Daily Afternoon Randomness (49 Photos)

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  • Henrik

    Early DAR is early.

    • https://www.facebook.com/jason.ciotti Jason Ciotti

      And extra awesome today…lots of SC in there…should be a regular thing in DAR.

    • They See Me Trollin

      Ok, Chive, in my face. I see what you did there #24 / #25. But how do we know these are recent submissions?

      Seems legit, but not sure if clever ruse or just trollfacing.

      • They See Me Trollin

        Also… I saw these on Reddit FIRST!

        • Selmy

          And #42 was taken from 27bslash6.com

    • Mike Apathy

      Obvious commenter is obvious.

      -Mike Apathy

    • Red

      #9 people still do this lame shit?

      • Cool talk fail

        What lame shit?
        Icing? What's that.

        • Some idiot

          Being "iced" is a trend that died off after people realized how retarded it was. Apparently this guy and his friends didn't get the memo. Basically someone surprise hands you a bottle of Smirnoff Ice and you have to take a knee and drink it all no matter where you are or what you're doing. Yeah, like I said, right up there with planking.

          • its_forge

            Stupid douchey viral marketing for extremely lame people who have a deep-seated desire to be thought of as cool. Or something.

  • tom


    love the smile. oh, sorry paula

    • Hombre

      Michigan rules!

      • Michigander

        YEAH MICHIGAN! Emily your cute and i think you should date me ;)

        • Cooler Michigander

          Emily you're cute and I think you should date me and I used the right "you're"

          • Coolest Michigander


            • DanFromDetroit

              Is that shirt from DownWithDetroit?

              • Emily

                No, I got it from one of the stores in Ann Arbor. I don't remember the name of it though :( Sorry!

        • Emily

          sorry boys, i'm already taken!

          • Average Chiver

            come on, it's not cheating if he doesn't find out. and if you still think it's cheating because you know about it, that's what i have the roofies for.

            • Emily

              loyal chivette and a loyal girlfriend.

              • its_forge

                Well, good thing you're loyal, 'cause now he doesn't have to be the 1 in the relationship that is….

                • its_forge

                  ^^^ very much not me.

      • sooper yooper

        The UP rules, your just holding us back. Were seceding.

        • Chivalrous

          Please tell me you're not one of the yoopers that'd rather be part of Wisconsin.

          Do you know why they call Chicago the windy city? Because Indiana sucks and Wisconsin blows.

    • i can haz ban ?

      Id hit that.

    • BlackJakoo

      never apologize to paula.

  • danny


    would have been perfect for the 'If lips could kill' post today

    • HUH?

      except for the clearly photoshopped chive logo. lame man says…….

      • awesome sauce

        Definitely Photoshopped ,they are quickly bcmng the next 4chan.

        • underdog

          the only thing photoshopped in that photo is the logo on her arm and she looks awesome regardless. haters gonna hate.

        • underdog

          the only thing photoshopped in that photo is the logo on her arm and she looks awesome regardless. haters gonna hate. haha

        • dustin

          not shopped and if you think the chive is becoming the next 4chan, u haven't been to 4chan in… forever

          • wileys

            ^^ dunno why you're getting thumbed down. the chive isn't anything like the fucking chans.

            – a /b/tard

            • WOJIEJr

              you're right, it isn't. it's even lamer.

        • mark

          #48, #45, #49

          yeah, these are probably shopped too. i remember when the chive took a lot of their girls from the /b/ board. they don't do that as much anymore but it's nice to see that, when a site actually starts offering original content, they get called out for doing something they actually do progressively less


      • claire

        it's actually not shopped. that's what the chivette tattoos look like if you don't apply them or put enough water on 'em. trust me, I'd know :)

        • denise

          i find it hilarious that everybody thinks it's shopped.

          u know you can order chivette tattoos on the chivery right? and that they look like that when applied improperly? ah, well.

    • noperium

      Fake Chivette tattoo is fake…

  • Thomas

    I very much enjoy the Chive…. Makes the UNF library less boring.

    • jeffzero

      Is it just me, or has the Chive jumped the shark recently?

      • shaka

        I get that feeling as well…

    • Osprey

      You should have sex there. Its even more fun. 3rd floor, secret room, no windows by the elevators. You're Welcome.

  • marcus


    children of the worst parents ever

    • DrROBOTO

      don't judge me monkey

    • I_am_elf

      I'm no psychologist but being forced to do this as a kid must fuck you up a little bit as an adult.. I mean just look at Paula she's a mess.

