Daily Afternoon Randomness (48 Photos)

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  • John

    A lot of people make special request for 'Keep Calm' these days. It's Tuesday so let's have some fun. I think the Chivers should decide what #40 has to do for the shirt.
    Keep the ideas creative and remember it has to be (somewhat) tasteful… ish. I'll run whichever idea gets the most thumbs by the couple and see if they'll do it in exchange for the shirt. With pics, of course, or it didn't happen.

    Chive On!

    • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

      Well…. do a redhead, find her sexy Chivers yoga pants, FLBP, mind the gap, underboob burn your bra in the middle of nowhere?
      Let's see how many of those 9 (!) CHIVE classics she can mix in one single photo. Now THAT's a challenge!

      Hugs,
      Paula
      – "Paula is to Chivettes as DAR man is to awesome…"
      — LG – twitpic.com/5q3g21

      • ChiverMeTimbers

        Paula…. I think that is a Great Idea…Way to go..

        • caleb

          I hate you Paula, but damn do I respect this suggestion.

      • Bogus

        Or one of each

      • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

        OH! and Hump! 10 CHIVE classics!! DO A PERFECT TEN!!!

        Hugs,
        Paula
        – btw dear Lauren (❤ ), you reading this? Up to a challenge too?

        • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1521060132 Sterling Crawford

          Paula, you were -124 yesterday. Look what you've done!

          • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

            I KNOW, gah! But I'll gladly sacrifice some useless points (that I can't seem to spend anywhere in the first place) for the good cause that is the Chive.

            Hugs,
            Paula
            – "Paula is to Chivettes as DAR man is to awesome…"
            — LG – twitpic.com/5q3g21

            • Innie

              And here I was, thinking the -124 was your (p)enis size, in centimeters.

              • Malkintosh22

                That's one massive vagina.

            • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1521060132 Sterling Crawford

              Any news on if LG is taking up the challenge?

              • LG Connoiseur

                L.M.A.O. That is NOT LG.

                • OIWv

                  agreed. this chick doesn't seem like a self-aggrandizing skank. just a regular one.

                  • Jonnywackoff

                    LOL

                  • http://twitter.com/soy_LG @soy_LG

                    You obviously don't know…but I'm kind of a big deal. My apartment does actually smell of rich mahogany. You may call it self-aggrandizing but it's actually just good ol' fashioned fact. /end sarcasm

                    You 'trolls' need to stop reaching so high. Your stubby little arms can't quite accomplish things the way that us big people can. …And by 'big people' I mean people that actually know how to remove their head from their asses. I'd help you and support you, but you'd just say I was trying to play the martyr, or something like that, I'm sure.😉

                    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1521060132 Sterling Crawford

                      LG, say the word and I will go Seal Team 6 on their ass.

                      R.I.P

                    • Coast Guard

                      YN1 Murphy here from ANT and just wanted to say that you are the coolest , hottest, smartest gal us coasties on base have ever seen (online, offline, you're hot as hell). These pricks would have a heart ache if they met you and they're just pissed because they'll never in their lives be able to even know a girl with your natural beauty and class.

                      Love that you're a Chiver and now we have to take a Chive Everywhere shot together on base.

                • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1521060132 Sterling Crawford

                  Did not say it was. Refer to earlier comments for clarification.

                  • LG Connoiseur

                    Touche, got me there.

        • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

          Also I'd say her doing 7 or more from these 10 should earn them both a shirt, but who am I to give away Chive tees🙂

          Hugs,
          Paula
          – the one you love to hate

          • Smack The Intern

            You're Mac The Intern, to give away Chive tees.

            • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

              I LOL'd at 'Smack the Intern", great idea… mostly because he now refuses to take off those 'pant sleeves'.

              Hugs,
              Paula
              – the one you love to hate

            • OGMrWhite

              agreed

      • Verbal Kint.

        Anal? Well, I like that from my bf

        • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

          Wasn't that how he broke his foot the last time?

          Hugs,
          Paula
          – "Paula is to Chivettes as DAR man is to awesome…"
          — LG – twitpic.com/5q3g21

        • Kyle

          I'm giving you a thumbs up just because you're going by the name "Verbal Kint." Well played.

          • http://www.facebook.com/TimothyWilkes Timothy Wilkes

            Would be funnier if it was "Verbal Kunt", though. . .

