It’s Monday, you could use some motivation (36 Photos)

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  • Marianna

    blah

    • PoonJammer

      @21 That cop want's to lick her butt.

  • Motofoxe

    #11
    Went to see Dropkick Murphy's last week… food joint outside the club boasted the "Poutine Pizza".

    • Dr_StrangePants

      I've had potato pizza before.
      so poutine pizza sounds off the chain

    • Anthony

      What a great tour. Saw them in Calgary last month.

    • Maurice

      NY Fries poutine sucks. Try almost anywhere in PQ and you'll get the real thing.

      • Shazaam

        A new Wild Smokes appears!!

    • newscot

      Motofoxe: Was that in Halifax? Which place had the poutine pizza? I'm intrigued…

      • Motofoxe

        Moncton, and "Cut Throat Pizza"

        • newscot

          Thanks man. I'm heading to NB next week – will have to check it out.

  • dash

    #29 i tell my beard to go and shave himself. so do i with my teeth. teeth! go brush yourself!

    • jasgat

      Have another beer douchebag… Then try to make sense

    • Irishstephen

      Whaaa…?

  • Marianna

    #30 That is just awesome.

    • xDV8x

      If you're talking about the whole pic and not just the tattoo then I agree. It's awesome!

    • Nogod

      the best part is, both of those things are totally irrelevant as there is no god.

      • snotrocket51

        it says in the bible that our names are engraved on Gods hands..the word engraved in hebrew translated to tattooed so our names are tattooed on Gods hand.

        • Kris

          I just hope he has "Ozzy" tattoed on his knuckles.

      • its_forge

        Thank you Friederich Nietzsche.

    • Fasteddy14

      Did he really need a biblical tattoo to remind him not to be gay?

    • Stevo

      Why are these douchebags (rappers usually) so concerned with gays?

    • http://www.facebook.com/manuelrionda Manny Rionda

      That man has spent a lot of time thinking about gay sex. A LOT.

    • dudemcguyface

      Nothing about this is awesome. Stupid tattoo, and the verse relates to marking yourself with names of the dead. Not to mention the old testament is invalid due to Jesus dieing for all sin. If you choose to believe a book written by man.

      • Texasks

        Exactly! jesus came and died for us to set us free from the laws of the old testament, if you still believed that then everyone is going to hell cause it also says thou shall not wear cloths of blended fiber. some of the other laws include not letting different types of livestock graze in the same fields, dont cut your hair or shave, and Any person who curseth his mother or father, must be killed. so lets do a little research before bible bashing. and i do have a question to anyone believing in full on evolution, why do we have no hair all over our body anymore? in every environment you see fur is a essential element of survival and temperature regulation for animals. if natural selection truly existed wouldnt we have died out due to our lack of fur? im not trying to completely disprove evolution or make anyone angry, i really do want to know the answer to that if anyone knows

        • Mmm_Ciao

          We do have hair all over our body.

          • anon

            prove it

        • Josephus....lol

          well texasks we developed the ability to think and come up with new ways of keeping ourselves warm. the concept of natural selection is about breeding. its all about having kids. something that helps you get to the age where you can breed will more than likely be spread through the population. so what do you think would help someone get to the age of breeding better, fur or a brain? and for the record nobody was going to accuse you of completely disproving evolution.

          oh and jesus died because he was pissing off a bunch of romans and the jews knew they would be slaughtered completely if he wasn't "dealt with." that's how he "died for our sins." stop taking the bible so literally, its a book of metaphors

  • mart

    #27 pyro from tf2… hes male.

    • Merc

      Nah that's Mr Foster.

    • Ha.Ha.

      that's a big boy…

    • FreakShow

      He is credit to team

    • JAFitC

      Two Outs, Bottom of the Ninth. . .
      . . . and the Batter Is Loaded.

  • Bill57

    mehh

  • Colin_

    #14 I'll take one heart attack to go, with a side of diabetes.

    • Ha.Ha.

      Holy Shit Batman, is that a 400 ml flask of milkshake??

    • http://www.facebook.com/christopher.neufeldt Christopher Neufeldt

      I don't care, that's got to taste awesome.

    • ThatLooksDelicious

      Why would you have a heart attack, as long as you don't eat this every day like a pig?

      People blame food, the food doesn't shove itself into your mouth.

    • http://www.facebook.com/free2shred Shawn Michael George

      That is all fine and well, but in America, we have Coke's in a plastic bottles made with HFCS. The glass bottles are for Coke's made with actual sugar, which have to be imported to America. Also, we measure in ounces not mL. So yeah, kinda doubt that's actually American.

      • its_forge

        Oh please stop. Graduated flasks are all marked in mL. Science doesn't do cups or ounces.

  • Ru'

    #12 …and the swastika is back to front… Get back in the kitchen.

    • VInce

      Yo, Nazi Bitch i'm really happy for you and imma let you finish, but Adolf Hitler was the greatest racist of all time, OF ALL TIME.

    • Fasteddy14

      Back to front? She does have the flag hung correctly (or as correctly as a neo-nazi idiot could manage).

    • Bill

      She's a shame for the white race

  • Ru'

    (Actually, scratch that comment)

    • sniggi

      fail

  • morant

    #12 id do her. with my desert eagle

    • find her already

      nailed it-

  • Asian

    #27 Fuck the Police

    • Trooper

      Yeah, until you need us. Then you can't dial 911 fast enough…

  • Z_b

    Ever been so mad you… #19

  • Bill57

    browning M2HB is the only proper way to get rid of an idiot like this #12

    • Ha.Ha.

