Daily Afternoon Randomness (48 Photos)

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  • Jacob

    Lauren, you've been my favorite Chivette for a long time. Get well soon!

    #41

    • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

      Glad to see you back on your feet my dear ❤ Lauren ❤ !
      I hope you don't mind I had Erin and Willow over for a 4-day no-pyjama party while you were away.

      Hugs,
      Paula
      – "Paula is to Chivettes as DAR man is to awesome…"
      — LG – twitpic.com/5q3g21

      • dougie

        paula… you are fucking retarded. please stop posting anything, everyone hates hugs

        • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

          Thank you for your letter concerning my precense in the comment section.
          After careful consideration of your request, I regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your request to leave. The last few months I have been fortunate in receiving an unusually large number of similar requests. It is impossible for me to accept all these requests.
          I look forward to seeing you again.

          Hugs,
          Paula
          – "Paula is to Chivettes as DAR man is to awesome…"
          — LG – twitpic.com/5q3g21

          • penguin slayer

            I don't know way but i think i love paula! should i see a doctor about that?

            • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

              You might need to after several Paula haters beat you to a pulp for that.

              Hugs,
              Paula
              – "Paula is to Chivettes as DAR man is to awesome…"
              — LG – twitpic.com/5q3g21

      • willsetyoufree

        just going out on a limb here, but since you are sick, maybe you can have someone take a few pics of you in your hospital gown from behind. you know, with the slit all the way up. that way we can see more of that hiney you are sooooo in love with. what do you say??

        • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

          Did you even read the text on the photo of my dear Lauren <3?
          Oher than that; great idea.

          Hugs,
          Paula
          – "Paula is to Chivettes as DAR man is to awesome…"
          — LG – twitpic.com/5q3g21

      • http://thechive.com/ Award_Giver

        For not often saying what people want to hear in order to remain in everyone's good books award goes to Paula

        • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

          Why thank you, dear Award_Giver. I take back what I said about corruption earlier. Also; your check is in the mail.

          Hugs,
          Paula
          – "Paula is to Chivettes as DAR man is to awesome…"
          — LG – twitpic.com/5q3g21

      • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

        Seriously; nobody took the feet bait? My comments are too smart for Chivers obviously. I am disappoint.

        Hugs,
        Paula
        – "Paula is to Chivettes as DAR man is to awesome…"
        — LG – twitpic.com/5q3g21

    • Pokey_McPoke

      Operation Erradicate Dickhead Seagull now in effect. We are a go!

      • GK-4

        that seagull would already be dead from from the infection now if untreated…so mission accomplished

        • THIS IS MADNESS!!!

          "Connect the dots? Ha! More like set the book down and have a beer."

    • snipes

      Lauren, hope you feel better! You're beautiful, thought someone better make sure they tell you today.

    • SweetAwesomeness

      is nothing sacred anymore?!?!? damn you to hell you dirty seagulls!!!!!

    • http://twitter.com/soy_LG @soy_LG

      Thank you Jacob and everyone else who's sent positive thoughts my way. It all happened really fast so I'm lucky to be here to Chive another day lol. I'm bed-bound for the next few days or so, watching day-time shows that no one in their right mind should ever watch and trying to not be a little bitch about my breathing, but my fever's not at 103 anymore so I'm feeling much better! I probably got it via a contaminated feather so to all of you who ever touch those things (to throw them away or look at them, etc.), PLEASE wash your hands immediately. I must have forgotten and gone about my day as normal…so please take a lesson from me. Feathers apparently can kill. God damned sky rats aren't as innocent as they look lol.

      Thanks again and Chive on! 🙂

      • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

        Since you're bed-bound, I suppose you don't mind Willow and Erin staying with me a few days longer dear <3?

        Hugs,
        Paula
        – "Paula is to Chivettes as DAR man is to awesome…"
        — LG – twitpic.com/5q3g21

        • http://twitter.com/soy_LG @soy_LG

          Thanks for the chuckle Paula. Erin and Willow are two great girls so no hard feelings. 😉

          • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

            Ironically we'll be bed-bound too. For moral support for you of course.

            You should join us when you're up to it. Be sure to wear (only) your cowboy boots as usual. No spurs!

            Hugs,
            Paula
            – "Paula is to Chivettes as DAR man is to awesome…"
            — LG – twitpic.com/5q3g21

            • Guesty

              Oh just shut the fuck up already

              • GuestyisaTroll

                ydaerla pu kcuf eht tuhs tsuj hO

              • Coldzilla

                Oh imagine that……..

              • truthserum

                GUesty – we should be celebrating – the seagull idea worked. We just have to try harder. Next time, maybe we will send a pigeon.