        • ya. thats a dude.

          Why's everyone thumbing this up? It's probably a dude

      • Zebulon

        While it would be great to see something self deprecating that we can all enjoy, I think she should ALSO do something good for society, like volunteer for an evening at a homeless shelter or something like that.

        • Gulab Jamun

          I thumbed you down, because I initially thought your comment was dumb, but now I realize that I'm just a selfish dick, so please accept my humble apology. That was actually a great suggestion.

        • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

          You DO realise that you're on The Chive, right?

          Hugs,
          Paula
          – "Paula is to Chivettes as DAR man is to awesome…"
          — LG – twitpic.com/5q3g21

          • Pwned

            Oh damn, really? I keep thinking this is Reddit, because the pictures are all the same. Thanks for the reminder.

            • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

              Oh no problem, no hard feelings. Here's a shortcut back to reddit for you: http://bit.ly/fTtVEr

              Hugs,
              Paula
              – "Paula is to Chivettes as DAR man is to awesome…"
              — LG – twitpic.com/5q3g21

              • Pwned

                Sounds like you're butthurt. What day of the month is it?

              • ChiverBU

                You're on fire Paula! You have 6 comments in a row over -50.

            • TRON

              win

      • Shawn

        Wow, Paula, great friggin' idea. Gotta hand it to ya.

      • RGH

        I agree with Paula…for once.

        Great idea!

      • https://www.facebook.com/jayrey81 Jason Reyes

        Great call! perhaps side-boob if she's going to be doing hump aaand gap too… saves her some issues if she's not a contortionist. Def gotta put a chivette tattoo on too to automatically join the ranks of sexy chivers among us.

        • ...

          it is do-able with a mirror. effectively 2 pics, front and back, in one.

          • https://www.facebook.com/jayrey81 Jason Reyes

            goooood call!

    • jDong

      Something involving another girl and a cup?

    • Mike

      Just give him the frickin' shirt. She's smokin' hot!

    • Murph

      Fix the economy

      • hhhhhhh

        end world hunger.

        • HAHSO

          FEED THE CHILDREN

          • HAHSO

            METH.

            • HAHSO

              SAVE THE WHALES

              • drew

                sea sheppards did that already

                • http://twitter.com/thecureforhope TheCureForHope

                  Those idiots did precisely DICK.

              • HAHSO

                FROM BEING MADE INTO CONDOMS.

                • HAHSO

                  #39 HAVE HER DO THIS.
                  EXCEPT FOR THE BLACK ASS-PART.

                  • HAHSO

                    THAT ASS IS BLACK NOT

    • First Time Caller

      He must bring you…..a shrubbery.

      • http://www.myspace.com/theamericanmaniacs BentWrenches

        Neee!

      • Birdhaus32

        AND cut down the largest oak in the forest with… A HERRING!

        • xDV8x

          She has to jump into a lake whilst dumping like that dude from Tosh.0 awhile back

          • Chapelle

            You are wrongly assuming that anyone except you thinks Tosh.0 is funny, or ever watches it.

            • the truth

              agreed. daniel tosh is about as funny the holocaust.

              • Penrath

                Who's Daniel Tosh? Who cares?

                Negative Gal (my fond nickname for Paula..referring of course to her points and a pun for all you DNA research scientists) has a great idea!

                Tonight I'll FAP to Paula.
                o.0

                • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

                  Well THAT's a first!

                  Hugs,
                  Paula
                  – the one you love to hate

                  • Penrath

                    Now Paula…you can't be a virgin…again…
                    😉

              • reme

                I guess the holocaust must be pretty funny then.

                • Foosbah

                  only if you have the worst sense of humor since thinking daniel tosh is funny.

      • psadna1

        Over a year of Chiving, and this is one of maybe three that made me actually laugh out loud!

    • BaseballRube

      Mind the gap, in just heels with a hint of side-boob. Always epic.

    • Hich

      Midnight city-streaking.

    • Oblivious

      #40 Do Porn

      • truth

        brink it!!!!

        • HAHSO

          GET SOME BOOBS.

          • HAHSO

            OR GROW SOME BOOBS

    • Dan

      A gif of her dancing in a thong would be nice. Face required.

