Daily Afternoon Randomness (49 Photos)

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  • orly

    #47, #48, #49

    I know just how they feel

    • First Time Caller

      When I see #46 followed by #47….makes me wonder if the Chive is posting same dude's ass just to fuck with us

      • ROK247

        i don't think those britches fit quite right

      • DONK

        tan lines. doubt a guy wears that sort of swim wear. you can resume your fapping, unhindered.

        • itsmebaby

          bwahahaha I bet the kind of guy who would take a picture like that is the same kind of guy who would have thong tan lines….gays love tanning beds

    • Troll The Intern

      Horny?

      • snowbird

        More thirsty

    • jimbo

      #47 accidentally comes one

      AH.. don't look bobby…

      bit.ly/nzfN4I

  • zman

    #14 that is the worst case of dyslexia I have ever seen

    • texass

      it's funny because the text is clearly a font.

    • The Ruiner

      stupid

    • dub

      I would have known she was blonde if her hair weren't in the picture.

    • Robert

      In Morbo's voice, from Futurama, "THAT IS NOT HOW DYSLEXIA WORKS!"

    • droopaloop

      I tried to read it by looking at the back of my monitor… didn't work.

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=514615429 Pat Overton

        Yours did as well sir. Kudos!

    • there is no dog

      .uoy tsuj s'ti ebyaM

      • jimbo

        how you did dat?

      • http://gypsy-whisperer.tumblr.com Bella

        Along with your username, that is brilliant.

    • dhost78

      Regardless….Happy Birthday!

    • http://www.myspace.com/theamericanmaniacs BentWrenches

      Umm, I think she just trolled all of you.

      • Ha.Ha.

        no…she didn't.

    • nichoelb

      theChive flipped my pic…the "Chive On" on my hand is way more important than the text…but seriously I don't even care…I made DAR!!! Thank you Chive!

      • harry

        Burn your bra and happy birthday

        • Del

          Seriously!? She should know better.

    • http://twitter.com/ABQLifer @ABQLifer

      Not hot enough for me to waste time trying to read wardsback…

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=514615429 Pat Overton

      Your comment made me laugh. Well done sir.

    • Sydlexia Man

      Looks fine to me

  • Pokey_McPoke

    #28 Would you like anything else for your birthday? Wink wink…

    • ALC

      Yeah, I would love a day without creepy guys making creepy/douchy comments to me.

      • Hich

        She knew what this was.

    • ROK247

      get your complimentary birthday hot-oil rubdowns here!

    • OwnerOfYou

      And why is she not in her birthday suit?

    • aleXTC

      Damn this girl is gorgeous. #28

      • R2G Fan

        If you can ignore her giant nose…I agree.

        • truthserum

          No, even I – a huge Chive troll who only gets thumbs down agree that this girl is hot all the way, nose fits as good as that tshirt.

        • Dave

          Don't listen to him, your nose is beautiful!

          • Marcelle

            Thanks πŸ™‚

            – The girl in #28

            • tcuchiver

              Happy birthday and my birthday wish is for you to suibmit to sexy chivettes! smoakin

    • Rick

      Make more photos, get own post

    • DAS

      She is beautiful and I would like to DAR the #%$%^ out of her

      • keinbockaufnamessuche

        I would try to convince her that I'm "the one" and after thousands of pathetic attempts to convince her. We finals got together. After 2 month she would be bored and dump me, which would kill me inside.

        Worth it.

  • VedHead77

    #3 – Keep calm and Ch—HOLY SHIT!!!

    • http://www.facebook.com/tylermars.design Tyler Mars

      this pic is a do-it-yourself michael bay kit:
      stunt plane (prolly a transformer): check
      jet powered super truck: check
      gigundo wall of flames: check

      • Ruffestneckaround

        but there's no semi naked chicks

        • Wayne

          …that you can see.

    • http://www.youtube.com/user/ADHDavenger13?feature=mhsn Firefighter23

      America! Fuck yeah!