            • dougie

              ironically… paula is a 360 pound man

              • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

                You should see me after I ate these 3 delicious Chivettes… :p

                Hugs,
                Paula
                – the one who smells of fish

          • jetrome

            Feel better. Glad you're past the worst of it. Get better and Chive On!!

          • Hofner1962

            No hard feelings? Can't say the same here.

            "Hope you feel better" doesn't really cut it after a life threatening illness but well – Hope you feel better soon

            (the soon is what makes all the difference)

        • http://twitter.com/erinwillett @erinwillett

          whoa, there.

          • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

            Oy, what are you doing behind the computer? Come back to bed. Make me a sandwich on your way back. Easy on the mustard as it will only tickle you later.

            Hugs,
            Paula
            – "Paula is to Chivettes as DAR man is to awesome…"
            — LG – twitpic.com/5q3g21

            • PFunk and Misty

              I don't think she likes you.

              • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

                Doesn't matter; had sex.

                Hugs,
                Paula
                – "Paula is to Chivettes as DAR man is to awesome…"
                — LG – twitpic.com/5q3g21

                • PFunk and Misty

                  I see your meme and raise you: 'Pics or it didn't happen.'

                  • THIS IS MADNESS!!!

                    Win!

                  • http://twitter.com/The_Scofield_ @The_Scofield_

                    Seconded!

                  • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

                    I asked; but they're a bit camera shy. Sorry.

                    Hugs,
                    Paula
                    – "Paula is to Chivettes as DAR man is to awesome…"
                    — LG – twitpic.com/5q3g21

                    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=510682091 Graham Upshaw

                      False, all their pictures on the chive prove otherwise.

      • jdb

        "God damned sky rats aren't as innocent as they look lol." Nice… Get well soon and tell Coast Guard to quit freaking out. You seem to be a great girl who can ignore dumbasses on the internet as well as you take a good compliment.

      • Hich

        Lauren, we Chivers have bound together to rid the world of these disease-infested seagull sons-of-a-bitches. Rest assured, not a single feather will ever come with a 100-yard radius of your person again.

        • Bull Limey

          WHAT. A BUNCH. OF BROWN-NOSING. CORNY. QUEEEEEEEEERRSSSS!

          • Sacramento916

            sorry i could only like once!

          • Guesty

            I wish I could like a million times.

            • truthserum

              Try different names on different computers like I do. It may not be fair, but I don't give a shit.

          • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

            But then her ass IS like Hotel California…

            Hugs,
            Paula
            – "Paula is to Chivettes as DAR man is to awesome…"
            — LG – twitpic.com/5q3g21

            • DWD

              Her ass is 'programmed to receive'? We can check-out any time we like, but we can never leave?

              • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

                Duh. Anyway I'm back to bed now. Make room ladies!

                Hugs,
                Paula
                – "Paula is to Chivettes as DAR man is to awesome…"
                — LG – twitpic.com/5q3g21

          • its_forge

            If being fond of LG and thinking she's nice to look at as well is queer I definitely don't wanna be straight.

        • truth

          lame dude. really, really gay.

      • willsetyoufree

        just going out on a limb here, but since you are sick, maybe you can have someone take a few pics of you in your hospital gown from behind. you know, with the slit all the way up. that way we can see more of that hiney you are sooooo in love with. what do you say??

        (sorry – misposted before)

        • Cuddly Bear

          agreed. come on bitch, show us 'ya ass!

          • truthserum

            Lord knows that's all your fucking good for on here!

      • Monk

        Get well soon Gator girl! And thanks for the heads up. I always pick up feathers, and I didn't know they could make you sick. Chive On.

      • Dick Richarson

        way to get chlamydia from a seagull……Gross.

        • Sparks

          Glad I'm not the only one who thought that.

      • EdWood

        Welcome back. Glad to hear from you.
        Get Well soon.
        However……………
        There is a "small" problem here on TheChive.
        Were are under a Troll invasion.
        Please offer your advice on this matter.
        Please don't say "Don't feed the Trolls" !!

        • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

          Trolls!?? Where??

          Hugs,
          Paula
          – "Paula is to Chivettes as DAR man is to awesome…"
          — LG – twitpic.com/5q3g21

        • truthserum

          That small problem is called truth EdWood you dumbass.

          • EdWood

            You wouldn't know the "Truth" if you saw it and heard it.
            You and 'Guesty" are the problem.
            Sad, miserable, pathetic Trolls.

            • Guesty

              Yeah, I'm the sad and pathetic one. Coming from the person who needs advice on how to be witty from a skank that poses in her bra and panties for a website. Get a life you moose-knuckle

              • GuestyisaTroll

                Yes, yes you are a sad, miserable, pathetic troll.
                You need a new hobby.
                Might I suggest……….Spontaneous Cumbustion !!!
                You might not like it……….Everyone else will.

