Daily Afternoon Randomness (49 Photos)

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  • Lawrence

    #3, #4

    Only on the Chive will a girl strip down in attempt to brighten my Monday. Thanks for that

    • RAS

      Gota love the Chive

    • Reply

      Are you familiar with porn at all? 'Cause that seems to happen a lot there, every day, not just Mondays.

    • flydenrict

      agreed. Chivettes are the shit.

      Unrelated question: how do i get the fingernails of the photos to appear in my comments? Thanks man.

      • Subscribe

        Can't tell if troll or just dumb.

      • dub

        They're called toe nails. And it's alt+F14

        • Chiveaholic

          fail on telling someone to hit ALT+F4…haha

          • Failon

            Fail on getting trolled by F14

          • flydenrict

            1) thumbnails not fingernails (i'm retarded)
            2) yeah i'm serious, you mind helping?

            • http://www.tube8.com Simon Phoenix

              just type in the pound sign ( #) and then the number of the photo no space between the pound sign and the number … THEN .. make sure you have a space AFTER the number of the photo that you wish use

              Whatever else you do after that .. remember " Keep calm and chive on"

              • Guesty

                Shut up with your retarded saying.

                • retarded

                  STFU and GTFO.

    • MonkeyPoxx

      no, not to brighten your monday(she doesn't know you from shit) just to attention-whore and get compliments.

      • dub

        Success! What have you succeeded at today?

    • AssClown

      Damn you perfectly smooth reflective skin!!

    • Patches

      Saw the first photo and thought to myself "wow, how about that? A classy, fully dressed chick… finally a Chivette who doesn't need to resort to showing skin to get attention?"

      Then I saw the 2nd pic. Nope, showin skin is all she has. You stay classy, girl who gets naked for random strangers on the internet.

      • Jewels

        I've been fully clothed… and I've shown skin on The Chive before. Never in my life have I shared my body on the internet or anything else for that matter until I came to The Chive. When I submitted a risque photo I made sure I did so anonymously. And… it was god.damn.liberating. My photo was certainly risque! I have my reasons as to why I chose to keep in anonymous. Job, future, family, friends (ass holes like yourself) ect. But BAMF like John who respect women AND their privacy make this all possible. Perhaps you could learn a thing or two from him. Someone buy that man a god damn beer. I never really expected my photo(s) to get posted. But when the did! Holy hell! What a rush! The whole fucking world is watching! You're bare ass is visible to the entire planet and onnnnly myself and my boyfriend knew that fine piece of flesh belonged to none other then me. Clearly you're missing a MULTITUDE of points… that I really just do not have the patience to explain. I'm sure you'll figure it out. Eventually. I'm sure I'm not alone when I say I'm getting exceptionally tired of the same smug ass holes (such as yourself) clogging up the comments sputtering the same bullshit. How dare you. I'm sure I'm not the only Chivette that feels this way. You judgmental prick.

        Ohhh…and..>> http://goofygifs.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/c

        • DOwhatido

          so is it okay for a larger woman to post photos to this website? Aren't they allowed to feel liberated? Or just stuck up bitches like yourself? OH WOW WHAT A RUSH…. MY NATURALLY HORRIBLE SELF ESTEEM NEEDED A BOOST, THOUGH I OBVIOUSLY THINK I'M HOT….you're fucking stupid.

          • Jewels

            What… the… fuuuuuck does this have to do with anything? For all you know I AM a large woman. Everyone should get fucking liberated as far as am concerned :). Might I add that The Chive posts photos of some reeeeaaallly muscular women…. and transgender….? To each their own mother fucker. You keep trolling and enjoying internet anonymity your way…. I'll keep doing it mine.

          • BSDHDVBv

            QUOTED. FOR. TRUTH.

            • Red


    • IMMENSE!

      "Only on the Chive will a girl strip down in attempt to brighten my Monday. Thanks for that "

      You must be single. For a long time now.

      • OEIiee


  • Pokey_McPoke

    #49 Let us pray… Thank you Lord for this beautiful creation of yours. Amen

    • Phox

      pushin' never had so much cushion

    • Hand of Fate

      I'm really not sure that is real. It like defies normal anatomy. Maye we should thank her plastic surgeon… (Not that I'm saying I don't appreciate it all the same)

      • Marios145

        I know a girl with a similar ass, lives near to my house…her mother's hot too…and divorced :D

        • DrGarnicus

          Make it happen.

          • lynch

            lets keep 29 out of it though. i know you saw those teeth..

    • Waldo

      Find her!!!!

      • F.S.M.

        Im atheist and I will thank god for that ass… breath taking

    • EDd


    • winfields

      Find….. him? could be a trap, you never know.


