Daily Afternoon Randomness (49 Photos)

  • john

    they should call it daily evening randomness…

    • dustin

      Happy Morning Randomness from Hawaii!

      • jimbo

        lol, does it even matter


    • snowbird

      they should call you shut the fuck up

    • Banks

      i kinda' love it. last week we got early DAR's all week. not this week. it's the charm of the site. makes me feel safe knowing there is an actual person behind the wheel, getting drunk late night and scrambling to get these (very impressive) posts off the ground.

    • dub

      You should move to California where it is currently the afternoon.

    • ...

      2pm in SoCal where the offices are. I'd call that afternoon.

    • mark

      Chive is based in California. Afternoon randomness is right on time if you're not an ego centric East Coaster πŸ™‚

      • john

        haha too true i'm used to the offices being in chicago.

    • Henrik

      The DER? That sounds stupid!

      • Mr.C

        very close to DERP, so yes it is stupid.

    • SFDOi


      dylan doesn't like when people pull her tail.

      • JerkFace

        Haha! Hilarious, just plain funny!

      • SFDOi

        Thanks JerkFace. I can always use a new friend, did you like the gif I did just for the chivers? #2 ? I am pretty proud of my dance skills!

        Oh by the way I totally think I might get a date tonight… I've been messaging this guy on craiglist all afternoon, he's almost ready to commit! You should try it too!

    • Lotus

      I DO like the addition of a Hump Day post every Wednsday. I DON'T like how they use Hump Day as an excuse to cram more asses into the DAR giving us less funny content. Also, #4 has been posted so many times on this site, for the love of god find something new!

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001603828333 Little Bit

      I paid $21.87 for an iPad 2 32-GB and my girlfriend loves her Panasonic Lumix GF 1 Camera that we got for $ 38.76 there arriving tomorrow by UPS. I will never pay such expensive retail prices in stores again. Especially when I also sold a 40 inch LED TV to my boss for $ 657 which only cost me $ 62.81 to buy. Here is the website we use to get it al from, http://to.ly/aUxz

      • tyler

        hey, nobody cares about your friend mike. nobody cares about your friend mike. look, can you just do me a favor? just, die of AIDS?

    • Late to the party

      They should call you 'get-a-life-john' or 'get-a-real-job-johnny' or just 'job-johnny' for short.

      • john

        well, today i hung out with my girlfriend, went mountain biking with my friends, went to the gym and went on a run with another one of my friends. oh, and i usually work 40 hours a week in a cardboard factory (i'm only 18, and going to iu next year and got direct admit to kelley), so pretty much, yes, i do both have a real job, a life, oh and for the 'job-johnny', i also got a blow job today. so fuck off.

        • DapperDan

          10 bucks says the bj was from one of your mountain biking friends

    • Niggher Beater


      really? the chive is so shamelessly full of shit they tried to make it look as if Kelly Osbourne sent in a picture of herself grabbing Coco's ass to them? REALLY?

  • davidmrichards


    #38 is ridiculous!!!11!!!

    • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

      ❀ LG ❀

      – "Paula is to Chivettes as DAR man is to awesome…"
      — LG – twitpic.com/5q3g21

    • aleXTC

      I dont know weather to thumbs you down because of the FIRTS thing or to give thumb up because Lauren is so damn hott!!!

      • davidmrichards

        It's like Sophie's choice, but with asses instead of Nazis. C'mon the first was an hommage to Paula!

    • Smack The Intern

      The sexiest reference! Did I get it?

      • davidmrichards

        Nailed it!

        • Smack The Intern

          Works every time, 60% of the time.

      • http://twitter.com/soy_LG @soy_LG

        I probably shouldn't be chiving from the hospital, but I needed a pick-me-up and this was the choice. To answer your question, you most certainly got it. My boyfriend wanted me to dress up as one of those gals for him this past Halloween and I made my own make-shift outfit from the video. Didn't leave the house but it at least made him very happy. πŸ™‚

        • Smack The Intern

          1. I don't know why you're in the hospital, but GET BETTER!
          3. You might be the best girlfriend ever.
          4. If you ever decide to leave your boyfriend and try your luck with someone far inferior to him, I will be waiting.

          • Smack hater

            Why the fuck would you delete all the comments against LG? I have no hate towards her, but you Sir are a fuckin pussy. I bet the new ones get deleted too….fag

            • Smack The Intern

              What the fuck are you smoking? What comments?


          • truthserum

            Smack the Intern – every single on of these numbers, save for the 2nd one because apparently you can't count REEK of desperation, loneliness, and hopelessness.

            Don't feed into her crap – c'mon be a MAN

        • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

          I really hope you get well soon dear Lauren ❀
          The dishes are piling up in the kitchen so please come back ASAP!
          BTW 5,000+ views on your pic below πŸ™‚

          – "Paula is to Chivettes as DAR man is to awesome…"
          — LG – twitpic.com/5q3g21

        • Coast Guard


          do you know me? im in the coast guard, you come to my base all the time, i love you!

          • http://twitter.com/soy_LG @soy_LG

            I work for the Coast Guard, on a base (i.e. I don't 'come to a base all the time'), so you obviously are full of shit.

            • Coast Guard

              all your base are belong to me?

              • caleb

                Grammar and a strangle hold on the English language isn't the Russian Coast guard's priority.

        • Ateka

          Great pic, you really know how to show some skin while staying classy, thanks again πŸ™‚

        • its_forge

          Jeez womanchild I hope it's nothing too horrible and you get well quick and don't ever have to go back for that problem.

        • jealous of him

          Your boyfriend (the American silver-earning swimmer, right?) is the luckiest man in the whole fucking world for so many reasons. Lucky bastard better treat you right.

          • truthserum

            pathetic again! Stop it you guys! You're an embarrassment to our gender!

    • http://twitter.com/soy_LG @soy_LG

      Wow. What a nice way to ruin something incredibly altruistic and sweet of another. Thanks.