  • Denise

    #2, #5, #13, #16

    so strange, my behavioral science professor made us break down the themes and undercurrents within the DAR. each day is a little different, but made me realize it's far more than just a collection of pictures. it's a much deeper mind fuck. today is water and babies btw

    • mikey d.

      #15, #17, #46

      holy shit ur right

    • Evan

      #21, #30, #31

      further supporting evidence. yeah, John knows what he's doing

    • hip hop anonymous

      #14 #28

      And B-days

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000065552192 Seth Schueler

      sounds like a valuable skill to gain at school…

      • Brewdy

        Fuck I miss university

    • That Guy

      #2 The 66 Most Overated Women of 2011, 10 Kendra Wilkinson

      Rarely has more been made out of nothing than the career Kendra has carved out for herself. Let’s check her resume, shall we? Playboy model. Reality show (for Playboy). Marry a bad football player who pretty much blew a Super Bowl. Reality show (based on the Playboy reality show). Sex tape. Dancing With The Stars. Sex tape. She even published a memoir of this miraculous journey from nothing to money for nothing. Amazing.

      • Çreep

        cool story bro, stare at her tits.

      • http://www.facebook.com/ranDgallegos Randy Gallegos

        i thumbed you down just for posting it twice.

    • Dan

      you needed college for this? John knows what he's doing and the themes and narrative of the DAR are certainly not random

  • MigraineBoy

    #2 You're doind it wrong…no, right…Now I'm confused.

    • Çreep

      all sexy ladies should drink water this way, she is doin' it way right.

    • Lisa

      I'm pretty sure that's Kendra Wilkinson…"Girls Next Door"/Kendra/tabloids/married to Hank Baskett. She's dumber than a sack of potatoes…probably…hotter than hell for some silicone…but something tells me the whole dumb blonde thing may be an evil plot.

      • Troll The Intern

        She's not all that dumb because chances are she's a lot better off than you, and I bet you think you're pretty smart.

        • Lisa

          Well…financially…she probably is. But that's her life. If she's happy, I'm happy for her. πŸ™‚ If you'll read closer, you'll see that I suspect she's smarter than the television programs portray. Sex sells, and she's making money. πŸ˜‰

          As for my intelligence, well, I'm smart enough to know that fighting on the internet is silly. I hope you enjoy your trolling. I'm going to marinate some steaks & have a glass of wine.

          • hhhhhhh

            go back in the kitchen, and make sure the toilet is clean.bitch.

            • JROC

              solid troll

          • Mr.X

            Burn your bra Lisa

            • hhhhhhh

              and you giant panties. lardass

          • truthserum

            Ignore Troll the Intern – he's a fat moron.

            • Troll The Intern

              * mormon

      • truthserum

        I agree – its Kendra Wilkinson – she is a slut too (like a few of the Chivettes I fap too often)

  • Brother Maynard

    #1 I said jump bitch!

    • Motofoxe

      I +1'd you just because that statue is 15 minutes from here.

    • Wally

      How cool! My hometown on TheChive!

  • Wut

    #2 Should have been taken about ten seconds later…

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000011277967 Adrian Williams

      I know, I wanna see the AFTER shot…

      • Troll The Intern

        Close your eyes. Use that thing you haven't used since before the internet, your imagination.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=39904422 Jon Murden

      should of been a gif..

  • sarcasm

    #4 and doesnt make it on the first page of Chive

    • Gooberman

      ^ resembles that remark…come late with what you believe is a quality comment, sit on page 5…

      • Troll The Intern

        Since it's damn near impossible for anyone with an actual job to make it on the first page, I now wait for all the awful comments to appear on the first page and then rip on them. Keeps me entertained for hours.

        • Gooberman

          thankfully i don't have an "actual" job…sadly i STILL don't get on the first page too often

        • George Costanza

          Well, the Jerk Store called, and they're running out of you.

          • Gooberman

            well played, sir, well played

    • Rad-Balls

      "The jerk store called, and they're running out of you!" -G. Castanza

      • Rad-Balls

        damn. thought I was going to be original… derp

        • The Chivery

          It's not possible to be original. You're a Chiver.

          Chive on!

  • RhodeIslandChiver

    #5 Awesome
    #30 #31 It seems like he's already taken a few
    #47 Burn your belt?

