Daily Morning Awesomeness (20 Photos)

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  • Cyberfunker

    Good Morning All!

    • http://thechive.com/ Joe

      Morning ! Chive on!

    • Rose3191

      I actually just got home….late night for this Chivette. Movie night with the friends, Scott Pilgrim. Love getting home in time to catch the DMA

      • spkdtruth

        You mean working the corner.

        • TRON

          win

      • http://www.facebook.com/ranDgallegos Randy Gallegos

        ❤ Scott Pilgrim, no homo

    • PieceofMind

      Good morning funky fellow

    • http://thechive.com/ Award_Giver

      First comment on the post, does not suck, you get an award

    • KyleRetrato

      #7 I flinched.

  • https://www.facebook.com/zthornsberry Zane Thornsberry

    First

    • ballsballsninja

      I like when kids use there Facebook accounts and try to say first. that way I can stalk them and see if they really are a douche. B)

      • Ambush Steve

        Their!!!!!!!

    • ninjaninjaballs

      a dumb douche. you idiot cant even count

    • sexualniner

      shut up, Meg.

    • moron patrol

      dumb ass…

  • sarcasm

    #13 now open it and make me a damn sandwich!

    • captain obvious

      you do know that's a dude right

      • myNameIs

        Not a dude. Chick arms, blouse, tight undershit. Dude legs though.

        • myNameIs

          *undershirt!! damn!

        • Broseph Stalin

          Dude legs because she's sporting rugby cleats. I'd know those spikes anywhere. And from my experience rugby chicks, although sometimes hot, are usually extremely large in the leg area.

      • jimbojones

        How do you expect to make it through life when you can't even identify a female?

        • The Chivery

          He wouldn't be a true Chiver if he could.

          Chive on!

    • TaskMaster

      Plus it'a not a kitchen, it's a chemical lab, which brings up a different point…NO horseplay in the lab!!

      • xxx

        hey, if she can't make a sammich with science, then what's the point?

      • ebits21

        mmmm chemical sandwhichhh

      • http://twitter.com/ABQLifer @ABQLifer

        No Food Allowed in Refrigerator:(

    • zoro

      oh fu*k no, not another one…bating!?

      • patov40

        Epic fail for those identifying this chick as a dude. And "batting", definitely better than planking or owling.

        • DaddyD

          Other options … vertical planking … stoner owling … and my personal favorite … reserved for Japanese in this position … foot roosting

    • DannyP

      FINE HER!!!

    • emilie

      A sandwich from a fridge containing only god knows what. Good idea. Chemicals, biological agents, yummy!

  • https://www.facebook.com/kindlin David Terry

    LoL

    • thumbdwnalluwnt

      Typical dumbass Chiver.

      • cobby

        Easy…easy. That guy looks like a pedo serial killer

  • http://thechive.com/ Joe

    Shape shifter cat…
    #16

    • http://www.facebook.com/ranDgallegos Randy Gallegos

      its obvious. he swallowed the other one and became him. o.O

    • elbruces

      Those sticks must smell AWESOME!

    • Darkside

      MISTER AAANDERSON…….

    • Yeah, okay

      Animorph… Sort of.

    • http://thechive.com/ GernBlansten

      It's Neo and Agent Smith

    • Jackson

      THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!

  • timtheenchanter

    First!

    • BarneyRubble

      Way to go!

  • https://www.facebook.com/kindlin David Terry

    I checked the whole post, hit the bottom for comments and saw none!

    • hurricane

      stfu

      • GOMES

        Please don't piss off the rapist

  • https://www.facebook.com/kindlin David Terry

    #18 #16 and #1

    • PieceofMind

      Your two comments, Mr. Terry, were an utter waste of first-page space.
      You should be ashamed of yourself.
      As should your mother, who had the silly notion of having you in the first place.
      And furthermore… #7

      • Gibblet Gob

        Dude, if you have any kids aroud, that guy is going to eat them. Look at him, don't you know a psycho killer when you see one?

        • JstevensF

          fifty bucks says he owns a brown mac and a grey van with only a dirty mattress in it.

  • tawhitlow

    #17 She really shouldn't be smoking around all of those babies

    • Bill57

      I see paula made the DMA again

    • myNameIs

      Hahaha!

    • Bucky Jones

      Haha! I wonde if she still breastfeed those adorable babies.

  • sleow

    first! first ever!

    • Nevenem

      lol

    • sleow

      =D

    • befasternexttime

      thats what is happening to you morrons. you are a fucking waste of time

  • Simpson

    #13 Perfect for tasting.

    • Underbaker

      Is this a new form of planking called batting?

      • Psymon Gallows

        Batmanning, it's like planking except not for pussies.

  • sarcasm

    #15 why is he still staring at the screen??

    • http://www.facebook.com/ranDgallegos Randy Gallegos

      you know how much it sucks to lose a game to your gf?

    • http://thechive.com/ Joe

      that looks like brother and sister for some reason…

    • No one

      Because they're playing strip Mariokart and needs only one more win to get her completely naked. . . or he's gay.

