Hot Right Now: Daily Morning Awesomeness (35 Photos)

My kid thinks he’s a beaver (5 photos)

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Thanks to Marc for sharing his story of half-kid/half-beast with us!

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  • Rose3191

    OH nom nom nom

    • Mr.X

      I want to nom nom nom you!!

    • Mr.X

      And by "Om nom nom nom you", I mean cannibalize you.

  • Sped

    The destructive power of children is only topped by the destructive power of adults. It's astounding.

    • LuvH8fulChix

      Don't forget the destructive power of nature.

    • Flicka

      Obviously you've never had a cockatoo.

    • Billy

      Go hug a tree and stop using my air…………..

      • Sped

        As a father of four and an avid woodsman, I don't hug trees so much as destroy them. That's the spirit in which I made this comment, but your immediate assumption that I'm a hippie shows that your powers of deduction are pretty substandard.

        • The Pict

          Hey Billy, Sped thinks your pretty.

          • Sped

            Well, he does have a purdy mouth.

        • LuvH8fulChix

          Man, I totally thought you were being preachy too…

          I suck.

  • Pwithc

    At least he doesn't think he's a different kind of beaver.

    • Nar

      Let's hope he doesn't turn into one late on in life

      • Raunchy The 1st

        a chiver?

    • grant

      zing!

    • egasrst

      That's some gentle comedy dude.

    • pwithc

      Maybe he does, toss him in a cock fighting ring and see if he gets pounded.

  • ddsadsa

    Kool

  • The_Marc

    Get em little Dude!!!

  • MonkeyMadness

    Funny, he didn't do that before he had teeth.

  • kimmy

    get him a teething rig….even a cold wet face cloth will work. come on, mom and dad.

    • b-ry

      no kidding….let him chew on wood for a few weeks….THEN replace it with metal strapping.

      parent FAIL

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1455182063 Steven D Murray

        I hope it's plastic

      • MonkeyMadness

        Where does it say at all that it is metal strapping? Looks like rubber to me.

        Posting FAIL

        • b-ry

          looks like eaves trough to me.
          plastic or metal…its still a FAIL.

    • Baby Daddy

      You obviously don't have children, because if you did you would know that some solutions work for SOME children. Plus if you read the post it is every morning when he wakes up. There is a time between that and when Mom or Dad can get to them.

    • kashakesh

      yeah – that and a little children's tylenol / ibuprofen – works wonders for teeting.

    • HUH?

      well arent you just the best parent ever. ever think that maybe they tried that? my kid had a crib full of chew toys and still prefered the crib rail. we finally put a crib-tent inside the crib to keep her away from it. and the liquid you can put on the crib rail is full of chili powder and toxic chemicals.

    • http://twitter.com/ABQLifer @ABQLifer

      Habanero sauce works great for things like this. Otherwise, this kid is literally going to eat his parents out of house and home.

  • http://www.moddedmustangs.com/forums/clubhouse/230118-good-morning-youve-got-mail-cool-dog-3.html#post3936378 Good Morning. You've got mail! And A Cool Dog - Page 3

    […] […]

  • Smartparent

    Ya the sharp metal object is much better than a little wood. Great idea!

    • Lawndart

      Yeah lots of metal screw heads to ease the pain!

    • Bodhi

      Its not metal… Its a foamy type plastic.. very soft

      • staniel

        Oh that's assuring. Now he's got something to bite off and choke on.

  • http://thechive.com/ BobbaFett

    He'll grow out of it. Until then, take lots of photos for future blackmail.

  • olfisheye

    he should grow up to eat beaver…not be one!

  • http://twitter.com/MancilG @MancilG

    oral fixation?

  • Phil McKracken

    Yeah let him chew on cheap plastic and metal screws instead!

  • Eggwhite

    smear vinegar on the rail.

    • Billy

      Or just squirt him with a water bottle every time he starts chewing…………

      • offside_clyde

        or….toss him in a dumpster.

  • http://www.facebook.com/Rico1124 Ricky Schosky

    Guys…it's clearly a massive piece of chocolate. The parents are jacking him up with sugar in his crib, getting him to keep chewing until he crashes and falls asleep! lol

  • http://www.facebook.com/alejandr0priet0 Alejandro Prieto

    As long as he doesn't want to be a Justin Beaver, he'll be fine

  • Darkside

    He'll be a little dick scraper in about 13 years…..great job parents!

  • BulletproofMonk

    i wonder if he realizes there are 3 other wooden rails to munch on…

    Get the poor kid a teething ring or something.

    • tcuchiver

      that is funny – i didn't even think about that!

    • HUH?

      ever think that maybe they tried that? my kid had a crib full of chew toys and still prefered the crib rail. we finally put a crib-tent inside the crib to keep her away from it. and the liquid you can put on the crib rail is full of chili powder and toxic chemicals.

  • http://thechive.com um_yeah

    Hot sauce works wonders on kids chewing stuff…. Not that I would do that, just saying…

  • LuvH8fulChix

    I used to chew the handrailing on mom and dad's second floor stairs. They made me move out, though.

    • Ebiggz

      Oh man I actually laughed out loud when I read this.

      • LuvH8fulChix

        Thank you, sir.

    • mick

      haha ok +1 internetz for you, actually LOL'd

  • http://renounceapprehension.blogspot.com/ MrRushing

    He's gonna be a biter!

  • bbob

    How is teething amazing in any way at all? Thanks for posting garbage.

    • Bizaro Chive

      You are completely right. TheChive is fucking weird today.

  • amplidudes

    It's always better to be a beaver than a bieber!

  • Screwdriver

    Chinese made crib + Lead + Child = The next super hero….. Super Beaver!

  • Bud

    Good thing we got this in High Res

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