    • thom

      Need a new recurring gallery, per your suggestion, Burn Your Belt.

      • Tally Hoe

        I vote to replace Cat Saturdays with Burn Your Belt

      • Dood

        Yes. The overbutt could become the next underboob.

        • PianoFingers

          NO!

          • funkyf

            Yes!
            Burn your belt! Burn your belt!

        • Ruffestneckaround

          I believe its already termed ass cleavage.

  • Just Because

    LG, I hope you're feeling better. Even though there are some haters here, I am still your fan and I think you are awesome. That is all. Smile!

    • Guesty

      really?

      • Guesty

        ustillmadbro?

    • BOCO Kid

      All True Chivers love LG only trolls don't. So yeah Really assface.

      • Guesty

        But there are more avenues to post this. See, it's numbnuts like you and Just Because that make people like me rip on you. Tweet her, Facebook, anything, but to post such an irrelevent comment on this particular photoblog (DAR) about someone "just because" makes you look extremely stupid. And by the thumbs down on original post, I am not the only one that thinks this. Not even trying to be an asshole, but come on. We get it, you chivers dig Lauren. Fine. But this just has the stench of lonliness and desperation. So, really?

        • Guesty

          Mind you despite my desperate calls for attention and my seething disgust @ the Chive is just my failed attemot at fitting in…

          I cant stand anything here (i mean read all my posts) Yet here I am commenting and following every little post on the Chive – its all I have in this world.

          Well that and my mom.

          Forever alone.

          • Guesty

            Again, if you had the intelligence to read, I didn't mention anything about the chive, you dimwitted baffoon. I was commenting on 2 people's post. And thanks for being such a fan that you read everything I type. Must be kinda lonely for you, huh? And as another commenter said, "Failed attemot(?) at fitting in" coming from the guy that has conversations with himself using 2 different names. Yup, I have a real hard time fitting in.
            So by your logic, I follow every post on the chive, it's all I have in this world. You follow every little comment I make (which you obviously have, as you instruct others to do the same), I am all YOU have in this world. and who is forever alone again?
            Oh, and the mom jokes still aren't funny.

            • Guesty

              soooooooo……………

              URSTILLMADTHENHUHBRO!

            • Guesty

              ps. your mom still sucks too.

        • Troll The Intern

          It's called the DAR, the R in it stands for "Randomness." So, posting an irrelevant comment in the comments section makes perfect sense in this situation, thus rendering your argument invalid.

          Just because you don't appreciate the community here, and don't like Lauren doesn't mean you have to shit on my parade.

          • Guesty

            Keep worshipping then. Like I said, looks horribly desperate. Your call bub. also, community… HA!

            • Guesty

              HA
              High five!!!

              Truthserum? Eh? Anyone? ……..

              aww crap still forever alone.

              • Truthserum

                *high five*

                • KIUed

                  isn't your hand calling you?

                  • truthserum

                    No KIUed, that was fake Truthserum…..open your goddamn eyes! He uses a capital T!

                    Anyways – gotta go to sleep – xoxoxoxoxoxooxxo

        • truthserum

          As Usual Guesty – totally agree. Notice though that we are still receiving thumbs up throughout the day (and likely a lot of thumbs down as well) So chords are definitely being struck.

          I wonder if LG eats her own panties because she obvisouly kweefs candy which makes these child-like Chivers run to her. The guys comment about hoping she feels better? So sad and funny at the same time!

          By the way – your fake Guesty is quite unfunny.

          • Trollcism

            You definitely have a lot of time on your hands to type as many pages, for someone who is not-at-all desperate for attention, as you do.

            While I think you are a tool – and, this coming from a self-proclaimed Chive troll, I see the thinly veiled hope to get a rise out of people. But, even I – asshole that I am – I still find myself compassionate when someone whose banter I enjoy doesn't feel well. These are the basics of human emotion. If you can't even feel that, there is little hope for you, troll or not.

            • truthserum1

              LG?

              • Trollcism

                Nailed it.

                • Trollcism

                  like your mom?