        • Guesty

          Use your own brain, you fucking retard

      • Give Carl your Ideas

        Just a thought here, as I don't really know how your health-care works where you live. If the hospital stuck you with a hefty bill I'm sure you'd be able to get some of the Chivers to donate a buck or two to help ease the strain. Hope you get back on your feet and doing the things you like sooner than later.

        • yup

          ummmm………..no

        • pass

          that's the dumbest fuckin idea ever….get a life.

        • POIUYTR

          "I'm sure you'd be able to get some of the Chivers to donate a buck or two to help ease the strain."

          how about "fuck you"

      • http://www.gfys.org/ puhhllsss

        Chlamydia from a Seagull ? Really ? You`re making this toooo easy for us.

        1.Stop fucking animals ,you already make enough money from humans.
        2.Nobody gives a fuck about what happened to a random internet whore ,the ONLY reason the losers here miss you is coz they need half naked skank pics of ur ass/tits to use as Fap bait so stfu and get naked.
        3.For every whores sake stop yapping so much.

        • nuff said

          WIN.

          • fail

            Two fails for the price of none.

    • Biggus Diccus

      So did the seagull shit in her mouth or what?

      • Guesty

        blew in it maybe…

      • Guesty

        the seagull said it worked for the chive I hear…

        • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

          Reddit.

          Hugs,
          Paula
          – "Paula is to Chivettes as DAR man is to awesome…"
          — LG – twitpic.com/5q3g21

          • PEN15 Club

            There's a difference?

        • truth

          breaking story… alert TMZ

        • GuestyisaTroll

          !!! llorT ,ssa ym ssiK

      • Biggus Diccus

        Oh I see, the feathers… good to know

      • Bang a Gong

        yep. she probably thought it was his money-shot.

        • Guesty

          "So mr seagull, you say you post pics on the internet. Step into my office."

    • The_Marc

      Get better Lauren!! Seagulls are Dicks!!

    • thedroh

      Get well soon!!

    • RAS

      Get well soon. Life has a way of sneaking up on you and biting you on the @ss.

      • AM Ref

        Isn't it Ironic? Don't you think?

    • http://thechive.com/ Award_Giver

      Get well soon LG

      • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

        What, you couldn't find an award for that?

        "Speedy recovery from seagull attack award"?
        "Got well soon award"?
        "Queen Chivette returns award"?
        "Fastest Paulas bitch recovery ever award"?
        "Beat the flying rat award"?

        Love what you're doing, but are you sure you're up to this job?

        Hugs,
        Paula
        – "Paula is to Chivettes as DAR man is to awesome…"
        — LG – twitpic.com/5q3g21

        • http://thechive.com/ Award_Giver

          She has a best come back award waiting for her first post

          • Mr.X

            LG burn's her bra comeback..that would be an award worth giving

          • Giverofawards

            Take one on your own behalf.
            Cool idea Bro.

    • DWD

      Did that say she got Chlamydia in her lungs from a seagull?

      • Jangling Jack

        yeah. but "seagull" is just slang terminology for "john" or "customer".

    • http://www.myspace.com/theamericanmaniacs BentWrenches

      Take care LG,And get better soon!
      p.s. got the shotgun loaded up,heading to the beach.

    • SeaBassEX

      Get well soon, Lauren.

      Pro tip: Don't eat seagull poop, it isn't candy.

      *The More You Know*

    • Cap Awesome

      Cap Awesome says, an awesome chivette like you needs to get well soon

    • Cyberfunker

      Damn, A Flock of Seagulls…I knew that band was up to no good.

    • Sid

      Get well LG, we miss you!

    • moeshere Foxdale

      Sorry you got sick hon take it easy…praying for you…god speed…

      • Lil Bobby

        Damn,,that sucks LG. Hope you get better soon. Nasty hooker attention whore or not, nobody deserves that. Get back to the docks soon, those old sailors are used to diseased bitches anyway.

    • Drew J

      Everyone needs to keep the comments more positive and less "hide behind my computer and talk real big…" that's the main thing that separates this awesome site from an ebaums or a break. that and it's way more awesome. Everyone just calm the fuck down, and chive the fuck on.
      Also, LG I'm sorry to hear of your unfortunate run in with that douche bag seagull. Get well soon!
      D

      • Garth

        fuck you….as you hide behind your name….

      • Guesty

        Really guy? Well shit, I didn't know everyone should just be double rainbows. I'm sorry. I've said some not nice things, and until I read your comment, I didn't realize what I was doing. I'll change my ways thanks to you! Oh, and that saying is fucking annoying! It is easily the most retarded thing, and then you go and add "fuck" to show emphasis. Truly clever. Now I have to calm down, cause you threw fuck in there, otherwise, I would still be very hyped up. You are fucking pathetic.