      • its true

        he would need extra large paper to draw ur hideous feet

        • I Am That Cat

          I don't get it, are hideous feet larger than normal feet or something, or do you just need more room in your crayons for morons art class?

          • its true

            think of a hobbit with large sized feet, for a hobbit

            • IRL friend

              What? That chick is over 5'6 which is really tall for a girl and her feet are small. What in the hell are you even talking about?

        • http://twitter.com/soy_LG @soy_LG

          My small, manicured, clean feet? I love them. Having them drawn on another large sheet would be pretty awesome. πŸ™‚

          • OINFGi

            it's "pedicured", numb-nuts.

            • http://twitter.com/soy_LG @soy_LG

              The fact that YOU know that is more of your problem, and less of mine.

              • OINFGi

                there you have it folks. awareness of proper terminology is problematic.

                • its true

                  u win!

                • http://twitter.com/soy_LG @soy_LG

                  That went completely over your head. I'm gonna' let you marinate on what I said for a while.

                  You have a brain (I'm sure). Use it.

                  • OINFGi

                    yes my dear, i know. you're never wrong on here. i got the message.

                  • OINFGi

                    (and "gonna" doesn't have an apostrophe in it. but i'm sure that's somehow over my head too).

                  • OINFGi

                    (oh, and you marinate "in" something, not "on" something)

                    • . . .

                      just out of curiosity, why are you being so mean?

                    • OINFGi

                      "mean" how?

                    • OINFGi

                      Actually, scratch that. This whole thing is a partisan side-show that's frankly a waste of my time. I'm just gonna stick to the stuff that's actually funny. You all have fun entertaining this bullshit.

                    • truthserum

                      She's mad and being mean because we are currently trashing her on the DAR and she is melting (that's actually why she's in the hospital.)

                      But really, just look at how quickly bitchy she gets when people make a comment against her and don't just 'sheep it up' by giving her all these thumbs up (in imitation of that 'lovely" nose of hers)

                    • LuvH8fulChix

                      I think I've fallen in love with OINFGi.

                  • http://www.facebook.com/billgent Bill Gent

                    Lauren you're awesome and very beautiful. Don't let these losers who just like to be asses to people online get to you. Most of us chivers love your pics, keep em coming.

                    • amen

                      AGREED. By far the most classy intelligent Chivette, never shows a lot of skin and always submits classy pics. Love her.

                    • truthserum

                      you're both pathetic and belong in a suicide bombers vagina. I love her pics too (but not when I can't see some ass or tits) she just needs to be taken down a couple of notches.

                • u suck

                  It's because you, presumably a dude, know more about nail landscaping than she does, as a girl. She obviously is not the prissy type or else she would have known the difference, so that really is your fail dude. She wins for not being into that shit.

              • http://www.gfys.org/ owner

                Posts a pic of her ass from the hospital in a skank outfit for the internet and then get pissed when you call her a whore ,i can see the dementia building up already. Delusional slut.

                • its_forge

                  Moron, any woman is going to get pissed if you call her a whore. What are you, fucking braindead? Jesus Christ.

                • wow

                  She was pissed that you asses called Erin a whore. And btw…learn to read. The CHIVE posted a picture of her from Halloween, not the hospital you idiot. She was in the hospital because she is extremely ill.

                  You are a fucking retard.

                  • Guesty

                    extremely ill? And how do you know this? From her mind-numbingly idiotic twitter feed, I suppose, cause it doesn't say anything on this site… Please, please everyone stop worshipping her. This is ridiculous. "Chiving from the hospital y'all, please make sure you pay attention to me. Every fucking time a picture of her is shown on this site, this broad can't wait to post. Attention whore. Sit in the hospital and if you are so fucking sick, stop commenting on YOUR OWN FUCKING PICTURES! Chive, do her a favor, don't post anything of her for a week, so the twat can stay off the computer and not post bullshit comments that are actually just another way of saying "LOOK AT ME EVERYONE, OVER HERE, LOOK AT ME"

                    • Ice Cylinder

                      Saw the police and they trolled right past me.

                    • http://www.gfys.org/ win

                      Comment of the day but the sad part is the fanboys will just ignore this comment and the delusional whore will act as if nothing happened and continue whoring coz she cant handle the truth.

                    • truthserum

                      Guesty! – i didn't know you were posting on this one as well! I was just sticking on that original one with a ton of comments and the sad one where the guy told erin that he loves her smile or some dumb shit like that.

                      Yuor comment above is epic and deserves to be tatooed all over LG's supple ass for which, if reposted, can give us all a great satisfaction

              • truthserum

                WOW – minus 10 for you!

    • eatit

      shitty drawing

      • http://www.facebook.com/codealpha Terry Burke

        i knew someone would say it… good thing it wasn't drawn for you and the person it was drawn for got why i did it and likes it

  • sheoncebelieved

    Butterflies are precious #3

    • MikeOmment


    • Nick

      so is that ass!

    • ballstein

      I love a big, juicy butterfly.

    • http://twitter.com/ABQLifer @ABQLifer

      OMG…..a Danaus plexippus! WIN

  • KCJake

    #9 is hotter than hell to look at too.

    • KCJake

      Oh, and #45…awesome.

    • Crap Pants

      She has Man Hands…. gross!

      • Jak

        And it looks to be a KIA…no thanks!

    • spydermonkey

      Is it just me or does it look like that left arm could use a shave? Not gonna lie, looks like she's got some man arms/hands. Seriously, this could be a dude.

      • Mike

        I wouldn't mind inspecting for grooming issues.Very thoroughly btw

      • its_forge

        Ya know, the incredible amount of concern some people on this site have for whether or not a woman has "man hands" or "hairy arms" or God knows what other things they come up with, really just boggles my mind. That is a woman. She has spectacular tits and pretty legs. She might have strong sinewy arms. SO WHAT.