          • truthserum

            fake truthserum is hilarious though.

            Your mom still sucks btw.

            • truthserum

              Fake truthserum is more see through than his skank FATHERS skirts!

              That's right, I went there.

      • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

        HELLOOOOO!!!! I <3<3<3 LG TOO!!!

        Hugs,
        Paula
        – "Paula is to Chivettes as DAR man is to awesome…"
        — LG – twitpic.com/5q3g21

        • Bill57

          no one cares if you do or don't

        • One of the 1st

          Paula – are you/were you also HHnF? I am noticing some similarities.

          • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

            Not now nor ever.

            Hugs,
            Paula
            – "Paula is to Chivettes as DAR man is to awesome…"
            — LG – twitpic.com/5q3g21

          • theChobble

            HHNF = Paula?

      • hmmmmmmmmmmm

        "True" Chivers? So she is the litmus test? Riiiiight

    • theweathermansaliar

      You people need to realize that she's not a god.

      • Troll The Intern

        There is no god, but there are awesome people who put a smile on my face and I'll worship them if I fucking feel like it.

        • truthserum

          Troll the Intern – you're just a fat fucking moron so shut up and get back to doing whatever it is you do (fap to ugly Chivettes like me?) o.0 <- me fapping thinking of you banging LG in her hospital bed trying to hurry up as the line-up of other chivers outside her room are growing impatient (and likely very hungry)

          • Trollcism

            I am doing whatever it is I do… trolling. Also, your mom.

            • truthserum

              wow – a "mom" joke! You are TOO CUTE! :*

              • Trollcism

                Wow, a boring comment pointing out my mom joke. You ran out of steam quickly, which is similar to what your girlfriend says about you, but a lot nicer.

                • truthserum

                  My mom actually hates me.

                  I am an embarrassment to my entire family so please stop discussing this.

                  • Trollcism

                    That's okay, I understand. Society doesn't approve of me trying to fuck my own family members. I keep trying to explain to them I'm a Chiver and I'm just abiding to "Challenge Accepted".

                    Chive on truthserum! Now I'm going to go masturbate, then smear the jizz on my chest while moaning "Chive on". 'Cause that what real Chivers do.

                • truthserum

                  no, she just says it more surprised like, "You ran out of steam quickly?!" because she's concerned that something is bothering me. After a bit of cajoling (couple with a handjob) I finally confess to her that my favourite website "The Chive" is being over-run with crazed fan boys and there is no way to stop them. She says to just stop commenting and enjoy the pictures…..but….I just can't stop! I am losing faith in the site and need to know that there are others out there, other Chivers who don't fall into all this shit, you know? They don't glorify the girls, they don't pretend to be guys who they so desperately want to be…….trollcism…..please don't be one of those guys…………or are you a LADY? And if so, do you have large breasts and if so, have you any twitpics to share?

                  I won't be looking here again so please submit as usual and use this name "Trollcism" which I really don't understand. I need to go give some sweet lovin' to my lady, as she is starting to get really worried (I can tell because she's just slipped into her Dirty Dr. uniform).

                  But I will see you again soon! :p

                  • truthserum

                    I know … I know….

                    When I said "my lady" i meant to say "my hand"

                    And I know my mom dressed in her stripper gear doesn't really count as a Dr Dirty

                    Sorry Chive – I just suck at life.

                  • Trollcism

                    No! Don't leave! COME BACK HERE AND POUND MY BUTTON-TIGHT ASSHOLE!!!

                  • Trolledex

                    This was actually pretty hilarious.

                    • FPOBA

                      I like cupcakes

                  • truthserum

                    All your little fake avatars are adorable. :$

      • Poop

        BLASPHEME!!!!

    • Just Because

      Hmmm……………………………………………………………

      40+ comments.

      Can't tell if best troll of the day, or people really love LG πŸ˜‰

      I think it's the latter.

    • http://www.gfys.org/ The real LG

      Fuck all of you ,am proud to be a whore, i just dont like admitting it. Iv got a sugar daddy at chive who blocks people i dont like and i have a bf who takes me for my regular STD checkups and picks me up daily from my corner + i have my army of whore worshipers who will jump of a building if i just fart in their direction so dont mess with me !!