        • fail

          You find this annoying ?
          Calm down and Chive on. Calm down and Chive on. Calm down and Chive on.
          Now you know how we all feel when you comment.
          You are the asscrack of annoying.

          • fail's mom

            now you've done it! back to basement for re-education son….

        • TRON

          win

    • Charlie

      Damn, hope you're doing better. Glad to know you still have that great sense of humor, sweetheart.

    • funkyf

      Lauren, I hope you make a full recovery and get to Chive on!

    • http://www.thechive.com SmokeyMorgan

      Get well soon girl.

    • saintfuller

      Get well soon Lauren sending good feelings and karma from Winchester, UK. Im sure you will be back on your feet before you know it 🙂 seagulls are dicks and always steal my food when im at the seaside, next time i wont feel so bad about punching some

      x

  • parker

    #48 > #19

    • Shy Ronnie

      #36 >= #48

      • http://www.facebook.com/Cheeselea Chelsea Lauren Foulk

        #36's body is insane. Definitely not all natural, but if it was, holy crap!

        • Catch

          This picture is highly photoshopped, the real version is much hotter.

      • its_forge

        Was just about to say that, although #48 is plenty cute, Jesus Christ will you look at those tits.

    • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

      #36 >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> #19

      Hugs,
      Paula
      – "Paula is to Chivettes as DAR man is to awesome…"
      — LG – twitpic.com/5q3g21

    • OEIeewcd

      #11 chive, you came close, but you just couldn't do it. could you? you just had to have someone from Twilight featured in your last post of the day. goddamn faggots.

      • hMMMM

        Pretty sure YOU'RE the faggot. Why else would you hijack a post debating the hotness of two women with skateboards with this???

    • Chiver Diver

      I know I hate women with curves!

  • disturbed

    #1 Fishing. You're doing it right.

    • its_forge

      Germans. Or dudes pretending to be Germans.

    • Paul

      Oktoberfest.Get there.Whatever it takes.No excuses.No explanations.

  • Intensemasterdebater

    #10 Therefore, I am blessed…

    • Gooberman

      I believe we all are…how could one not love her?

    • Gooberman

      how could one not find her attractive?

    • Shy Ronnie

      God bless us all…

    • Wong

      damn she's got big feet…..

      • Squooshy

        she has feet?

      • its_forge

        The better to not topple over when you [make up your own sexual innuendo that involves standing]

    • DWD

      if we get blessed by God just for thinking she's attractive, I wonder what we get for all the FAPing?

      • Ieeve

        everyone else's pity.

        • DWD

          People pity me for FAPing? Why? I rather enjoy it.

    • http://www.facebook.com/Cheeselea Chelsea Lauren Foulk

      It freaks me out when she looks straight to camera. She's slightly wall-eyed.

      • K.O.

        Foulk you Chelsea.

        • POIUYTR

          yeah, how dare she have an opinion!

          • K.O.

            I just kinda wanted to make that pun.

      • its_forge

        She's doe-eyed, the slant of her eyes makes them look like they're pointing different directions depending on the angle.

    • oughtnot

      Eh, she's ok but I think Laura Prepon is better looking.

      • Kinda Manly

        You really ought not say that. She does have some tig ol' bitties though. But the man size and voice… meh.

      • its_forge

        Prepon sure did look great on the show but now, not so much. She's turned into one of those shave-eyebrows-off-draw-them-back-on girls for one thing. Eeuggh.

      • hMMMM

        I don't know why everyone sweats Donna so bad…she's fucking WHACK!!!

    • LuvH8fulChix

      Is her quote supposed to be deep? Sounds like pandering to me…

  • daniel

    for some reason #28 made my day

    • jdb

      Me too… and hungry.

    • DWD

      Fan of e-coli?

    • yup

      vegans are sanctimonious hypocritical morons

    • righteous.solid.

      particularly enjoyed this one too! so much so i was prepared to spend time writing this throwaway comment

    • derka

      you eat raw meat?

      • its_forge

        Well not like that but ever heard of carpaccio? It's friggen divine.

  • FloppyRocks

    #3 …Gollum?

    • Charles Barkley

      Kenny,
      Dat's a turrible carreer move!

    • ROK247

      someon kidnap him and take him to whatabuger

    • Biggus Diccus

      He still has a fat head, but good to see he's lost some weight

    • Token Black Chiver

      there goes his career but good job on weight lost

      • thom

        He was the new John Candy, or Chris Farley. Hopefully, he can get some work with the new look.
        Now there is a job opening for loveable fat guy in Hollywood.