      • yodaddy

        Who the F#@k is watching this crap, so that it is in like season 5 or some shit. someone needs to go over to TLC and start checking hard drives for kiddie porn. IMO produced by pedos for pedos, praying on dumb bitches living vicariously through their daughters. Like I say just my opinion

    • sigh......

      Future Chivettes.

      • http://www.youtube.com/user/ADHDavenger13?feature=mhsn Firefighter23

        Current Douchebag.

      • Red


      • USB


      • USB

        Future hoarders, head cases, drug addicts…
        Definitely not future chivettes.

        • Agent K

          "Future hoarders, head cases, drug addicts… "

          as he said, chivettes. one of the chivettes caught herpes from tossing a seagull's salad. true story.

          • Holy Hell

            Not a true story and not funny either.

            • Adam

              #34 becomes #35. Narcissistic, insecure attention whores. Without aweful parents we may never have all the scantily clad women in the world.

              • Adam

                Sorry #35 becomes #36.

  • petra


    One of the big reasons i love the chive. sometimes you just have to end the dar with a great smile imho

    • truth

      i enjoy being more on the hater side myself but i do have to admit the chive does have a heart at least.

      *puts troll mask back on*

    • BloodScrubber

      Emily….definately doing it right. :D

    • hmmmmmmmm

      The sign looks Photoshopped.

      • Emily

        i wrote it myself, definitely not photoshopped!


    i want more hotdog themed ladies please

    • Nickincollege

      Minus the duckface right?

    • DrROBOTO

      how about ladies eating hot dogs?

      • Obie Slice

        #25 ASK ME ABOUT MY WIENER!!!!!

        • its_forge

          So, can you pull out your wiener so I can suck….I mean…see how small it is. With my mouth…..

  • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

    Dear John,
    Remember your FIRST post here: http://bit.ly/dar9aug ?
    On august 9th you got a request from a couple to get a free Keep Calm shirt. You asked us Chivers for suggestions of what they could do to earn a free shirt.
    I pulverized all competition with my winning suggestion (currently 311 thumbs up!) of the "10 Chive classics".
    I'm sure you proposed my winning suggestion to them, but obviously they told you to go fuck yourself with a frozen wet towel.
    So, since I won the contest for the contest I have now earned the Keep Calm shirt! Well?

    – the one you love to hate


      you deserve to be loved

    • John


      • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

        So how was the towel?

        – the one you love to hate

        • Bill57

          it's always about her (it) problem is you are truly deprived. try to realize the world doesn't revolve around you and try to stay relevant I know it is hard for you since you don't play well with others

      • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

        Oh wait, you meant: "No I don't remember". OK read up, I'll hold my breath…

        "Paula is to Chivettes as DAR man is to awesome…"
        — LG – twitpic.com/5q3g21

        • Honk

          i think he might have just no'd your entire existence

    • Avis

      i've always wanted to see paula the troll get trolled. kinda funny to see it being trolled by the chivers the last couple days. gives me a warm feeling inside

    • Irishstephen

      No, really, you're ACTUALLY A CRAZY PERSON, huh? No-one has any idea wtf you're saying like 99% of the time… Make sense for gods sake!

    • SkyVader

      Wait, it's right. It did get the most thumbs up for it's suggestion. Keep your word, John, even though it won.

      • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

        Well he never promised any prize for the winning suggestion…. unfortunately.
        Anyway little does he know I'm stealing Keep Calm shirts boxes at the time…

        – the one you love to hate

        • SkyVader

          I'll take one please. XL……thanks.

        • https://www.facebook.com/rcole83 Ray Cole

          No wonder theChive is always sold out of them…. You selling any?

      • dorian

        John never said he'd give a 'keep calm' to anybody. i can only imagine how many people email John asking for shirts all the time.

        • Paula

          Just make your own dude, how difficult can it be?

          • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

            IT'S NOT THE SAME!

            "Paula is to Chivettes as DAR man is to awesome…"
            — LG – twitpic.com/5q3g21

    • Paul_in_Ohio

      Dear John,

      How about you piss on Paula_ and just send me the Keep Calm shirt b/c you can?

      Sounds good to me!


      • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

        Would LMAO if he'd send you one just to piss me off.

        – the one you love to hate

    • 344045

      I will be proudly rocking my Chive logo shirt to Deadmau5 @ Red Rocks tonight. Expecting bumps from the dudes, kisses from the ladies. Ch1v3 0n

      • Guesty

        What you expect and what you actually get will be drastically different, I'm afraid

        • JU5T 740ll1NG

          I shall report back on my findings, worry not, my anonymous friend.