    • sheoncebelieved

      hack Paula's page and delete her existence from cyber space

      • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

        Either that or exchange your avatar for your real photo: http://bit.ly/jEtT63

        Hugs,
        Paula
        – "Paula is to Chivettes as DAR man is to awesome…"
        — LG – twitpic.com/5q3g21

        • Mortal Kombat

          Finish him!

        • TomTheCameraGuy

          You have a hairy ass, Paula?

          • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

            At the end of the month, yes.
            The first day of the month I set it on fire.

            Hugs,
            Paula
            – "Paula is to Chivettes as DAR man is to awesome…"
            — LG – twitpic.com/5q3g21

            • Kells Yeah

              Next time you set your ass on fire, cover yourself in gasoline first. Trust me, it works much better that way… for all of us.

              • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

                Yeaahhhh… not falling for it. Already burned off my moustache on last saturdays "Chive 'Cat Saturday' flaming cat race".

                Hugs,
                Paula
                – "Paula is to Chivettes as DAR man is to awesome…"
                — LG – twitpic.com/5q3g21

        • Honk

          I am now unequivocally in Paula's corner… Damn what has the world come to. I fell in love with a troll…

    • http://www.myspace.com/theamericanmaniacs BentWrenches

      Well, I know that if MY girl said she would do anything,It would have to be a threesome with her hot girlfriend…..Pics or it didn't happen

    • Gooner29

      I believe a hump day post would be more than enough (possible mind the gap as well?).

      On a side note, I had my "Keep Calm" shirt delivered on Friday the 5th and returned home to find it gone. Welcome to Chicago… I swear if I see someone wearing that shirt walking down my street… I'll probably just buy another one. FML.

      • HAHSO

        PUSSY

    • Çreep

      burn your bra with a tastful kiss involving another girl in public, must see both in the same pic.umm ya, i think i wouldnt mind seein that.

    • Intensemasterdebater

      Make him and Bill Murray sandwiches while they play poker…

    • That Guy

      have her take some creative pics of her spelling out the chive with her body. eg: one pic she shapes her body into a 'C'.. then a 'H' and so on. then you can put it up in the office.

    • ROK247

      why the hell should you give him a free shirt when he's the one that gets to bang that?

    • JackDiesel

      Ass drop gif

      • gocubsgo!

        YES! True!

    • mca

      Sex in the back of a volkswagon?

      • craigarlen

        nice reference…

      • shaka

        very uncomfortable place…..

    • Kevin

      More pictures! Mind the Gap…. Hump day Wednesday… lots of options here people

    • Jimmy

      You could ask her to stop cheating on you, but that probably still won't happen.

      – Jimmy

      • http://twitter.com/The_Scofield_ @The_Scofield_

        Aisle three… Burn ointment.

    • Raph

      make those donut hamburger things, with bacon of course, then actually make those cookie monster cupcakes that look legit and not melted pieces of delicious crap

    • KNOB

      As much as some of you hate Paula… You have to admit she's got this one right.
      This might be a record for thumbs up for Paula.

      • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

        Fucking bad for my reputation though, but HAD to do it of course. FOR THE CHIIIIVE!

        Hugs,
        Paula
        – "Paula is to Chivettes as DAR man is to awesome…"
        — LG – twitpic.com/5q3g21

    • Sick

      Send a pic of her wearing HIS brand new keep calm shirt full of large holes, showing plenty of skin…

      Nah, that would be too mean

    • SweetAwesomeness

      make her and her hottest friend make out wearing wet t-shirts!!!! take a pic then send to theChive!

      • RAS

        Burn your bra with a smile!

    • http://twitter.com/robotinside @robotinside

      The answer to #40…..is #41.

      • TheAndychrist

        THANK YOU!!!! I was wondering when someone else would notice.

      • Bluto

        I also assumed that I saw what theChive did there.

    • its_forge

      I'm seconding someone else's vote of "threesome with one of her friends"

      • http://www.myspace.com/theamericanmaniacs BentWrenches

        That would have been me,Forge

      • Won

        dirty old fuck.

    • trying

      She can re-create the Burn ur bra bare a$$ in the mirror picture

      oh and give him the best blow J ever……..got to hook a brother up when you can.

    • Christopher

      How about she send in a post for burn your bra.in a white wet t-shirt.