        • spydermonkey

          So what you're saying is…you have man hands too? Great ass, great tits, great legs, great smile, fucking rocket scientist…I don't give a shit, man hands are a deal breaker. Keep your damn man hands off of me!

          • Quam


            • OINFGi


        • really

          Goddamn man, I know you are an old fat dude who can't do any better but some of us can afford to be picky. STFU!

          • its_forge

            ::sigh:: Forty-nine, five foot ten and two hundred five pounds – of bone and gristle, *not* fat. My wife could have been Miss Venezuela if she'd wanted, or at least a contender, and I've had some of the most stupefrickingly hot women you could possibly imagine. Tell us how you can "afford to be picky – " you mean, among photos of women you'll never meet?

            • CarolinaBred

              You're old.

            • LuvH8fulChix

              Tell me more about yourself, its like a auto-biographical love poem. Too many people are too hard on themselves these days.

    • Bdrizzle

      The wet look on a tan woman is always hotter than hell

      • imconfused

        More like the wet look on a TRAN woman…

    • TCBB123789

      I bet that all of who will be spanking one out tonight will be wishing those hand wrapped around your brains, but it will just be you, building up that one arm.

      • OIDNi

        shut the fuck up virgin. you don't speak for all of us(at least those of us who actually know what a tit feels like).

  • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

    About the 'anniversary shirt' contest John mentioned FIRST in yesterday's DAR (the contest I naturally won with the '10 Chive classics' even though that was really bad for my IntenseDebate score):

    It's not going to happen. Why? Well, imagine John calling the couple telling them the assignment:

    John__: "Just one more thing, the winning assignment came from… Paula."
    Couple: "…"
    John__: "Hello? You still there?"
    Couple: "Tell you what John, why don't you take the shirt out of the wrapping, soak it with water, roll it up and put it in the freezer for a few hours."
    John__: "Uhhh… why would I do that??"

    – Yeah I repost too, wasn't sure I'd be around when DAR goes up, so what?

    • Dr_Zoidberrg

      tits or GTFO

      • Ryan

        Please don't encourage Paula to show its tits.

    • http://thechive.com/ GernBlansten

      Paula, I want to do things to you that would make eye contact afterwards uncomfortable.

      Very uncomfortable.

      • http://www.facebook.com/ranDgallegos Randy Gallegos

        hahaha only made better by your avatar.

      • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

        Go ahead, make my day.

        – "Paula is to Chivettes as DAR man is to awesome…"
        — LG – twitpic.com/5q3g21

    • Too Much Already

      Fuuuuuuuuuuck I hate you

  • lando


    "Would you like some parmesan cheese on your ravioli, sir?"

    "Yes, I'll take some Jimmy Hendricks, All Along the Watchtower"

    • Herb

      It's Jimi Not Jimmy

      Respect the classics, man.

      • its_forge

        And it's Hendrix, not Hendricks.

    • dub

      I thought it was a sponge.

      • LuvH8fulChix

        Shredded sponges are delicous.

    • sankyd

      it's "Hendrix."

    • Captain Obvious

      This should help you remember how to spell it in the future:
      Hendrix = guitar god
      Hendricks = redhead goddess

      • drew

        ….and Dylan = original composer of that song.

        • Pinksky

          ….and Dylan=Woodie Guthrie knock-off.

          • jaynecobb

            Jimmy Page ruler of the Guitar Gods

            • its_forge

              They had some great tracks but they were really all just a bunch of hacks. Derek Trucks could beat Page in a guitar duel with one hand tied behind his back. On the other hand Bonham was very much a god.

    • http://www.myspace.com/theamericanmaniacs BentWrenches

      That dude is shreddin'

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001603828333 Little Bit

      I paid $21.87 for an iPad 2 32-GB and my girlfriend loves her Panasonic Lumix GF 1 Camera that we got for $ 38.76 there arriving tomorrow by UPS. I will never pay such expensive retail prices in stores again. Especially when I also sold a 40 inch LED TV to my boss for $ 657 which only cost me $ 62.81 to buy. Here is the website we use to get it al from, http://to.ly/aUxz

      • Joey

        I wish your mother would have swallowed you …

  • Billy

    Hi Chive,

    You're Neato.


    • jasgat

      Hi Billy,

      You're a dildo.


  • James Penner

    Those dogs are almost as cute as Cody Petrie!


    James Penner

  • gromtown

    #49 i want to dive right in that thing

    • MikeOmment

      Want to comment…mind suddenly fuzzy

    • sheoncebelieved

      I was thinking that too, but people got tired of hearing that from me

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1143842439 John Dickson


    • ilovethechive

      #49 FTMFW For Sure!! AMazing!!

      • http://www.facebook.com/PatrickBlair1 Patrick Blair

        o.O umm wow. that is ridiculously hot. I would suck a fart out of her ass like a bong rip and just hold it.

        • Salute My Shorts

          Dude. Seriously.

        • OGMrWhite

          you just defiled two of the three best things in the world, hot girls and weed

          • Red

            weed's for pussies.

            • http://thechive.com/ GernBlansten

              Drink up jackass

    • Cog

      If you look closely you can see lips!

      • Biggus Diccus

        Oh I saw them!

    • Nick

      I heard angels singing when I first saw this pic. Perfect.

    • max-pow

      this ass needs to be found…. we all REALLY need to see moar of it!!

    • SeaBassEX

      I totally forgot what I was supposed to be doing . . . . just going to stare and smile blissfully.

    • http://www.facebook.com/zebulonmiller Zebulon Miller

      Speechless… I couldn't think of anything either clever or convincing to say…

    • MannyD

      Please sir…i'd like some more

    • Old Person

      Semper Fi! At least it looks like an Eagle, Globe and Anchor tattoo.

    • O.o

      Just made my day…

    • HUH?

      ive said it before….. " want to touch the hiney….."

