Daily Morning Awesomeness (20 Photos)

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  • Chiver


    • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

      You're far from a Chiver…. now piss off! You unoriginal prick!

      • J_Dub

        ^ your name however is awesome

  • https://www.facebook.com/zthornsberry Zane Thornsberry

    First ever comment. Chive On.

    • https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1064188593 Josh Gorter

      Don't let any thumb downs you may get from this comment keep you from continuing commenting on posts.

    • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

      Go back to Myspace you fucktard….. go eat poison and fuck your neighbor's cat some more!!!!

      • Malkintosh

        It only takes one bad apple to spoil the whole barrel. Welcome to the Chive, Zane.

        • Malkintosh

          Protip, don't ever use the word 'first' in a comment.

    • http://www.facebook.com/coastguard Chris Sko

      Hopefully your last ever comment.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=667795076 Justin Barbour

      Do, however, let them encourage you to lay down in traffic.

    • yessir

      And that's the best you can come up with?

    • hMMMM

      do thornsberries taste like thornsberries?

  • maclean

    #12 oh shit moment!

    • jonn

      oh "i just shit myself" moment

    • Bill57

      if he shoots it he kills himself, but obviously his victim doesn't know that

    • Sick

      "I see Hussein is reaching the bottom of the terrorist recruiting barrel…"

    • what

      that dude is gansta

    • Ezee

      Is that guy going to be executed?

      Not sure how this awesome…

      • pjsupremex

        its awesome because if the guy holding him hostage was to execute him with that it would actually kill all of them, so do you think the guy would actually shoot it?

        • HeyJewed

          Actually, those rockets have to travel a certain distance in the air to arm themselves before they will go off. It would probably kill the guy with the wedgie from sheer force, but it would not explode from that close. It is a safety feature to keep them from exploding when they are just dropped or being transported (or a scenario like this where someone shoots it into something right next to themselves.)

          • Ryan

            I was going to say I bet that would give him a wicked bruise as it screamed by him and hit the building and blew up.. I like how nobody gets it though that this won't work

          • Lawndart

            I thought I heard anti-joke chicken around here…

    • ROK247

      "will someone please tell abdul to put that goddamn RPG away before he kills us all?"

      • Jen


    • Heidi

      This isn't awesome. This is terrible. If you think it's awesome, that doesn't say much about you as a human being.

  • YOu

    Was it a women driving?

    • http://twitter.com/ABQLifer @ABQLifer

      never let a yupster do a home project…

    • robot

      No, it must have bean a men!

    • StaticFX

      No.. lol.. its mine. Bastards at Lowes told me the carpet was 8' long.. which would have hung out a little. I got there, it was 15' LONG!!! Was NOT driving all the way home then back. The wife almost wet herself laughing when I pulled in….Like a GLOVE! lol

    • Jen

      no, it was your mother….zing!

      • larry

        lame, still wanna make out

  • Mike

    And we wonder why we have an obesity problem in America

    • northerner

      And a diabetes epidemic. The piper always gets paid.

    • TiminPhx

      Oh god yes, let's take a silly little soap and use it as an indictment against America. How frigging chic, how special…

    • ROK247

      because we eat soap?

      • asdf

        i think it's more because you have dirty mouths??
        …could be

  • https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1064188593 Josh Gorter

    #14 Why? Because fuck you that's why.

    • Mike

      Looks to me that he's saying "Soon…"

      • https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1064188593 Josh Gorter

        Yeah a little.

    • TiminPhx

      You think of him as "your cat." He thinks of you as his one day, "big kill."

    • patov40

      Obvious reply. Perfect and funny! B)

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001988761292 Justin Zavalaa

    #17 Friendship!…Friendship??? Again?

    • https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1064188593 Josh Gorter

      Nah I'm pretty sure they nailed it with riendship.

      • Dead embryonic Cells

        Look closer, the F is there, it just matches the colour of the carpet (same as the I, which I guess you can see)

        • TheAndychrist

          good call.

  • bob

    Yet another lose for Paula

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001988761292 Justin Zavalaa


      • outof816


        • Mr Mister


        • Just Sayin'

          I'm shocked that only 1 out of 4 of you actually got it right.