    • bsitz

      How about go find a b/f that isnt lazy and cheap

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=761074582 Jessica Condrey

        ^^ lol

        • gocubsgo!

          Well played Jessica. LOLd indeed.

          • dub

            you "laughed out louded"?

      • http://twitter.com/The_Scofield_ @The_Scofield_

        Yeah, I agree. I mean just because she doesn't have a disgusting body doesn't mean this asshole should get a hard to get shirt for free.

    • Pat

      she should probably make him a sandwich in that outfit…with lots and lots of bacon..and they take pictures of her preparing it

      • dub

        you're not cool. you're trying too hard.

    • davidmrichards

      Do a body paint version of the "keep calm and chive on shirt" to show how badly she wants a real one.

    • mike

      reenact 2 girls one cup with her best friend and a chocolate icecream cone.

    • Jonnywackoff

      I say she has to woo the ugliest, fattest, stinkiest, horniest, loneliest, most desperate Chiver out of his mom's basement to a bar/pub/park of her choosing and fuck him.

      Ugly, fat, stinky, horny, lonely, desperate, still-living-in-your-moms-basement Chivers – the contest begins! Send in your pics of you "doin' your thang" now!

      • The Chivery

        That'd be too easy. All she has to do is pick one at random.

        Chive on!

        • Jonnywackoff

          I love thee The Chivery

          Chive Up!

    • Takingbackcider

      Whatever happens,That guy has to get down on one knee and ask that awesome chick to marry him!😀

      • shaka

        bite your tong sir…. Never forget that no matter how hot she is right now, she will bitch up later in life… Hit it and quit it, don't forget the quit part…

    • Derpandeal

      I say she has to buy another shirt of equal value!

    • Sploooge

      #40 #41 I think you already know what you want Mr. John. subliminal messages FTW.

      touche~

    • IMHO

      It's not what she must do for Chive, it is what Chive must do for her (for more, obviously).

    • http://twitter.com/dalton_matt @dalton_matt

      That's good enough for me. Give the girl a shirt.

    • TheMilkman

      She can just have mine. It came in the mail pre-stained with mustard – or some other yellow shit – that won't come out. I'm blaming fuckin' formerly fat Patty.

    • Haywood

      That would be in the butt Bob.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=760102828 James Keogh

      Paint his house?

  • mick

    #48 nice …

    • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

      Image search Norma Stitz. You won't forget it!

      Hugs,
      Paula
      – "Paula is to Chivettes as DAR man is to awesome…"
      — LG – twitpic.com/5q3g21

      • mick

        Dammit Paula …

      • Dan

        DON'T. Please stop advising that. You did it yesterday, too.

        • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

          Oh don't worry, I forgot about that already. Thank you for being worried❤

          Hugs,
          Paula
          – "Paula is to Chivettes as DAR man is to awesome…"
          — LG – twitpic.com/5q3g21

        • jimmy del fuego

          Chk out those shoulders….she must be swimmer….

      • jdb

        dammit… got me on that one.

    • FlyingSpagMonst

      Good Christ

    • its_forge

      Somebody really knows how to use that loofah

    • John

      My GAWD I think you guys have finally found the perfect ass!!! Dont get me wrong there are lots of very fine specimens in the weekly DAR, but this has to be the perfect ass. Well Done Sir – Extremely Well Done – Wheres the tissues this shit is sticky

    • R2G Fan

      Not nice…damn near perfect.

    • Tony

      I think I'm in love…

    • Quasipickle

      Can't believe it hasn't been said yet:

      FIND HER!!!

      MOAR!!!

      • dub

        it hasn't been said before because we aren't all so pathetically desperate for fap material as you are.

    • //nocomment

      this girl needs more cheesburgers

      • Wade Wilson

        Now that's a gap a guy can really park a Greyhound in…

  • JAPIV

    #10 I bet that thing is wrecked…

    • http://www.youtube.com/user/ADHDavenger13?feature=mhsn Firefighter23

      He could just hold her and slam her into his junk….wait…..wtf did I mean by that?

    • BoCo_Kid

      No doubt!

    • Ray-Ray

      LMAO! That comment is AWESOME!

    • That Guy

      imagine the sacrifice you'd have to make to be his gf. you will forever be ruined to all men after that. "you dated who? [tosses napkin on the table] well we all know how this plays out."