    • http://facebook.com/daaneskjold Chazz_B

      amen brother

      • specv44

        CHIVETTE MATERIAL!!!!! At least from the back, I would put her right up there with LG. If her front matches, you need to get this girl in The Chive office, ASAP!

    • Tomas

      Grazziella is her name. From Crazy Tangas.

      • http://www.facebook.com/ranDgallegos Randy Gallegos

        after some googling you are right…

      • http://www.facebook.com/ranDgallegos Randy Gallegos
        • JDub

          You sir, are awesome… although now everything I wanted to accomplish this morning has been put on hold I feel like it was worth it….

    • colombianchiver

      the best end of DAR everrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

    • http://thechive.com/ GernBlansten

      It begs for a redefinition of motoboating

    • http://www.facebook.com/xcuppycakexprincessx Rebecca Salas

      AGREED!!! πŸ™‚

  • oX_Animal_Xo

    #3 is artistically gapped! Photographer did her justice!

    • http://thechive.com/ Turduckenn

      this has nothing to do with anything but its funny as hell and i think its worth watching

  • OGMrWhite


    best self serve ever

    • Graham

      Why herrooooo there. Would you like help pumping your gas?!

      • Fuzzy_wuzzy_buzzing

        hahah, ,,nice one. ..but i think its more like 'Would you like help pumping your ass?!'

        • http://www.thechive.com GreyGhost9

          Look shes presenting

  • Token Black Chiver

    #13 Lucky Number

    • Daith_Lee

      You know how I know you're not a "black" cause you comment on that pic when we all know a brotha can't get enough of dat azz and these two KILL that one by a longshot, lol….pfft…lucky number indeed.

      #49 #26

      • Çreep

        #13 look closer my friend, it's an underbutt shot showing a hint of ninja boot that does it for me, but i do agree with you both #49 has the same shit goin on and im liking it too.

        • Daith_Lee

          Ahhhhh….I sir, now see your point….I was not fully paying attention and the ninja foot snuck by (pun intended)…Thank you for bringing that to my attention, lol…..lets face it, all three would get it. πŸ™‚

  • sheoncebelieved

    #7 are you paying attention Paula?

    • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

      No actually, some of those looters came in to my cave so I immediately offered them a free drink. Just finished tying them up, will have fun for weeks!

      – "Paula is to Chivettes as DAR man is to awesome…"
      — LG – twitpic.com/5q3g21

  • Kaars

    #43… Read my mind…

    • casper

      i cant remember the movie this was from

      can somebody reply plzz?

      • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

        Super Troopers, great movie.

        – "Paula is to Chivettes as DAR man is to awesome…"
        — LG – twitpic.com/5q3g21

  • Dimeone86

    #7 challenge accepted

  • Intensemasterdebater

    #31 There goes the neighborhood…

    • http://www.myspace.com/theamericanmaniacs BentWrenches

      No shit,They will never leave now.

    • Paul

      Yeah that is a bad idea dude. Haven't you seen "The Great Outdoors"?

      • Mito

        "You know what they make hot dogs out of?"

        • Cletus

          Raccoons and whatnot?

    • Kevin

      Piss those guys off with no food and those nails will tear you apart.

    • sidewinder86

      Very sweet. Have them as pets.

  • Shawn

    #25 HOT GAP!!!

  • Captlazarus

    #31 two words, Ball Rabies

    • Bill57

      worst thing you can do is feed them

      • ROK247

        they will never go away

        • ChairmanMeowz

          Then it looks like I have a few new friends.

          • spydermonkey

            Just be careful of the ball rabies man. They probably don't have a momma no more if they're bothering you and are that tame.

          • ROK247

            they will get much bigger. and cranky. and bring all their friends.

            • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000681927439 Kyle Shubert

              "and bring all their friends." <— This being the worst part.

              • thatsa

                and their bossman the bear.

                • STZA

                  who will tear your ass apart. with his hands tied behind his back. if you know what i mean.

  • Jeffrey Lebowski

    #35 Kinda reminiscent of a pre-crazy, young Britney Spears?

    • jjj

      only difference is #35 is smoking hot

      • Jeffrey Lebowski

        Hotter for sure…but there is some resemblance in my mind…and we do need to give credit where credit is due…early, pre-crazy, pre-kids britney was pretty hot. But #35 still beats her by a wide margin.

  • Bill57

    #1 is the weirdest thing I have seen in a long time and #35 is beautiful

    • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

      #1 Shopped, obviously, came from here: http://photoshoplooter.tumblr.com/

      – "Paula is to Chivettes as DAR man is to awesome…"
      — LG – twitpic.com/5q3g21

      • Cletus

        well the chick is still hot, paula,

  • MikeOmment

    #30 Well done!

    • MikeOmment

      #27 …and well done to you, too, mister donkey

      • hMMMM

        clearly a horse…

    • dub

      That was fantastic!

    • Captain Obvious

      Stealing a car…you're doing it wrong.

      • http://www.youtube.com/user/ADHDavenger13?feature=mhsn Firefighter23

        Dude its a mule. You should have said Mexican Car or the politically incorrect El Auto Mexicano.

    • London

      Is that linebacker wearing a "keep calm and chive on" tee?

      • thatsa

        horrible breakdown tho.

  • Donny


    Met Erin at the meetup. Absolutely one of the funniest and nicest girls I've met in a while.

    • Steve&Anna

      agree, my gf and I both introduced ourselves and she was cracking us up. After she left my girlfriend said, 'funny and sweet. know what's worse? she wasn't wearing a stitch of makeup either'

      • Arthur

        dunno why your getting thumbed down, buddy. I guess people don't like finding out the personality behind the beautiful girl is genuine. u have my thumb at any rate

      • BOCO_Kid

        I click the thumb down by mistake on this. Meant for a Thumbs Up! Since Erin is cool shit!