        • Lowrent75

          Um..would you want to be in that mix…they both did die of the "Fat Comedians Disease"…you know food, blow, smokes, blow, more food, blow…

    • equalizermax

      From LESS funny to NOT funny at all…

      • Token Black Chiver

        he will try and be a "SERIOUS" actor now

        • robby

          he looks super bad… O.o

          • _bigdeal

            fat person to skinny person: asshole to all for revenge.
            im sad. now he"ll suck. i dont want his dick in or around my mouth now : (

            • Corey

              ok am I the only one who does not see the logic in the fact that he lost a bunch of weight therefore he will now suck as an actor?…hmmm…

              • Ha.Ha.

                if you're typecast as the funny fat man (or any other character), it's obviously going to be more difficult for him to find work b/c he can't take advantage of what he's done in the past.

    • Adam West

      Head > Body…

  • Hand of Fate

    #41 Feel better LG!

    • OwnerOfYou

      Get well, get well soon, we want you to get well!

    • What

      Don't get fat.

    • What

      Or we won't blow our load on your pictures anymore.

    • DudeBro

      So she got chlamydia from asshole of a seagull? Sounds like she brought it upon herself.

    • truthserum

      This is a smaller post, but sure to be read – y'all need to get a life – you do understand that you're making this site like a fucking high school right? Making one or 2 girls the popular ones, and acting like a bunch of fucking nerds trying to say "just" the right comment so you can believe you're friends with this seagull cum guzzler?

      Pathetic – the lot of you!

      • patov40

        You haven't had an erection in months have you? There's medication for impotence you know. See your doctor and take care of this. You will be much happier, and so will your hand! B)

        • http://www.facebook.com/ranDgallegos Randy Gallegos

          oh and comments like these are douchier than the one you are replying too….

      • http://www.facebook.com/ranDgallegos Randy Gallegos

        by coming off as a hater of random people who have done nothing to you but share their pics for your viewing pleasure, you are the only one that sounds like a high schooler. i do get that some guys on here (a lot admittedly) go over a line of creepy into a dark place reserved for pedophiles and catholic priests, but being hateful isnt going to change any of them. unless you really think your trolling is going to change the world that is TheChive.

        • HeyDude

          I would respect your comment, but your picture changed my mind. You should be ashamed of yourself for dating a retarded lil girl. Now get back to Mexico and sit on your corner selling chickle so the sailors can have fresh breath before they dp your madre.

          Oh, yeah…hope you get well soon LG, that 3rd world country Mexico needs at least 1 healthy hooker.

          • SouthPaw

            Take your hilly billy ass back to the trailer, fuck your sister, and do us all a favor and shut the fuck up.

            • HeyDude

              SouthPaw: Slang, Def; The act of tossing your fathers salad in return for him purchasing your first confederate flag.

              Use; I SouthPawed my father again last night to show my appriciation for the new flag.

              • http://www.facebook.com/ranDgallegos Randy Gallegos

                i wish i was as cool as you. one day when i grow up, i hope im an internet cool guy too. ill spend all my time trolling website threads just looking for an opportunity to unleash my witty insults on everyone. bwahahaha

                but no really you're a tool. =)

      • derka

        you go girl!

      • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

        I loved high school! I got to beat up all those pathetic guys. Currently I'm running in to these very same guys at Chive meetups and as trolls in the comment section.
        I know you! Didn't you cry like a baby after I crushed your nuts once?

        Hugs,
        Paula
        – "Paula is to Chivettes as DAR man is to awesome…"
        — LG – twitpic.com/5q3g21

        • http://www.facebook.com/ranDgallegos Randy Gallegos

          i ❤ you paula lol

      • http://www.gfys.org/ The Real LG

        STFU ,how the hell was i supposed to know the seagull had chlamydia ,i was drunk and really horny so i fucked his brains out then i stomped on him with my hobbit feet. You cant blame a girl for trying to get off. John saw it all ,he will post some pics of this incident soon and make me world famous. Chive on my worshipers !

      • its_forge

        You realize that you're probably going to be 40 before you ever get to touch a woman's behind, right?

        • http://www.gfys.org/ its_forge 107p

          I know coz am a 40yr old virgin. The only time i got some action in life was when my dad tried to touch me. Now i spend my life defending random strangers on a website. I win !!

          • its_forge

            Hmm relative value of an intelligent, personable and very pretty girl who posts pictures of herself in underwear on the internet for people to adore, vs. some random dickwipe who gets his jollies insulting people he knows absolutely nothing about… I think I'll stick with LG.

            • http://www.gfys.org/ Th Real LG

              Good job forge ,keep it up ! I will soon send you my dirty nasty panties to have fun with as a reward.
              Worship me more and maybe just maybe ill let you shag violently to release all your sexual frustration.

              • its_forge

                Hey everybody, look at the idiot who thinks his stupid wisecracks are actually clever and also thinks he's hurting my feelings. LOL

                • IEDRRe

                  let me guess, you've already got a pair of wet, dirty panties you mash your face into whenever you're stressed? dirty old fuck.