      • Catbra

        I was just thinking that this sounds more fun to a girl than strip poker. I'll try it on the wife later, but I've already seen her naked

        • Dogstrap

          Maybe you could play to put on clothes….

        • Dogstrap

          Maybe you can play to put clothes on…

        • varlotto

          Maybe you could play to put on clothes….

          • BROFESSOR X

            LOLOLOL

        • tcuchiver

          it works – one of my favorite games….trick is though that you have to let them win every now and then or they will just give up and then your night is ruined….

    • Anon

      Mario kart 64 had the best battle mode by far of any of the games. Love it.

    • http://twitter.com/StrongAsMeat @StrongAsMeat

      Skinny dude on the left has long hair.

    • Birdhaus32

      Maybe she has the full blown eggs hanging on a nail thing happening

    • http://man-lair.com Stafferty

      Strip Mario Kart, best date idea ever

    • WhyVess

      or maybe shes by far the best girlfriend ever, and this is common behavior.

    • JLM

      only played strip Fifa before…what a high scoring game that was.

    • Name

      and if he is the boyfriend, who's taking the photo?

    • JAS

      Because it's freakin Mario Kart 64.

  • free

    mtv is full blown tard now

    • http://www.facebook.com/free2shred Shawn Michael George

      It has been full blown tard for at least a decade. Likely more.

    • Dirty_Johnny

      wouldn't know, stopped watching in 1993 and haven't missed it yet.

    • That Guy

      guys guys guys… differently abled is the preferred nomenclature.

  • Nobody

    #20 We’re gonna need a bigger boat

    • waryee

      or just let the thing drown…

    • http://www.facebook.com/free2shred Shawn Michael George

      Omnomnomnomnom?

    • JAFitC

      A wild snorlax came in with the tide.

    • http://www.facebook.com/ranDgallegos Randy Gallegos

      "sarah didnt even realize she had bbq sauce in her hair when she jumped in the water, sadly little mistake cost her her life. she will be missed"

  • kdrat

    Who uploads Daily Morning Awesomness? IT is 3 hours after midnight in US

    • guielmo

      it's morning in europe! =)
      greetings from croatia..

    • elbruces

      They probably set it up the day before then it posts automatically at midnight off of a server script.

    • http://www.facebook.com/free2shred Shawn Michael George

      Few things: There are 4 different time zones in the US. The Chive has visitors from all over the world – it is morning somewhere. Lastly, when you finish dragging your ass out of bed and finally get to work so you can slack off on the internet, the DMA is posted for you so you don't have to wait for something. Why complain?

      • http://www.facebook.com/free2shred Shawn Michael George

        That and I mean, they are professional bloggers. Think they wake up at 5:30 in the morning so they can beat traffic? Fuck no. At 5:30 in the morning they are working on their 3rd bottle of Jack for the day.

        • ParryforPlay

          Ya and they get their cocks sucked by little fanboys all day

          • That Guy

            i bet you'd like that. nothing like a big ole' gay blast to show your ignorance.

            • ParryforPlay

              Pardon my ignorance, but I forgot to defend the Chive like it was my handicapped mother being attacked by Klingons.

              • http://www.facebook.com/ranDgallegos Randy Gallegos

                well that explains your handicap then doesnt it.

                • Noice

                  Lame.

              • That Guy

                your ignorance explained: you come to this site and bash the people that make it happen. do you normally go to peoples house's and start pissing on the walls…. you know you probably do.

        • cobby

          Shawn Michael George = head gay.

          Just like the head vampire, if you stab him in the heart with a wooden dildo, all of the other fags will turn straight

      • Nicnac

        He complains because he misses the privilege of posting "First!" on DMA.

  • Z_b

    #13 Wait for it…

  • tawhitlow

    #16
    Stay away from my sticks. All of them, they're mine.

  • bob

    #24 find her

    • 6655321

      'cause it looks all legit and shit.

    • for real

      She is a hired hoe. Girls this hot dont gv a fuck bout lame movies.

      • http://www.facebook.com/ranDgallegos Randy Gallegos

        actually my gf does, now go back to eating your pizza rolls and WoW. leave the real ladies to the adults.

        • i know

          He said hot girls ,going by ur picture ,u r dating a minger.

          • http://www.facebook.com/ranDgallegos Randy Gallegos

            she's "burned her bra" for the chive in the past. but, bc of trolls and douches alike, she wont be submitting anymore.

    • Chris

      Those TSA agents are getting all intense and shit now….

    • dagleja3

      I'll second that motion!

    • walther

      Aiden Ashley?

      • http://www.facebook.com/Zenygma Mark Lininger

        You are correct. Good eye.

      • matt

        note to self: stop searching for names that appear in Chive comments at work. Fastest alt+f4 ever.

    • Kris

      All records were lost when the Death Star blew up. Sorry bro.

      • JAS

        Not funny, I had friends on that Death Star.

        • OWIEJ

          not funny, 'cause that's not original.

