Daily Morning Awesomeness (20 Photos)

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  • PoonJammer

    #18 I want to lick both of their butts.

    • Married Guy

      That doesn't sound very hygenic. 😦

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=660683938 Erik Regalado

        Gettin' dirty never is.

      • Gabsy

        It's ok, dogs do it all the time. I don't see many people complaining when their dog is licking all over their face.

    • Bill

      It's easy to to distinguish them from each other. One of them has big boobies and the other one is Zooey Deschanel.

    • SWa

      wat

    • Matt

      Maybe I'm crazy but I'd prefer Zoey. Clearly Katy has the better body but Zoey is cuter.

      • Meat Cat

        I prefer Zoey too, much prettier face and I'm not sure bigger boobs equals a better body..

        • http://facebook.com/daaneskjold Chazz_B

          i prefer Katy, she is taller and her body overall is more curvacious, which i lke better 🙂

          • http://facebook.com/daaneskjold Chazz_B

            and yeah fuck russel brand haha

    • AsciiAdam

      Throw in Zooey's sis from bones and you got yourself one hell of a 4 some.

      • Fasteddy14

        Never knew that chick was related…. Gotta checkout bones again…

      • dfgdfs

        i thought the chick from bones was related to the chick from inglourius bastards? or are they all 3 related? i'm confused now.

    • MMZ

      You have a serious problem

    • Wall Master

      NO NO…NO SIR..You cannot lick their butts.

    • http://www.facebook.com/PatrickBlair1 Patrick Blair

      o.O the internet just broke

    • emaN

      I'd prefer both, because I would keep confusing Katy with Zooey. It would be like having two Zooeys!

    • Guest

      You guys are hella making me crack up. Tears rolling down my face.

    • Derp

      I have no idea which one is which but both are hot.

    • That Guy

      The 66 Most Overrated Women of 2011, #66 Zooey Deschanel

      This hipster thing is really starting to annoy me. Look, we like Zooey. We think she’s pretty, has a nice body and all, but ranking her at #44 ahead of people like Megan Fox is just criminal (Askmen). If only her nudie pics had turned out to have been real then at least there’d be something. But an album sounding like Feist if Feist stopped trying isn’t exactly making up for it. Sorry, indie kids.

    • That Guy

      The 66 Most Overrated Women of 2011, # 18 Katy Perry

      Last year Katy could have been ranked higher on this list, but we felt that she was at least trying to live up to all her hype. This year, we just don’t believe she’s doing that as well. That and the fact that her hype has obviously fogged up the minds of many men out there, so badly that a good chunk of them actually think that Katy (ranked #8 by Askmen, #3 by Maxim, and #2 by FHM) is sexier than Bar Refaeli (Ranked #19 by Askmen, #6 by Maxim, and #97 by FHM), a claim about as delusional as her belief that hubby Russell Brand’s movie “Arthur” did Dudley Moore any justice.

      • switch_24

        looks like the guy (assuming he is a guy) who wrote this crap over thought this a little bit too much.. time to give up his man card!

        • whatnow

          It's called resentfulness

  • PoonJammer

    #16 She licked Papa Smurf's butt.

    • Z_b

      i don't think it was his butt

    • Brian

      That's just a before picture of him. She ate him 😦

    • http://twitter.com/ABQLifer @ABQLifer

      She knows how to toss the smurf salad

    • JAMES

      EPIC! Nice one PoonJammer!

    • Interesting

      No one gets the reference apparently, Poon.

    • CapnMFingPlanet

      Papa smurf can I lick yo ass? ya bitch lick that ass.

  • JustinFL

    #18
    I wouldn't kick either out of my bed

    • PoonJammer

      #18 I want to lick their butts.

      • bbqboobs

        Twice?

      • ROK247

        this has been well established sir, thanks for sharing.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1263181685 Ross Kalmbach

      Even if they were eating crackers?

      • PoonJammer

        I want to lick their butts. Even if they were eating crackers.

        • bbqboobs

          What about on Enchilada night?

          • PoonJammer

            Especially if it's enchilada night.

            • pedobear

              Hell yeah dog! Lick that spicy sauce right off of the cute little buttholes!

      • PoonJammer

        #18 I want to lick their butts. Even if they were eating crackers.