      • Coast Guard

        You are a piece of crap. She works in our office and has been in ICU all day.

        Congrats on you all being complete worthless and horrible human beings. To bash on a complete fucking stranger (who happens to be a phenomenal human being in real life, off of your fucking chive-obsessed world because your trolling indicates how much you love this site), who has been in an intense amount of suffering is unfathomable. I hope that when you develop lung cancer that someone WHOM YOU'VE NEVER MET talks complete and utter bullshit towards you. She is a thousand times better of a person than any of you will ever be and I really can't believe the Chive has let this sort of banter go on. Fucking pathetic Chive staff.

        To those who care: she is in the ICU at the present time with a fever of 105 and sever lung issues. Maybe drop her a few nice words on twitter or something for moral support.

        • The Real LG

          Don't worry about me Coast Guard, I'm just going through withdraws from sucking cock for rock, and taking it up the crack for smack. I'll be fine.

        • Army

          "severe" – they'll take anyone nowadays eh Seamen Shithead?

      • fail

        Lamest shit ever, bro.

    • Coast Guard

      I can't get over how fucked up this thread is. You on the other hand are a decent human being and that's pretty rad.

      I work in the office with her and just wanted to kind of serve on her behalf by letting the Chive know that she has been in the ICU all day with a sustained fever of 105 and lung complications. From what I heard this morning she's doing a bit better but yesterday was a scary one for those who care about her because she is an awesome person and because she does make this world a better place. It's sad that people have absolutely no fucking respect in this world. Fucked up beyond belief in fact.

      • fail

        Thank You very much.
        Freaking trolls are out of control.
        Seems there is no decency anymore.
        Prayers.

      • Guesty

        we get it, your office was dirty. she got sick from it. move along

        • Coast Guard

          That's what she told you fuckers on her twitter because she didn't want to divulge whats really going on with her. It's a hell of a lot more serious than that idiot. It has nothing to do with mold at all btw.

          • http://www.gfys.org/ HHNF

            Either cost guard is LG herself or her pimp bf ,no other human being can be SO in love with a chic as annoying as her. Go and lie down in acid please.

        • Coast Guard

          The truth is that she caught the clap from one of the Chive staff.

        • truthserum

          Bastards are "moderating" my comments now Guesty (not this one yet) so I must go back under my bridge and fap quickly to our dying princess before she begins to fade from pictures a la McFly's parents in back to the Future.

          fap on!

          • http://www.gfys.org/ Coast Guard

            Am sorry for the comments iv been posting since yesterday ,its just that i lost her panties which i sniff to control my dementia but since i lost em yesterday i went berserk. Its ok now ,i found another dirty panty from her closet ,am feeling relaxed now.

            Adios.

  • VedHead77

    #24 – She knows exactly what's she's doing…Shake weights should be mandatory for all women and placed conveniently in the cupboard next to the sandwich bread.

    • Dylan

      I love this gif. You can just see the wheels turning in her head.

    • Adam

      Holly Willoughby.

      • colin

        Holly Willo-boobies

    • http://laughingseraphim.com/pressworks Cecil

      Damn it, it is so sexist, and so funny. The remark I mean. Shake weights are just, yeah, they should be mandantory…lmfao

    • DCBizzle

      Looks like she was expecting something when it stopped.

    • Ruffestneckaround

      SOUTH PARK DID IT!!!

    • Franklin

      I just think it's funny when meathead jocks try to act all macho about shaker weights, like it hasn't occurred to them that it looks like they're going for the money shot. I'm sure THOSE idiots know exactly what they're doing too.

      The thing is, though…shouldn't she already know how to do that?

  • cincychiver

    first

  • Hand of Fate

    #13 Quick, hide all the towels…

    • hugepens

      Bra clasps are like "Do Not Press" buttons.

      • Bluto

        Jolly candy-like buttons.

    • PianoFingers

      Find her!! … Please?