      • Average Chiver

        "Expecting bumps from the dudes, kisses from the ladies."

        it's actually the other way around.

        • Harakiri

          You, of all people, would know.

          • Average Chiver

            of course. i'm a chiver….

            • Harakiri

              Not just a Chiver… but the Average Chiver.

              • Average Chiver

                exactly. a true chiver wears his The Chive shirt with pride and satisfaction, knowing what a stud-muffin magnet it is.

    • http://twitter.com/Poopy_McPoop @Poopy_McPoop

      I'd put it in your butt.

    • beardpapa

      #40 You guys catch the pic of Paula in todays post?

      • Jose Valdez

        Hahaha I knew that was her. Gracias!!

    • Huge

      Shouldn't you be dead. Winning smile Emily!

  • dr. avalon


    as the father of a newly-minted teenage girl, this is true

    • chrisj

      As father of a newly minted teenage boy…thats my son she's talking about.

      • lick my balls Paula

        HAAAAAA that was good-

    • http://www.facebook.com/damonaco Daniel Angelo Monaco

      Pics or it didn't happen.

  • Irishstephen

    #17 Yes, I'd like to put my face there, thanks for the offer!

    • http://echogeo.wordpress.com/ echogeo

      #16 #17
      Well played gentlemen. Well played.

  • R2G Fan

    #17 Yup they are magnificent! I would stare at them all day, too!

    • MikeyTheFinger

      From a classic Beavis and Butthead episode:
      Beavis: Heh Heh, if I had a set of those, I'd never leave the house!
      Butthead: Heh Heh Heh, I would, to buy a mirror!

  • Mcfly707

    #8 Weird, I feel something else coming.

    • Birdhaus32

      A sin of passion on her naughty bits maybe

    • Stevo

      you wanna get help for the premature ejaculation kid

      • Mcfly707

        Not really, thanks for your concern though. Very thoughtful.

  • G Monie

    #1 For some reason this doesnt seem like that great of an idea…

    • HUH?

      if you look real close, the can says "lion repellant".

    • ROK247

      THIS PLEASES LION. you may live…for now.

    • Phoenix

      "Bad Kitty!", said the future amputee.

    • KyleRetrato

      If you look closely, you'll find that he's actually spraying his own penis.

    • http://twitter.com/ABQLifer @ABQLifer

      Lower. yeah that's it–don't be stingy! I got some terrible fromunda cheese!

  • Rick

    #7 hilarious!

    • jjj

      one on the left looks like Wicket.

    • Master_Rahl

      never was an Ewok fan. Frickin' Jar Jars of the original Trilogy.

      • Anon

        ewoks were amazing

    • yippee

      Nub nub!

    • Trent

      I love EWOKS.

  • Noname

    #33 Please?

    • dfvs

      for some reason, this pic makes me want to cry.

    • Leonard Poncho

      They are still looking for the asshole that killed him

      • Took me a Second

        That's awesome.

    • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

      How the fuck can anyone consider Bieber a fair trade for a rock legend!?!?!?!

      – the one you love to hate

      • G Monie

        I think it's more along the lines of this – He is dead. Bieber is not. Thats what the trade would be.

        • Crappola

          Zombie Mercury. (My choice)

      • amrith777

        Took the words right outta my mouth…..

    • USB

      Maybe throw in Lady Gaga for good measure.
      Freddy went before his time, that's for sure.

      • Agent K

        "maybe"? she'd be at the VERY TOP of my list….

      • AnyoneForCoffee

        For Bieber AND Gaga, I expect Mercury and Winehouse.

    • Dameson

      Sadly one Freddie is worth 1000 Beibers. No true god would consider this a fair trade dammit

    • http://twitter.com/Kuetsar @Kuetsar

      how about this? Gaga, bieber, kiesha and rebecca black for mercury, lennon and george harrison? Maybe through in miley for john bonham as well? oh and mercury died of aids, he wasn't killed.

      • BBB

        You obviously don't get the joke… think about it… he was gay… asshole… hahaha

  • pixel counter

    #1 anti lion spray – not at all effective

    • Pwndu232

      He's still in one piece. I'd call that a success.

    • Mike Apathy

      Actually you couldn't be more wrong. Anti-Lion spray does in fact exist, and it works quite well. I first read about the stuff in Henry Morton Stanley's unpublished journals from his famed expidition to find the missing medical missionary, Dr. David Lingstone. Then again…I could be lion. HEYOOOOO!!!

      -Mike Apathy

      • Dr Sheldon Cooper

        Theoc to push am string? What a silly name for a web site.