                  • its_forge

                    Eww dude, what kind of a sick mind do you have to come up with that? Eww. Just eww!

      • dumb

        i agree….its now an LG, Erin, Dylan, Shay site….grow up Chive.

        • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

          LG: WIN!
          Erin: WIN!
          Dylan: WIN!
          Shay: win!
          Chive: WIN!

          Hugs,
          Paula
          – "Paula is to Chivettes as DAR man is to awesome…"
          — LG – twitpic.com/5q3g21

          • http://www.gfys.org/ fact

            The League Of Ordinary Whores.

      • JakesSnakes

        Do you have a successful site of your own that you run? What gives your opinion credibility?

  • Anonymous

    #10 God bless me!

  • hMMMM

    #12 – I see what you did there….

    • thehookah

      My Dick, cost a late night fee
      Your Dick, straight to DVD

      • http://thechive.com/ Award_Giver

        and the award for bringing back something that was played out a long time ago and use it in a matter in which it does not suck goes to thehookah!

        • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

          Be sure to pay attention when I post my next Norma Stitz reference OK?

          Hugs,
          Paula
          – "Paula is to Chivettes as DAR man is to awesome…"
          — LG – twitpic.com/5q3g21

          • http://thechive.com/ Award_Giver

            I will keep an eye out

            • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

              18 minutes and counting…. and it's even on page 1….

              Hugs,
              Paula
              – "Paula is to Chivettes as DAR man is to awesome…"
              — LG – twitpic.com/5q3g21

      • Shisha

        What flavor hookah?

    • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

      Figured that out all by yourself dear? Or did the jailer help?

      Hugs,
      Paula
      – "Paula is to Chivettes as DAR man is to awesome…"
      — LG – twitpic.com/5q3g21

    • http://theoctopushamstring.wordpress.com/ theoctopushamstring

      Ishmael, as it should happen, proves to be the genial, desperado philosopher extraordinaire. In fact, you’d be hard-pressed to find his equal anywhere in the history of literature. One tiny example should suffice. On the fourth page of the novel proper, having already told us that he’s a little down on his luck and light in the purse, he makes the stoical aside that “in this world, head winds are far more prevalent than winds from astern”—sound philosophy from a hard-luck sailor. But then he qualifies his sobering truism by saying, “That is, if you never violate the Pythagorean maxim.” Subtle joke, easy to miss, for you’re probably thinking Pythagoras, who’s that? Oh, yeah, a-squared plus b-squared equals c-squared. But that’s not the Pythagorean maxim he’s talking about. What you need to know (and sadly this isn’t explained in most editions) is that there is a two-word fragment of Pythagoras’ writings that simply says: Avoid beans. This is the maxim Ishmael’s referring to, with all its wind-from-astern implications, thereby creating what might be the highest-brow fart joke ever told.

      -Mike Apathy
      http://www.theoctopushamstring.wordpress.com

      • http://www.myspace.com/theamericanmaniacs BentWrenches

        Cool starry,bra

  • Kaars

    #22 … Self Confidence : No Longer Sexy.

    • yo yo ma

      Who'd she steal the sign from?

    • HAHSO

      NOT

    • Fred

      If she had one then she would realize her statement is false

    • Vagina Jones

      Is she funny?

      • Monk

        She's as Anne as the nose on Plain's face.

        • Vagina Jones

          At least someone got the Arrested Development reference.

    • http://laughingseraphim.com/pressworks Cecil

      I think she is hot as hell. Would love to chat with her.

      • Wong

        whatever works for you……

      • DWD

        Cecil… is that you in the picture?

      • derka

        1 out of 5 relationships start on with a chive comment

    • Holmie

      God, I'm so tired of seeing the incredible shallowness/superficiality on this site. It's annoying. Sure, it's great to drool over sexy ladies, but you have to realize how unbelievably ignorant you become when you respond to pictures like this with "NO! Ugly chick! Go away/Stop existing!" She is holding this sign to make a point; that she doesn't need a sexy body to be awesome. Apparently though, that point is way over the head of this audience.

      • Rhys

        Well said Holmie. And kaars "self confidence: no longer sexy", you're a douchebag.

      • Chiver

        Ewww, thats something an ugly person would say! Your not ugly or fat are you?!

        • Coastie

          I am all for her and her sign. I guess I am old but I have found funny, smart women to be damn sexy.

          • SanDiego

            Bunch of uggos gettin all uppity

        • Rhys

          Nope.

      • http://www.facebook.com/ranDgallegos Randy Gallegos

        wish i could give you more thumbs than a +1. this site is slowly getting lost to the very douche baggery it stands AGAINST. if the guys running TheChive are seeing this, you need to figure out what to do about SOME of this. i know you cant police your entire website, but it's dying of cancer….