      • Frank M

        Even if this is 'shopped, it just seems right. ;)

        • hMMMM

          I don't think he was trying to say it was shopped…

    • Reply

      Not at all proportionate. Looks strange. Do not want.

      • please

        agreed. gross

        • ur-right

          your serious?? damn.. i mean.. dumb!!!

          • Rick

            slaping/fcking a fake booty isn't fun, gents. It's like hitting a door. Well, actually, it's like this. The hard'ness of these kinds of cheeks is very very similar to when you flex your ass check and grab it… that's the consistency of these fake-ass tushies. Amazing eye candy but immensely impracticable.

            The only enjoyable part is where yo dick is going. After a while, flipping her around becomes the greatest idea next to the wheel.

      • R-Dub

        You must be gay.

        • please

          no, i like nice proportionate fit girls, not giant ass skank ho's

          • Directions

            Let the poll to the talking.

            • Directions

              Great… the poll didn't show up.

          • floscar

            Or a giant hard cock!

          • dub

            Well now you're just assuming she's a skank ho. That's not nice.

    • john

      do not want

    • max-pow


    • nick

      chive who the eff is this girl?

      • please

        nick who the eff cares??

        • dub

          nick and I care. Any follow up questions?

          • Batman

            Now we are three.

            • Captain America

              You fuckers are always trying to exclude me

    • http://www.tube8.com Simon Phoenix

      While the original was totally awesome a few weeks ago .. This is totally photoshopped and therefore .. funny and random .. BEONGS IN DAR!

      However, why the fuck you photoshop the original which was AWESOME .. is beyond me. UNLESS you photoshopped her clothes off .. HAA HAA

      at any rate.. keep calm and chive on!

      • OEIeiee

        "keep calm and chive on!"

        the fuck does that shit even mean?

        • Snap

          Totally self explanatory bra.

        • A killer whale

          it's really "keep calm and sail on", a maritime phrase if you will. I hear it all the time.

      • Kumbia

        This is the original one posted last week…

    • chris

      This is the biggest "find her" in my nearly 2 years of being a chiver

    • Djma

      I love how chivers love 'real women' yet they're creaming themselves over this photoshopped abomination. She looks like a broken barbie doll.

      • meh

        If not "shopped", her proportions suggest she might be well under the legal age in most places.

    • RGH

      So much arguing over one girl. Let us settle this with more photos at different angles. Chive?

      • OIWE

        shut the fuck up.

    • Homerchrist

      oh good gawddamm your so right!

    • x3n

      oh nooooo…not this fucking Photoshop-mination!

      It's not just the ass, folks. C'moooon…it's not real. What about her torso…is she from Pandora?

    • invader


  • Kaars

    #17… FANTASTIC movie… hilarious twist on the poster.

    • J.D.

      The movie was pretty sweet till the last 1/4, but the pedoremake… awesome

    • ant

      gotta love those long takes

  • jtease

    #42 I am going to FAP to you and there is nothing you can do about it.

    • Phox

      all i need are pencils for school. looks like my load is already on her chest

    • The_Dood

      If that's all it takes to get you erect, I feel really bad for you when you go out in public…

      • winfields

        pretty sure he was making the Louie C.K. joke… could just be a trollin though.

      • Chivefessor

        You must not have been paying attention in Chive class.

    • Reply

      Cool starry bra!

      • Just Sayin'

        how many memes can the chive introduce in one day :P

        • Website (optional)

          Three and a half, obviously.

          • Obviously


            • Apparently


    • max-pow

      WHO'S THIS GIRL?…………..NOW!!

      • A killer whale

        Ha I laughed so hard I almost let water into my blowhole.

  • Herb


    I'm Rick James, Bitch!

    • caleb

      Cocaine's a helluva drug.

    • JROC

      You look like a busted daytona stripper in that shit. KP

    • bbqboobs

      #10 She looks like one of the trolls on "Ernest scared stupid.

      • jaynecobb2

        with a bag on her head she would look like Nikki

    • Ryan

      She looks like the offspring of Nicki Minaj and an albino gorilla.

    • CB919

      That has GOT to be a dude.

  • Guy

    #49 is unbelievable

    • Reply

      literally, and not a in a good way.

      • please

        true that. not attractive

        • Pzzz

          Are you fucking retarded?

    • truthserum

      Seriously? WTF is wrong with above posters? And all the comments a few above? You can't see the girls face, can't see anything really except for a toned stomach and a slamming ass – one that she no doubt works on regularly for guys who actually like female ass – not for gays like you two.

      If that was a dude straightening his hair you queens would be begging for his berries.