      • Guesty

        yeah, and she would rather have a conversation with Paula. HA!

    • http://twitter.com/mazlow01 @mazlow01

      Erin is all kinds of awesome.

    • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

      Victoria's Secret, right?

      – "Paula is to Chivettes as DAR man is to awesome…"
      — LG – twitpic.com/5q3g21

      • http://twitter.com/erinwillett @erinwillett

        You shop there too!? I didn't know they had troll sizes!

        • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

          Nah, I read your Tweet πŸ™‚
          ❀ though!

          – "Paula is to Chivettes as DAR man is to awesome…"
          — LG – twitpic.com/5q3g21

          • http://twitter.com/erinwillett @erinwillett

            You troll my twitter too?! You're like super troll extraordinaire….

            …how do you block people on twitter? πŸ˜›

            • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

              I'm following you.
              You can't block trolls dear. Instead, why don't you return the love? paulachive

              – the one you love to hate

        • @erinwillett

          Shut up whore.

          • http://twitter.com/soy_LG @soy_LG

            Do NOT call her a whore. You wouldn't know a high class person even if they were standing right in front of you. You aren't funny, you aren't witty or clever, and the only thing good that's going to come out of you being rude and juvenile towards others is that karma is going to royally bite you in the ass as a result.

            • SFDOi

              you shut the fuck up too. skank.

              • http://twitter.com/soy_LG @soy_LG

                You see the thing is, this shit doesn't affect ME in any way. You can call me a whore, skank, bitch, ass, cunt, ho, hooker, slut…I don't give a flying fuck what you pathetic pieces of shit think. I love myself, I am confident with my life, and I'm a stable human being who has long learned who is decent and who is not in life.The only reason why I even spend my valuable time replying back to you worthless shit heads, sitting behind the cloak of anonymity, spewing bullshit from your sad-excuse-of-an-existence lives, is because (1) I have thought that maybe having a dialogue would help YOU people out and (2) because there is no excuse for being cruel towards complete strangers and that it WILL fuck you up in the end…and it will.

                Say whatever the fuck you want to say about me because I'm a strong person who can handle petty immature remarks, but don't you DARE spew your crap to people who have never even had so much as a word with you.

                If there is a hell, this is the reason.

                • EdWood

                  Nailed it, Lady !!!!!

                • Hand of Fate

                  Yeah, I had to deal with this crap when my wife and I shared some of her pictures. It's both disheartening and yet slightly amusing at the same time once you realize that most of the hatred is from jealousy or anger at the girls because they think someone like that would never talk to a guy like them in real life…

                  Yet most of the girls are actually very cool and probably would be nice to them if they ever met in person (assuming they didn't know they were dickish online trolls…), but in their insecurity they'll never believe that.

                  Haters gonna hate. Chivers gonna Chive.

                  Chive on, LG!

                  • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

                    It's pretty simple. For every handful of lovers there will always be a hater. The haters happen to be far more noisy in forums etc so the lovers (appreciating in silence) get snowed under. They're still there though.
                    Props for sharing personal pics like Lauren ( ❀ ) and your wife
                    (B)) do.

                    – what the hell did I just write??

                • Truthserum

                  Maybe it doesn't 'affect' you – but remember that you were just lucky to be born good-looking – that's why you were likely 'popular' in high school, blew a few of the more popular jocks at random parties than your average high school slut, and have people laugh at your average jokes (or thumbs up you for mediocre observations you make on The Chive) – if you were walking along the street one day, in one of your slutty little numbers and a large gust of wind caused some large object to fly off of a building and whap you in the face – ruining a fairly hot face, you would be surprised how so much of the admiration you think you've earned because you're just such an amazing person would suddenly disappear faster than your panties at a Chive meet-up.

                  Before the Chive you were just a random hot girl – now you're still a random hot girl with a few more admirers, that's all.

                  Don't ever get fat and try not to age. But, even if you do – because of you're so confident and stable I'm sure you'll do just fine. :*

                  • Fin Fang Foom

                    "have people laugh at your average jokes (or thumbs up you for mediocre observations you make on The Chive)"

                    THANK YOU. i've literally seen people make the same exact comments as her(even before her) and only get a fraction of the thumbs up she gets. it's like high-school age bullshit all over again.

                    • 123itschive

                      dont know how you're getting negative thumbs on this one…its a sad mad world

                  • http://twitter.com/soy_LG @soy_LG

                    I wasn't popular in high school (I was a member of Mu Alpha Theta, Model United Nations, a programming club, and anime club), I only had one boyfriend in high school who weighed 200lbs and was 5'3" whom I was engaged to after 5 years of dating, I have never had people support me for anything less than my willingness to listen and communicate with them, and I don't wear anything skimpy in public because I work for the government and because I don't like dressing in such a way. You are wrong on all accounts and I'm sorry that you have so many false assumptions about 'attractive' people.

                    I am not contesting that my looks may not get me some attention, from certain people, but what I'm contesting is that just because a girl or guy is attractive does NOT mean that ANYONE has any right to attack her or him without first knowing that person's personality and demeanor. You can be sexual person, being 100% committed, be attractive, be voyeuristic and take pictures of yourself for some excitement, but that DOESN'T warrant the name-calling without actually KNOWING the person on a less than superficial level. He has NO right to call Erin a whore, or Dylan a horse, or any other Chivette or random stranger ANYTHING …just because he feels entitled because he or she may be good looking.

                    And theChive has in no way effected my life. If anything it's been more of a black mark on my record. I was a good person before this website 'found me' and I'm just as good of a person now. 'Fans' don't make a difference to me, it's the FRIENDS in this community that I care about. That's why I continue being active.

                    And physical problems? I had childhood leukemia and I know all about that so don't even TALK to me about deformities. I loved myself then, without my hair and while being ill constantly and fragile, and I fully anticipate aging and gaining some weight as women typically get more beautiful and unique with age… so if anything I'll be even more content as time progresses.