        • Mike Apathy

          What are you, my biographer?-Mike Apathyhttp://theoctopushamstring.com

  • MaCo

    First page?

    • Stewie

      Ahaha….. you sly devil you

  • Kaars

    #3… Early DAR is SUPER!!!

    • BleedC&B

      Great body on this broad

    • Master_Rahl

      ever notice how superheroines are all hotties? This (super)chick took good notes!

    • https://www.facebook.com/jason.ciotti Jason Ciotti

      Not sure if trying to fly or trying to plank…

    • ThatGuy

      6 Reasons the Comments on This Article Will Be Useless: 3. The System/Gamed

      On sites where comments are rated by users, the userbase will inevitably come up with a complicated game of grabass for manipulating said system. Look at the current system on Youtube, where about half the comments basically state: "Thumbs up if you liked this …" Getting people looking at a Chive post to applaud how much The Chive(or in this case, DAR) rules is the cheapest type of populism; morons trying to collect thumbs-up from anonymous strangers like they mean something. There is no hole in your life small enough to be filled in by internet praise.

      • Average Chiver


      • Kaars

        So you copy/paste a couple lines from an article on cracked.com, and assume that my very, very, clever pun (if I do say so myself) is an attempt at internet adoration? I like DAR, and what better opportunity to show my appreciation for its hasty publication than an admittedly brilliant play on words…

        You're lightyears behind Paula in the trolling department, my friend. I also like Cracked, and I think that Chris Bucholz deserves credit for HIS words when HE writes them. So, cite your sources, and register like any other self-respecting troll would before lobbing these ridiculous claims from the safety of your Mom's couch.

  • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

    Bloody hell, early DAR! I didn't have my message ready, would have been FIRST!
    #42 see http://www.27bslash6.com/f26a.html
    He's a bit of an asshole there though; stealing and all…

    – the one you love to hate

    • saltytrey

      Funny as all hell

    • Bill57

      that is ok Paula you are still insignificant

      • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

        Fuck, not only were you the first ever to run TOWARDS my basement, but now it seems you really set up camp there!

        "Paula is to Chivettes as DAR man is to awesome…"
        — LG – twitpic.com/5q3g21

    • Jeff

      Paula = David Thorne? possible considering he's the greatest troll ever

    • Brad

      Nobody pointed out his spelling of unprofessional. Failure on your part Paula, I must say. Also, are you from the U.K.? If not, please don't type 'towards,' especially in all caps, as that is the British spelling of the word. Learn American, thanks.

  • figurefour


    So do I.

    • Sarcasm

      Great input.

  • Htisss

    #6 Love the lap dog.

    • dorkfish

      Lap pony

    • emilie

      I'm so jealous right now

    • Mr.X

      loved it more on reddit this morning

      • Agent K


  • David Thorne

    #42 You're lucky Simon, autocorrect changed "fucker" to "whisperer"

    • Master_Rahl

      killer idea, gonna do it to one of the douchey sales guys in our office. What's the best kind of fun you can have? Fun at someone else's expense.

    • Simon Dempsey

      I'll get you David. I'll write you up and have you demoted. You are a prick!!!

      • David Thorne

        And you have Sarah Jessica Parker for a girlfriend, so we're even…

        • Simon Dempsey

          Wrong! My GF is clearly your throat!

        • fjones

          Are we back to the horse (face) fucker than?

    • vindi

      Post the rest of them? There are about 10 or so of these complaints for the same person.

    • Dirty Dingus

      I believe that David Thorne also has my stapler.

    • 2cool4skool

      Unfortunately he didn't have autocorrect when writing the word "umprofessional"…

  • laxcat36

    #28 the only logical solution

    • its_forge 107p

      I have too ,its awesome.

      • Fatality

        Doesn't matter, had sex

  • FloppyRocks

    #22 pure joy for all involved

  • http://thechive.com/ GernBlansten

    #44 WTF?!? Do people seriously do this shit?!?

    • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

      What, you were never invited to one? Fucking great, plus: the entire evening you NEVER have to go to the bathroom!

      – the one you love to hate

    • truth

      Like you haven't Gern

    • truth

      At what the fuck kind of name is Gern?

      • its_forge

        http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Steve_Martin In one comedy routine, used on the Comedy Is Not Pretty! album, Martin claimed that his real name was "Gern Blanston". The riff took on a life of its own. There is a Gern Blanston website, and for a time a rock band took the moniker as their name.

    • Birdhaus32

      Well you just put the proof up soooo yes people seriously do this shit

    • obviously

      This is a small Chive meet up.

    • The Chivery

      Chivers do.

      Chive on!

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