    • AirConCarl

      Wish my girl friends would do that on a hot day. 😦

  • theonehodge

    #47..I wish my builders had that ass… 😦

    • Captlazarus

      I bet if you dipped your finger around in there that it would smell like candy.

      • verbal kint

        or do do

    • Ewwwww

      But if they had that ass and were still guys… that wouldn't make it ok….

      • JstevensF

        No. But the shoddy workmanship that comes with that builders ass is perfectly acceptable

    • itsmebaby

      pretty sure that is a dude…either that or a woman with absolutely no hips

    • synnful

      My mind will not be right for the rest of the day now… F conference calls…. I think this is my new desktop, wonder if my boss will notice

  • p1babyarm

    #30 This is how happy I am after seeing #49

  • GwinnTro

    #45 thats a lot of fucking yogurt

    • Jed

      Michael Westen's dream fridge.

      • its_forge

        LOL win

  • Sharky

    #33 Duh, it's Katy Perry

    • Bud Lee

      uhm…I think that is zooey deschanel

      • Adama

        I think he was saying that Zooey's secret slut is Katy.

        • Bud Lee

          oh…carry on then

          • FPOBA

            Lets have one of your famous staring contests

        • Sharky

          This. I'm glad someone figured it out

    • James Westfall

      not sure if troll…or just gay.

      • verbal kint

        not me, so probably not gay…. like me

        • Troll The Intern

          Because there can be only one gay out there, and it happens to be you.

          • verbal kint

            and my bf… and i'm inside him so i know he didn't do it

            • Verbal_Kint

              Hey, your not verbal kint? stop stealing my name. 😦

              • verbal kint

                I thought you were stealing mine!!

                I can tell if you're my bf impersonating me… it will be proven if your dick tastes like shit!!

                • Troll the Intern

                  Why don't BOTH of you just shut the hell up okay? LG is sick and could DIE and here you too guys are fighting over some oral sounding name! If you guys can't play nice than put your dicks where they belong – 1 can go in my potty mouth, and the other into my chunky little man hole that regularly farts out cum from my dying retarded uncle (who has been trying like hell over the past couple of months to impregnate me so he can live on and worship the God LG through me)

                  Now, as Eddie Murphy would say, "Start fuckin'!"

                  • fail

                    Damn.
                    You troll fanboys are lame as hell !!!!!!!!

    • booboopeedoo

      Nope. It's Zooey Deschanel.

      • KNOB

        hahaha…. Your funny!!

        • Ruffestneckaround

          His funny what, exactly?

  • Uncle Jimbo

    #10 Every damn Time….

    • Nick

      That's what she said!

    • http://www.spachethespatula.com/ Rachael

      Not only that, but right before I try it the first time, I examine it to see if I am putting it in facing the correct way. Somehow, I am always terribly wrong… even though it seems like I change the direction each time…

      Damn USBs *shakes fist*!

    • Camper

      The USB symbol is on the top of the connector. If you can see it then you're good. If the port is sideways then you're screwed I can't help with that.

  • First Time Caller

    #40 – makes you wonder what other tricks she is capable of

    • Nick

      That would be a hell of a trick to try during sexi time. You'd never have to move to…hmm…switch gears since she'd be doing this awesome transformers maneuver.

    • alex

      this is clearly fake (in reverse, and a person who was standing in front of her has been shopped out)

  • Troll The Intern

    Kendra Wilkinson does it right! #2

  • p1babyarm

    #47 POW POW boner

    • http://thechive.com Mr_Zambu

      thats like the cutest butt ever

  • Capitalsfan74

    #3 Can't figure out if this is a Jerry Bruckheimer film or a Michael Bay film…. or real life.

    • LGisSlutty

      Jerrael Bayheimer

    • ashley

      michael bay, he has more explosions than real life.

      plus, jerry bruckheimer's a producer, he doesn't count πŸ™‚

    • Pat

      This can be found at every Air Show. The Jet Truck races a plane and the backround is ground based Pyrotechnics… just sayin.

  • Hand of Fate

    #4 Oh yeah? You think so? Well…I'll get back to you shortly.

  • Jeffrey Lebowski

    #13 I Love You

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