      • ur-right

        yup.. pretty much wraps that up.. toned tummy and nice booty.. y u hate man??

        • NotPaula


  • Hand of Fate

    #12 You have to respect a cute chick who also owns or is willing to wield a lightsaber!

    And hello, #44!

    • Stevo

      or a glo-tube

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=682265258 Lindsey Bergeron

        it's a lightsaber. promise, cross my heart.

        • Hand of Fate

          I never doubted. I own two myself…

          Thanks for sharing the pictures!

          May the F…err Chive on!

  • JuanCamdingo

    Geeks <3 #19

    • Ben

      I'd fight 7 evil exes for her!

      • Catch


    • P90

      That we do.

    • Reply

      Bump mapping!!!

    • max-pow


    • zerokiwi

      Completely in love with this girl.
      She's a geek and she's wearing a Smashing Pumpkins shirt!

      • http://theoctopushamstring.wordpress.com/ theoctopushamstring

        LOVING the Smashing Pumpkins shirt.

    • Pinky

      Thanks! I'm just spreading the love for an awesome graphic novel series and way underrated movie! :)

      • http://www.facebook.com/cavok Cody Klein

        That was my favourite movie of last year. You effing rock!

        Name: Pinky
        Job: X-man
        Rating: Awesome

    • Evariste

      SP's t-shirt is a win for sure!

  • Chris_Mason

    #49 perfect!

    • please

      perfectly gross

    • Lame Comment Hijack

      Does anyone suspect now, pretty blatantly, that the intern who just left the Chive to go back to school was – IN FACT…. Paula?

      • MonkeyPoxx

        do you suspect anyone gives a shit?

        • truthserum

          Nice one tough guy

      • http://www.tube8.com Simon Phoenix

        mmmhh ….. YOu bring up a pondering question worth pondering!

  • MigraineBoy

    #7 To make a phonecall you have to hold it upside down. Everybody knows that.

    • Reply

      Hello? Yes, I'm in the kitchen, why do you ask?

  • First Time Caller

    #46 – love how every guy's instinct is to instantly snaps a picture

    • The_Dood

      Pretty sure I would offer her some TP, after she uses it, you just turn her around and go to town.

      • MonkeyPoxx

        wow. you sound like a 13 year old virgin.

        • truthserum

          You sound like a queer.

      • OEIeiee

        you sound like such a tool.

    • http://theadventuresofjim.wordpress.com/ theAdventuresOfJim

      i feel sorry for the guy just tryna pee, i find it hard enough with a dude standing next to me let alone a girl and everyone taking photos of me

    • dub

      I hope she's taking a shit.

    • Meow Mix Catfood

      I'm amazed that he can pee with all those people around

    • CB919

      Damned if you do, damned if you don't. Piss yourself while waiting in line for girls washroom – wind up on internet. Take shortcut by going in mens room – wind up on internet. What's a girl to do?

  • James


    • http://thechive.com/ Award_Giver

      Worse comment ever

      • Subscribe

        When worst come to worse…. masturbate.

      • dub

        You're gonna have to re-etch that there typo. I think you're looking for "Worst."

        • hossmank

          Yeah, you didn't get the joke. See Award_Giver.

  • Joe

    #5 not that much anymore…

    • http://thechive.com/ Turduckenn

      too much mountain dew?

      • http://www.facebook.com/long.dennis Dennis Long Jr

        He stole my post….but for me it was a night with the wife… Three for Three. Only once by my own hand.

  • Bud Lee

    #32 I feel so dirty looking at her now…it is like looking at one of my sister's friends that I've known since she was small

    With that said…I'll tap it

    • https://www.facebook.com/lalo.spain Lalo Teijeiro

      thats not emma watson man, just look at the rack

      • whatnow

        trick of the lighting

    • ggg1228

      That is NOT Emma Watson.

      • dfgdfs

        yea, i really think it is

    • Smartass

      You will or you would. If the former, Good Luck. If the latter, I hear you, brother.

    • max-pow


      • Guesty

        Even worse, you are only 30! (do the math). And quit yelling at me pedo

        • truthserum

          Guesty is the Besty,

        • MAX-POW


    • Guy

      Looks like Alexis Bledel to me

  • wztarheel

    #24 ICEMAN!!!

    • WhatIsAnonymous?

      Gay Perry

    • Verbal_Kint

      More like Fatman.

    • fred

      It’s so early, you guys want some coffee or something?

      • Scott

        holy shit I totally read that in the transvestite voice before I knew what I was ready

        • Scott


        • _bigdeal

          am i missing something because i did too.. or is it just his happy welcoming face in the camera? lol

      • truthserum

        I'm sorry, I – I was weeping.