      I think the only way to cure this girl is to give her some Asian penis, cure that yellow fever

    • http://www.thechive.com GreyGhost9

      i think any caliber is a good way to get rid of her

      • yep

        Skip bullets, go with a flamethrower.

    • http://javelinphotos.com Javelin

      Ducktape, WD40, tie raps and the right amount of explosive solve everything!
      In this case combine them and be creative..

    • Texasks

      I agree, Ma Deuce is the only option to neutralize the bitch AND her house

  • DragonFart

    #4

    is?

    fail

    • usmc_chiver

      It refers to "Dick In A Box" – The Lonely Island feat. Justin Timberlake.

      Step One – Cut a hole in the box
      Two – you put your junk in that box
      Three – you make her open the box and that's the way you do it

      It's my dick in a box!

  • Andy Valentine

    #1 – Could also be considered as "Media Black-out"

    • Obi Juan Kenobi

      … ROFL! Wow, I liked your caption way better

  • Micky

    #33
    im gonna say yes.

    • Coolhand37

      It is definately Guiness' shirt.

    • DeRaNgEd

      i dont see the problem, maybe Obi like vintage clothing…

      • KyleGamgee

        Can't be vintage -that happened long ago. Star Wars is set in the past.

    • owengalt

      For the Love of God…..it is spelled GUINNESS!!!!

      • http://renounceapprehension.blogspot.com/ MrRushing

        jesus christ! thank you!

    • terindar

      Wouldn't any shirt he wears be a Guiness shirt?

    • Manhattan

      His name is Alec Guinness 🙂

      • Ryan

        That's Sir Alec Guinness.

  • Vertis

    #31 Soul Eater ! yay

    • YTHOMIT3

      My words exactly!!!!

  • Mr.brightside

    Hellllloooooo mondayyyyyyy!

  • Rose3191

    Gandalf Bunny and Alec Guinness's self referential awesomeness. Well done Chive, well done. Made me giggle the whole way.

    #22 #33

    • Kcruz09

      Does this Miss Rose3191 have a name?

      • Rose3191

        Doesn't everybody?

        • http://www.facebook.com/kcruz09 Kcruz09

          Sure, but it's irrelevant until asked. But if I wanted to get to know somebody, usually the first obvious thing would be is to know their name. So instead of calling you Rose3191, unless you want to be called that, I figure that having an actual name would suit you better.

          • Stevo

            Go for it, and don't let your similarity to scumbag steve, or the fact that you're just a commenter on a website hold you back.

            • http://www.facebook.com/kcruz09 Kcruz09

              Oh, thanks for the confidence boost. I wasn't sure that I would be able to do it, but not that you took time out of your busy day to help somebody out shows you have a caring personality. Perhaps your whole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others. Chive-on Stevo.

          • Rose3191

            Children, play nice haha

            • Kcruz09

              But I like to play dirty,

              • Red

                *face-palm* really? what are you, 13?

              • Kcruz09

                So what is your name miss Rose3191?

                • Foosbah

                  give it up and go get laid. loser.

                  • Kcruz09

                    Your mom is the one that gave it up.

          • truth

            just…..stop. i actually feel embarrassed for you.

  • misschris

    #27 For some reason this one really cracked me up. Maybe because I read it in a baseball announcer's voice.

    • The Rambler

      And he gets beamed with the pitch, right through the chest!!!! He's not getting up folks but now the tieing run is on first and the Alamaba Rebels have their best hitter coming up to the plate, Tim "The Masked" Devito whos already gone 2 for 4 today with a RBI double. He is hitting .334 this season and .422 with two outs this season. IT DOESNT GET MORE EXCITING THAN THIS FANS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

      • Dr. Gonzo

        And for some reason I heard that in Bob Ucker's voice…

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001019719478 Drew Bolden

    #15

    hehe

    • WFD

      did it

  • http://twitter.com/StrongAsMeat @StrongAsMeat

    #11 That is the WORST Poutine ever made. Blasphemous.

    • b-ry

      for a fast food joint, Harvey's is the best.

      • b-ry

        but i don't eat fast food much anymore since i have to watch my child bearing figure after the surgery :*

    • dOOb

      Naaa… at least they use cheese curds. This one is done right, but DEFINITELY not done the best. For the best Poutine, you gotta find a side of the road chip shack in Quebec, along the Montreal river, early in the morning before FISHING!!!

    • Ha.Ha.

      to someone who's never had this before, that looks fucking delicious!

    • Billy

      Really cheese curds and brown gravy poured over french fries sounds disgusting.

      • b-ry

        try it. it's unreal

      • b-ry

        and i'll suck yo dick fo a dolla.

    • Ken

      Needs more cheese curds!!!!

  • http://twitter.com/StrongAsMeat @StrongAsMeat

    #19 #26 Full of awesome.

  • ChiverBU

    #14 Don't worry, that gallon of milkshake was made from semi skimmed milk

    • Fasteddy14

      Where are you from that 400ml equals a gallon?

      • ChiverBU

        I'm from Wherefourhundredmillilitersequalonegallonistan

    • Pissed Off Badger

      IF THATS THE CASE THEN NOW I CAN EAT ANNNNYYYYYTHING

  • Louis

    #32 Exactly me

    • dOOb

      WRONG… I'm 34… and now fucking depressed!

    • Linds

      I am……not. fail:(

    • jonnygamesalot

      i couldnt help but smack myself in the head… 7 out of 7 =(

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