          • https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1064188593 Josh Gorter

            I fail english? that unpossible.

            • That Guy

              ME fail english? that's ompossible.

          • http://thechive.com/ Paula_


            – "Paula is to Chivettes as DAR man is to awesome…"
            — LG – twitpic.com/5q3g21

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001988761292 Justin Zavalaa

        damn im going back to school!

  • http://www.facebook.com/chance.ashley Chance Ashley

    #22 ha target commercials get me everytime

    • august west

      find her! wait…this commercial's got to be old enough by now right? Well, maybe wait a couple years…

    • https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1064188593 Josh Gorter

      Whatever pederass.

  • Sassy_

    wish i had an awesome hurricane pic like #19 but i was too busy gettn drunk and building a fort in my living room..

    • Mike

      That's cool. Other people who went through hurricanes were busy dying.

    • truthserum

      Wow – you just sound like such an awesome Chivette – c'mon you other chive losers out there – give this 'everyday, normal' girl lots of thumbs-up! She's so REAL!!!!!!!!!!

      • Brother Maynard

        quoted for truth.

      • Sassy_

        y so mean?

    • Jen

      was it a naked fort? can we make another one tonight? i'm a huge dyke.

  • Chris


    All well and good, but guess what? no more Chive T Shirts…..
    They have been removed from the Chivery.

    I ordered 10 Chive bumper stickers a month ago, they charged my CC but no stickers….

    Chive, what gives? You selling out?

    • that guy

      Chivers never get laid ,specially while wearing a pathetic tshirt like that.

      • sore

        John has responded below :)

        • Brother Maynard


    • USAF

      Well maybe because you are greedy ordering 10 stickers…I ordered 3 on Friday and received them yesterday.

      Or maybe you're a broke ass and your CC got declined!

    • Chim Richels

      You dorks really buy this shit?

      And if your hook ups were real mingepigs like those two, I wouldn't be bragging.

      What's next, AwkwardFamilyPhotos polar fleece jackets?

      Gotta go, gonna put on my cool ass 'MenWhoLookLikeKennyRogers' baseball hat and get fistbumps from my brosefs and sweet hook ups with some bridge trolls.

      • Ha.Ha.

        hi hater. i hate the shirts as much as anyone, but if he got it on with those two, that's a score.

        • snoobs89

          dude there clearly his sisters..

          • HeyJew

            or their mom is their dad's sister. they look kind of hillbilly-ish.

            • snoobs89

              i wouldnt say that, they all look waaaay to much alike to be going home and playing hide the sausage.

        • float

          A score to get it on with THOSE two!??? WTF??? AHHH, you keed, you keed

          • IWEw

            your average chiver: excited about scoring with two chicks who look like their parents were siblings.

    • jjj

      He said he went home with them. Not hooked up with them.
      Also 7 numbers probably means 1 phone number.

    • John


      Did you email Patty about this? I'm sure he would have promptly resent the order. theCHIVERY is not in the business of screwing Chivers but orders to slip through the cracks every now and then.

      As for selling out, the vultures have circled theCHIVE for a couple years now. At the end of the day we built theCHIVE on the backs of our credit cards and even a couple absurd bank loans we didn't deserve. We have no plans of selling out and letting some corporate suit sell us up the river anytime soon.
      Sorry about the bumper stickers. Patty@thechive.com will get right on that.

      • snoobs89

        It's nice to see you read the comments john.

        keep up the good work.

      • Chris

        Whoa, ok, officially faith in The Chive has been redeemed.

        Impressed Chiver here, I did not think the big guy read these posts. Very cool stuff.

        Cheers John, I'll ping Patty.


  • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

    #15 now tell 'em you're Paula and see what happens…

    – "Paula is to Chivettes as DAR man is to awesome…"
    — LG – twitpic.com/5q3g21

    • https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1064188593 Josh Gorter

      I think doing that would be a pretty good way of thinning out the complete idiots.