    • isawoj

      #24 Chris Knight!!!

    • boob man

      i prefer to remember him as doc holliday….

      • ROK247

        you're a daisy if you do

        • JHL1

          Actually, the quote is "your daisy if ya do", but I'll plus you for the attempt.

          • ROK247

            Eventus stultorum magister

            • hMMMM

              I think Johnny Ringo said that

      • gimletmike

        So do I. He was the definitive Doc Holliday.

      • _bigdeal


      • LuvH8fulChix

        I'll be your huckleberry.

    • @bunkerpunkk

      Danny Parker – The Salton Sea

    • Subscribe

      The Saint.

    • http://www.facebook.com/gilmourw Mitch Moseley

      Jim Morrison!

    • http://twitter.com/ABQLifer @ABQLifer

      Fat Kilmer! Can't I believe this is what has become of Madmartigan….

    • eatit

      I remember when you used to be hot… somehow I think the memory just wouldn't cut it no more. I'd rather do Chum Lee from Pawn Stars

    • Zoey

      What was his name in Top Secret?? (I need to see that movie again; it's been waaaay to long)

      • Jonathen

        Nick Rivers. Or as the german girls in the movie called him: Neek Reevers.

        • Slappy

          Still not as bad as what happened to Carrie Fisher.

  • pyrocyz


    Definitely photoshopped.

    • Subscribe

      You don't motherfucking say.

    • Dan

      I can tell by some of the pixels

    • iveseenalotashops

      and from seeing quite a few photoshops in my day.

    • Alister

      and by the fact that we're dinosaurs.

  • pablo_v

    I've been waiting all my muthafuckin' life!
    -the Juggernaut
    (how I feel every day at work waiting for the DAR)

    • Wall Master


  • orangewhip

    #49 that just happened.

    • Reply

      What? You posted a dumb, original comment? Yeah, that just happened.

      • orangewhip


    • please

      it did and I wish it hadn't

  • JAMon

    early monday DAR? things DO get better.

    • OIE

      get a life.

  • The_Marc

    #4 …and a "Welcome to you" too ;)
    #19 …and I <3 U! ;) …moar?!?!
    #29 ….and I thank you again!

  • NOUU


    • homos

      not much, how are you?

    • Stevo

      are you the one who is up homos?

    • HAHSO


      • anon

        well said

      • OEIiee

        because he's gay and none of the guys are interested.

  • JuanCamdingo

    #49 ftw

    • Subscribe

      So, you saw how 5 other people already reposted and commented on this photo above, but you were like "I have such a better original comment that I definitely have to post this again. Wait 'til everyone sees how creative I am!" Is that what happened there?

      • Guesty

        For sure to be followed up with "FIND HER" "MOAR" "CHIVE ON" "MAKE HER A CHIVETTE"… all very original and quite witty

        • please

          particularly since she has an unnatural fat ass

          • Average Chiver

            No man… that's a REAL girl… also, get her a half-sandwich!

            • truthserum

              How about an amalgamation: "HER ON A CHIVETTE MAKE HER FIND MOAR CHIVE".

              By the way, if my ass had an ass like that (she doesn't) I would let her shit right on my face – after ANY meal (even definite stinkers like Indian and Thai)

              • dub

                Do you often refer to your mother as "My Ass?"

              • dub

                Because I thought I was the only one…..

          • guy

            you comment on this pic every time someone posted it……WE get it you have a thing for pancake asses but I think you secretly are in love this pic!

            • guy

              ^ for please my bad!!!

  • http://thechive.com/ GernBlansten

    #19 WANT!!!!!!

    #46 Saw something similar at an Indigo Girls concert years ago. Except I was seriously outnumbered.

  • 2theblackhole

    #7 ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring…

    • Subscribe

      But it doesn't look like a Shake Weight…..

    • Just Saying

      That could be your penis.

    • Just Sayin'

      R.I.P Potentially awesome thread….

      But none the less:

      …..Banana phone! BA BABA DA!

      • Directions

        You must be lost. For – bananaphone – see comments for the exact same picture, above.

    • Raffi

      BANANA PHONE!! It's my cellular, BANANULAR phooooooooooooooooooone.

    • http://theoctopushamstring.wordpress.com/ theoctopushamstring

      If the banana is here…then WHERE'S THE PHONE?!?!?!?!

      -Mike Apathy

  • http://twitter.com/DJCrazyEyes @DJCrazyEyes

    The Force is Strong with this One #12

    • THT

      so there is such thing as a hot Jedi . . .

    • phoenixv8

      bend over and show me your dark side….

      …yeah i went there, I'll *ahem* get my coat

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