                    Don't assume. You know the saying, I'm sure.

                    • http://twitter.com/erinwillett @erinwillett

                      Don't sweat the small stuff LG πŸ™‚

                    • Hand of Fate

                      You're better off not engaging them. Or really him. There is like 1, maybe two of them who just switch handles all the time. Erin has the right of it.

                      I generally try to talk to people to hash out differences too, even tried it on here, and trust me it just doesn't work. It's just meat for the beast because the one or two people think that if you took the time to respond to them, that must mean they are getting under your skin in their mind.

                      But a person who has a problem with girls sharing pictures of themselves, as if the female form shouldn't be appreciated for some reason, they probably have deeper issues involving their self-esteem and sexuality they need to address or be pitied for anyway. After all, a good looking girl just MUST be a slut, and probably stuck up, with nothing else going on for her…

                      I'm not sure I get the point though to begin with. Why the rant if this doesn't bother Truthserum so much? Yes attractive people get more attention. They also tend to be more well liked, get paid more, and wind up with other attractive people, but that doesn't mean their looks are their only defining characteristic.

                      Why u mad bro? You just don't like the way of the world? Or would you rather be on a site where average looking girls dress modestly and don't share shots of themselves, and don't chat with other people so they don't seem like they need the attention?

                    • truthserum

                      Hand of Faith – you are TOTALLY the male version of LG – which makes me love you all the more. You 'hsah' things out with people, have a good grasp on the definition of who should be in Playboy and who in Swank (both have breat artciles btw) and obviously know how to really 'talk' to trolls such as myself (while making you look even more amazing than you already apparently are)

                      And if you ever insinuate that I may be a homosexual I'll shove my big old dick so far up that hairy ass of yours that people will point at you and scream, "Look! A fountain of Jizz!" and if you're (or we're because I will be buttfucking you) lucky they will throw some wish coins at us.

                      Now get back to banging that 'model' wife you claim you have before she wakes up and sees all the other eligible Chivers on here.

                    • truthserum

                      Forgive all the spelling errors – its hard to do Nuclear Physics AND write Chivey comments at the same time (while my HOT boss Direcotr Chastity Erikson of NASA is trying to convince me to let her give me a blump – blowjob while taking a shit)

                      That's enough for today. Bye bye now!

                    • a friend

                      You realize she was defening your ass, right?

                    • Truthserum

                      I was wrong. I just hate what I am really.

                      I think tonight instead of drowning my sorrows in my Doritos bag and playing some WoW – I might just dress up my moms cat and finally go on a real date like I hear all the Chive people I hate talk about.

                      Forgive me that my life is so pitiful that i must push my feelings of inadequacy onto anyone i can just so I can for a second feel like I am not the little piece of shit I really know I am.

                    • Truthserum

                      Ah fake Truthserum – aren't you a clever girl…..

                      Chive up!

                      PS- Although Lauren (or LG as she's known on here) may have had childhood leukaemia, I just got diabetes from banging your mom because she is soooooooooo sweet!

                      PPS- I never said LG wasn't hot – which is all you guys (and carpet-munchers) care about – I just wanted to inject a bit of truth onto what was a cool little website until all you hornballs started making false idols!


                    • Truthserum

                      By the way – can't you both just take some normal pictures? Like of you guys smiling or with friends? Is your self-esteem so low that you have to resort to taking so many self-shots of your beautiful selves?

                      BTW if you have any 'dirty' self shots please post and I will go against my god grain and give you a thumbs up. :*

                    • what?

                      LG has taken normal pics you idiot. Most of her pictures are her clothed holding a funny sign for theChive, smiling. The Chivettes are chivettes because they take pictures FOR theChive, meaning that submitting pictures with friends and stuff won't cut it.

                      You really have problems dude. I feel sorry for people like you.

                    • mipo2010

                      LG, someone apparently got the trolls wet because they are multiplying like gremlins. It's summer vaca so their mom's aren't there to monitor their juvenile activities.

                    • Truthserum

                      See, this is what I mean! Half the Chivers are likely super cool and the other half are these weirdos who delude themselves into believing that they're actually speaking to these net-chicks (who by law can only pose in their panties or make their presently sweet asses flop and jiggle in nice little gifs for we horny fellows while decent women don't feel the desperate need to do so). And these hardcore Chivers, with their own little Avatars (using their REAL faces no less!?!) do so by casually throwing in these little nicknames, like since they make it personal by saying crap like, "You said it LG!", or that awful one below by some sad soul who said "Dear Erin, you make me smile everytime" (what?!!?) or this strange half man/half soda machine standing off a highway (no doubt waiting for a trucker to give him a 'ride'?) mipo2010 just said above about 'wet trolls' (I assume he means me?) that he and 'LG' (Loose Goose?) are really friends. It's sad sad sad!

                      To hell with you Chivers who thumbs-up these girls for doing nothing but looking pretty (or just pasting a fake Avatar that contains a hot girl – "sheoncebelieved" I am looking at you!) – you keep on pretending you are part of a 'real little community', with kinda hot girls talking with you (LG may have gotten her childhood leukaemia corrected but she should've asked the docs to fix her nose at the same time! – GREAT ass nonetheless) and I will go back under my bridge and continue to grumble and groan and feel sorry for you guys (and lesbians who make comments)

                      The other half of the Chivers who don't participate in this twat-show are awesome and the significant majority of Chivettes who show what they have once or twice and are greeted with the praise they deserve rock as well.

                      Chive up and Godspeed!

                      PS- Mipo2010 – I'm 31 so I no longer have summer "vaca" (I thought it was vacay?) but my mom still monitors my juvenile activities because she's caught me fapping to 'LG' (we're friends too!) one too many times – and on her computer no less! I need to move out!

                    • truth

                      Very well said.