        • GK-4

          Quite the persistent one, are you?

    • Bill57

      I would there's more room on the floor!

    • Birdhaus32

      I would do everything in my power to have them both stay in my bed for as long as possible

      • hMMMM

        getting them into bed is the biggest issue. Once in bed, you may utilize multiple tie-down techniques (i.e. cuffs, rope, duct tape, etc.) to keep them there.

  • alate

    #22 almost made me spit my coke on the screen

    • wise guy

      coke causes brain tumors

      • alate

        yeah, it's pretty much crap in a can… but it's hot in here and it tastes good =P

        • Drop Stop Roll

          It definitely causes Diabetes. It's nice to get a cool drink in the summer, and then get your legs cut off!

    • Herro

      if this is from a scene in the new movie, I think we can all agree it won't beat the last movie…

      • The_Dood

        Looks more like action man or whatever the guy in Kickass's name is.

        • NIC_CAGE

          Big Daddy!

    • Mr_Rob

      Thats becouse coke is meant to be snorted and not eated… oh, wait

    • http://www.facebook.com/zac.judkins Zac Judkins

      I'm still laughing. I had to call co-workers over to see this. Maybe it is just the Friday hangover, but this was the funniest thing I have seen all week.

      • will22

        i second that… had to post it on fb for all the chive ignorant people out there.

  • sparky

    If you were drunk, you still did a good job.

    • Indeed

      Perhaps you should continue this trend, because this actually was pretty damn good.

      • jaredallas

        Agreed. It's nice to see a post where I'm not constantly saying "I KNOW my rejected submission was better than this crap!"

        • The_Dood

          Not to mention the rareness of reposts in this thread…

    • gocubsgo!

      Indeed. Particluarly #8 #18 #22#23 #24 and #25
      Genius. I have been waiting to see a pic of Zoey and Katy together for quite some time – they are seriously TWINS – except Katy's twins are much larger than Zoeys…
      Chive on and I hope my home city was a blast – I know it always is and anyone who has a bad time in Chicago is a fucking idiot. 🙂

  • http://www.spachethespatula.com/ shrkattck88

    #15 would make a beautiful coat

    • http://thechive.com/ Turduckenn

      Buffalo Soldiiaaaa!!!!!!

      • black27696

        In the heart of aaamerica!!!

    • dagnut

      Thats Buster Gonad for all you Americans

      • Bryan H.

        pretty sure that's supposed to be Stan marsh's dad from south park. From the episode when are sticking their balls in the microwave to get a Rx for Pot

        • http://twitter.com/soy_LG @soy_LG

          Medicinal Fried Chicken… you are correct sir. 🙂

          Awesome episode!

      • Joe

        fuck buster gonad yay south park bitch

    • commodoresixtyfour

      scoooore!

      • http://thechive.com/ mattythegooch

        Ziggy Marley is in two weeks, can you give me just enough cancer…

    • ShreddyTeddy

      email me shrkattack

      • http://www.spachethespatula.com/ shrkattck88

        Because you have a coat for me to look at?

        • ShreddyTeddy

          Aaahaha! I couldnt stop laughing after reading that. Clever.

  • Bill57

    #9 there's your problem

  • https://twitter.com/NavjeetBajwa n_kb

    #13 Dam, thats sad

    • Fur reels

      it's a dam shame.

      • gocubsgo!

        Gawd dam! Sad river is sad.

  • TopFox

    Delightful.

  • bbqboobs

    #1 Pictured here : Epic Ninja Battle.

    • Frank

      Also, the greenest grass in all of Oklahoma and Texas combined.

  • Nobody

    From now on, always be drunk

  • http://www.facebook.com/johnbbest John Best

    #18 nerd comparison

    • Jen

      you beat me to it.

      • http://facebook.com/daaneskjold Chazz_B

        which makes it no less accurate

    • Sneezy

      LOL. This is brilliant. Best of the bunch.

    • Lotus

      Are you one of the jocks of the chive? I ask this because after reading your post I imagined you yelling "NERD!" and looking around for high fives.

  • jpp407

    #8 The hoff forgot to turn his swagga off.

    • https://twitter.com/NavjeetBajwa n_kb

      dont Hassle the Hoff

    • The Hoff

      The Hoff can't his swagga off. The Hoff's swagga is always on. Don't you ever doubt the Hoff again.

