    • Mr.brightside

      Lmao Lmao!!!

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