                    • thatsa

                      whats supposed to be cool about the chive…common sense. Majority of these replies are lacking it… of course hot girls get….whatever…who cares. Chive On!

                    • Hand of Fate

                      tl; dr

                    • b-ry


                    • b-ry sucks cock

                      How is that a win in any way? She was defening another Chivette you idiot.

                    • Spellechecker

                      Did you mean "defending" you silly boy?

                    • Bluto

                      SpellEchecker? Irony…

                    • http://www.facebook.com/codealpha Terry Burke

                      and for the win… LG!

                    • http://www.gfys.org/ iv had enuf

                      You seem to be getting more delusional day by day. Why the fuck do you get so worked up over the negative comments ? Do you expect every guy to worship you and go ga ga over ur skank pics ? Not all of us are desperate losers who go mad over random whores showing their ass/tits to us. Stop feeling invincible/cool/wanted just bcoz the nerds here support you coz that doesnt count in the real world. Now stop ur yapping and keep submitting the pics if you want to provide fap material to the chivers coz thats the ONLY reason they like you.

                      P.S- Dont bother replying coz ur just gonna act like a retarded bitch sitting on her throne.

                    • STFU

                      You are probably the dumbest person on this site. She was sticking up for other Chivettes, not herself. Get over yourself and learn to read and think before you open that cock sucking mouth of yours.

                      I've never seen a picture of Lauren showing her tits or ass in anything but a bikini or boy shorts, so you obviously have got the wrong chick. She's the one that has pictures of her clothed with a funny sign. Far from being a whore bucko.

                    • b-ry

                      settle…its clearly bothering you….

                    • you are an idiot

                      It bothers her that people are bashing on Chivettes. That's what she said fuckface. She was sticking up for Erin, retard.

                    • theChive

                      Major props to you for everything. For being a classy lass who doesn't expose herself like the other girls do on here (bikinis and granny panties don't count you idiot trolls), for being intelligent and defending other girls, for even trying to help these pathetic people take a lesson in respect and decency.

                      I like you because you don't show your nooks and crannies and because you are a natural, genuine, friendly and open person. I don't fap to your pics, I generally laugh with them because you actually get creative with your signs.

                      Mad respect LG.

                    • Guesty

                      Hey, keep it up, I think she is ready to ask you on a date now….

                    • Guestyrules


                    • Guesty

                      HaHa!!!! See i really have friends!!! Wanna have a sleep over Guestyrules?

                      I told you Chivers people like me!

                      I can't wait to run upstairs and tell mom!

                      Oh wait i just realized i am just replying to my own message

                      Forever alone.

                    • Guesty

                      I see I have a stalker. Guessing balding middle-aged man that can't view girls without an i.p. address. Keep up the good work you do in life bud!

                    • truthserum

                      real GUesty – the fucker above tricked me. I apologize, I accidentally gave him a thumbs-up thinking you were insulting yourself for shits and giggles. =/

                    • Guesty

                      Nah, but his original idea of making lame grade school posts and meme references when he can't think of anything and using other ID's to do it most certainly deserves the thumbs up. I think I am done with this guy, only because it is like tipping over a wheelchair… fun for a second, then you feel bad cause they are completely hopeless….

                    • http://www.gfys.org/ geezus

                      Aaah more fanboys who pray everyday that they land a date with a chivette/whore ,keep worshipping and maybe it`ll happen one day losers.

                • Lotus

                  Lauren, you're eating up the bait, I thought you were smarter than this.

                  • Raunchy The 1st

                    Really? I didn't.

                    • Opanga

                      I didn't either, That chick is annoying.

                    • Opanga

                      Actually, I guess I kinda feel for LG… It must kinda suck to know that people only talk to you because they want to fuck you and nut on your face….Damn it feels good to be a guy.

                    • Danielle

                      I just LMAO'ed at work….(I also work for the government like LG does – by day I am a mild-mannered translator but by night I also remove my clothes for horny eyes….what am I? That's right, a poorly paid escort!"

                • hip hop anonymous

                  two snaps and a circle LG

                  • truthserum

                    You're either a chunky white chick who acts black (and is thus 10 times more likely to get pregnant and appear on Maury Povich), or you're a fat black chick who always has to purchase larger and larger hoop earrings to hold her ever growing cankles in place while some stranger gets his $4 worth.

                    Which is it?

                    • Guesty


                • http://www.gfys.org/ u r delusional

                  Cool story whore ,now go back to dressing up like a slut for ur loser bf and submit more semi naked pics for the chivers to fap too.

                  • what?

                    She has never submitted any pictures even close to naked, but a guy can dream. It's always a shirt + panties or a bikini.

                • yes it does

                  it clearly bothers you if you respond with paragraphs…just sayin'

                  • read

                    Read much? It bothers her that people call other Chivettes whores and skanks. She stated she can handle it and she obviously does pretty well. She was defending Erin and the other girls on here that have to deal with these fuckers.

                    • Guesty

                      Having admins block i.p. addresses is not "handling it"

                    • a friend

                      The admins don't block IP addresses. That's impossible idiot. It's WordPress. Things don't work that way. They can view them, yea, but they don't block shit on here otherwise your pathetic fucked ass would be blocked.

                    • Guesty

                      Ahhh, you "LG's" friend. You are a worthless piece of trash that sticks up for a stranger that sends pics into websites for attention…. Keep up the good fight, forever alone

                    • Guesty

                      Doesn't it make sense to you- I mean haven't you been reading all my comments? I hate the Chive and all the bullshit chivers and for sure those whore Chivettes! (I mean seriously – I can not stand the idea of a empowered sexy female showing her pride in her sexuality! I want everyone in burkas! )

                      I just hate them so much that I have to comment on every post and use my 3 computers to thumb my own comments all so I can hopefully make your day miserable. I live for this!!!! I cant stop. I have nothing else in my life – no friends, definitely no girlfriend, nothing at all – all I have is spewing my frustration of my loser life onto you.

                      oh wait….