      • biggles604

        It's not blown out, the new PC term is now 'Comfort Fit'

      • Horny Moose

        I wonder if he say’s “now I must break you” before he taps that ass

        • Leonidas

          I’ll bet her vag looks like a giant open face roast beef sandwich

          • shaka

            Looks like a worn-out catchers mit…

    • Tom

      One of his loads would drown her.

    • Çreep

      small price to pay to have everything handed to ya i guess.

      • Wade Wilson

        Poor use of the word 'small'. Really.

    • Chim richels

      Can we please get brothas to stop wearing jeans shorts? Its a bad look on every dude.

      • dub

        He had a growth spurt. Leave the kid alone.

        • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1521060132 Sterling Crawford

          They just ran out of jeans making him his 68 x 89's

      • Heysuse

        AMEN. And not just brothas but everyone, damn.

      • Rad-Balls

        They're called jorts, bro.

        • William

          Please hand over your man card for knowing this.

      • Çreep

        i dunno macs custom made shorts were trend settin',just shouldnt dark socks with them thats where we go wrong…..o.0

      • Chapelle

        I guess denim is the only material which comes in XXL TREETRUNK size.

    • Hammer_Pants

      Not often you can get a BJ with both parties standing up, either.

    • NotPaula

      Shaq's finger is bigger than my dick

      • dub

        so is everybody else's.

        • the crowd

          boom!

          • CBRian1K

            Head shot. pink mist.

        • http://twitter.com/The_Scofield_ @The_Scofield_

          Man, that one was tossed up and you knocked it out of the park. Bravo.

        • Darkside

          HAHAHAH! The alley oop!

    • Bluto

      No chance she can take anything more than just the tip. The laws of physics make anything else uncivilized. I actually feel bad for Shaq because I doubt he has ever experienced truly full penetration.

      • http://www.facebook.com/ranDgallegos Randy Gallegos

        you've clearly never watched porn… ever…

      • Darkside

        Lotta dudes in here talkin about another dudes dick as if they've all seen it……party foul bro.

    • MoMorris

      I have to wonder how it's even physically possible. You'd think she'd be dead from internal hemorrhaging by now.

    • Anonymous

      many hilarious comments, but penis size doesn't scale up with body size. So she isn't ruined for all future men. except for the part where he is really rich too.

    • Wade Wilson

      You can pretty much refer to any chick that's been with Shaq as 'a human sleeping bag'.

    • Wayne

      I don't think sloppy seconds begin to describe what is left of that poor girl… 'her vahina is like wizard's sleeve.'

  • DCMOFO

    #3
    I would imagine that guy could unhinge his jaw and swallow a 12" sub without chewing.

    • Dan

      His jaw area doesn't even look human.

    • Jimmy del Fuego

      Jabba the Hut's first cousin.

    • Gooner29

      It's like Peter Griffin's bearded cousin.

    • ilovethechive

      Did we really need the red box to see this?

    • http://twitter.com/ABQLifer @ABQLifer

      Breaking News: Fat Booth app reaches beyond the phone

    • Kickmeto

      Holy Shit! WTF is that?

    • scharfy

      I've met him. He's an alright guy with an unfortunate condition. He knows people stare and talk behind his back, but ignores it and lives his life.

      • dub

        hell, the chive isn't even considerate enough to do it behind his back. they feature him on their site with a red-circle around him. classy.

      • http://www.thechive.com Ace Rimmer

        Attn Chivers:

        This is a medical condition. He doesn't look like that simply because he's overweight.
        I also know someone with this condition. He's very patient and understanding when people stare at him. He's also a doctor with tons of money. Haters gonna hate.

    • Ha.Ha.

      not only swallow it, but store it for a late-night snack.

  • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

    Fuck 'Angry Birds'; I like me a good game of 'Angry Chivers'.

    You suckers can't seem to rise above 'easy' level though… Put in some effort will ya!?

    Hugs,
    Paula
    – "Paula is to Chivettes as DAR man is to awesome…"
    — LG – twitpic.com/5q3g21

    • sheoncebelieved

      "Rise Above" ….Pearl Jam fan? PJ20 in Long Beach next month?

      • hMMMM

        What asswipes are thumbing down PJ???