    • J_Dub

      check out the stuff in the background, is this in a sex shop?! I guess Lucas and Spielberg aren't the only ones fucking Vader & stormtroopers

      • hater

        you sure are one stupid looking hillbilly

  • Eric

    A clown at the circus. #5

    • Chris

      Malcom X must be real proud of her…..

      • kim

        Haters

    • http://javelinphotos.com Javelin

      G'damn what's happening nowadays, how can anyone find this clothing cool, sexy, nice ore whatsoever?
      They say children are clothing like there roll models…imagine your little girl look like this?

      And why does here hear looks like a damn soft ice cream?

      • chefmaster

        Or the Pink Panther took a shit on her head.

    • NAACP

      Proof that negros are stupid

      • http://www.facebook.com/ranDgallegos Randy Gallegos

        proof that you're an ignorant prick.

        • NAACP

          Randy, you wanna suck my big black what???

      • Noice

        lady gaga's black?

        • greasdupdeafguy

          no, but she is a guy now

          • OIWe

            please stop paying her any attention.

            • greasdupdeafguy

              she's like an (insert gender here) version of Marilyn Manson

    • ebits21

      Not a clown… just batshit crazy.

      • WEaqe

        not batshit crazy, just an attention whore.

    • W.E.B. DuBois

      All negros are clowns in the circus of life

      • http://www.facebook.com/ranDgallegos Randy Gallegos

        and all racist's are like the special ed kids that showed up for the honors debate. you're just out of place nowadays. go find something else to hate that you can blame your shitty life on.

  • Gaucho

    #19 It's a trap!

  • DweebsterDeluxe

    #15 She's whooping his ass!

    • yes sir

      Your average Chiver ,nerdy ,desperate and wants to tap his sister.

      • Mike

        I my sister was naked and next to me playing Mario Cart, then sure. Why not? Just gotta pull out, that's all.

    • tralfaz

      He knows what he's doing.

    • Travis

      Is that Strip Mario Kart??

      • Master_Rahl

        B(r)e(a)st. Idea. Ever.

    • http://www.facebook.com/TimothyWilkes Timothy Wilkes

      Actually. . . Her boobs are out. . . He is winning regardless.

  • NP

    Morning chive. Morning freeway

    • http://twitter.com/sterlingsylvir @sterlingsylvir

      Morning trapped in a twisted ball of burning wreckage, because I didn't see the cars slowing down in front of me!

  • http://twitter.com/aylabafile @aylabafile

    #15 Strip Mario Kart!!!!!

    • Kyle

      Ohhh….. See… It makes soooo much more sense now. I was imagining this awkward conversation where the guy has to convince the girl to play a game of Mario Kart topless for some random reason.

      • http://twitter.com/aylabafile @aylabafile

        isn't getting naked itself good enough reason? There is no need to try to convince her…. Like, apart from cooking everything done naked is much better….

        • that is all

          Whore.

        • ROK247

          try cooking bacon naked. no good.

          • http://twitter.com/aylabafile @aylabafile

            that's why I said "apart from cooking"….. 😉

            • ROK247

              what, a difference a comma makes 😛 (or lack thereof)

              • http://twitter.com/aylabafile @aylabafile

                well hun, since English is not my first, but my third language, I'd be happy if you could let this one go…. What do you say? 😉

                • ROK247

                  no problem you had me at hun

                  • http://twitter.com/aylabafile @aylabafile

                    cute! thanks….

        • truth

          my kinda woman you are!!!!!!

          • http://twitter.com/aylabafile @aylabafile

            lol… thanks…. :$

            • truth

              Any time hotness…. you should contribute to sexy chivers. Just sayin

            • james

              whats wrong with your right eye? does is work correctly, are you blind in it? Did your pimp slap you too hard?

              prolly just took the pop shot in it before you took that pic.

              • Name

                the number of tasteless losers commenting on the chive nowadays is saddening.

                • Sadly...

                  True

                • Sadly...

                  But they do have a point. These chicks are ravenous attention-whores. "Look at me, I'm a girl who likes playing video-games while naked and simultaneously reading a Star-Wars comic. How do I do it? Don't ask, I'm just such A HUGE NERD! *Giggle*".

                  • Cocrates

                    giggity

        • http://www.facebook.com/ranDgallegos Randy Gallegos

          you must know my GF, she has this same mentality LOL knew i loved her for a reason.

          • unstoppable

            You both look like inbreds in that pic ,u dating ur sister eh ..

          • Teh joiw

            that's one ugly bitch. looks like you with a wig on.

  • willimo27

    Im pretty good at mario cart…. but i generally loose when i don't look at the screen
    #15

    • 6655321

      In what way are you loose? Just answered my own question.

    • ebits21

      People don't know the difference between loose and lose anymore. Drives me nuts.

  • Dagoth Wit

    #10 I remember laughing uncontrollably the first I saw this one.

    • https://www.facebook.com/eeolazaran Eddie Olazaran

      I laugh harder than I probably should have every time I see this.

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