        • Guesty

          "WWWAAAAHHHH!!!!! People say not nice things, people aren't chive robots. WWWWAAAHHHH!!!! Do something about it cause only puppets like me should be able to comment. I'm taking my ball and going home, WWWWAAAAHHHHH!!!!"

          • its_forge

            Uh. Nobody said any of that.

      • Lighten Up

        You said "head." (snork)

      • richardnoggen

        I agree. I'm also glad that people are discouraging asshats with downvotes. There's a blackhole of downvotes a couple inches up 🙂

      • http://www.gfys.org/ t.r.u.t.h

        Welcome to theChive holmie. Nothings gonna change here. What more can you expect from the fucknuts who scream MOAR and FIND HER for every random whore.

      • its_forge

        Brain notwithstanding she's pretty cute in the first dang place.

      • chim richels

        Sucks for you to not be popular, eh?

    • derka

      thats a weird looking vagina

    • Kaars

      Not much for sarcasm are we folks?

      • Sraak

        How was that sarcastic. Oh you meant Self Confidence IS still sexy! I get it now LOLOLOL :-/ Don't back off your original comment.

    • LuvH8fulChix

      Smart girls are hotter than hot girls.

  • YOu

    #37 geriatric globe trotters?

    • Rad-Balls

      'You reach, I teach.'

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=514615429 Pat Overton

      Grandma says, "Bitch, please!":p

      • Squooshy

        broke her hip driving up the lane

  • BMW

    I want #30 #31 #45

  • Pokey_McPoke

    #48 Congratulations! Now can you please ummm remove the top, hand bra optional.

    • Wrong?

      Looks like tits may be optional too.

      • Mat

        Looks like Asa Hope from 2001 Maniacs: Field of Screams

        • http://www.facebook.com/ranDgallegos Randy Gallegos

          pretty sure you're right after a bit of googlin.

  • Gooberman

    #1…i thought the proper beverage was canned beer…never ever considered a keg of beer… genius!!!

    • The_Dood

      It would be a lot harder to keep cold…

      • AnthonySyl

        judging by there outfits i'd say it was a warm keg to begin with. not all countries refridgerate their beer.

        • its_forge

          'Course some countries the ambient temperature is beer temperature anyway = )

    • snocone90

      but if you really think about it… isn't a keg just a giant can?

      • jaynecobb2

        my thought exactly

  • TheBAMFinater

    to stand in front of #31 ….

    • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

      Just tineye that shit and get this: http://bit.ly/fTtVEr

      Hugs,
      Paula
      – "Paula is to Chivettes as DAR man is to awesome…"
      — LG – twitpic.com/5q3g21

      • http://www.facebook.com/ranDgallegos Randy Gallegos

        LMAO at the new audio on your beloved page. i believe ill be bookmarking that for later use. AHthankyouverymuch

    • Pokey_McPoke

      … is the one memory Alzheimer's can never take away

    • HUH?

      those 2 dudes back there are going "wait, are those things aimed at us??"

      • https://www.facebook.com/lalo.spain Lalo Teijeiro

        so that makes 4 dudes in the picture

  • Hand of Fate

    #45 With a figure like that, a girl can make a bathroom as messy as she likes when getting ready.

    • laxcat36

      I'd let her eat crackers in bed for sure.

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1455182063 Steven D Murray

        i would want her to eat some steak and taters

    • truth

      Looks pretty dang perfect from what I can see…..

    • Biggus Diccus

      I'd let her shit in the sink if she wanted too, DAMN!

    • Gevth

      I seriously don't consider it a messy bathroom. I'd give reasons why, but I'm guessing noone here wants to see my bathroom anymore than they would like to see me wearing just a thong.

    • jdb

      I'd tongue punch her fart box for sure.

    • T_Bag

      I'd chew on a mile of that Chivette's farts just to see where they came from!

    • JL13

      Kinda thin. But check her out at http://gypsyone.tumblr.com/

  • MigraineBoy

    #19 This picture has it all!

    • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

      You misspelled '#36'

      Hugs,
      Paula
      – "Paula is to Chivettes as DAR man is to awesome…"
      — LG – twitpic.com/5q3g21

      • joe

        Die bitch

        • DWD

          That seemed harsh, but Joe just meant: "Diet Bitch."

    • derka

      over a box? You had me at half naked, but this closes the deal. Well played sister.

  • hMMMM

    #25 Need I say more?

    • https://www.facebook.com/brandon.anyzeski Brandon AnyZesty

      Normally I'd fear any woman with a gun like that, but I'm oddly aroused.

    • DWD

      Maybe say.. just a little more?

    • Gk-4

      why WHERE is she from?