    • Trolligator

      I'm tired of your shit. It's like, I don't even enjoy trolling you anymore. It's not you, it's me…

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1521060132 Sterling Crawford

        It's just doing it because it's points are slowly climbing towards positive.

    • Çreep

      you're an idiot.

    • its_forge

      crotch

    • Penrath

      Challenge accepted…what thread shall we hijack?😉

      • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

        Well I'm hijacking your thread right meow, to repost my Cat Saturday post that Mac the Intern accidently deleted (THAT's why his pants were cut up btw):

        "As long as Chive keeps naming it "Cat Saturday" instead of "Caturday" as it's supposed to be, me and the neighbourhood trolls are holding our weekly "Chive Cat Saturday Race".
        We've collected 16 stray cats this week so this saturday should be fun.
        Around nightfall we'll soak the suckers in gasoline and bet on what flaming furball will get the farthest.
        I'm hoping to earn back some money this week as last week I DID bet on the cat that ran the most before turning into a flaming pile, but the sucker ran in circles!!! ARGHH!!"

        Hugs,
        Paula
        – the one you love to hate

        • Penrath

          . . . .she was struck with delusions of adequacy.

          • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

            Didn't see that one coming huh?🙂

            Hugs,
            Paula
            – the one you love to hate

            • http://www.thechive.com Penrath

              Don't make me give you a thumbs up… :p

    • hug me paula!

      angry paula is angry

  • http://theberry.com/ walkingtheriver

    #7 Not single? FUCKFUCKFUCK!

    • Tony

      Has a boyfriend to make nekked video for? YEAHYEAHYEAH!!!!

    • Shenanigans

      Who gives a shit, seriously?

    • http://www.facebook.com/DriftwoodProse Nathan Hart

      To make matters worse, it's Young Neil from Scott Pilgrim.

    • Guesty

      I know! And you were oh so close to being with her too!!! Damn bro, sorry. I really thought you had this one in the bag….

    • it's time to stop

      and? who gives a fuck?

    • its_forge

      Yeah, you had a shot. (guffaw)

  • hater

    #14.

    • Fuck You

      Hey there, I noticed that you found a photo up there and posted it again here. Go fuck yourself!

      • JpJ

        Ya, I hate nothing more than when a guys posts a pic here of something posted up there! We need to stop this shit.

        • JpJ=douchebag

          reposting other peoples' pics is the chive's bread & butter. you must hate the chive then.

      • FUyoufuckingfuck

        haha. hate-ception. the chive just posts stuff someone else has already posted. so, you hate the chive. you go fuck yourself. hypocrite.

    • laxcat36

      Hot raver chicks are my kryptonite

    • http://www.gfys.org/ obvious

      See what i mean when i say all chivettes are whores.

      • Foosbah

        yep.

  • laxcat36

    I think #3 is the father of #2. Just sayin…

    • yaknow

      Oh really? You're a bright one. Ya stupid ass-clown.

    • Ugh

      Wow, I wonder how you made that association, must be a fucking genius of some sort!

      • dub

        So he is the father?

    • JGG

      Cushing's

  • Verbal_Kint

    I like men okay?

    • Verbal_Kint

      Cute… Run along, now….

  • Captlazarus

    #36 I ROR

    • CKING

      OMG! Absolutely awesome🙂

  • Mark

    #18

    Mesmerizing

    • Sick

      i could watch all day… productivity? pffft

    • Yahweh

      whoever she is, she can't dance for shit.

      • dub

        Know how I know you're gay?

        • Yahweh

          Because you watch a LOT of gay porn and mistook me for someone in one of the videos?

          • dub

            Whatever, dude. I was entertained watching it, but I guess some people are not as easy to please.

            Can we get a Richard Simmons GIF for Yaweh?

            • Yahweh

              "Can we get a Richard Simmons GIF for Yaweh? "

              Why? Is that how you habitually pass the time?

        • its_forge

          No, she really can't. I've seen exotic dancers who dance like this and one time the owner caught me watching one with this look on my face like 0.o and said "Yeah, it's her first week. I don't think she's going to last." This is not how you shake your ass; this sounds sexist as all hell but it's kind of a sign of a girl who's never had a really good night in bed. Nonetheless she's certainly got a very cute butt.

          • tits_forge

            Too creepy, did not read.