    • hMMMM

      I was actually disappointed…the Hoff can do better than that nasty hoe

      • Master_Rahl

        don't sweat it man. The Hoff is just riding a HO-ped until he gets some higher caliber arm candy.

  • RGH

    #24 awesome

    • ROK247

      the first part is supposed to say "i came here to flip cars and pick up bitches"

  • acash

    Thumbs up if you read Bob's description about this post… —>

    • http://thechive.com/ Turduckenn

      this is not youtube faggot

    • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

      AND the remark below it! ❤ Bob!
      But hey, just the other day when I adviced you to change it to 22 you did! Once!

      Why are those Chive asshats always doing only half of what you tell them to when you give them solid advice? Not so long ago I adviced a 'Topless Tuesday' and what do we get? Burn your bra. Close, but no cigar.

      Hugs,
      Paula
      – love the Burn Your Bra though dear Bobby ❤

      BTW was that you taking upskirt photos of me at the meetup? Either that or my snatch has started flashing randomly. Also you had a way to 'innocent' look in your eyes.

      • https://twitter.com/NavjeetBajwa n_kb

        topless tuesday? this isnt a porn site

  • sexualniner

    #7 obviously photo shopped, Somalians aren't happy.

    • whirrrrr

      That's not happy, that is mid-warcry.

    • Spank the Monkey

      Maybe he's on his way to Burger King?

    • http://twitter.com/ABQLifer @ABQLifer

      They are happy when they are blowing shit up

    • drew

      Not when you call them Somalians…

    • Cecil

      His name is Joesph duoa or something like that. That photo is from time magazine. He was 12 years old when that was taken. He had just hit a government APC, which he later found out was carrying his cousin. He became general of the rebel army like 6 months later. He came to America to escape the horrors of war he experienced as a child. Wound up working at a gas station. Last I heard he had nearly died as a result of an infection from stepping on a nail.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=580533096 Daniel Collier

    Is #20 for real?

    • davey

      no, definitely shopped

      • James

        It's street art, a comment on nanny state/big brother culture etc

        • Illumirage

          Rip off of a Banksy in the form of an installation most likely. He did his fair share of commentary in the same vein a while back…

    • Gutterville

      LONDON??

    • Alll

      this is at the Vatican and it is shopped

    • vozna

      it is from Czech Republic and probably shopped (but I would not be surprised if not 😀 :D)

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1287270554 Forrest Herron

    #18 Seriously what the fuck Bob?

  • eDubya72

    Much to the disagreement of Bob, this DMA was very much enjoyed. See #18 and #22

  • frdrcko

    There is no such thing as a bad post on thechive

    • http://thechive.com/ GernBlansten

      You want some chapstick?

      • jason_in_pc

        my back hurts from lol'ing. zing!!!!

    • thom

      I agree. Every post on the Chive is free to all of you thumbs-downers. If you don't like it then go to I-Am-Bored, reddit, cracked, whatever.

  • BadHillbili

    #24 Whatchu talkin' about Willis?

    • Master_Rahl

      exactly, that's the first thing I thought!!

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=660683938 Erik Regalado

    #18 Amen.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=660683938 Erik Regalado

      And holy shit, my mind just processed #21, WANT!

      • meat

        yeah because pouring soda out of the bottle is so difficult?

  • http://www.facebook.com/richard.c.rice Richard Rice

    #8
    I dont care what anyone says the Hoff can be the shit

    • Xsoldier2000

      Just can't eat a hamburger so well…..

      • n1ghtstalker

        haha, we've all been there though, eh! Fair play to him, I would get shit faced all the time if I had had the life of the Hoff!

  • http://www.facebook.com/richard.c.rice Richard Rice

    #19

    that can't be structurally sound

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=660683938 Erik Regalado

      Who cares? Last one up's a rotten egg!

    • http://www.facebook.com/ranDgallegos Randy Gallegos

      zombie hideout?

    • Puu

      That tree house is in an amusement park in the Philippines. Scary as fuck!

    • sam

      you dumbass, thoses treehouses are in eureka, california(humboldt county). they're in the tops of some scrubby little redwood trees and i've seen em.

  • sparky

    #16 I'd totally smurf that!

    • Brother Maynard

      It already has been.

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