    • DudeBro

      She looks like she will fall over if she pulled the trigger. Is it her first day?

      • USLethal

        Yeah, that happens when you pose with a weapon you've never shot. She's holding it like an amateur

  • enmimundoideal

    #36
    Marry me!

    • Bob

      That picture is shopped like no ones business. Check out reddit for the real pic…

      • Paul

        Link me bob

        • http://thechive.com/ Award_Giver
          • yup

            give yourself and award for that

          • its_forge

            Shit, man, the original was pretty cute anyway. I feel ashamed to be a dude when there are dudes out there that are this fucking superficial.

      • n_kb

        some people are so dumb! Why photoshop? the original is soo much better!

        • DWD

          Not in my opinion. Listen, I don't care if it is not 'anatomically correct'. My dick likes it. And if my dick likes it, I like it.

          • WEOIe2

            agreed. photoshop is popular for a reason.

            • its_forge

              Yeah well peanut butter is popular for a reason too but you don't see anybody painting the entire planet with it.

              • yup

                Worst. Analogy. Ever.

                • POIUYTR

                  agreed. that was just…dumb.

                • its_forge

                  I was shooting for painting a bizarre mental image; I think I achieved that. You don't want to Photoshop every image of every woman ever taken any more than you want to smear peanut butter on every surface on the planet. Perfect analogy.

          • http://www.thechive.com DavidBowiesJunk

            Your preaching to the choir on that one my friend!

  • pablo_v

    #3
    as your attorney I advise you to gain all that weight back, you're scaring the children

    • _bigdeal

      please!

    • eatit

      now he's not "that fat comedian"; he's "that ugly comedian, that used to be fat." Shudder.

  • Rose3191

    So much bacon in today's DAR, such a win!

    • yup

      If that pic is really you then I have a penis I'd like you to meet

      • derka

        oh you stud you! You must have such a hard time keeping the ladies off of you with all your comment swagger.

        • http://www.thechive.com GreyGhost9

          its easy to have swagger on the internet. haters gonna hate lol

  • theonehodge

    #31 aaaaand from the front…

    • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

      http://bit.ly/fTtVEr

      Hugs,
      Paula
      – "Paula is to Chivettes as DAR man is to awesome…"
      — LG – twitpic.com/5q3g21

      • its_forge

        Seriously tell me you expect anyone to click any link you post.

        • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

          You have no idea how many do. Check the link in my signature; the number of views is right there on the page.
          The GFY link: currently 5,746 views that I can prove. I only post it on the Chive so 5,000+ Chivers went there!

          Hugs,
          Paula
          – "Paula is to Chivettes as DAR man is to awesome…"
          — LG – twitpic.com/5q3g21

          • its_forge

            Well, you are the pro.

  • DCMOFO

    #30
    This would suck to walk on after leaving the bar.

    • sixdeadelves

      or after dropping a hit of acid

    • HUH?

      i might fall over stone cold sober. wouldnt make it out of the room with a buzz going.

  • casper

    #47

    i love you manatees

    • jjj

      nature's speed bump

    • http://www.myspace.com/theamericanmaniacs BentWrenches

      Manatees bend props!

    • K.O.

      I see these poor guys every few days. Backs all cut up from boats. Boaters should minimum wake it near bridges and docks.

      • POIUYTR

        i hear they and Dugongs have the female genitalia most similar to a woman's. maybe that's something the sexually-frustrated chivers could take advantage of……..

        • DWD

          Do you spend more time researching and comparing Manatee and Dugong's genitalia, or contemplating cures for 'other men's' sexual frustration?

    • https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=32800791 Katey Genrich

      So excited to see them in the DAR! They are my favorite animals! :o)

  • Jimbo_Slice

    #14 and the DAR less than three you

    • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

      This is Norma Stitz, worth googling!

      Hugs,
      Paula
      – "Paula is to Chivettes as DAR man is to awesome…"
      — LG – twitpic.com/5q3g21

      • http://thechive.com/ Award_Giver

        Just won't quit with Norma Stitz award

        goes to PAULA aka chive's own home grown troll

    • Ateka

      Yes, the DAR hearts you

    • Spoke

      I concur Jimbo, however, as an active member of PETA, I don't agree with you having a wild animal for a pet. It appears that your monkey is well trained, but dressing it up in people clothes is just cruel. Next time I see your avatar, the monkey better be gone.

      • its_forge

        Even *trolling* about being a member of PETA makes you look like an asshole. PETA are a bunch of useless fuckheads.

        • hater

          And this coming from a guy who posts in every single thread everyday….. Talk about a useles fuckhead. You're on the same level as paula and dung beetles

          • its_forge

            No I don't you pathetic scrotum. You must be here a lot though to notice me posting here. What the fuck's it to you again? 'Cuz I forget what the fuck your problem is.

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