            • its_forge

              Yeah sorry I'm old enough to have been to a topless bar there kid. LOL

          • Yahweh

            "it's kind of a sign of a girl who's never had a really good night in bed."

            exactly. that's what i was insinuating. ( but i'm guessing most of the guys here, like dub, had their only sexual experience consist of a jar of peanut-butter and the family dog)

            • dub

              What's the peanut butter for?

            • dub

              Because I only spread jam on the inside of my asshole and let the dog lick it out. Not peanut-butter.

          • anon

            …a sweet bike !

      • Elbie

        you don't need to dance to shake dat ass!

      • Tits McGee

        i know right? even if it was just a silhouette i'd be able to tell she's white 'cause of how bad she dances. lol

    • dub

      That's an expensive looking bike.

      • Chapelle

        I'd let her buy me lunch.

    • Shad

      Hello Kitty

    • DubYA

      That's a Triathlon Bike, shit… I'd fuck a triathlete

  • Token Black Chiver

    #26 I've had that calculator. It's not that impressive.

    • mick

      You know how I know you're gay …

      • Token Black Chiver

        Because i'd fuck the girl and not play with the calculator?

        • mick

          No, because you fuck dudes.

    • Hank738

      Yeah. He had better at least upgrade to a TI-80 if he were to ignore what's going on behind him

      • Guesty

        Seriously? WTF Hank?

      • Chris Hansen

        wtf. That's obviously a TI-89. noob.

    • Truth

      You've had that calculator… sexually?

      • dub

        Who hasn't? I like smashing my flaccid penis between the case and the calculator. Then I'll get hard and BURST out like the hulk.

    • guesst

      This is part of a set right? also with http://www.google.com/search?cx=w&q=gtfo+bitc

      Does anyone have more of them? know where they came from?

    • Ryan

      He's pushing the wrong buttons to get tangent with her curves.

    • Chris_Mason

      Get off me bitch! I'm doing science

  • First Time Caller

    What the hell is going on in #26? Turn around damn it!!!

    • Birdhaus32

      FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS GOOD ON THIS PLANET! LET HER IN THE BED!!

    • The Picture

      She has AIDS, he's a gay math major. Get the picture now?

    • theoceanbeauty

      hes gay. thats what is goin on

      • dub

        Unless that's his sister. Then a calculator seems like a decent object of distraction.

        • stephanie

          sister…smister…she's obviously cold and wants under the covers.

        • The Chivery

          Nah, a true Chiver would look at any of his female family members and say "Challenge Accepted".

          Chive on!

    • Tom

      find her

    • Token Black Chiver

      Who took the picture?

      • Chapelle

        Tyree.

        • https://www.facebook.com/ilya.josefson Ilya Josefson

          He just got out the joint.

    • Wade Wilson

      Oh fuck off, he's doing math.
      LOL

  • sheoncebelieved

    #5 16 will get you 20
    Dar is to Late as Paula is to a fat cow

    • Mikhael

      Haha, I like how you re-use the same comments!

    • dub

      This looks like it's in Seattle? Those smoothie shops are everywhere. Plus these butts look like small Washington grown butts.

      • its_forge

        The butts are teeny and pale in Boca Raton too.

    • biggles

      it won't get you 20 if they don't tell.

      Fark…do i have to explain everything around here.

      • GI Joe

        Wish you would quit the "16 will get you 20" bullshit……both girls are fully, though skimpily, clothed…you don't like what gets posted go to church and get off the Internet.

    • http://www.gfys.org/ truth

      Typical chivers ,obssesed with chics with a boys tush.

      • http://thechive.com Mr_Zambu

        whats wrong with that? :p

    • Ha.Ha.

      these girls are way legal

  • Kaars

    #4… Fool me once…

    • HAHSO

      SAN FRANCISCO.

  • Verbal K

    First! I mean gayest!!

  • Çreep

    #14 you on the right, as you wish and #48 fuckin incredible

    • http://www.gfys.org/ cop

      The whoreness on the chive these days is getting ridiculous.

      • http://www.aircraftraffle.co.za Grant

        dont like? dont look at it.
        The chive is probably the best site on the web keeping it real, sexy, light, funny and all round manly.

        • http://www.thechive.com GreyGhost9

          i want more of #14 and #30. i would like #14 at the same time

  • robi5150

    #46
    Seems fair!