                    • Guesty

                      Yeah, first of all, I would never say "I mean seriously", you would, which makes you a fag. Second, I don't steal other people's names on here, I use the same one, so that makes you pathetic. So far, you are a pathetic faggot. Third, I only use this name, I don't have but 1 computer, it is just that people with any kind of intelligence agree with me, while fanboy pathetic faggots like yourself need a sfw site to beat off too, just in case your care-taker at the home your parents put you in when you were born because you were "different" checks your internet history. But please, keep up the good work. As they say, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

                    • truthserum

                      I keep getting some angry little Chives imitating my good name as well – but isn't it just the same as if you insulted a person, and the person just tried to imitate your voice back to you? Pathetic, but still they try! Or it's like when Pee Wee Herman would say "I know you are but what am I?" over and over again.

                      Anyways, keep it honest Guesty – there are only a few of us out here in Chiveland who have but one computer against many who have several computers and lots of time between faps.

                      Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go bang my model identical twin wives (who both battled and beat ebola virus by the way) before they have to return to their jobs at the CIA and I back to my moms basement (where Hand of Fate and I hang out when we're not flipping burgers at White Castle).

                    • Guesty

                      Epic! It really is sad to see all these fuckers acting like they do, believing that they are fighting the "good fight" for people they do not know and wouldn't piss on them to put them out if they were on fire. Psychophants, gotta love em. Yes, mom's basement isn't what it used to be, but hey, free rent, right? Tell the twins I said hi, and I think I have the late night shift tomorrow at the Castle, so maybe see you there?

                    • truthserum

                      You KNOW it man! I will bring the twins hot lesbian moms, they want to say "hi" to their favorite chiver and thank him for all his humor, honesty, and Chiveworthy insults.

                      Chive up!

                      PS- I had an idea on break today (I sat at Burger King because I wanted some fresh air) and thought that if LG truly did date a super fat guy (who almost locked that shit down!) than maybe The chive should have a contest to find this lost tub of lard and have people donate $$$ for her to find him again…or at the very least have a look-a-like contest so LG can have her true love AND a chiver at the same time.

                    • Guesty

                      See, now why don't they pay you. Of course, with all of these "Chivers", she'll have her choice amongst thousands and thousands of fat, pigly, underachieving Chiver men to pick from. And from her posts, she is obviously dumber than a box of rocks, so her head would literally explode. Which, if we tape, we can put the video on the front page of the site and would rank in bank!
                      See, they ought to hire you, I'm telling you.

                    • http://www.gfys.org/ hell yeah

                      We need more people like you 2 here ,its tough fighting the fanboys/whoreworshipers alone.

                    • truthserum

                      We are goin gto meet up at a strip club and have the featured chiettes give us lap dances (but I will insist they wear dental dams for our safety and the other patrons of the fine upscale establishment we go to.

                      And we won't charge admission.

                    • Raunchy The 1st

                      I'm happy to lend help as well.

                    • its true

                      testing…i wonder how short we can get this comment thread

                    • truthserum

                      too funny…I've got to get back to work – this has been terribly amusing and uplifting knowing that there are a few cool guys out there (you too "hell YEah"

              • lolling


              • Obama

                That girl is the last thing from a skank. You've got the wrong Chivette idiot.

            • lolling


            • Red

              "good that's going to come out of you being rude and juvenile towards others is that karma is going to royally bite you in the ass as a result."

              tell that to Donald Trump.

            • Guesty

              Shut up whore

          • SFDOi


          • Someone else's name

            I can't figure out who said "shut up whore" or who they said it to. It looks like it's Erin (no pic) replying to Erin (w/pic). Am I seeing that right?

        • caleb

          and BOOM goes the dynamite!

    • dub

      I did not meet you, Erin. You may never have the pleasure, but I hope you take some comfort in knowing that I like your upside-down-heart-shaped rear.

    • Hand of Fate

      And here it was said she didn't show her hump enough…

      Nice picture Erin!

      • Makes No Excuses

        I met Erin as well….. shes absolutely gorgeous…. a real stunner

        • its true

          numbah one stunna!! what what what what!

  • Brother Maynard

    #5 Is she in a "padded room"?

    • mith

      it's padded for her protection.

    • V_J

      Liam Neeson is on his way.

      • https://www.facebook.com/matthewtprice Matthew Price

        Now, the next part is very important. They're going to take you.

        • Kyle

          lol nice reference.

    • its_forge

      She's in a room that could use some wall treatment.

  • killa

    The things I would do…

    • davidmrichards

      …quietly in the corner until she woke up

    • him

      to your hand?

    • OzChiver

      I just finished doing what you would do….Twice.

    • OzChiver

      Because I'm a pathetic virgin who doesn't know how to get laid.

    • KaptainKha0s

      This is the stuff that makes wood just a little harder and why all men want sex in the morning!

  • https://www.facebook.com/mrkplayer Mark Player

    #45 Dear Erin, You make me smile every time.

    • DWD

      Don't listen to him, he's a player.

      • hater

        13 year olds aren't players

    • Honkie

      Dear Erin, You make me want to throw up in my mouth a little bit.

      • http://www.facebook.com/codealpha Terry Burke

        go fuck a goat

        • Honkie

          sorry, i'm not taking your recommendation.

        • Terrysfather

          Don't use your real name TERRY for Gods sake! Next time, sign in as Berry Turke okay? That sounds like a delicious Scandinavian dessert with nuts and jello.

          • Honkie

            hahaha, hilarious.

          • http://www.facebook.com/codealpha Terry Burke

            i'll give you that, cuz i' ve been called turkish delight before

    • grrregg

      AMEN to that. Thank you, Erin.

    • http://www.gfys.org/ owner

      Another one of chives premium whore. Skank on !

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