    • Bill57

      you won't get any, ever lol

    • Bill57

      you are a legend in your own mind Paula

    • http://thechive.com/ GernBlansten

      More women to go home with?

  • kal el

    #15 chive why you no more t shirts me need women to :(

    • pjsupremex


    • trust me i knw

      This is a fake story ,they are his sisters.

      • JAFitC

        At least he got their numbers. . . .

        • The Chivery

          Agreed. A true Chiver would look at his sister, mother, aunt, or grandmother and say to himself "challenge accepted".

          Chive on!

      • Stevo

        The one on the left definitely is

    • The_Dood

      Try personality. Works for me.

      • The Chivery

        We're Chivers. Our "personality" doesn't extend any further than half-decade old internet memes taken from Reddit and 4chan.

        Chive on!

  • Chase

    #20 She can be part of my wolfpack any day

    • JAFitC

      Why, hello! Looking for an Alpha male?

      • snoobs89

        i think she should start by finding some breasts.

        -seriously? i get thumbed down for that? she has the body of an eleven year old boy..

        • Uncle Pervy

          Bite size is my size

        • http://twitter.com/pyrosis pyrosis

          If she would've had implants, you would be complaining about how fake and plastic she looks, so deal with it.

    • Gern Blanston

      Want to rub bikini Wolf's neck

  • HeyJewed

    #11 i dont care if you can make a razor scooter fly. It will never be cool.

  • Guest

    I see no difference between the first and the last picture

    • https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1064188593 Josh Gorter
      • Juoil

        Yeah, a halloween costume is the end of the world. Obviously racist remarks like this one (and any picture with asians has several on the same wave) are ok

      • Banana_man

        It's not racist if it's true.

      • http://www.facebook.com/NelsonCosta1983 Nelson Costa

        how do you do that josh? :D

      • Fasteddy14

        Honey, do you think I should stop and ask those nice young men for directions?

      • JBinNC

        Josh I could not stop laughing at your reply for so long that my wife came out to see what the hell is wrong with me. I freaking love that gif. Perfect execution.

    • Mike

      Last picture is scary as fuck.

    • Taylor

      what's the name for these type of pictures? i want to find more hahaha they're fucking classic!

      • snoobs89

        there tubgirl pictures. just type tubgirl in a google image search you'll find loads.

    • Ezee

      I was going to say that, but then thought, 'that's raaaaaaaaaacist!'. So I didn't.

      Thank you.

    • TiminPhx

      I honest to god, thought the very same thing.

  • Rikimaru

    #2 First!

  • Sean

    #6 Skittles commercial IRL.

    • TheRealSnowman

      Had he been a Chiver he'd made it look like it was going into his shorts…

  • p1ll

    #9 Find her

    • Just Sayin'

      First time i've seen someone ask to find a girl who they saw on their front in a gutter…

      • p1ll

        dude, but what a woman :) she reeks good / fun times :)

        • AnyoneForCoffee

          +1 there, friend!

          Would my girlfriend do that? No. And she would call me an idiot for even considering it.


  • ku2tca86

    #5 Perfect execution. 10/10

  • Anonymous

    #8 is a great movie!

    • That Guy

      yet i don't remember kevin spacey's character wearing a onesie. or brad pitt looking like chuck norris.

    • Mister H.

      RIIIGHT!! didnt get it until now haha

    • Justin

      fuck ya i just saw that the other day for the first time

  • Dashete

    #8 What a legend reference

  • Bill57

    #13 just plain dumb

    • USAF


      • Brother Maynard


    • truth

      where are her knees?

    • Mister H.

      or plain hipster… #FAIL

  • JP Souza

    #2 Who can? Whitfield CAN.

    • The_Marc


  • AssClown

    #14 He's obviously watching you holding your sausage hostage OR jackin' the beanstalk OR perhaps buffing your banana…

    • da2conan

      because fuck you, that's why

    • mln

      Might be hard, seeing as thats very clearly a girl's room.

      • That Guy

        or a confused boy.

        • Brother Maynard

          or yours.

    • yippee


    • Fasteddy14

      Or perhaps flicking the bean, doing the Two-finger taco tango or just Working out at the Y…

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