    • bettingonthecubs

      is the third one $100 extra?

    • Stay Happy

      Can we just go with the happy ending and save some serious cash.

    • http://www.myspace.com/theamericanmaniacs BentWrenches

      Don't forget to rinse! HA!

    • Burro

      can I write this off as a business expense?

    • curious

      Really? Are you sure? What does BSDM stand for?

  • Captain Cool

    #43
    Sneaky bastard

  • Shenanigans

    At first, I was going to write something dumb and annoying, basically troll you. But, then I took a deep breath and decided to just enjoy the DAR today, and not be an asshole for once.

    • cindy

      At first, I was going to upvote your comment. But why should i thumb somebody up for 'not being an asshole'?

      down u go, troll

      • Shenanigans

        True, chicks love assholes. So, fuck you Cindy. What time should I pick you up from your kitchen?

        • http://twitter.com/The_Scofield_ @The_Scofield_

          Recovery combo!

    • Verbal Kint.

      boring…. be gay like me!

    • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

      If only I had your strength…

      Hugs,
      Paula
      – "Paula is to Chivettes as DAR man is to awesome…"
      — LG – twitpic.com/5q3g21

      • Shenanigans

        It's all in the wrist.

      • Bill57

        you do Paula but smell isn't everything

  • Captain Cool

    #2 Dad??? #3 ! ! !

  • sheoncebelieved

    #10 he should be arrested for child porn…

    • ROK247

      he must tear that thing to shreds

      • its_forge

        You know babies come out of there right?

        • anon

          doing shaq would be like giving birth to a 40 pound baby

    • icejingles

      It just doesn't look natural.

    • PressWord

      I think you're confusing him with yourself.

    • Freak

      He must be normal size down below or She'd be dead!

    • Dazza

      I'm just going to say what every other male here is thinking. Standing BJ.

      • Foosbah

        to be quite honest? no, i wasn't thinking about someone standing in front of Shaq and sucking his dick. you might want to get that checked out……

  • clark

    Streaking!!!!

  • moondoggy13

    #40 Have her keep the heels on for the evening

    • Mambo

      Maybe ask her to buy some underwear that doesn't look like grandma's 80's wardrobe hand-me-downs.

      • its_forge

        LOL@U imagining someone's grandmother in underwear that fits like that

        • forge_this

          LOL@U still being around despite everyone and their grandmother finding you creepy.

          • its_forge

            Only the pathetic troll jagoffs find me "creepy," everyone else seems capable of conversing normally with me or ignoring me.

            • dub

              No man, you're pretty goddamn creepy.

            • Nah, still creepy.

              Creepy and delusional. We've got a sociopath on our hands here.

              • its_forge

                Nah, still just all sockpuppets belonging to *one* person. Buzz off, crusty little sock.

                • dub

                  Nope.(In all honesty) I'm just impersonating the dub from several posts up, but it ain't me as the other two. We just all all happen to think you're a creepy old bastard.

                  • its_forge

                    1) I want you to know that I deeply and honestly care what you think.

                    Yes, that was sarcasm.

                    2) Forty-nine. Is not. Old.

                    • http://www.gfys.org/ obvious

                      Man seriously get a life !! Stop fucking pies while watching the disney channel you worthless piece of feces.

                    • its_forge

                      If you're here often enough for my responses to bug you, then you're here just as much as I am and are just as much in need of getting a life. Anything you imagine beyond what you see here is your problem, not mine. I'm a happily married middle-aged dude with a slightly boring evening job. That's it.

                    • Ha.Ha.

                      Just thought I'd add myself into the mix. I think you're creepy, too.

                    • its_forge

                      Another crusty sock!! I don't think I've been trolled by this many socks since my Usenet days.

                    • Creepy

                      I'm sure you'd like to think that some, one cruel person is trolling you, but it just isn't so. Don't believe me, just look at your rating lately, more people dislike you than not. What you choose to do with that, is up to you. We're just trying to help you out.

                    • its_forge

                      Concern trolling is *so* Nineties.

                    • Creepy

                      Being creepy is timeless.

  • Odd Son

    No Screencap from WWE's Monday Night Raw with the "Keep Calm and Chive On" sign dead center in the screen. Perhaps you're waiting for the next "Chive Everywhere" post.

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