My kid thinks he’s a beaver (5 photos)

August 18, 2011 | In: Funny, High-Res, Kids

: Dear Chive, My son is teething and it obviously hurts. Like most infants, gnaws on the rail of his crib when he wakes up. But he’s taking it to another level…

: Being a typical worry-wart parent, I’m afraid he’ll choke on a chunk of wood in the night. So here’s my solution…

Thanks to Marc for sharing his story of half-kid/half-beast with us!

sabathiawouldbegoodattheeighthtoo

they sell silicone rail covers to protect both kid and crib. This is pretty common.
number 4

Take a sheet and weave it through the bars of the crib around the top rail. It works perfectly and its easy on his gums/tiny teeth. Why the fuck would you let him gnaw on those screws?

TanMan

I know eh?
OR you can buy a teething rail that has NO SCREWS at any number of places.
MacGuyver attempt FAIL!

Dan

i wouldnt worry, my parents said i used to do that. chewed my way out eventually. i grew up to be a productive fully functioning member of society….on the outside anyways.
Kona

Or just let the kid chew the rail. It didn't kill any of us and it won't kill him. And everyone saying get him a teething ring etc…, really? I'm 100% positive the parents have tried that already. It's a child. Feed it, keep it away from fire and knives, and let them grow. They break your stuff, they fall and cry, they smack their heads, they are pains in the asses. But when you see things start to click in their brains, it's the greatest thing in the world.
jjj

smear broken glass and bleach all over the rail that should stop the chewing.
MSM

HAHA we got that same crib…same problem!
Bodhi

Its actually a soft foamy rubber not to smash his teeth! .. Its NOT metal or plastic
The Annoyed Elephant

#5

Call the cops. I think I see Pedobear under the crib.
ChairmanMeowz

biters gonna bite
ummmm….yeah

NOM NOM NOM NOM!!!
DrChimRichalds

The blood work came back. The good news is he's only half beaver. Bad news is unless you're a beaver, your wife's cheating on you.
LanveVito

"Nice Beaver!"
"Thanks, I just had it stuffed."
http://www.facebook.com/charles.pandorf Charles Pandorf

Puts a whole new spin on the term eager beaver.
Logan

You are a bad parent.
ForShame

Sooo instead of spending $10 on a rail cover like most people with a crib-ridden child do, you let your teething kid gnaw through a crib worth 50 times that?

Awesome.
ED209

It could be worse….he could have Mel Gibson's hand up his ass.
SJay

Find some Theraband tubing. Tough as hell rubber can be used for teething and if you have extra left over you can make a sling shot.
http://www.jerseysfox.com wxs123

lovely kids !
beccajordan13

The kid has Pica, google it. My little cousin used to do it all the time, her crib, books, window sills, anything WOOD, including sticks from trees outside. You can go to a doctor, or let it go.
Martin

Ringing all four sides of the crib with concertina wire will do the trick, and will also serve to toughen up the little bastard for the real world.

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